[x]

My boyfriend won’t stop talking to me about whether or not I would eat Pokémon steaks. We think maybe Mr. Mime steaks would have white meat and ooze a purple liquid. I feel like you’re the only one qualified to tell us more

listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning

luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps

once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionals 

youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning

the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter

after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time

once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites

THIS guy though, you can just pop em into your mouth whole. its fine

Ticklish|Detroit: Become Human|Connor x Reader (Female)

A/N: This was very fun to write! Enjoy.

Warnings: None.

Connor x Reader (Female)

Summary: But he had no idea you would jump in place, neither make or rather squeak into thin air. The both of you stayed silent for a moment. Then, Connor slowly… repeated the action, this time purposely. You laughed, covering your mouth with a hand that brought it to an abrupt stop. Connor felt a pair of hands settle over his and unstick them away from your stomach.

“Connor, don’t.”

***

“Hey son, could you ask (Y/N) if she could fix up a coffee for me as well?” Connor’s fixed attention on the files he was registering in his memory was cut off at the sound of the Lieutenant. He retreated his hand away from the keyboard, his skin materializing back over the white porcelain of his hands before directing his gaze towards Hank.

“Right away Lieutenant- I mean… Hank.”

Becoming a deviant gave him a freedom he wasn’t used to. He had a mind of his own now, with no instructions to maneuver him around anymore. Sometimes he had to remind himself that it was alright to drop the formalities with Hank. More importantly, he was considered a friend and an individual that was alive. It hadn’t flown past his attention the fact that he was now regarded as a human being.

And it felt nice.

Though Gavin still remained a prick, there was no change in that.

“Thanks Connor.” Anderson returned to his own pending work, hands moving over the keyboard. The android pushed back in his chair, standing up and going to push the chair back in. But he halted mid action, taking an innocent look around the office before turning on his side and pushing said chair in with his hip.

As much as a small action it was, it was very much invigorating to be able to move like that. His former program strictly held him on a more professional stride, meaning he couldn’t or wouldn’t think of moving the chair the way he just did. But he did it, and it felt wonderful to communicate his own feelings that way.

He started making his way to the kitchen area with a small spring in his stride, spotting you in front of the counter. It was clear you hadn’t noticed his presence so it wasn’t quite difficult to slide in behind you and wrap his arms around your waist to peek over your shoulder. He had seen and heard of the meaning of hugs. Some humans used it as a greeting so he decided to try it himself instead of what he usually did.

You seemed a bit tense though, maybe you were working too much.

“Uh- Connor?” You craned your neck to get a good look at him, your hand frozen on the spoon you were using to mix. “What are you doing?”

“Lieutenant Anderson has politely requested that you make a cup of coffee for him, if you would.” The corners of his mouth tugged upwards into a soft smile. “As for your inquire on my actions at this present moment, I’ve decided to try a hug for a greeting.” His head tipped aside, mouth parting slightly as he took a general look at you. “Though it seems you are not keen of such. If you don’t find yourself at a comfortable position I won’t repeat it again.”

“No- No it’s fine. Really. You just… caught me off guard.” You offered him a smile in return before retaking the task of mixing the coffee with the spoon. Connor watched your every move. The way the coffee swirled around in the cup and made different patterns. How you reached up for another cup in the cabinet above your head. The RK800 flexed his fingers lightly against your stomach, not quite intentional; he was familiar with unconscious movements that he did every now and then.

But he had no idea you would jump in place, neither make or rather squeak into thin air. The both of you stayed silent for a moment. Then, Connor slowly… repeated the action, this time purposely. You laughed, covering your mouth with a hand that brought it to an abrupt stop. Connor felt a pair of hands settle over his and unstick them away from your stomach.

“Connor, don’t.” You gabbled sheepishly. It wasn’t exactly a warning, but rather trying to prevent it from happening. And before he could ask precisely why, you added too quietly. “I’m ticklish….” As if it was something wrong, or rather dangerous.

But being ticklish wasn’t… or was it?

His eyes zoned straight forward, accessing his database.

Ticklish: quick to laugh if someone lightly touches one’s skin.

He blinked rapidly, the information fading into nothing as he looked at his hands, quite close to you. Quite available for tickling. When he went in to do it again, you dodged, escaping under his hold and away from the counter. His intentions were rather clear for you to realize quickly.

“Connor.” You warned half-seriously, holding out both of your arms in front of you, as some sort of shield to protect you from tickling hands. “(Y/N). Allow me to explore this… fascinating discovery I’ve just made about you.” Persuasion and kindness, even curiosity laced his tone as he dared take another step forward just as you stepped backwards.

You both froze in place, and as if on cue, you took off at the same time. Connor followed behind you, knowing that eventually he would catch you; either by pure speed or the fact you would get tired and he wouldn’t. You dodged in time to evade crashing into an officer, skidding out of control at a loss of equilibrium but fortunately impulsing yourself back to stability with Hank’s desk.

“Connor, (Y/N). What the fuck are you two doing!? This is not a playground!”

“Sorry Hank! It won’t happen again.” He followed suit, not even looking back at the other. You had made your way into the lobby, trying to make your way through without any incidents and calculating at the same time what would be the safest route. Connor had it a bit easier since he just had to follow you, but a group of officers were making it difficult to not lose sight of you when they shuffled in hrough the entrance.

Taking those golden seconds with the android all caught up behind, you skittered to a stop to sort out your options. You could: leave the building altogether, but that would not put up a well image with Fowler; go in the elevator, where you would be safe for a temporary time; or the stairs, which would give you more options to hide in different stories easily. The stairs seemed to be the best option but you were tiring quickly and would be glad to have a break.

The elevator it is then.

“(Y/N)!” He was close and you dared not take a look back as you took off straight towards the doors that were closing… closing… You could still make it and leave no place for Connor to slide in. The RK800 slid to a stop with a mild curse, hands pressing up on the glass doors before looking up at your peeking form that was ascending the building. He looked around wildly, then grinned when he saw the stairs.

You shuffled back, horrified upon seeing the android’s running was almost matching the speed of the elevator. When he could, he would steal a glance at you, the bastard tease doing a salut when you were close to reaching the stop and he was already running towards the soon to be arriving elevator.

You practically served yourself on a silver platter.

The ding of the elevator that alerted of the doors opening almost marked the continuation of your chase. You tried to shuffled out together with the man that had been there but Connor was astute enough to pretend to bump with you and push you back in the elevator. Keeping you backed up against the farthest end, he blindly inputted a number and waited until the doors closed before turning to you.

You mentally prepared yourself, and soon enough, Connor’s hands were on you, breaking hell lose.

An android receptionist stopped working, looking around in confusion as she tried to find the source of the muffled laughter. When she saw the elevator descending with the pair inside, a smile spread on her face and she returned to work.

Yaoi For Beginner’s Rec (Part 2)

Made a part 2 since everyone seemed to really like the first part and I’m always happy to help out my fellow yaoi fans.

Part One

Want to read something with sex toys? Koisuru Omocha Yume No You Na Hanashi Fuuzokugurui Desu Ga Toshishita Danshi Ni Kokuraremashita Ginkaku Hakase to Marmot  Momoiro Salesman

Want a manga that makes your heart hurt and leaves you ???

MODS Itou-san Hybrid Child Rasen No Kioku The Specific Heat Capacity of Love

Like characters with tattoos/piercing?

Brother Auto Spot Usagi Otoko Tora Otoko Asa to Mitya Gokudou Darling Bond(z)

Tired of the typical shy, blushing uke?

Hyakujitsu no Bara Honey Sour Flavor Heart Strings Nirameba Koi Dark Road

Want a manga certified 100% rape free?

Boulange no Koibito Ijiwaru Na Kuchibiru Junketsu Drop Konbini-kun Blue Sky Complex

Like couples with an age gap?

Yamada To Shounen Korotto Ochita? Hana wa Saku ka Sumanai!! Masumi-kun Urahara to Dilemma

Want something involving vampires?

Raising a Bat Shinpu-sama No Kyuuketsuki Vampire Library Yamiiro No Aijin Hana to Junketsu

Manga with werewolves?

Tsuki ni Hoero Hakuyou Ayakashi Gatari Coyote Sweet Dog Food Kamu Otoko

Manga with mermen?

Orenchi no Furo Jijou Junketsu Ningyo Koi Uta Blue Eyes Wild Fish

Manga with pirates?

Kaizoku Game Corsair Umi Ni Nemuru Hana Love Hustler Cutlass

Manga with butlers?

Ouji No Hakoniwa Hachimitsu Ouji Wa Shitsuji Ni Madou Bamford Koushakuke No Shitsuji Shitsuji Kyoushi no Renai Jugyou Fuson na Hana o Aisureba

Manga with angels/demons?

Sabishigariya wa Yume o Miru Mayonaka no Acchimono Akuma Game Asterisk Tenshi no Tame no Shohousen

Want something involving incest?

Kyoudai-biyori Mayonaka no Oyatsu Ienai Itami o Daite Iru Fuson na Hana o Aisureba Haikei, Niisan-sama

Interested in some threesomes? 

Bachi Bachi Choco Strawberry Vanilla Junk!Boys Ikenai Otoko Seikaku Warui Uke Ga Guzuguzuni Nakasareru Hon

Want to read something with double penetration?

Futari No Musuko Ni Nerawarete Imasu Kedamono Hatsujouki!! Ryoute Ni Darling Youkubari wa Dame na no K dj - Fushimi-san ga Futari ni Natte Misaki o Semeru Hon.

Want a manga where the couples switch positions (seke)?

Sojou No Koi Wa Nido Haneru Hatsukoi No Atosaki Yume No Kodomo Three Wolves Mountain Mukizu ja Irarenee

A manga where the seme/uke has kids?

Gochisousama Koishite Daddy Ikumen After Fukigen Kareshi no Nadamekata Koisuru Barairo Tenchou

Scrolling through tumblr bored and just want something random?

Koori Ga Tokeru No O Matteru Seven Days Totally Captivated Akihabara Fall In Love Sagatte Omachi Kudasai

NOTE: Please do not reblog my posts if you’re going to add negative comments. Thank you.

Welp, welp, here he is. So headcanon on this boy, eating humans, not having any magical food to heal him, and y’know; the big hole in his head, has made him slower. Not like he isn’t Sans-like, he’s still smart and funny and all that it just takes him a second or two to process peoples words. Still pretty quick on the kill tho, instinct and all that.

Also; food based nicknames so stuff like “peach”, “dumplin’”, “pumpkin” and the the like. 

…And I saw you’re tags and comments so I may have… Pandered… A little… 

点图和惩罚的图会按分类一点点发上来

y’ever?

1.) Family/Friends (mainly my siblings)

2.) Daydreaming into another dimension

3.) Art (I don’t post here, I post on insta)

4.) Music (goes well with the daydreaming)

5.) Reading (any and all kinds of fiction and fantasy)

Bonus!

6.) Video Games (though I am a very casual gamer, when I find a game to obsess over, it’s all I will ever play or talk about for years).

I’m rarely on Tumblr anymore and the last person to like any of my posts is @nixetra (love u boo). Check out her art! It’s amazing! She’s also on Instagram with the same @.

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you, learn to know your mutuals and followers !!

1. VAPORWAVE

2. PIZZA

3. LIJ

4. SLEEPING

5. WRITING

@ghoulsister1 @lexis-the-stick-figure @roman-the-rat @gold--gucciempress @crookedmoonsaultpunk @sweet-teas-writing @thalula @rrsexybeast @msnikkimoneypenny

I’ve gone trough literal hell to upload this

My vision of Flug changed a little. When I accidentaly found this song  first thing I thought about was paperhat. I hope it’s good, it’s my first time doing song comic.

Also I couldn’t finish without sth stupid…