You Know What Really Gets My Goat?

seeing people be like ‘I know it’s going to be hard to support the sag strike because movies and shows will stop coming out but-’ is so fucking funny like can I introduce you to a beautiful concept called the million billion movies and shows that already exist that you couldn’t even get through in a lifetime if you wanted. welcome to heaven <3

"You can't be a lurker on tumblr." Yes, you absolutely can. I've been quietly reblogging things since 2014 and I haven't interacted with anyone in years.

Hey I saw you from across the bar but my girlfriend didn't. Are you some manner of spirit

you’re laughing. they’re horrifically misinterpreting my favorite character’s personality and you’re laughing

"writers deserve attention more than actors" literally only 2% of actors can pay the bills with acting. For every megastar on screen there are a dozen other people in the shot who are SAG. Acting gets so glamorized but there are SO MANY people in SAG who NEED residuals to live on. Background Party Girl #4 needs her check too!!!! There are people who play recurring characters on syndicated shows who cant afford health insurance!!! Ke Huy Quan gave an oscar winning performance and LOST HIS HEALTH INSURANCE the next year.

Hey, if you're seeing this, kindly don't. Thank you

“what if people transition and then regret it?” ok. let’s do that with everything. no more straight marriages until the heterosexual divorce rate is below the detransition rates

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time