“ Breath Of The Streets “

The Human story: When you’re very young, the world is confusing, you struggle to understand the meaning of life, and therefore life is an abstract, fairly meaningless.  In the middle of your life, you have brushes with death maybe, health problems, near OD’s, your parents die and suddenly you’re very alone.  You work through it, but you start to fear death. 

Maybe I skipped a chapter already but at one point if you’re lucky you stop fearing the unknown, you realize everytime you sleep you die and hope you’re reborn, some people find god, and try to right all their wrongs out of fear, but death is the great equalizer, and is necessary.  Unlike Humans, Earth recycles everything and there are only X amount of resources therefore only Y amout of things can live on X. 

Do I fear death?  Sorta, do I also contemplate death as a release from the sufferings of the world?  You bet, but really it all comes down to how stubborn you are, I’m not in love with life, life has been shitty to me, and now that I’m old enough to do something about it I’ve lost all ambition therein.  At the same time, unlike some hot topic teen goth I dont romanticize death, death is grizzly and horrible. 

Most adults make a life via their vocations and families, they dont have to contemplate their mortality or the nature of the universe, not often, but I dont have that luxury, and as I sit here in my little self made cell, high or drunk on whatever, I think my perspective is different than alot of people. 

Every angsty teen is in love with death because they have a goldfish like brain, and they’re just finding the ocean, most adults are affraid to swim, so they only swim for reasons they make up, money, career advancement, what have you, and some pull the trigger and sink.  Death comes to us all, how you handle it is what makes you you, and everything you say do or think will be defined by this one basic premise, youll either be reckless or fearless, and both are really a sham.  You WILL die, your loved ones will die, in 200 years no one will remember your name, anyone who would will die, invent a heaven or live with it, live to youre old and pissing yourself in a bag, die at 20 from an OD it really doesnt matter you’re just a building everyones waiting to fall down so they can use your bones to shape a new building, you matter completely and you dont matter at all.

I refuse to cry for the people I know that have died young from drugs, i refuse to cry for the people that lived to be old enough to drain excess resources to prolong their inevitable demise, I refuse your concept of reality, I refuse.

The Whole History of the World

A 12 step program:

1 - Earth is formed from dust and shit

2 - Water forms, weird little fish frog things come out

3 - Monkeys evolve from said fish frogs in southern africa

4 - Monkeys leave africa, come up with religion

5 - Lots and lots of people die over religions

6 - we start farming animals, get a slew of diseases

7 - we wipe eachother out with diseases

8 - we invent penicillin and shit

9 - we go back to killing eachother over cartoon characters in the sky

10 - History repeats itself

11 - We all get fat, and destroy the atmosphere, we die and take everything with us

12 - The sun dies, no one is around to notice we were ever there

The End

All Alcoholics and Junkies talk about is how many days since they’ve done blank, and how great it is to not be on blank, and how last nights meeting about blank was inspirational.

But blank doesnt still control their lives, it’s  their every waking thought, but it doesn’t control them...

Infact, i grew up in a shit neighborhood, and something like 75% of the people i knew in childhood grew up to be junkies.  Glad I dont have these kinda problems...

*drinks til he passes out, wakes up, drinks*

"I will work as long as my life remains. Working for my food is what has made me happy in this life." (Gatlang, Rasuwa)

The Buddha teaches us that life is suffering, to live is to suffer, because to live is to need, and to need is to suffer, and to be enlightened is to be free of need, of suffering, the Buddha teaches that the point of life is to live long enough to realize the point of living is to get ready to be dead longer, let go of need and consciousness, and accept it.

After 30 years, I totally understand this notion, it's already more than enough, not that most humans drive me the fuck up the wall or anything,  Kisses, love you...

I notice lots of people hate on junkies, they’re easy to hate.  most people that hate on them though have never been in a situation anything like that, and their opinion is a witch hunt and bullshit.  I dont hate on junkies to be in some in club of junkie haters, i hate on them because i basically was one, and still have my own demons, but know god and 12 step bullshit is just that, its bullshit.

I hate on junkies because i grew up with them, i lived with them, I fucked them, I dont call them spoiled children with victim complexes because i read that somewhere, its based on first hand observations.  I say alot of offensive things, thats my charm, but this subject i dont feel bad about, you’re not some martyr, you’re not something special, I also hate the whole be like me thing, when people find jesus, everyone better also be into jesus, or else, so you go from being some junkie hooker to some fascist for jesus, oh yeah, you’re SUCH a better person now.

Man up, own it, take responsibility, and have some fucking willpower without being an annoying twat, if i quit smoking cigarettes tomorrow i wont demand the whole world does it with me, i wont stop loving the people i do because they smoke and now when they smoke i NEED to smoke, im not a weak fuckin person like that, and you shouldnt be either, we have the same biology.

Japan Kabuki Performance

You won’t find me in any opera house when Kabuki theater exists.  People are always talking like Lazer Floyd, no, if you want those mushrooms to really hit you go see Kabuki theater.