Send “📂“ For A Random Yet Completely Useless Headcanon I Have

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED

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Some more gems

Just me supporting @1-love-pencils and the amazing artwork she produces

And yes he is very pretty and I am dehydrated in the desert

No Jeremy I do not know what’s in a rum and coke my best guess is WHISKEY AND SPRITE

Jeremy is very bad at not being a stuttering mess while on a date. Even with me prompting him and the fact that he and Christine have gone on 7 dates.

Jeremy is no longer allowed to attempt to cook dinner for Father’s Day. We just now got the stains off of the kitchen and are still using scented candles in the house.

Okay. Gardening 101; or “Auntie Sys I have a yard that’s currently a yard and don’t know SHIT or FUCK about how to make it not be a boring-ass yard.”

Step 1; go to your local landfill and get all of the newspaper you can. Cardboard will also work. If your neighborhood puts them out for recycling, go around and grab them all like a little newspaper goblin.

Step 2; acquire mulch. If you WANT, you can go pay for it at a garden store, but we’re all cheap lazy bitches here so screw that. Most landfills will collect yard waste and branches and chip them into woodchips, which you can get for PENNIES or FREE. Go load up on that good shit.

I like straw too, which I can get for barter because I am related to half the people around here and a solid 65% of my extended family are farmers. I give Uncle Daryl three quarts of elderberry jelly or a couple pounds of morels in spring and he loads me up with straw bales.

Step 3; figure what parts of grass you want to be not-grass, and cover that shit in newspaper, good and thick. 5-10 layers. It helps to wet the newspaper to keep it from blowing away as you work.

Now, cover that newspaper with a good thick layer of mulch.

Congrats, you’re removing the grass. It’ll starve to death under the mulch and newspaper and rot into compost. You now have garden beds and have not dug one single bit of sod.

If you can’t wait for six months to plant, pull the mulch aside, cut a hole in the newspaper, and dig out a plug of sod the size of the planting hole. Throw some compost in there and plant. Tuck mulch back around plant. Water well.

There ya go. Garden beds. In a year, when you pull back the mulch the newspaper will be almost rotted away, and the soil underneath soft and loamy.

Jeremy: I’m hungover.

Me: Well, whose fault is that?

Jeremy: You were supposed to tell me to stop drinking!

Me: And you were supposed to listen to me when I told you that the alcohol was messing with my system!

Jeremy: ...How do you make a hangover cure?

GODDAMMIT JEREMY THIS IS NOT FUNNY SHE IS DEAD

Jeremy and Michael won’t stop watching Game of Thrones and I am going nuts.

Also, I love the Direwolves.

I should probably add that they will be going as the three Heathers. Skirts and all.

Jeremy told me that I need a Halloween costume this year. I don’t see why, since I don’t have a form outside of a pill, but he insists. So now Rich’s SQUIP and I are putting out heads together to come up with costumes for ourselves.