Jeremy Is Moping Because I Gave Him An “unnecessary Lecture.”

JEREMY I AM NOT A TIC-TAC STOP CALLING ME THAT

Stoppp shocking jeremeyyyyy

Make me.

Rich has started a relationship with a boy named Jake. I don’t know much about Jake. Not much data on him from Jeremy, and there’s no SQUIP to sync with. But he seems nice, and Rich’s SQUIP approves.

Character: is sarcastic, has a tragic past, probably evil, a jerk, impeccable fashion sense, cocky, good w their hands.

Me:

Jeremy is not allowed to watch Game of Thrones until he apologizes for laughing at me when Lady died.

Okay. Gardening 101; or “Auntie Sys I have a yard that’s currently a yard and don’t know SHIT or FUCK about how to make it not be a boring-ass yard.”

Step 1; go to your local landfill and get all of the newspaper you can. Cardboard will also work. If your neighborhood puts them out for recycling, go around and grab them all like a little newspaper goblin.

Step 2; acquire mulch. If you WANT, you can go pay for it at a garden store, but we’re all cheap lazy bitches here so screw that. Most landfills will collect yard waste and branches and chip them into woodchips, which you can get for PENNIES or FREE. Go load up on that good shit.

I like straw too, which I can get for barter because I am related to half the people around here and a solid 65% of my extended family are farmers. I give Uncle Daryl three quarts of elderberry jelly or a couple pounds of morels in spring and he loads me up with straw bales.

Step 3; figure what parts of grass you want to be not-grass, and cover that shit in newspaper, good and thick. 5-10 layers. It helps to wet the newspaper to keep it from blowing away as you work.

Now, cover that newspaper with a good thick layer of mulch.

Congrats, you’re removing the grass. It’ll starve to death under the mulch and newspaper and rot into compost. You now have garden beds and have not dug one single bit of sod.

If you can’t wait for six months to plant, pull the mulch aside, cut a hole in the newspaper, and dig out a plug of sod the size of the planting hole. Throw some compost in there and plant. Tuck mulch back around plant. Water well.

There ya go. Garden beds. In a year, when you pull back the mulch the newspaper will be almost rotted away, and the soil underneath soft and loamy.

Jeremy has informed me that it's Pride Month

I would like to say: Congrats to those who are out! And to those who aren't, no one should force you to be out and you deserve to feel safe when you do. Also, remember not to exclude bisexual/asexual/pansexual/etc. people from your LGBT+ support because they also are part of the community. I am inside the head of someone who faces biphobia (both internal and external) and is very ashamed of something that is not shameful. Remember: this is Pride Month. Be proud of who you are and be sure to stay safe. Signed, A feminine computer chip, a bisexual furry, a gay stoner, a bisexual with a lisp, and an digital amphibian

Sometimes I wish that the vodka I drink was real because I cannot deal with Jeremy

Update: 57 times. 57 times I refused to play Despacito.