Good Morning, Vicky.. It's Already A Month You've Been Here. Here Are Things You Accomplished:

Sebentar ya.. Aku lagi capek

(fingercrossed)

It's okay to be scared, but you can't let fear stop you.

She's my feminist icon in this week. Love her presence on Season 1&2. Gonna watch 3rd soon!

You don’t love anyone? Of course you don’t, darling. You don’t have the balls for it. To love you need courage.

Subuh2 overthinking

the problem is I'm craving for men's attention... I always see myself as a whore.

Being surrounded by men makes me feel secure and...wanted

Alongside, people who do not reciprocate my feelings are more attractive than those who do otherwise.

I'm that ungrateful girl as I'm still seeking other men (or women) while I have one who is willing to accept my true self.

the issue here lies between I need external validation and i love being the center of attention

I love it when ppl say I'm pretty, a good kisser, the goddess on the sheet, a motherly figure, smart or independent. they define my self-worth. however, it comes to my subconscious mind that - sadly - I'm attempting to fit men's conventional standards. You can guess where I lead to be? yes, that pick-me-girl type

Been aware that my childhood has shaped me into what I am today and fixing is a loooooong journey. i dont make any improvement yet. it's so fckin hard to be consistent and disciplined. see? im still struggling.

in reality, I really understand the reason why I was cheating or seeking other opportunities is to find security. my birth chart said that I can grow if I have been in a stable environment. stable here means in a secure place literally - figuratively. yet, i can confirm this is 100% accurate.

how can I create this safe place on my own? everyday, i have battles to win for

how can i be independent?

how can I stand up for myself?

how can i stay loyal and be grateful for what I have now?

do I feel enough?

Impianku

Kerja di luar negeri masih menjadi career woman

Berpakaian chic atau business woman dan memakai tas bermerek, namun bila itu bukan brand terkenal aku gak masalah

Memancarkan energi yang intimidatif namun bersahabat

Aku memilih untuk bertanggung jawab yang sudah aku mulai.

Moi

Akhir-akhir ini suka mencari scented candle yang fungsinya meningkatkan produktivitas. Kebetulan saat belanja di PIM tadi, Bath & BodyWorks sedang ada promo, harganya menjadi 290 rib.

Setelah tanya-tanya ke pramuniaga, akhirnya aku memilih varian ini. Aromanya seperti sabun Cussons dan lembut. Mungkin karena baru sehari, efek lilin inj belum begitu terasa ke produktivitas. Namun bisa aku jamin, baunya tercium hingga jarak setengah meter. Akan aku edit pos ini bila ada perubahan bau

I am that old to realize that it's okay to cry in public

Kebahagianku hari ini sesederhana mencium aroma apel di kamar mandi.