You Know, I've Been Thinking About It, And There Is Actually One Single Scenario In Which I Would Be

Romcom where Grim brings back a random beaten up bat and you take it from him. Leaving it in a box with towels and some water to see if it’ll recover by the next day…

But by the next day, the bat is nowhere to be seen. In its place is a very disgruntled looking man clad in armour, ebony hair spilling from his scalp, some locks dyed red. He’s staring up at you warily, before taking a sip out of the bowl you’ve prepared for him.

You approach him warily, poking at him with a broom. The man snorts, eyes glancing up at you with a faint amusement. He introduces himself as a vampire general, who… fled his station. Lilia Vanrouge… not that his name will be remembered.

Not anymore.

You raise an eyebrow, before mentioning that he could stay at your place… until he’s got his grip with reality back. Lilia immediately bristles, trying to show you evidence that he truly is a vampire, but you simply just shrug it off.

Oh, sharp teeth? Nice Halloween decoration.

Intense dislike of the sun? Oh well, he’s probably used to the night.

Refuses to eat any garlic? Oh, a picky eater.

Both of you settle into an odd sort of domestic life, where he’s essentially a stay-at-home… vampire. Lilia takes awhile to truly get used to his surroundings, jumping and grasping at his weapon whenever a sound is just a little too loud for his taste, pacing around whenever night falls, anxious footsteps echoing through the house.

You’ve taken to checking up on him, those nights. Fixing two mugs of steaming hot milk as you toss a blanket over his shoulders. Here, drink… and calm down. You probably didn’t know what he was going through really, but the care and concern in your eyes as you sat by him?

It warmed Lilia’s heart… more than you’ll ever know.

Gah, I love how this one turned out!❤️❤️❤️

Lilia Vanrouge: Light of my Life

Exposed LEGS??? 😡 In the middle of WINTER?????? Cover up, slut/j (His dragon claw slippers and big bow headband are so cute though 😭)

Rise and Shine!

A beacon of light burst through darkness. The curtains hadn’t been fully closed last night, letting the sun steal in, bleeding heat into Lilia's man cave--and into his eyes. He shielded his gaze and squinted into the morning rays that crept around his arm and the cracks between his fingers.

The sun had come for him, whether he wanted it to or not.

“Nngh… So bright," Lilia muttered. He flopped onto his belly and hugged his pillow against himself as if it, too, was meant to protect him from that shining star. "Morning already? I must've blacked out after that intense gaming session."

Guess I'd better get ready.

Tucking and rolling, he expertly leapt out of bed and onto the floor. A covert maneuver, one learned in his days in the military. On the field, he'd conceal himself in a bush or amid the trees--but these days, his blanket sufficed, clinging to him like a cocoon.

The distinctly burrito-shaped Lilia stuck his feet into a pair of slippers-- garishly designed to resemble a dragon's claws. With a yawn, he shuffled down the hallway and entered the washroom.

Lilia glimpsed his reflection in several tall mirrors as he passed them. All that tossing and turning had tousled his hair like a salad, slashes of magenta running into raven streaks. He grinned, playfully running a single pale finger against his pouty mouth.

I truly am the cutest, most charming pretty boy in the whole world~

Thump, thump, thump.

His reflection was unmoving. Beyond the door, coming from the corridor he had entered from, came a flight of footsteps. Far away and faint, undetectable to most.

His pointed ears perked, his interest piqued. My, it sounds like someone else is up.

Lilia's lip curled, mischief sparking in him.

He scampered to one of the vanities at the end of the washroom and climbed onto it, snuggling neatly into the nook and out of sight. It was simple to do with the blanket draped over his petite frame. From a distance, he could easily be mistaken as a mirror covered by a cloth, like some ancient relic stored away in one's attic, yet to be unearthed.

Lilia laid in wait.

The footsteps continue, progressively growing louder and louder. Then came the door creaking open. Movement. A figure coming into view, unaware of the impending scare. Head turning, calling out to nothing.

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

Now.

"BOO!!"

Lilia launched out with a ghoulish shriek, fangs bared and face contorted hideously, like a creature from a horror film. He extended his arms, throwing his blanket back. It billowed from his lightning-fast leap, a vampire's cape fluttering in the wind.

He pounced on the intruder--on you--tackling them to the floor.

You screamed, and it was music to him. Delight feathered in his chest.

What a fun reaction. They're almost as cute as I am!

"Gotcha~" Lilia poked the tip of your nose. You blinked up at him, still dazed from his loving glomp. "What brings you here to Diasomnia so early in the day, hmm? Did you perchance drop in to pay this adorable, fresh-faced lad a visit?"

"You caught me red-handed," you sighed in defeat. "I thought I could get the jump on you, but looks like my plans were foiled."

"Kufufu. You're still a few hundred years too green for that. Consider trying again in another century or two."

With a laugh, Lilia rose, helping you up as well. He looped his blanket around your back, swathing you like a child and pulled you close, your chests flush with one another's.

"There we are, up and at'm!" Lilia chirps, vigorously ruffling your head. It was left as messy as his was. "You came all this way to greet me, so I should return the favor by entertaining you while you're here."

"Y-You barely look ready yourself though," you pointed out.

"There's no reason why I can't do both! I'm an expert at multitasking!"

You stared at him, raising a brow doubtfully. For as long as you had known the fairy, Lilia had been nothing short of disorganized. The souvenirs scattered in his bedroom, the surprises he was so fond of. "Flying by the seat of his pants," as he called it. "I'll figure things out eventually... right?"

Lilia laughed softly. "I can tell by that look of yours that you don't believe me. I'll have to put all of my efforts into proving you wrong then~"

He shifted, and you moved with him, still cushioned by the blanket at your back, a sling which he controlled. An abrupt turn. You swung, Lilia did too--and you realized he was leading you in a dance.

"What does this have to do with you getting ready?" you wondered--but you didn't complain, not when your heart was fluttering like it had wings of its own.

"Why, I'm charging up for the day! It just so happens that you're my battery. If sunshine drains me, then you're the light that restores me."

"... Is that really how it works?" The question was slow and incredulous.

Lilia chuckled, sounding less like the youthful school boy before you and more like the wise sage that he was. "Cross my heart and hope to fly."

Consider: Alastor in-a-rut trope but because he's Ace it has a different effect on him than it would others. In short: he just gets super duper cuddly. Like. constant hugs and snuggles. Sucks to be you if you're his partner and you had plans. You don't anymore. Now you're snuggling. Congrats

finally done raagh

Malleus: Child of man, what's your ideal type?

MC: Fictional.

Malleus: ...

Idia: Good for us.

Malleus: What?

Idia: What?

MC: ...

MC: Idia, istg. Stop breaking the fourth wall.

*gives you another TWST edit that uses music from Epic*

🧐

dare i ask for general lilia

now who put those things on him???

lucifer morningstar x reader

CHIP ON MY SHOULDER

summary: based on the song with the same name from legally blonde the musical. the reader, an angel, driven by love, follows their partner into hell, only to face betrayal and mockery. they then encounter a mysterious and charismatic man who offers surprising insights and advice.

warnings: not necessarily a warning but gender neutral reader, no use of y/n. also the partner is gender neutral and described with they/them pronouns. use of the word pretty to describe reader.

word count: 1.03k

"How did it come to this? All I wanted was to be with them, to follow them, to be by their side. And now... I'm here." You mumble under your breath, kicking brimstone as you walk.

You walk over and sit on a broken bench, your wings are tattered and dirty. As you look up at the dark sky, you begin feeling the weight of your choices. Following someone you loved all the way down to Hell was stupid. You were blinded by how they made you feel, you followed them as they fell from Heaven despite being in good standing up there.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? An angel far from home?" A man steps out in front of you, stopping his walk.

"Look, man, whatever gross things you have to say about me being an angel, I've heard it all today. So just...forget it." You cross your arms.

"I wasn't gonna say anything gross. It's just...you- uh, look out of place. To say the very least," He tries and you finally look up to see him. He's not very tall, he's very pale but he has this nice blonde hair that keeps you looking at him. "May I sit down?"

"Go for it. It's not like I'm...high priestess of where people sit in Hell." You say tiredly.

"New here?" He asks.

"I guess. Not really. I'm not...I'm not one of you people, I'm not meant to be down here." You tell him.

"If you're in denial, that's fine but at least-"

"No, really! I didn't fall, I'm on a shitty visit," You insist. "And I know, I just said a bad word, whoop-dee-frickin'-doo."

"Why would you ever want to visit here?" He laughs.

"Love."

"What?" He turns his attention to you.

"I followed where love led me and it apparently brought me to my very own personal circle of Hell," You play with your fingers as you look ahead. "And I made a big show of it too, coming down here. Now I have to go home, hat in hand. I wish I were dead at this point."

"You've gotta be more specific, babe." He sighs.

"I came down here because my dumbass partner broke too many rules and started saying these crazy things! So, of course, I'm an idiot and I follow them down here. Instead of the tragic love story I thought I was gonna get, they go and make friends instantly and turn into a completely different person. And here I am, just someone they mock with their friends. I wanted a Greek tragedy and got...whatever the opposite is."

"Did you seriously come down here to follow 'love' of all things?" He laughs before clearing his throat and covering his mouth.

"Oh, what got you here?" You wave it off.

"I'm an angel too," He sighs and you immediately turn to face him. "I was an angel."

"But you look so different."

"I've been down here for a while."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I had this idea they didn't like about rehabilitating sinners to bring them to Heaven. I was young and I was dumb and instead of persisting and trying to convince them, I got mad and slept with a human. And then I did it again. But then I fell in love with the first human and we got sent here together. We're not together anymore, messy divorce. So I'm not a big fan of love. Love is what got me here, alone and unfulfilled. I loved her more than anything, she gave me my daughter. But this place changed her for the worst and she left both of us. I wouldn't trust love for anything."

"I'm sorry but that's highly negative. Just because you have some kind of chip on your shoulder about how love hasn't worked out for you in the past doesn't mean it can't in the future. And you didn't think you'd go down the same path as Lucifer after doing the same thing? They practically have street signs up there that say not to sleep with humans." You laugh.

"Do you even know what Lucifer looks like?" He smirks.

"No, they have no pictures up there. Why?" You laugh.

"Hold on, I've got a picture," He sighs as he reaches into his pocket, pulling out something you can't quite see fully. "This is one of him sitting with some weirdo on a bench."

Before you can fully process what he just said, he scoots the slightest bit closer, showing you a mirror with the two of you sitting together on full display.

"Oh my-" You choke, falling backwards and almost slipping off of the broken bench.

"You know, people down here aren't usually real with me because I'm King but this was a nice talk. A breath of fresh air," He smirks before standing up. "And just a warning, these people are really awful, I'm sure you haven't even met the worst of the worst. If I were you, I'd just go home and sacrifice your pride. Actually, no I wouldn't. But you probably should. That asshole who left you is an idiot; an angel as charming and steadfast as you should be cherished. This was fun."

"Wait!" You say as you lift yourself to stand beside him. "How did you...how did you get used to it down here? In case I don't feel like swallowing my pride."

"Love." He chuckles.

"Oh, you're an asshole," You point a finger at him before laughing. "I like you, Your Highness."

"Haven't heard that in a while. And drop the formalities, you've insulted me too much to not be on a first-name basis." He jokes.

"Alright, Lucifer," You say, a hint of a smile forming. "Thank you for your advice or lack thereof. I think I'll stay a while longer."

"One thing I will say is, that chip on your shoulder can be your greatest ally. Let it drive you to be stronger, and fiercer. In Hell, that's the only way to survive. Especially for an angel as resilient and honestly, as pretty as you are."