This!

An Incomplete List of Potter Family Headcanons

Harry looks like James but he has all of Lily’s facial expressions

He has her “duck and cover” temper too

And her sense of justice and her total obliviousness to the person crushing on him

Hegets his flying skills from James ofc but also his sense of humour and his loyalty

He inherits potions skills from both of them but doesn’t realise until he     suddenly no longer has Snape as a teacher

His nosiness and investigative thing comes from Lily. The way he goes about finding out these things is all James

His Defense skills come from the Potter family even though his dad was     actually better at transfiguration

He and his mum have the same “disgusted” face and he would be horrified to know that they share it with Petunia

His paternal grandmother was born and brought up in India until she was 21 - at which point she moved to England, promptly fell in love with Fleamont Potter and immediately married him bc like hell was she going to marry the racist piece of shit that her parents wanted her to

She was descended from a distant branch of the Avery family that moved to India following the British Invasion and never returned

He’s very bi.

He doesn’t notice this until he’s been married to Ginny for 10 years 

Ginny is very surprised that Harry didn’t know he was attracted to men since she’s known since he was in fourth year (more on lgbt+ in the wizarding world later)

In a world where Harry is female he discovers that he’s bi a lot earlier due to neither Cho nor Ginny being shy about the fact that they find him as     attractive as he finds them and bc Ginny is many things but all of them     are Weasley

Harry’s kids have plenty of Nanas and Grannys (Nana Andy and Nana Molly and Professor Granny Minnie and Granny ‘Gusta and Nana Cissy (when she’s feeling generous and only bc her sister begged her) and Granny Tuney (once they’re all teenagers)) but only one living Gramps: Arthur Weasley (Nanny Lily, God-Nana Alice, Grandpa James, God-Gramps Sirius and Grandfather Regulus (Kreacher would not stand for a less dignified form of address) are all commonly mentioned and talked about and their graves are all visited but none of them talk back)

There are four Potter kids: Teddy, the eldest, who had other parents first but only ever knew his Nana and his Dad and his Mum; Jamie, the second eldest, who takes after both of his namesakes in terms of theoretical mischief making but neither when it comes to practice; Al, the youngest boy who takes after his God-Gramps and immediately befriends kids as willing to blow things up as he is; and Lily-Lu, the baby of the family, who uses this status to get away with murder and is the true heir of the Marauders and the Weasley twins

Teddy gets the Marauder’s Map when he goes to Hogwarts. Jamie nicks the invisibility cloak out of Harry’s desk when he goes. Al is basically indifferent but does occasionally blackmail his siblings for use of one or the other. Lily-Lu somehow has both when she starts. No one knows how. Jamie is very irritated by this fact. She lets her brothers use them if they tell her why and ask nicely.

Teddy is rebellious and mischievous. He is also somehow both prefect and Head Boy. Teddy is also the good child. Harry looks back on Teddy’s rebellious teenage phase fondly when his other kids reach teenagerhood.

Jamie is quidditch mad. He is not above pranks but his world revolves around quidditch. Harry has vivid flashbacks to his time playing under Oliver Wood.

Al cannot be left alone. He especially cannot be left alone with any     combination of Rose, Scorpius, and Daisy. Harry despairs. He was surely not that bad when he was a teenager.

Lily is an angel. She doesn’t break rules and is always helpful without being asked doesn’t get caught. She is a terror but the only person     who’s ever caught her in wrongdoing is Uncle Neville. She does not try to lie to him again. Her parents know. That doesn’t mean they can catch her. Harry knows she didn’t get this from him.

The Potter household is always noisy and none of the kids can be left     unsupervised.

All four kids adore Kreacher. He adores them all right back and spoils them rotten half the time unless specifically told otherwise

Winky ends up as a Potter House Elf. Somehow. She isn’t as happy as she was with the Crouches but is a great deal happier than she was in Hogwarts. She’s a lot stricter with the kids than Kreacher is. But she has a soft spot for Master Al 

The Potter family has three dogs and an owl. A German Shepherd-Labrador mix called Snuffles, a brown Husky mix called Moo (he was originally called Moony but Jamie couldn’t pronounce it properly), and a black Wolfhound mix called Paddy (Al couldn’t say Padfoot and the name stuck). The owl is a tawny owl and is officially called Lord Thomas Dark Lordiness Riddle Jr Jr but only answers to Tommy (Ginny thought it was hilarious and Harry went along with it after seeing the humour. Ron, Hermione, Neville and Andromeda were horrified. Luna earnestly told them she thought it was an excellent name. No one else ever found out the origins of “Tommy”. Nearly everyone who knows goes to great lengths to keep it that way)

Teddy gets his own owl when he goes to Hogwarts. He calls her Pandora

Jamie spends an entire year trying to convince his parents that he should be able to take one of the dogs with him to Hogwarts. They point blank refuse. The last day before the express leaves he turns up in the kitchen with Harry’s enchanted Hungarian Horntail model and asks if he can take her as his pet (he’s named her Thorns the Glorious). Ginny throws her hands up and basically yells “FINE!” like a teenager

Al is not allowed a pet. He nearly killed the owl by accident with one of his experiments. He is not allowed a pet. He’s fine with this. He’d forget to feed it anyway.

Lily-Lu spends a not-insignificant amount of time trying to decide between a cat and a snake. Both of them eat rats. She eventually decides on a     part-kneazle that basically pounces on her in “Magical Menangerie”. She names her Tiger. Tiger is terrifying

Teddy is a Hufflepuff, like his first Mum. He’s a chaser like his second Mum. He has his second Dad’s temper but rarely lets it out. His first dad refused to judge people by their appearances or what other people thought and he does so too. This is something his other parents had to work at but that comes naturally to him.

He loves chocolate frogs more than almost anything.

He’s been in love with Victoire for longer than he’s known what that means

He is addressed as Mr Potter throughout his school years and the surname he uses for his Auror application is Potter. The Lupin in front is private and only used when his full name is required or if he’s in trouble

Jamie is a Gryffindor, like his parents, his biological grandparents and his namesakes. Sometimes he’s a little disappointed that he isn’t a Hufflepuff like Teddy

He’s a chaser on his house team and becomes captain in his fifth year

He always asks for Bertie Botts whenever they have sweets. He knows which ones are the nasty flavours but when his siblings are upset he’ll make sure that they only get the nice ones and he gets all the horrible ones. This never fails to make them smile.

He mocks and bullies Al quite a bit but the only time someone else tried they ended up in St Mungo’s and he was grounded for a year. He doesn’t regret this

He wants to play quidditch professionally and has always been lowkey disappointed that the Holyhead Harpies will never be an option for him

Al is a Ravenclaw. He follows Teddy and Jamie everywhere to the point that they want to scream and tie him up so he’ll stop and when he can’t follow them it’s his parents or his Nana Andy or his Nana Molly or his Gramps. His first word is “why”. This word also happens to be his     favourite word. He is very confused when he is sorted into Ravenclaw. He is the only one.

His best friend is his cousin Rose. On the Hogwarts Express he sees a small blonde boy trying to avoid upper years. “This will be my person” he decides. This boy is Scorpius Malfoy. Rose is her parent’s daughter, so when her best friend decides to adopt the strange little boy that doesn’t want to make friends, she immediately decides to befriend him too. These three befriend muggleborn Daisy Dursley, fellow Ravenclaw, approximately 6 weeks into the year. There is a very hasty and strained family reunion on the platform at the start of the Christmas hols. The Potters end up at Privet Drive for New Year (conspicuously missing a walrus-mustasched man). The relationship quickly gets less strained after the first time Daisy goes to the Potter’s house and nearly blows it up.

Unlike his siblings and their friends, Al does not make mischief when left unsupervised. Al experiments. It takes exactly one visit from Rose, Scorpius and Daisy for such visits to always be supervised. There was     fire. There were explosions. More than one person escaped harm by the skin of their teeth. No one likes to talk about it.

Experiments in the Potter, Malfoy, Granger-Weasley, and Dursley households are BANNED.

Al loves sugar quills. Victoire thinks it’s adorable. Al pointedly refuses to suck on them in her presence

Lily-Lu is in Slytherin. This surprises no one.

By the time she’s in third year she lowkey runs the dungeons. Professor Greengrass couldn’t be more proud

The Scamander twins are her best friends/loyalest minions despite being in the year below, nearly two years younger, and not in Slytherin

Her favourite sweets are ice mice. She tried to throw Jamie down the moving staircase once, when he transfigured them into real mice.

She’s been terrified of rats and mice ever since she was little when she found out that Peter Pettigrew was able to turn into one. No amount of convincing her that he was long dead ever helped

She’s the most stubborn person in the family and also unable to refuse a dare if it comes from her brothers. Teddy and Al are reasonable about this. Jamie abuses this fact mercilessly

She will continue with charades to the point of ridicule just to prove     that she can

Obi-Wan sometimes forgets that Anakin and Ahsoka are not younglings anymore.

Like, during the war, when it just started and he and Anakin were only getting used to it, Anakin would often fall asleep while he was writing reports. And Obi-Wan would just pick him up to carry him to his room and Anakin would wrap all his limbs around him and cling to him like a monkey.

When Obi-Wan picks up Ahsoka for the first time, she sprawls all over him and snores into his neck.

And he gets some side-looks at first, the clones are surprised to see such displays between their Jedi. But Obi-Wan just smiles and keeps going, shifting Anakin a little so his neck won't hurt when he wakes up.

And then he starts doing it to the clones as well.

One day he randomly found a clone sleeping in the hall and picked him up, armor and weapons and all, and brought him to the barracks. The men who were there at the time almost fainted when their General strolled in casually and asked there was their brother's bunk.

No one believes them then they later speak about it in the mess hall.

Cody almost has a heart attack the first time he sees it happen. Like, this is his superior officer, his General, the High General of the GAR and the member of the Jedi Council carrying one of his man bridal stile!

It was pretty early into the war and Cody was serving under Obi-Wan's command for only a couple of months, so he was absolutely certain he would hear at least some comment or even an order to punish the man. After all, he must have fallen asleep on duty.

But there's nothing.

Obi-Wan didn't even mention it. He just smiled at the clone the next time he saw him and asked if he was getting enough sleep now.

It just keeps happening. The war is ruthless, after all.

Obi-Wan carries Anakin, Ahsoka and the clones all around the ship to get them to comfortable sleeping places. Everyone get used to it fast. Some clones even make it a competition to fall asleep in the weirdest places to see if Obi-Wan would find them.

He does, every time.

The clones get comfortable around Obi-Wan very fast, seeing that he's not exactly what the Kaminoans promised them the Jedi would be. Sure, he's calm and wise and very nice and absolutely terrifying with his lightsaber but he's also kind and warm and friendly. They joke with him, even tease him. He smiles and returns the favor. And then Wooley accidently calls Obi-Wan 'Dad' after receiving an order.

Anakin thinks it's hilarious and teases them both. Until Obi-Wan reminds him how he called Master Yoda 'Grandpa'.

That shuts him up.

But soon after, Obi-Wan randomly drops adoption papers on the table in the middle of the briefing and says that he signed them already and everyone who wants can do the same, they just need to write their name in and it's done.

That's how he adopts the whole 212th except Cody, who looks him dead in the eye and asks him out.

He says yes.

And since the 212th now are considered Stewjoni, the rest of the clones get the citizenship automatically as they're all family.

Anakin sulks and doesn't talk to Obi-Wan for a week until a very confused Ahsoka asks him why.

"No, I'm very glad that our men have rights now, but he didn't even ask me if I wanted to be adopted too! I didn't even know the Jedi were allowed to do it."

"But he adopted you like, ten years ago?"

"WHAT"

"Oh, he asked me a few weeks after I became your Padawan if I wanted to become your sister too. I said yes, by the way."

Which leads to this-

"Why didn't you tell me you adopted me!"

"But I told you, remember, after our second swimming lesson?"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING"

I didn’t mean to screenshot her right at this moment, but she’s so darn cute here. Caption: Lana Beniko: I knew you were alive. I felt it.

If Janet from The Good Place can wear dresses and have long hair and use she/her pronouns and not be a girl, so can you!

We love our space hamster

I don’t know why everyone is complaining about what Danny did to King’s Landing. If someone killed my child and best friend, after I had just lost another child. I would have done the exact same thing. Was it right, no. But I know why she did it.

Cursed mostly crack au nonsense.

The real reason Palpatine hates Obi-wan so much is Not because he's the Master of the Chosen One™ and therefore in the way of his plans. Oh no.

Sheev Palpatine hates Obi-wan because Obi-wan turned him down when he asked him on a date. Sheev was like 'cute redhead that can hold an intelligent and scathing conversation. Score'. He thinks they'll go on a few dates and as a bonus he can convince Obi-wan to go Dark.

But Obi-wan always gets 'weird old man' vibes from him and politely declines.

Of course Palpatine is offended that Obi-wan turned him down. Hes a catch. Anyone would be flattered to go on a date with him. How dare he! What do you mean he's fucked the Organas?? What do they have that i dont?!

So starts the long passive aggressive murder attempts.

Except. Every once in a while Palpatine tries to shoot his shot again. Its a matter of pride. He hints that maybe these assassins will go away if Obi-wan agrees to go on a date with him.

Obi-wan is like 'ah. Youre one of Those types' and doubles down on declining Palpatines date invites. Not once does it occur to him to Tell Anybody what Palpatine is doing.

This continues for a Long time. Then, midway through the war Padme pulls Anakin to the side and asks very politely if Anakin would talk to his good friend Palpatine about leaving Obi-wan alone. Anakin, having had no idea anything was going on, asks wtf shes talking about. So padme explains that during one of her and Obi-wans friendly bitching Tea dates that Obi-wan let slip that the Chancellor was trying to pressure him into a relationship by using his position of power over the republic, the Jedi, and Anakin himself. Obi-wan usually wouldnt have said anything but one of the assassins shot at one of his men instead of him and thats 'a step too far' and Obi-wan is a sleep deprived irritated mess.

Anakin of course goes a little unhinged at this information. No one threatens his brother-dad like that. So he goes to confront Palpatine, because maybe it's been a misunderstanding, but maybe it hasn't been.

So he confronts Palpatine, who doesn't deny it and instead makes his biggest mistake. He asks anakin to convince Obi-wan to agree. The 'Or Else' isn't said, it isn't even really implied, but Anakin hears it anyway. And he remembers what that kind of thing means on Tatooine.

Anakin goes even more unhinged. Theres a misunderstanding between Anakin and Palpatine where Palpatine thinks Anakin has figured him out as a sith but Anakin just thinks he's a predator. It turns into a fight.

There are explosions and saber duels and lightening.

When the dust clears Palpatine is dead and Anakin has curled himself around Obi-wan like 'its okay, he's dead now. He can't threaten you ever again'. Obi-wan is like 'thank you. I love you. But wut?'.

Both are sent off on a long vacation. Anakin because he was being groomed by a Sith lord and because the stress from the war has clearly caused something to snap. Obi-wan because he was being romantically pursued by a Sith Lord, the stress from the war, and because Anakin wont let him out of his sight.

Of course Ahsoka and the 212th and 501st go with them. Padme stays behind to help girlboss the Senate into getting their shit together.

Cody is a little salty he didn't get a chance to kick Palpatine in the dick (Its also a codywan au), but he claps Anakin on the shoulder and goes 'Good job son'. Anakin cries.

I think, therefore I am (exhausted)

every friend group should include... (insp.)