Canon: This Is How The Story Goes

Potter Family Headcanons (Continued)

Ginny is a loud parent. She grew up with 6 brothers in a house that was never quiet. She is loud. Her children are loud. 

There is always some sort of shouting going on in the Potter Family Household. Even if no one’s angry or upset. They’ll have conversations whilst on different floors. Or raise their voices because they’re excited. The only time the house is quiet is when no one is there or absolutely everyone is asleep.

The dogs love this. They too will shout at their favourite humans if they want scratches or to play.

Harry loves this too. He is also the quietest person in the house. 

He never raises his voice. Ever. If Harry is raising his voice everyone shuts up and listens.

This carries over to his work in the Auror Office too.

He’s the quietest-spoken Head Auror in living memory. He is also one of the most effective.

The Potter kids are very well-trained in the practise of not talking back to Mum. 

But it’s when they’re in trouble with their Dad that everyone freaks out.

Harry doesn’t get mad. Harry gets disappointed. Everyone agrees that this is ten times worse than Mum’s shouting.

Harry and Ginny don’t fight with each other often but when they do it’s always over something petty and tends towards the explosive. It usually ends in a cold war that lasts until one of them apologises

They take turns in apologising first

Every single Potter child has at one point tried to refer to Harry and Ginny’s various misadventures, rule-breaking and/or that time they committed treason/a crime to get out of trouble

This strategy has never once worked 

Harry and Ginny have lived together since they both graduated Hogwarts

Andromeda has lived with Harry even longer

She moved in with him with baby Teddy right after the war ended. Her house was empty and full of memories. So was his. She needed help with Teddy and liked having someone else to take care of. He needed someone that would team up with Kreacher and force him to take a break when he got tunnel-vision. 

This arrangement was intended to be temporary. Andy never moved out.

She was very happy to be de-facto grandmother and go-to babysitter to all the Potter children (she may have cried when she realised)

Molly and Arthur Weasley babysit as well of course, but they have 9 other grandchildren besides and everyone understands without talking about it that Andy only really has the Potters.

The Potters actually have two houses. They lived in Number 12 until Lily-Lu was born and they realised that with 3 small young children and 1 larger but still young child (not to mention the three dogs) they needed more outdoor space

They found an old farmhouse cottage with an attached barn that they renovated to be livable (after Grimmauld Place it was easy - especially with Kreacher and Winky’s help)

This house was called “Firedrake Cottage” when they bought it.

It took less than 3 weeks for the kids to start referring to it as “Dragon House” and Number 12 as “Star House”

They use these names so often that Harry and Ginny change the floo connection between the houses to accept these as destinations

It becomes so common that Harry accidentally tries to floo to “Dragon House” from the office and gets thrown out of the floo violently

NO ONE lets him forget it

This actually happens more than once

Ginny only does this once before contacting Percy and insisting that he change the official floo addresses 

She fails to inform Harry of this

He spends 3 months apparating to and from work before being confident enough that he won’t get the floo address wrong

Teddy’s first word was “Nana”. She remains his favourite person to this day.

She’s also the only person he goes to for romantic advice, his parents, aunts, and uncles all being hopeless in that regard

Nana Andy is not much better but absolutely no one ever tells him this

He calls Harry “Dada” for the first time less than 5 minutes after he first says “Nana”

Harry cries

Ginny also quickly ends up being “Mama”

This freaks her out for exactly 30 seconds until Teddy starts crying because she’s not picking him up. She very quickly adjusts because dear Merlin he’s loud when he’s upset and she never can stand hearing him cry

He’s enrolled in every muggle primary school after the first as “Potter” because after the first 6 times Harry has to correct the teachers and the other parents about calling him “Mr Lupin” despite the fact that Teddy looks like his son and calls him “Daddy” he nearly has a breakdown (it’s been nearly 4 ½ years since the war ended but sometimes it hits him so hard that he can’t breathe) 

Teddy is 4 when Harry and Ginny sit him down to explain that they’re not actually his parents. He is inconsolable until they reassure him that they’ve always loved him like a son. Neither will admit how touched they were when he asked if he could still call them “Daddy” and “Mummy”. The answer is “yes” of course

Teddy is 6 when James is born. He spends the last 2 months of Ginny’s pregnancy terrified that his parents won’t need him anymore, despite all of their reassurances. It isn’t until James is born and they introduce him to his “big brother” that it sinks in that he isn’t being replaced.

2 weeks into his first year at Hogwarts Teddy breaks into his Professor Granny Minnie’s office (he shouts different names from the War Memorial until the Gargoyle opens) and begs her to change his name on the registers to “Potter”. She does so without asking why. She’s seen more than one child go through these halls with a name that hurts, she no longer asks for a reason.

He’s nearly 14 when he sits his parents and his Nana down and explains that even though he knows they’re not biologically his, Harry and Ginny are the only parents he’s ever known, and he wants that to be recognised by everyone, not just people who know him. He’s tired of being “Lupin” every time the anniversaries roll around. He loves the man who gave him the name in an abstract way and he knows his Dad misses him but he wants people to stop seeing the dead when they look at him and start seeing him (afterwards Harry takes him aside and tells him about growing up as an orphan and constantly getting told he looks like his father with his mother’s eyes and how there were times when he wondered if that was all anyone ever saw when they looked at him)

He’s 9 when he realises he’s actually a girl sometimes. He still uses he/him pronouns all the time because he’s never felt like they don’t suit him. His parents take it in stride when he tells them and his Nana tells him that his bio-Mum was exactly the same way but with female pronouns

He sometimes refers to himself as a Black when they’re in Star House. He doesn’t really feel like one but it always makes his Nana smile

He’s always known without being told that he’ll inherit the Headship of the Black Family and all that that entails when Harry dies. He doesn’t like to think about it

When he becomes an Auror his mentor is Lavender Brown

He doesn’t understand why everyone is so scared of her because Auntie Lav-Lav has been a staple in his life since he was 6

This lasts until the first time he witnesses her make someone cry and his Dad has to interfere to get her to back off. 

He’s Jamie’s favourite person in the world

This is thrilling for the first 6 months. Then it becomes the most annoying thing in the world

He decides pretty early on that he wants to adopt. Tori agrees to this pretty quickly after he tells her but insists that they have multiple children

They end up being foster parents for magical orphans and children from abusive homes. They don’t get to keep all of them but every child that doesn’t have decent other family becomes theirs. 

They do end up having 2 children that are biologically theirs. Both pregnancies were accidental. 

Teddy and Tori do not differentiate between any of their children. They are all theirs after all

All of their children get to choose what surname they would like to use when they go to Hogwarts. 

Jamie is inseparable from his cousins Fred and Louis practically from birth 

By the time they can walk this is very difficult for Teddy because he cannot go anywhere without tripping over three toddlers

And he doesn’t have the best balance in the first place

Jamie falls for a muggleborn that ends up in Hufflepuff but he’s sure should have been Slytherin

The muggleborn is not shy about the fact that he hates strongly dislikes Jamie

They end up married anyway (somewhere in heaven James Potter and Sirius Black are laughing) (history has a funny way of repeating itself)

No one loves their siblings more than Jamie Potter loves his brothers and sister

He will fight anyone that disagrees

Also anyone that upsets them

Also that one guy that insulted Lily-Lu behind her back and then made a vulgar comment about wanting to fuck her. He learned to respect women quickly (he’s lucky it was Jamie that taught him and not one of his siblings. Teddy is a scary good dueler and Lily-Lu is just frightening. Al is inventive)

Al doesn’t actually know that his new friend Daisy is his second cousin until he gets to Platform 9 ¾ at the start of the Christmas Hols

There is no Potter that can be left unsupervised. Ever. 

Al might not be as quidditch mad as his brother but all of the Weasley cousins can play

He and Rose are a particularly unbeatable pair of Beaters (Scorpius isn’t a half bad Keeper)

Al’s best subject is potions. To literally no one’s surprise he becomes a Potion’s Master (his siblings are surprised that it takes nearly 4 years after his Mastery to blow something up badly enough that it destroys his lab)

He fully lives up to this part of the Potter legacy (somewhere his great-grandfather Monty is ridiculously proud. Severus Snape is turning in his grave)

In much the same way that everything else in his life comes as a surprise to him, Al is the last person to find out he’s dating Frankie Longbottom

True to form he finds out when Rose asks him what their plans are for their second anniversary

He panics and finds out that literally everyone else including Frankie, his siblings and both of their parents thought they were dating (spoiler alert: they are dating, he just somehow never noticed)

Lily-Lu manages to be more dangerous with a wand than her mother, biological grandparents, and her godmother put together

She’s far more interested in politics and law than she is in dueling though (there is a not insignificant number of people who are very very grateful for this fact)

She plays seeker on her house team

There was an Incident in one match where the other seeker saw her flying towards him and promptly flew in the other direction as fast as he could. Neither would share why. (He was harassing Violet Brown. Lily does not put up with such shit. She makes this fact known. He regrets his actions very much)

Her favourite person is her godmother, Auntie Lav-Lav. 

This is unrelated to the fact that Lavender Brown is the definition of the phrase “steel fist in a lacy glove” and may or may not have something to do with the fact that Lavender Brown is the first werewolf Auror, maintains one of the highest solve rates in the DMLE, (second only to her Dad and Aunt Susan) and puts up with no one’s shit

Lily-Lu wants to be Lavender Brown when she grows up

She doesn’t marry but the Prophet reports that she spends a suspicious amount of time with the Zabini Heir – notorious flirt and famous for being born out of wedlock to two parents in a constant on again off again relationship

Harry prays that this is just a rumour

Ginny just hopes she gets more grandbabies out of it

Lily-Lu not getting married is mostly unrelated to the fact that Jamie bet her that she wouldn’t manage to be the last DA kid to get married (Jamie already knew at the time that Benny Jordan was aroace and had already decided to get married never when he could just work with dragons instead)

At this point she’s persisting out of sheer spite

for the sharing a bed prompts, 35 and Malvie? (or whoever you feel inspired to write!)

Absolutely! Thanks for the ask, Anon!

35. “I wanna be big spoon this time.” “But you’re tiny.”

Mal bites down on her lip as hard as she can, trying her best to stifle the giggle buried in her throat. She swats the relentless fingers digging into her side, ones with pretty, long red fingernails that only make the tickling feel even more merciless with every deliberate jab.

"Eves, stop it already!" Mal gasps, grabbing at the girl's wrists and shoving them behind her. “Cease, desist! Uncle!”

Evie pulls back long enough so Mal can roll over and face her. She’s gasping deeply, her laughter coming out in breathless wheezes, and Mal can’t stop herself from smiling a little at the sight of Evie’s brightly flushed cheeks and wide smile.

“Ok, ok, have you had your fun now?” Mal quips. Evie nods silently, still trying to catch her breath. Mal pulls at one of her hands, bringing it close to her chest and stroking it lightly with her thumb.

“You know, if I didn’t love you so much Princess, that sense of humor of yours could get you in some big trouble.”

“Oh come on, Mal,” Evie whines, leaning in to peck her lips lightly. “I was just having a little fun. Besides, your skin is so soft, it’s hard to resist a little tickle when I’m hugging you like that.”

Mal rolls her eyes at that, and Evie bursts another giggle as she buries her face into her girlfriend’s neck, her nose scrunching as purple strands brush her skin.

“Whatever. Then it’s my turn next. You know, you’ve got soft skin too, Eves.”

She nudges in a little with her nose, letting it graze Evie’s jaw and prompting more giggles. Evie pulls back then, eyeing Mal and perking a curious brow.

“So, you’re saying you want to be the big spoon, then?”

Evie smirks when Mal nods back vigorously, planting a hand just over Mal’s shoulder so she can lift herself up. She hovers over Mal and leans in close, letting their noses just barely touch.

“But, babe,” she coos, smiling wide when Mal snorts at her nasally tone. “You’re...tiny.”

“What?!” Mal’s eyes blow wide with shock, and Evie lets out a quiet chuckle as she boops Mal’s nose with her finger.

“Oh stop, you know you’re still the biggest baddie at this school,” Evie scoffs, letting her hand cup Mal’s cheek. “You’re just, the littlest...biggest baddie, too. And that’s not a bad thing!”

Mal thrusts her hips up, knocking Evie back in a fit of laughter. She’s quick to overtake the bluenette, swinging a leg over her hips to straddle her and taking her wrists in both hands.

“You’d going to pay for that, princess,” she growls lightly, and dips down to pepper kisses up and down Evie’s face and neck. The girl’s laughter comes in short bursts as she gasps for air under Mal’s assault, bucking half-heartedly as if she’s trying to throw Mal off of her. But not really.

“Fine, you win!” Evie groans, whipping her head from side to side until Mal finally relents and sits back up. She doesn’t let go of Evie’s wrists though, and just continues to stare down at her, grinning triumphantly.

“I win? So, I get to be big spoon?” she declares as she lets herself flop to Evie’s side.

“Yes,” Evie snickers, turning her body to face Mal. “You can be my littlest...biggest spoon.”

Mal groans and smacks a hand to her face, dragging it down to fix a glare at Evie’s too-proud smirk.

“Fuck, you’re lucky you’re so cute, you know that?”

Evie hums happily, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Mal’s lips.

“Hm, yes. I’m lucky you’re mine, too.”

Mal sighs and reaches out to stroke her fingers through Evie’s soft blue strands.

“You know just what to say to get yourself out of trouble, don’t you?”

“Yep.” Evie admits, making sure to pop her p. “You taught me well, big baddie.”

Mal chuckles and shoves at her shoulder, pushing forcefully to turn Evie back around. When her back is to Mal, she makes a show of slinging an arm and leg over Evie’s body, pulling her close and kissing her cheek from behind.

“That’s big spoon to you, Eves.”

Send me an ask!

i like my coffee how i like my coffee—i like my coffee :- )

Okay, okay so I’m thinking of an au mashup in which Obi Wan gets de-aged in the middle of the clone wars, except Obi Wan is now at the age when his prophetic visions and slightly offputting nature were at they’re height.

I tend to follow the belief, in Seer!Obi wan fics, that Yoda took one look at the 8 year old Obi Wan who keeps telling him increasingly creepy little snippets of his future and the looked at Sifo-Dyas rocking back and forth in the corner doodling the same face over and over, with slight variations, muttering insanities as Dooku tries to lure him out with a trail of biscuits and tea, and just went. No. Absolutely not. Not doing this again. And the council at the time just sort of agreed to put a mental block in place to stop Obi Wan from growing up into Sifo-Dyas Junior.

This is was all fine and dandy, until Obi Wan is suddenly 7 again without this block in place and planets away from anyone capable of rebuilding it again. Force forbid they allow Skywalker a go at it.

Now there’s an unsettling redheaded child making very worrying, very creepy comments.

Anakin: awww, aren’t you a cute!!!

Baby!Obi-Wan: Your hands drip with the blood of trillions, Your arrogance veils the sins you wish not to confront, Your decrepit body shall live on long past your own death, in a cage of its own making.

Anakin: : - 0

Baby!Obi-Wan: but thank you : - )

Ahsoka and Rex are very reluctant to be near the baby after he tells them how everyone they love will die and they shall continue on, surrounded but alone all the same.

Cody and the 212th choose to endure the comments on how they will die enslaved, put down by the masters that created them, deprived of personhood and kindness because creepy baby or not, that’s they’re general right there, they can figure all the freakiness out after the they’ve comforted the child. (They are immensely worried over this, though)

It’s not like Obi wan is enjoying this either. He doesn’t want to predict all this, it won’t stop!

Dooku, on the other hand is thrilled. He kind of regrets not keeping his lover Sifo-Dyas around as his own personal fortune cookie machine / Magic 8 ball. Not cause he misses him or anything. Not at all. He just thinks the tactical advantage would be wonderful! (This is slightly ignorant of how unstable and harmful Sifo’s visions were) To have his Grandpadawan back in this impressionable, powerful state would also be wonderful!

He changes his mind after about 10 minutes with said grandpadawan.

He wants the adult one back please. The 7 year old is dissecting his soul and telling him how pointless his life decisions have been :-(

Shit really hits the fan when baby!Obi-Wan accidentally bumps into Sheev.

Obi wan returns to adult form in a galaxy that sort of resembles this

He can’t do much complaining though considering it was him that caused this.

this is so tender

Fanfiction that I might get around to some day

This is the early stages of the war and Cody has just been assigned to General Obi-Wan and his padawan. Its supposed to be an amazing assignment that all the other clone officers were super jealous of but as soon as Cody touched down on the newly launched Negotiator he is faced with some Issues. Mainly having to deal with his super not at all appropriate crush for his General and said General's super not at all jealous brat.

Cody is a grown adult (technically) and physical he's five or six years older than Anakin at this point. He knows he shouldn't be petty. But this brat keeps pushing his buttons. Whenever they're in the same room, Anakin hisses at him. The other day someone messed with the straps on Cody's armor and all his plating fell off during a meeting with the high council. Someone put salt in his blaster's charging port. Cody wants so badly to act childish back and pull an equally shitty prank but then he looks over at his General (who practically breathes maturity, refinement and kindness) and decides that giving that little shit-bird of a padawan a lesson might not be worth it if he makes Obi-Wan upset-or if he looses his job but he doubts that will happen.

This goes on for a whilst Cody suffers in silence. The other commanders are convinced their vod deserves a metal for how much he has to put up with. It looks like this is going to keep going on until after Anakin is knighted and given his own ship to command. But then Cody discovers a solution. It's been a really long battle, he's tired and probably a little delirious so when there's no reason why that when ship's officers are all convened for a meeting, Cody decides to tell his General that he looks really good fighting alongside the vode. It's a quiet remark, meant only for Obi-Wan to hear. Cody's General smiles gently, shooting back another equally flirty remark. And then some low ranking admiral asks Obi-Wan a question and they turn back to their original conversation.

But Anakin must have overheard, how could he not? He's always standing so close to Obi-Wan. When Cody looks over the padawan's face is as white as a sheet and quickly turning a gross looking red. He's about to ask Anakin if he's alright, maybe apologize. But then he gets an awful, awful idea.

And that's what the Negotiator would look like for the next couple of months. Anakin spends his free time playing borderline cruel pranks on his clone commander which prompts Cody to start publicly flirting with Obi-Wan. As the pranks get more aggressive so does the flirting until Cody out right slaps his generals ass in the middle of a battle. All the other clones are convinced they're about to see Anakin die of shock. When Anakin is finally promoted to the rank of jedi knight and given his own battalion everyone's convinced the rivalry will stop. Until one day right before the events of the clone wars tv takes place and Anakin gets his own padawan, he pays a visit to Obi-Wan after a battle. No one can find the General or his Commander anywhere. But at some point during the battle talks, Anakin walks in looking ill, following right behind him is Obi-Wan and Cody. They're both smirking, completely covered in love bites.

ThEReS No PoSsIbLe sCeNaRio wHeRe KaRa cOuLd hAvE tOlD LeNa AnD iT dIDnT eNd BaDLy

me, pulling up 500 fics from aO3:

Warrior Nun fandom, the sisters of the OCS wear something similar to a hakama for their battle gear. It’s not a skirt. I noticed this when Beatrice was fighting the guards at Arq Tech.

The story of a generation comes to an end. Watch the #D23Expo Special Look for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. See the film in theaters on December 20. (via @starwars on twitter)

I don’t know why everyone is complaining about what Danny did to King’s Landing. If someone killed my child and best friend, after I had just lost another child. I would have done the exact same thing. Was it right, no. But I know why she did it.