The Feminine Urge To Overthrow The Fucking Government

nobody:

me at midnight on august 1st:

ive been using my ipad for 5 years and its in a deplorable state. recently i managed to make a bloody hole in it (its still working idk how) so i decided to fix it by putting a pretty washi tape over it

AUGUST IS AT AN END. FALL IS COMING. THE WITCH IN ME HAS RISEN *makes spooky noises*

hate it when people tell me calm down bro my 'jiya' is extremely 'beqarar'

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

happy 21st of september people

a blog: *follows me*

me, an aged monarch lounging on my fur-strewn throne, gesturing for my servant to bring me my monacle: Bring them here! Bring them here, I say. Let me look at them.

guards: *drag the unwitting blog before me*

me, peering intently at the new blog and poking them with my scepter: Is this a real person? Hmm? What have you to say for yourself? What are your fandoms? Your interests? Speak up, these old ears aren’t what they used to be.

guards, tentatively: they do seem to be a real person, sire. We found them in possession of several memes and a fandom rant.

me, subsiding back into my sumptuous furs and waving them away: most extraordinary. It has been an age since there was a real person, but just as well, the dungeons have been overflowing with those tacky pornbots. This newcomer may remain in my domain. Make them welcome. And fetch me a quill! I feel a ficlet coming on…

Kafka wrote “it would be better if you didn't come, since you'd only have to leave again” but our Faraz wrote “ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa, aa phir se mujhe chor ke jane ke liye aa”

as a brown child, i can say sarcasm is in my veins.

as well as curry.