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The Love Witch

Love me…love me…love me…love me…

That’s what Elaine, love witch, wants and I’ll see what I can do. I haven’t exactly taken any of her potions, that I know of, so I’ll have to settle on my usual fancy beer to get myself that liquid courage. Deity knows I’m not the smoothest person in town.

My original post: The Love Witch

Tromeo and Juliet

This movie comes off the way Shakespeare haters feel when they’re forced to endure Shakespeare in general. It’s a movie that’s loosely based on Willy Shakes’ story “Romeo and Juliet”, though parts of me want to say it’s as loosely based, as Juliet’s dad is not a loose cannon. So it’s generally pretty on. He’s not right in the head.

My original post: Tromeo and Juliet

Tom: What's he doin?

Droz: He's finishing his senior thesis. Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV.

Tom: That's his thesis?

Droz: Yes! That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit.

THE CROW (1994) dir. Alex Proyas

Keanu Reeves' modern appearance + Keanu's acting in 1992's "Bram Stoker's Dracula" =

From what I can surmise, Blake Thorne, aka Hulk Hogan with bad hair, made his money off of making other people feel like physical shit. Say your prayers, eat your vitamins…eat your heart out. At least in the form of Thorne, he’s more like eat my mass maker supplement. Despite knowing he’s got the build of a guy that can stop an ice cream truck dead in its tracks just by pulling on an attached rope, he’s never actually satisfied with his picture on his own products. I digress.

My original post: Santa with Muscles

2012: Ice Age

Calling “2012: Ice Age” a movie is considered illegal in some states, but knowing that it’s from The Asylum renders all illegality null and void in the first place, so we’re good there.

My original post: 2012: Ice Age

Tonight's viewing.

Bio-dome

I'm going to be completely honest with, you, dearest reader. I’m not sure who failed who more. Bud Mackentosh and Doyle Johnson to society, or society to Bud and Doyle? Oh, don’t be mislead, in Bio-Dome they saved the day, re-established homeostasis to Bio-Dome Mall, and mostly stayed faithful to their girls outside the trouble bubble, but consider our modern world that has come since.

My original post: Bio-dome