Boy Tinkerer That Likes To Take Things Apart To Investigate How They Work But Almost Never Remembers

beep boop

Me when high

these are fun looking

🥺👉👈

I think we need more love for Ethernet cables around here. I TRULY think we do.

Come on, you can take both ends of a cable and jam them into both of the Ethernet ports a robot has and see her immediately get stuck in a network loop. Hear her fans start working three times as hard. Kick her off any wireless Internet she may have had, so she can't access any of her databases except what's installed. Even that's slow going, just because of how much energy the network loop is making.

Her firewalls and security measures would jam up and maybe even crash, from how much information it thinks it needs to scan. Immediate robot dumbification device, essentially.

This might not work very well on newer models, and you might get scolded on trying to make her networks loop like that, but on the models that don't have network management... you could really have some fun and wreak some havoc too.

Hmm... what a pretty piece of machinery, such a shame you're having all these issues. Let's get you on the table, yeah? There we go, such a good girl. Hmm. You're overheating. Is there an issue with your cooling system now too, or are you just that easy to fluster? Silence? I thought so. Alright, on with the diagnostic. That's why you're here, isn't it? Mmm. Alright, then let's get started. The cable? This one? Oh, it's just to make sure your software is alright, nothing to worry about. What am I typing? Oh.. I found... a problem! Yeah, a problem. That's all. Oh, you're feeling... off? Interesting. Must just be from the... bug.... getting fixed. You'll feel better soon, I'm sure. Now let's get these pesky legs off and see what's inside, yeah? Good girl.

clink clank clunk

There it is! I found the issue. See this bit of metal? See the scuff marks? Yeah, it's been rubbing up against your other gears and bits and bobs and such. Easy fix. But I am *awfully* concerned about the sound your left arm is making. What sound? What sound? You don't hear it? Here, I'll just pop it off real quick and take a peek, okay?

click, clink, clank

Hmm..... found it! Some gears grinding in an unpleasant way, that's all. A little oil should fix that right up! Why are you still hooked up to the computer? It's still... running software checks, yeah... software checks, darling. Are you feeling any better than before? Hmm, still feeing funny? What kind of funny? Judging by the squirming, I think I know exactly what kind. Let's take care of that, shall we?

having absolutely no gender dysphoria but crippling species dysphoria is so weird. fuck am i supposed to do about being a computer.

When I first met her, she only knew one word: “help”, uttered in a dozen different voices, with a dozen different meanings. It was the only common word she could parse among all those she had encountered in that dark dreary ruin. She had cycled through each audio file steadily, approaching me with the deliberate gentleness of someone trying not to startle an injured bird. “Help… Help!!… help…”

The tenth word she learned was “tomorrow”. Every day I told her, “tomorrow I will return.” I don’t think she had ever seen the sun, but every time I scaled the steep cliffs, she was waiting for me at the bottom.

The fiftieth word she learned was my name. I jumped when I heard it uttered in my own voice, snipped from my own introduction days before. But she laid a cold metal claw on my shoulder and repeated it, lights flashing in the way I would eventually learn indicated her joy.

The hundredth word she learned was “home”. My tiny apartment was no place for technology like her. I withdrew all my savings and bought out a garage on the edge of the city. As I scaled thick ropes out of her ruin, carrying her on my shoulders like an oversized backpack, I told her again and again, “I’m taking you home. Home.” And she coiled her limbs around my waist and buzzed gently.

It was in this garage that her vocabulary exploded. TV personalities, actors and actresses, even random strangers - she picked and chose from the voices of the whole world, sifting through hours of footage and tapping into radio calls to find her favorite ways to speak. It was also here that she taught me a word for the first time; as I was getting my thin mattress ready for bed, she craned her long neck down and intoned, “I… love… You.”

This unit is overdue for refilling its special Estradiol tanks and keeps throwing errors and this is effecting all of its other systems.

Unit intends to bother its partner until tanks are refilled, as they normally perform this maintenance.

Robot disabilities. Robot who charges slowly and loses power incredibly fast and is always tired. Robot with malfunctioning lenses and can’t process visual information properly. Robot that can’t process anything too large and at a fast rate or else they’ll shut down. Robot with limbs screwed on too loose/just can’t attach correctly, so if they’re not careful they fall out. Robot disabilities,,,

>Nothing feels quite the same as getting back to my owner, having my batteries recharged to full, compressed air blowing all my dust out, a warm cloth to clean my hydraulics, joints oiled, hard drive defragged, some shine on my casing. Makes me feel so loved <3