Main for @treflev because we know tumblr hates sideblogs yet I still messed up
140 posts
Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.
My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?
some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.
Blue Mosque - Istanbul, Turkey.
here's a bunch of spongebob titlecards i hoarded
worrying is like worshipping the problem
worrying is like worshipping the problem
You need to draw and make art or else all the images will stay in your head and you'll get sick
You need to draw and make art or else all the images will stay in your head and you'll get sick
Badgers and coyotes hunt together. It's a thing. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service explains that “studies have shown that this unusual relationship is beneficial for both species. The coyote can chase down prey if it runs and the badger can dig after prey if it heads underground into its burrow systems.”
how’s that house that raised you?
ID: A youtube comment with 11 likes by Niceone, it says "I've lived 46 years without knowing this. How nice of life to save some of the best bites for later." End ID.
Normally, people tend to get frustrated, even jokingly, if they miss out on something. This comment was on a song from 1974 and it made me smile quite much. Simply appreciative. Like a dessert after dinner.
ID: A youtube comment with 11 likes by Niceone, it says "I've lived 46 years without knowing this. How nice of life to save some of the best bites for later." End ID.
Normally, people tend to get frustrated, even jokingly, if they miss out on something. This comment was on a song from 1974 and it made me smile quite much. Simply appreciative. Like a dessert after dinner.
i drunkenly scheduled a friendly brawl with an acquaintance of mine and we both completely forgot about it. that is until we were sitting next to each other in class and both of us get google calendar alert that reads VIOLENCE AGAINST LEW i about lost my fucking mind. what do you mean violence against me.
and then i fucking remembered i completely shitfaced told him to send me an invite to the brawl and even more that i insisted to type something into the notes of the meeting to make it look "less worse" and he opens the invite and it just says PREMEDITATED. most sinister calendar event ever created i laughed so hard i cried
surely the conses wont quence
I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either
my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.
i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.
point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.
i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.
i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.
i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.
(i think i was...six?)
anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.
(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)
so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?
so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.
the compost pile was full of worms.
and she told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and i would go to heaven, and i would be able to talk to the worms, and i would be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident out of excessive Love, and that they would forgive me, because worms have six hearts and no malice.
at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.
and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.
but because she loved me.
My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.
kensyouen_Y
Kroj z Podještědí.
Není zrovna šťastná, že na ni hledíte.
(🇬🇧 Folk dress from the Podještědí region.
She's not very thrilled about being looked at.)
Antarctic explorers’ drawings of penguins
Robert Falcon Scott. Hilarious. 7/10 for the first one because he is so friendly, 5/10 for the second.
Ernest Shackleton. What an angular & compact little guy. 5/10
Edward Adrian Wilson. Shut the fuck up Bill, we know you’re an incredible artist. 10/10, obviously
George Marston. I mean that’s a solid penguin right there. 8/10
Frank Worsley. Oh Wuzzles…..the composition of this is stellar. Wuzzpeng you will always be famous 9/10.
Apsley Cherry-Garrard. The cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, every time I lay eyes on it I tear up. I fully acknowledge my bias but 11/10.
Antarctic explorers’ drawings of penguins
Robert Falcon Scott. Hilarious. 7/10 for the first one because he is so friendly, 5/10 for the second.
Ernest Shackleton. What an angular & compact little guy. 5/10
Edward Adrian Wilson. Shut the fuck up Bill, we know you’re an incredible artist. 10/10, obviously
George Marston. I mean that’s a solid penguin right there. 8/10
Frank Worsley. Oh Wuzzles…..the composition of this is stellar. Wuzzpeng you will always be famous 9/10.
Apsley Cherry-Garrard. The cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, every time I lay eyes on it I tear up. I fully acknowledge my bias but 11/10.
What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?
burning text gif maker
heart locket gif maker
minecraft advancement maker
minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags
windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)
FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)
image to 3d effect gif
vaporwave image generator
microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)
you're welcome
😂😂😂
😂😂😂
the most compelling thing a guy can ever say is to another guy and it's "i wish you were a girl" . like record scratch. wow the implications that this phrase has. i think it needs its own bechdel test