So Close! The Correct Answer Was "I Love You Most".

i'm losing my mind. in the good way this time

every day i mourn mother mother / lemon demon / will wood being disregarded as "cringe tween tiktok transmasc music". because like 1. who gives a shit 2. all of thewse bands are genuinely so fuckking good plea.se why would you do this .please. please why god please

KINGDOM COME: DELIVERANCE II (2025) -> Hunger and Despair

"What happened next, Uncle Henry?"

"Ah, well, it turns out the hostages were locked away somewhere else," Henry was saying to his enraptured audience of one, "as me and your father were discussing what to do next, the enemy spotted us and..." he theatrically mimed firing an arrow from an imaginary bow, "thwap! Fired an arrow right into your father's noble backside!"

Heinrich laughed, shaking his head as he tried to control himself, "he didn't!"

"Aye, it's true," Henry could smile at the memory now. He pointed at his chest, continuing his story, "I had to carry him over my shoulder like a sack of grain!"

The two of them were too busy giggling at Henry's story to notice they were no longer alone. Hans stood in the doorway, watching with a fond expression as he gazed at his unconventional family.

"What are you two laughing about?"

"Nothing," they both said simultaneously, suspiciously glancing at each other whilst making shushing gestures. It didn't take long for Heinrich to excitedly rat Henry out, though.

"Uncle Henry was just telling me about Talmberg, Papa."

Hans raised an eyebrow, glancing at Henry questioningly, "oh, he was, was he?"

"Only how brave and honourable you were, sir," Henry replied innocently. Heinrich nodded, running up to hug his father.

"You were brave, Papa. I would've cried if someone shot me in the butt."

Hans paused ruffling his son's hair to glare at Henry who merely smiled guiltily. Sighing, the nobleman covered his son's ears.

"You're sleeping alone tonight."

"Understood," Henry nodded solemnly. They both knew he was lying anyway.

The funniest KCD modern au for Hansry is if they're just Larpers. Dnd is also a fun alternative but them doing larps or those medieval reenactment shows just hits different.

Henry and Hans are just two normal ass dudes with normal ass jobs, but also they're Lord Hans Capon and Henry of Skalitz on the weekends and they beat other people with (fake) swords for fun.

They met doing larps. Their characters had chemistry and then are hit with the realisation that it's not just their characters who have chemistry.

Heinrich wasn't happy. He refused to study until his father changed his mind, even going so far as to neglect his swordplay and archery training. His father remained firm. Even uncle Henry, whom he usually had wrapped around his little finger, was unwaveringly insistent.

"Why can't I go hunting with you?"

"You're too young," was all his father said as he watched Henry saddle their horses, packing what few supplies they had into their saddlebags. His guardian nodded in agreement.

"And dangerous."

"Exactly," Hans clapped Henry's shoulder, lingering slightly longer than necessary, "you might get hurt."

"I won't get in the way," he begged, using his best pleading eyes which usually worked, "I'll be really good and I'll listen and do whatever you say."

"When you're older," Henry promised, earning himself a slap on the arm from his lord. The two appeared to have an entirely silent conversation that was lost on Heinrich. Eventually, Henry turned back to him, smiling, "much older."

"You never know, son," Hans ruffled the boy's hair, crouching down so they were eye level, "you might piss off a peasant boy enough to have him end up in your service," he winked, smirking, "then he could go with you."

Henry rolled his eyes, stuffing yet more phials into the saddlebag, "ha fucking ha."

Heinrich sighed. He was about to admit defeat when he noticed they had next to no equipment with their things. In fact, he couldn't see anything they might need for a successful hunt. He rifled peered at their horses, confused.

"Where's all your stuff?"

"At the camp," they both said simultaneously. Heinrich looked between them, an eyebrow raised.

"Really?"

"Yes," they both said together. Again.

Heinrich had more questions but they clearly weren't having it. Hans gave some last minute instructions to the staff before he dutifully gave Jitka a peck on the cheek.

"Be good for your mother," Hans patted his shoulder and Heinrich nodded obediently, still not happy with his situation. He really wanted to go hunting. Henry ruffled his hair sympathetically yet affectionately.

He watched them ride off with a sigh, looking up at his mother, "you should think about remarrying, mother."

"Oh? Why is that?" Jitka looked down at her son, hoping her nervousness wasn't evident.

"Well, the way I see it," Heinrich looked at his father and guardian's retreating figures, shaking his head, "they're going to fucking die without any equipment."

more heinrich fics

boys, water

autism is not a horrible disease that ruins lives and tears apart families. elon musk, who is autistic and an evil billionaire who doesn't pay taxes, has ruined thousands of lives, and whose family hates him, is a statistical outlier adn should not have been counted

come on, dive in!

"It can be hard sometimes to find a moment to celebrate when you're lost in the cold… but it's easier with new gloves."