Stop Resisting, Narinder 🧐

A couple days ago i made this post (tldr: Lady Gotham is married to a unknowing Batman and considers his children their children. She gives Jason the title of prince) and today this image popped into my head

Gotham, introducing her kids (who lit didnt know they were her kids until 2 minutes ago) to King Phantom and when she gets to Jason she nudges him forward and starts wingmaning him

Gotham, hands on Jason's shoulders: this is Jason, my prince. He is currently single. I can't help but notice you two are around the same age...

ⓘ This user needs a long break from everything.

Cat logic

Maomao is so favored by people in the highest position in the country that she technically will never have to worry about getting punished by knowing who Jinshi is.

Emperor/Lady Gyokouyo/Lady Lihua: She is their supplier of cultured texts. Makes their nights spicy.

Jinshi: His favorite

Empress Dowager: Approves of Maomao for Jinshi, helped her relieve a guilt

Lakan (highest military official): her biological father, will openly throw hands for Maomao, the dude that can destroy a person's life and career if you done him wrong.

If anything, if Maomao gets punished or god forbid, die. The entire country might even collapse.

Getting Maomao kidnapped can also cause a full out war.

🦔

This is Charles. He wants to go on a journey around tumblr. could you show him around?

I love the concept of Danny just completely forgetting what normal people are supposed to be like, like at first he knows he's a bit fucked up and doesn't blend in, but as time goes on and amity ALSO becomes more fucked up, they all just kinda??? Forget

So you get situations like

Danny: taking a nap during class but he's floating

The rest of the class: damn wish I could sleep that well

-

Danny: drinking what is very clearly ectoplasm

The nasty burger waiter that came to take their order: you want a refill on that?

-

Danny *talking with Sam and tucked*: so when my parents shot me

Random stranger: your parents shot me too bestie, big mood

It would be hilarious if villains loved Nightwing and were terrified of Officer Dick Grayson.

Dick Grayson- who is used to open spaces and adrenaline- being stuck in a boring bleak office, surviving on shots of coffee and red bull with caffeine that would make Tim concerned.

The thugs soon realised that unlike most of the other cops - Dick was from Gotham.

No one fucks with Gothamites.

Villain *shooting at Dick with machine guns*

Dick *appearing from the shadows behind him*: Boo.

Villain: THIS IS A FIVE STOREY BUILDING HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE

Or

Thief *throwing a counting down bomb at Dick*

Dick: *catching and tossing the bomb at a safe distance before turning round and shooting it so it explodes mid air while running after thief*

Thief: .. what the actual fuck

Dick: Gee look at all that time you had! Shame you threw it away :D

Thief:

Dick: I’m from Gotham

Thief *realising they fucked up* : Please don’t steal my bones

OR

Shooter: *sets elaborate booby traps throughout the houses in an active hostage situation*

Dick *using his training as robin and inhuman flexibility to surpass them with ease*: Ah been a while since I got to have a nice stretch thank you.

Shooter:

Dick:

Shooter:

Dick: .. Hi :)

Shooter: Are you Satan?

AND

In interrogation room

Murderer: I think I’ll take your eyes and add them to my collection

Dick *running on spite and caffeine that could give Superman a sugar rush* : Funny.. I was going to say the same thing to you

Murderer: .. what

Dick: I wouldn’t take your eyes though.. they look like the inspiration behind the whole Medusa’s “look at it and you turn to stone” thing-

Murderer: Hey! Take that back before I gut you

Dick *smile stretching wider without blinking* : oh? Or what? I know everything about you. Who says I can’t kill you and walk out with everyone being none the wiser? I know how to kill someone too..you aren’t special.

Murderer:

Murderer: I’m scared for my safety.

Because the thing is, Nightwing is who Dick really is. It’s who he can be free as, be himself as without red tapes and regulations. Where he can give as good as he gets, and he’s kind and empathetic. He gets to help the downtrodden and goes easy on most of them if they give up right away, not to mention the fact that he never causes permanent damage.

But officer Dick Grayson is a different story. He runs on sleepless nights and no self preservation. Seeing an officer with an uncanny skill set they’re scarily good at, not to mention the cheery attitude he always has scares the shit out of criminals. Cuz no way in hell is a smiling Gothamite not a deranged one. He chases crimes like a bloodhound, and isn’t afraid to make good on threats he makes to ensure they never hurt anyone again.

Bonus if the batfam doesn’t know about this.

Red hood: Shit I can’t believe we ended up in Bludhaven

Red Robin *tying up the corrupt politican* : Since this is a sensitive case, we need someone we can trust to make sure it is seen through.

Red hood: .. So we paying a visit to Officer Grayson?

Politician *screeching* : NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOT HIM!! JUST KILL ME INSTEAD AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY I CANT DEAL WITH HIM!

Red hood: .. is he fucking serious?

Henchmen: Sir he is. And we agree. Please take our bones and kill us but don’t take us to Officer Grayson.

Red Robin: Wait what did he do?

Henchman 1: He asked boss if the hat was sentient.. and said that if it was would it make that hat the top and boss the bottom.

Henchman 2: Last time we met I tried to shoot him but suddenly my gun was blank and he raised his hand and let the ammo drop

Red Hood: Well even I could do that-

Henchman 2: They were my bullets. I had selected the colour personally.

Red robin *growing concerned*

Henchman 3: He sang a lullaby to a child when we were holding the station hostage, and replaced the people with my family members. He even sang their social security numbers!

Henchman 4: He’s the most dangerous of them all. I ain’t shitting ya when I say he’s as scary as the bat from Gotham.

*all nodding in agreement*

Red hood:

Red Robin:

Red hood: Nah that doesn’t sound like Dick

Red Robin: Agreed. Let’s go there Hood.

*villains’ sobbing intensifies*

I read somewhere that its common in Arab culture to refer to someone close to you as your organs, implying you can’t live without them. Like in english we’d say “my heart” (qalbi) In Arabic someone would also use “my liver” (kabidi) “my lungs” (riati). Notably, “my blood” is “Dami” which is funny bc it’s Damian’s shortened nickname.

Damian’s brothers have been using the nickname for years with or without knowing. I propose that as Damian gets closer to them, and tim in particular, he responds in kind.

He refers to Tim as “tuhali.”

…it means “my spleen.”

The fact that Python is Apollo's greatest enemy and snake is Asclepius' sacred animal will always be funny

spell checker i love you but you dont need to call me out like this