Timetobetraumatised - TimeToBeTraumatised

It's almost the Ides of March and you know what that means...

And of course, if we can get 10k votes on this, I will make the salad. Last year I didn't get to make it. Let's change that this year!

so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

I will genuinely never forgive anyone involved in making The Imitation Game for their absolute travesty of Alan Turing’s story.

He was intensely autistic, and gay, and *kind*.

He mentored people below him in the programme - including women, who pretty much everyone else was crappy to.

He had terrible allergies and went cycling in a gas mask in the country to avoid then, and when he got overstimulated at parties he pulled incredibly daft elaborate “walking into a cupboard” leaving gags to handle them that left everyone screaming on the floor despite the silliness.

He got on really well with kids and never talked down to them. He gave his neighbours his sugar rations on their kids’ birthdays so she could always make them birthday cakes - even when he was being persecuted after the war, even when he was suffering horrible side effects from the tortures they put him through.

He was such an utterly, genuinely lovely human being, and he deserved so much damn better, and at the very *least* he deserved to be portrayed as who he was in the 21st fucking century instead of falling into a whole slew of horrifically harmful stereotypes that erased the fucking gift he was to us all over again.

People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.

Sometimes it feels like greek myths are just fancy post dumps

Our Systems volunteers have written up a great behind-the-scenes look at last year’s DDoS attacks against the Archive. Why not check it out and show them some love?

I have to hand it to Donald Trump, I didn’t think the sequel to the 1932 Great Emu War would be a trade war against the penguin nation but he truly continues to be an innovator in the stupidity industry

Concept (That I Will Write Someday): Shmi Skywalker is the Chosen One. But she works out her destiny not for the sake of the Republic but because DARN IT ALL there's going to be a war and this is not why she sent her son away with the Jedi! Cue Shmi and the Lars fam wreaking havoc on all of Palpatine's plans while they go after Anakin, following the guidance of Ar-Amu, an eldritch Force being who took a liking for both Tatooine and Shmi and who has no concept of a normal sentient interaction.

Featuring:

Ar-Amu terrifying everyone except Shmi and the Lars, who are used to her

A clone revolution on Kamino, led by Shmi

The subsequent kidnapping/adoption of Obi-Wan and Jango from Kamino

Anakin definitely having dreams about his amu but he has NO IDEA WHAT THE KRIFF THEY'RE ABOUT

Padme and Anakin causing problems for everyone by running off, getting married, and joining Hondo's pirate crew by accident

Shmi marching up to the Jedi Temple wanting to see her son

The Council, knowing that neither Anakin nor Obi-Wan are in the Temple, desperately paging every Jedi close to Anakin to go Deal With This

However, every Jedi close to Anakin is also the exact kind of Jedi who would immediately join Shmi's revolution

The Temple steps are getting kind of crowded

The Clone Wars are kind of over but no one knows what to do

Ar-Amu giving Dark Siders unintentional heart attacks (my sister's idea)

Palpatine having a bad day that lasts many months

Dooku being confused

Ventress getting adopted by more clone troopers

Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies (Except Probably Palpatine)

Shmi just wants to See Her Boy

Owen, Beru, and Cliegg have never met Anakin but darn it all if they're not ride or die for their step-family member anyway

What Happened to the local Jedi temples from the acolyte during the Jedi purge?

For those unaware, while in EU there were several larger temples / enclaves of Jedi, notably on Dantooine during KOTOR - tbe high republic introduced a similar concept brought up again in the acolyte : smaller, regional temples / monasteries / outposts. Basically a way for the Jedi to have a foothold safe space in the outer rim far from Courascant. Places for them to oversee and help a region and have some sort of base to operate from.

I think “outposts” would’ve been better for the show to have used as it represents their role more - only a handful of Jedi, sparse accomodations just to regroup, recover and oversee an area. But not rly a big deal, since it’s easier shorthand for the function they serve to a new audience than a more militant connontation of “outpost.” But that’s pedantic!

even then, as you say there are Jedi spread throughout. 100 years isn’t THAT long, so can’t automatically assume they all got closed down in the same way if we saw them last 900 years ago.

But they were on the downturn, and in the recent canon novel “the living force” a padawan obi wan mentions years ago he spent time at one and is surprised to learn its since been closed, and there are various other ones having to close down (which has the interesting flourishes of needing officials to formally administer the signing over of the property to planetary gov, jedi masters needing to process and mark sensitive or historic objects and pass them along to the archives , donate other things etc”) , and in comics there are mentioned a couple outposts thag have been abandoned since the high republic - and if that pattern held there’s probably few if any left by TCW.

But I imagine if they’re still using any, which there very well could be a handful, but by that time the clone wars has taken care of that problem: a call for conscription amongst the Jedi would see most of these temples emptied as Jedi are obligated to join the war and are placed alongside clones; seperatist attacks on outer rim worlds would drive remaining Jedi into the core. Plus, if any of those frontier worlds signed on with the seperatists - expelling the jedi would be first on the docket.

So really, I don’t think any would be in use by the time of order 66. Tho there might be those too young, too old or entrusted with other duties deemed essential that for some reason aren’t able to rejoin Courascant. Unlikely but it could happen.

In that case, part of the sub 5% Jedi who survived the initial order 66, they’d be hunted down in the resulting purge - and with a comms blackout it’d likely be among the first places the empire attacks the outposts / local temples are an obvious rallying point and source of Jedi, but also symbolically as a bastion of the Jedi way and light of hope.