My Friend Asked Me To Pretend To Be Her Boyfriend Because Her Parents Are Homophobic Af But They Ended

Ah yes, cheese. The feeling of betrayal.

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

I too need 20 years to complete any task. It's a problem. Send help.

Overcoming the slightest challenge of my day: “This is just like the Odyssey.”

If y’all wanna know the true power of hate, just remember that Alan Turing, the breaker of the enigma code in WWII, was driven to suicide by being forced to undergo chemical castration as a punishment for his homosexuality.

Historians say he saved 14 to 21 million lives.

I’d also like to say in the time we studied WWII in school, the history textbooks never mentioned him. I had never heard of the guy until I watched “The Imitation Game” which I 110% recommend you watch if you haven’t.Alan Turing was a blessing to humanity who saved (once again) 14 to 21 million lives, and he is left out of history because he was gay.

And this is just one example?? So many brilliant and heroic people are left out of history because of their race, their gender, their sexuality, their religion, and it’s just because some bigots in positions of influence get to decide what parts of history are remembered.

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

Concept (That I Will Write Someday): Shmi Skywalker is the Chosen One. But she works out her destiny not for the sake of the Republic but because DARN IT ALL there's going to be a war and this is not why she sent her son away with the Jedi! Cue Shmi and the Lars fam wreaking havoc on all of Palpatine's plans while they go after Anakin, following the guidance of Ar-Amu, an eldritch Force being who took a liking for both Tatooine and Shmi and who has no concept of a normal sentient interaction.

Featuring:

Ar-Amu terrifying everyone except Shmi and the Lars, who are used to her

A clone revolution on Kamino, led by Shmi

The subsequent kidnapping/adoption of Obi-Wan and Jango from Kamino

Anakin definitely having dreams about his amu but he has NO IDEA WHAT THE KRIFF THEY'RE ABOUT

Padme and Anakin causing problems for everyone by running off, getting married, and joining Hondo's pirate crew by accident

Shmi marching up to the Jedi Temple wanting to see her son

The Council, knowing that neither Anakin nor Obi-Wan are in the Temple, desperately paging every Jedi close to Anakin to go Deal With This

However, every Jedi close to Anakin is also the exact kind of Jedi who would immediately join Shmi's revolution

The Temple steps are getting kind of crowded

The Clone Wars are kind of over but no one knows what to do

Ar-Amu giving Dark Siders unintentional heart attacks (my sister's idea)

Palpatine having a bad day that lasts many months

Dooku being confused

Ventress getting adopted by more clone troopers

Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies (Except Probably Palpatine)

Shmi just wants to See Her Boy

Owen, Beru, and Cliegg have never met Anakin but darn it all if they're not ride or die for their step-family member anyway

Not a tail but a pillow

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that