Somehow Dick Manages To Actually Lock Tim Up In Arkham After Bruce “dies,” And It Results In The

Somehow Dick manages to actually lock Tim up in Arkham after Bruce “dies,” and it results in the longest period of no breakouts in Gotham history.

Don’t misunderstand. Tim’s not like standing at this revolving door of a prison entrance intimidating people into staying. He’s just being he’s weird self. He’s not Robin anymore after all, Damian took that mantle, but he’s still Timothy Drake and if you think this little twink of a boy with too much Information on everyone and to many random ass skill sets is not the most entertaining thing to show up in those halls then you are wrong.

Dude walks in with a suitcase half his size and wearing a pair of shades that cost more than the building housing him. He has a cell to himself that’s??? Fully furnished what the fuck? How did he get a laptop in here?

Someone approaches him in the canteen thinking they could extort or threaten him and Tim reflexively flips and pins them to the ground. He then sits in the guy and starts telling his captive audience about a cold case from 87 that he’s absolutely positive would be solved already if the police were competent in collecting evidence but also holy shit the uncle was so obviously guilty I can’t believe he somehow managed to get away with it.

Tim and Dent regularly hold mock trials. They’re not serious. Someone from the audience usually comes up with some random scenario and the two argue over it and site sources they have memorized and they go back and forth until there’s a vote by a preselected Jury.

Somehow Tim and Riddler started a “Pun-off.” That roped in like….half of the inmates. They had to cool it after someone got stabbed for a particularly bad pun though.

PowerPoint nights were implemented and the therapist thought it was a great idea because it allowed the patience an outlet for their obsessions. Most showed up because Tim was a bottomless well of cold case information and obscure conspiracy theories. This man has shown up every night with a new PowerPoint to present. No one talks about the number of note takers when he was presenting the PowerPoint on cloning.

People start showing up to group therapy on the off chance they’re in a group with Tim because there is something entertaining about listening to him dramatically wax poetic about how if he’d “ever felt the true touch of his mother’s love then he likely wouldn’t have spiraled down mentally when all his closest friends died so close together.

Once, Tim wanted Alaskan Crab so he ordered it and had enough shipped in for all the inmates and the staff. Hired a private chef to come in and cook it all too.

Meanwhile, in one on one therapy, Tim kinda just laughs with his appointed therapists about everything that’s going on. Talking about his friends does help, and playing up his intelligent eccentric billionaire is cathartic in a way Tim’s never really expected. “How sad is it that I’ve had more fun around these people than I have with my own family?” He asked one day.

Dick shows up one day to check on his baby brother because all he hears from Arkham is “Tim’s doing great!” Also he’s trying to check up on why there haven’t been any breakouts recently. When he’s brought to Tim’s cell he’s super confused. Again, this is a fully furnished Cell and Tim’s “smuggled” in a super computer essentially and what looked like a very expensive bed. There’s a shelf of books and a number of other electronics and oh? Are those WI financial records? Is Tim still running the company out of Arkham?

Anyway, Dick is checking in and Tim beams at him. “Dude, you basically sent me on Sabbatical! No fighting, no Damian or Jason! I don’t have to submit patrol reports. I’m not always bruised up from fights. No Damian or Jason! And when my fellow inmates aren’t being psychotic they’re entertaining as shit! I’m having more fun here than I have had in the last decade.”

And Dick doesn’t really know how to handle this, especially when Tim slips him a tablet and says. “By the way, I called in a favor with Slade (or other mercenary of your choice) since that Bitch owes me for that one stunt in the Caribbean, and had him check out some locations I thought Bruce might have left clues. Turns out I was right. Our cruddy father was in fact not dead and lost in the Time Stream. This tablet has everything you need to bring him back assuming you don’t think I’m still losing my sanity, which by the way, I’ve seen future selves where my sanity was lost and you better pray that never happens. Apparently the world burns. Killed that version of me already though, it’s somewhere in the YJ archives along with Gun Batman, Joker Batman, and Demon Head Tim. That last one is still possible though.”

“There’s at least two ninja’s here who have been tasked with keeping an eye on me on Ra’s behest. Wouldn’t put it past that man to abduct and try to brainwash me, but also if he tried Dent and Riddle would team up and systematically tear his organization a part to get me back. Apparently I’ve brought in enough intellectual stimulation and  entertainment that if anything happened to me they would ‘kill everyone involved and then Themselves.’ Their words not mine. I mean, I haven’t seen hide more tail of the Joker and wouldn’t be surprised if someone shot him dead in his cell to keep him from ruining our fun.” It was Tim actually. Figured he’d give patricide a go since all of his father/father figures keep dying. Figured he’d let Joker Junior complete the set.

“Anyway. Go save Bruce. When’s he’s back, tel him to come pick me up. Ask him if he’s proud that I’m following in his footsteps. Oooh tell him they stuck me in his old room I bet he’d love that!”

Dick end up leaving wondering if he somehow made a problem worse.

A month later Bruce shows up in a suit. Tim is drinking something out of a pineapple, sitting around a table with Dent, Nigma, and Harley playing a game of poker. Tim looks up, smiles, and asks if he wants to be delt in. Bruce sighs heavily but pulls up a chai, nods at the the other’s at the table and lets his son deal him into the game.

Somehow, Bruce is still surprised every time he learns that Tim is the most like him out of all his children.

More Posts from Threefandomsinatenchcoat and Others

11 months ago

All the reblogs are just. So Good.

America's Sweetheart Olympian 🥇

america's sweetheart olympian 🥇

“Wait, these are actually hella cute questions.”

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? 2. Are you outgoing or shy? 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? 4. Are you easy to get along with? 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? 15. What good thing happened this summer? 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? 19. Do you like bubble baths? 20. Do you like your neighbors? 21. What are you bad habits? 22. Where would you like to travel? 23. Do you have trust issues? 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? 26. What do you do when you wake up? 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? 28. Who are you most comfortable around? 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? 30. Do you ever want to get married? 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? 33. Spell your name with your chin. 34. Do you play sports? What sports? 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? 37. What do you say during awkward silences? 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? 40. What do you want to do after high school? 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 43. Do you smile at strangers? 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? 46. What are you paranoid about? 47. Have you ever been high? 48. Have you ever been drunk? 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? 51. Ever wished you were someone else? 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 53. Favourite makeup brand? 54. Favourite store? 55. Favourite blog? 56. Favourite colour? 57. Favourite food? 58. Last thing you ate? 59. First thing you ate this morning? 60. Ever won a competition? For what? 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? 62. Been arrested? For what? 63. Ever been in love? 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? 65. Are you hungry right now? 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? 67. Facebook or Twitter? 68. Twitter or Tumblr? 69. Are you watching tv right now? 70. Names of your bestfriends? 71. Craving something? What? 72. What colour are your towels? 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 75. Favourite animal? 76. What colour is your underwear? 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? 80. What colour pants? 81. Favourite tv show? 82. Favourite movie? 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? 87. First person you talked to today? 88. Last person you talked to today? 89. Name a person you hate? 90. Name a person you love? 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? 92. In a fight with someone? 93. How many sweatpants do you have? 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 95. Last movie you watched? 96. Favourite actress? 97. Favourite actor? 98. Do you tan a lot? 99. Have any pets? 100. How are you feeling? 101. Do you type fast? 102. Do you regret anything from your past? 103. Can you spell well? 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? 107. Have you ever been on a horse? 108. What should you be doing? 109. Is something irritating you right now? 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 111. Do you have trust issues? 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 113. What was your childhood nickname? 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? 115. Do you play the Wii? 116. Are you listening to music right now? 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? 118. Do you like Chinese food? 119. Favourite book? 120. Are you afraid of the dark? 121. Are you mean? 122. Is cheating ever okay? 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 125. Do you believe in true love? 126. Are you currently bored? 127. What makes you happy? 128. Would you change your name? 129. What your zodiac sign? 130. Do you like subway? 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 133. Favourite lyrics right now? 134. Can you count to one million? 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 137. How tall are you? 138. Curly or Straight hair? 139. Brunette or Blonde? 140. Summer or Winter? 141. Night or Day? 142. Favourite month? 143. Are you a vegetarian? 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? 145. Tea or Coffee? 146. Was today a good day? 147. Mars or Snickers? 148. What’s your favourite quote? 149. Do you believe in ghosts? 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?  (via tchitsnathan)

These are really good. Drop a number or a few in my inbox :)

Well Ok, Not That Upset About It

Well ok, not that upset about it

Ok does anyone else hate when you do something and a completely unrelated part of your body hurts? Like:

Me, sitting watching a movie: *cough*

Me: *sneeze* good god I hate this cold

Me: *sneezes AND coughs at the same time aggressively *

Me: WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE I PULLED A MUSCLE IN MY SHOULDER????

Or

Me: *walking normally*

Me: *clutches my chest*

Friend: omg are you ok??

Me: what, do your lungs not randomly feel like you’ve been stabbed?

Friend: ummm NO!!?!?!?

Me: huh. Whoopsie


Tags
Above Image Is A Pride Flag With Every Color Band Represented By A NASA Image. White Is Earth Clouds,
Above Image Is A Pride Flag With Every Color Band Represented By A NASA Image. White Is Earth Clouds,

Above image is a pride flag with every color band represented by a NASA image. White is Earth clouds, pink is aurora, blue is the Sun in a specific wavelength, brown is Jupiter clouds, black is the Hubble deep field, red is the top of sprites, orange is a Mars crater, yellow is the surface of Io, green is a lake with algae, blue is Neptune, and purple is the Crab Nebula in a specific wavelength.

Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.

Listen, its important to me that you know jason is a crier. ESPECIALLY an angry crier. It only hapens when he's with people he knows/cares about, but that helmet is there because he knew he'd be crying if he ever talked to bruce.

That voice modulator? Hide his voice cracks. That bomb? So no one ever knows that he was damn near sobbing, and he can die rather than face the embarrassment. The mask under the hood is so he can take the helmet off after so he doesn't drown in his own tears. That helmet is air tight, not bc of fear gas or joker gas, but so no one sees the water dripping out of his helmet.

Little Jaybin could and would cry once or twice on patrol to get a goon beaten extra hard and icecream after.

Jaybin crying during aruments in his later years and then getting frustrated that he couldnt get his point across clearly and seems too emotional to be taken seriously.

Jason, fully grown up, looking Dick straight in the eyes and grinning, before he bursts into tears, knowing it'll flip B's protective instincts and make Dick feel guilty. (Dick, baffled, confused, angry, guilty)

Jason, ACTUALLY crying in the vicinity of Dick and lowkey baffled at how Dick immediately jumps to fix the situation because Dick didnt do that when he was Jaybin-

Jason showing Damian to use tears to his advantage in the leauge, then being baffled when Talia and Ra's also panic when HE cries and does anything to make it stop-

Tim, who is NOT a crier having aruments with Jason then being flabbergated that Jason IS infact a crier.

Jason drugged out of his mind, sobbing and hugging Bruce, and refusing to let go. (When he was Jaybin, he could just koala Bruce, but now he can hold Bruce down with his dead weight.)

Cass, who is also a crier, being one of the only people to understand angry sobs and sad sobs, who reacts accordingly.

Damian being slowly turned into a crier because Jason taught him to use tears to get what he wants, then the pets he got snuggle him when he cry, thus pavloving him into expressing himself by crying more often >>>>>>>>>>>>

(For @chaoticbatfam and @prlssprfctn because if there are no jason fans left, we are dead)

This is so helpful omg

This Is Potentially Life Saving Information Everyone Should Know.

This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.

Reblogging so I can see if anything is added

writing a peter parker in gotham fic wasn’t on my to-do list but frankly there wasn’t anything on my to-do list anyway

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