Sometimes I Don't Care About What People Think, Because I've Already Thought About It On Their Behalf.

What else should I say?

~ark

What a dilemma..

~ark

Undefined

The noise of the world penetrated within, Settling deep inside,  Trying to stir the dead silence that hung,  Hiding beneath the mask of peace.

I never knew why but a sense of void grew, A hollow too stubborn to consume me and not contain me.

I remained indifferent, a way to run away, Forgetting, remembering, cherishing, regretting, Thoughts like water, flowing through my fingers, trying to cage them.

In this whirlwind of life, The feeling of being lost lingered, The fear of messing up,  The embarrassment of being monotonous,  Being too weak to overcome, being too stubborn to move on.

Forcing myself to understand everything, To make sense, to become understandable. Not being too loud, not too silent, Nothing extreme, to avoid attention.

I kept searching for definitions, A way to find meaning of something in my life, A way to define myself, But maybe,  I was fluid, changing itself with changing places.

Too difficult to be bound by boundaries, Yet too soluble, To completely dissolve in me to feel me To be with me was to be contaminated by me An existence, to be ignored for being a necessity; valued in scarcity, A shape, full, but never whole. A story remembered but never told.

~ark

Once Again

There I stood,

Realising I repeated that once again.

No matter how hard I tried,

I still saw it returning from its exile.

My memory seems to disappear at the time,

Reappearing after the end.

I sighed pitying myself,

While I suffocated in regret.

I don't know what to do next,

I lost both energy and time.

Putting up my best smile,

I witnessed myself,

Missing my life's target,

In the process of erasing its lines.

~ark

And then, I found home in an unfamiliar voice, And peace in the familiar noise.

~ark

Who I Am

I let the screams sink in, They were mere words after all. I already knew their emotions, I stood still like a doll. I lay my head low, My mind all blank. An infinite questions sowed, Answers were all hanged. The mirror on the guilt's wall, I tried to cover it with my hands. I wondered who I was, While they asked me who I am.

~ark

"People empty me. I have to get away to refill."

– Charles Bukowski

I Must Be

I have to be relatable to be seen,

I must feel the same to be heard.

I have to be patient and listen to their empty words,

I must be caring to make them feel like home.

I must remain unknown to make them known.

I have to make them feel happy,

I must compliment their flaws.

Standing in the courtroom,

I must face a trial for breaking the laws.

I should have a bad memory,

Forgetting everything

And move on,

I must apologise for not becoming their lifeless doll.

~ark

People are finding the love of their life online, and I can't even find the right answer to my assignment questions.