This Will Actually Stay Unfinished

Hai spaghetti - seb

Hi

WHAT, WHY AM I TAGGED FROM THE PAST

I’d be nothing without @theunfrgiv3n.

David has a pussy yay (he’s trans)

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Dave Mustaine/David Ellefson

Summary:

Dave crouched in front of the cabinet and pulled out the small box where David kept his supplies: the vial, alcohol wipes, new needles. Everything arranged neatly, almost obsessively. It was the one thing David never fucked around with.He stripped down just enough to bare the top of his thigh and sat on the edge of the tub again. His hand shook when he passed the syringe to Dave. “Hold still,” Dave said gently.

//

1985

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65147134

Y'all won't ever believe me because I can't even believe it myself, but DIETH's Hubert (lead guitarist for performance) replied to my story and we chatted for a little and he sent me a video with Guilherme (guitar & vocals) and Michał (drums). This is the sweetest yet shocking thing that ever happened in my whole life. I'm seriously looking forward for the next time they come to Spain and try to sneak backstage to talk with them, they seem the nicest <3

(Also I need to get David to sign my 2010 magazine ‘cause I almost got him yesterday).

───  𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘

Update : Michał started following me on insta!

God watches with teeth. Every breath I take feels peeled, every thought a trespass. I was born already wrong, wired for fire, taught to kneel before love that punishes. My sin is entrenched, carved into me by hymns and eyes that never blink. I don’t pray anymore. I implore. And even then, I wait for the slap, not the pity.

I love Him like a blade to the throat, beautiful, agonizing, inevitable. My chest splits open at the thought of Him, ribs pried wide for a light that burns more than it warms. I whisper His name and taste ash. I tremble not from doubt, but from the awful ache of knowing He sees me, every flaw, every filth, and still demands my adoration. I would crawl to His altar with bleeding hands, if only to feel worthy of the terror.

I rot for forgiveness and understanding, pleading for acceptance, and yet, my pleas are only answered with silence.

⋆˙⟡ painfully beautiful

I stand here, wrecked by my own hands, caught between the person I was and the one I’m forced to be. God’s gaze is cold, distant. I wasn’t made for this, this body, this life. None of it feels real. It’s a cage I didn’t ask for, a skin that never belonged to me. I look at myself, but I don’t recognize the person staring back. My face, my eyes, hollow and empty. I wonder if God makes mistakes or if I’m just part of some cruel design. A soul condemned before it had a chance.

Everything feels wrong, and yet, nothing feels real enough to care. My body is a prison, a place I don’t belong. I scream inside for someone to hear, but there’s only silence, like I’m trapped in a place that won’t let me go.

I pray, but I don’t believe. I’m not worthy of mercy. I never asked for this life, and yet here I am, broken, rotting under the weight of something I never chose. And still, I keep going, dragging myself through the motions, because what else can I do?

But the truth is, I don’t think I was meant to be. This flesh, this life, it was never mine to control, never mine to fix. I was never meant to be whole, and maybe I never will be.

Type shit I be doing after attempting yet again

me when I read ellefstaine

new favorite AO3 comment dropped. short, simple, to the point. made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt.