Thetyrantofanewera - Thetyrantofanewera

REAL

I know exactly what happens next. But unfortunately, I must now explain it… with words.

You guys I have magical psychic future seeing abilities I just asked this girl out and she said yes 💅✨

Just found out I'm related to King Henry the 8th while in recovery from an OD yesterday... gotta say, that made me feel a lot better!

you guys crisis averted I just ignored the person at the door and they left and my cat is still sleeping on my legs like 2 hours later

YOU GUYS HELP I NEED HELP MY CAT IS LAYING ON MY LEGS AND HE'S SLEEPING BUT I HAVE TO GET UP BECAUSE SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR BUT HE'S SO PRECIOUS AND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGEL AND HE'S SLEEPING YOU GUYS WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

YOU GUYS SHE RESPONDED!!!

(I think I died and ascended I literally love her 💀)

Hi!! I've really loved your blog for a while now and just recently worked up the courage to send you an ask because you're basically the governing deity of my dashboard (I regret nothing.) Anyway, I wanted to say that I really admire you, and just wanted to thank you for what your words have done for me. A lot of that stuff has been really inspiring, and helped to pull me out of a writer's block/depression because of my mental health. I really appreciate you, your blog, and everything you do!

hi!! (´,,•ω•,,)♡ oh my gosh, first of all, thank you so much for this message. it genuinely made my whole day, no, my whole week!! the fact that anything i’ve posted could inspire you or help in any small way means so much to me, you have no idea.

you’re out here saying i’m the governing deity of your dashboard (blushing, crying, spiraling—what does one even say to that??), but you’re the one doing the hard work of pushing through writer’s block and taking care of your mental health. i’m so proud of you for that.

seriously, it takes such strength and courage to face those things head-on, and the fact that you’re here, writing, and even sending such a sweet ask? you’re amazing, truly. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ i hope you keep creating, because the world needs whatever incredible stories you have inside you. thank you so much for your kindness—it really means the world to me, and i’m sending you all the love, hugs, and sparkly good vibes!! ✧｡(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ｡✧ 💖💖

The Legend of the Snow Tit

Yes, I am dead serious and you read that right.

So.

My nieces live in South Carolina with my sister and her partner, and they just recently had snow. There were less than three inches, but I swear on chocolate and Timothee Chalamet's immaculate jawline that these girls spent six hours STRAIGHT collecting snow from my sister's driveway, all of their cars, the gotdamn mailbox, and both of their neighbors' driveways for what ended up being 12 buckets, five gallons each, of snow.

They said that they wanted to build a snowman that was taller than me, so that we could get married before he melted because apperently their only criteria for my future husband is that he's taller than I am. Don't ask... kids are weird, and these ones specifically are very distressed that I, at 19 years old, have not gotten married and provided them with a male, boy cousin. They really wanted a brother, but my sister and her partner don't want anymore kids.

Anywah, I took the girls to the mall today and it was about 50 degrees, and the snowman was already on his last legs. His head was lost at some point, likely to the heat. When we came back, the entire torso had melted into a ball vaguely the size of a golf ball and I shit you not, my six year old niece's first comment was that "it looks like a giant boob sticking out of the ground."

the difference between good writing and great writing is how many times you’re willing to rewrite the same sentence until it sounds less like wattpad and more like pride and prejudice.