My Dumb Ass Just Went Straight For "Mercury Can Totally Walk On Walls." Based Solely On The Winged Sandal

Plot Twist: The scratch marks aren’t from Grimm, they’re from Ruby.

Six minutes of pure and pasionate lancaster love

Oscar under one arm, and Nora under the other.

Ren Rides on his back.

As a short person myself, this is a friggin mood I relate to

Yang: I MEAN HE WAS SO HUGE! I WAS CERTAIN IT WOULDNT FIT. ITS WAS LIKE BAM!

Tai: i wished you wouldnt talk about your boyfriend at the table

What the fuck. This sounds like a train wreck.

So yeah, might be better to just ignore it entirely.

Maybe it can be in the weird DC comics canon, it sounds about as coherent.

Alright, so...

Due to the blatant murder of the personalities of basically everyone in the RWBY book "Before the Dawn", and the rampant harassment and bullying from the book's fanatics against people with valid criticisms, I'm not taking either of the RWBY books as canon. At all, aside from confirmed semblances. I just can't. At least not until E.C. Myers, Miles, and Kerry address and call out the harassment that's been going on by these fanatics to silence any and all criticisms of Before the Dawn, like with what was done to Coco, Velvet, Sun, and basically anyone that appears in that book.

Anyone who bullies people into silencing their criticisms are just plagues to the RWBY community, and to the world. It's silencing free speech which no matter where you are in the world, should never stand.

I honestly don't care about Coco being confirmed lesbian at this point anymore. It's tied to so much murder of character and so much bullying and harassment that it kind of just fucking ruins it.

You can hate me all you want, but I'm standing by my decision. The RWBY novels are not canon in my eyes. I will not change my mind until Myers, Miles, and Kerry The only thing that needs to change is the rampant bullying and harassment by these fanatics to silence any criticisms of the books, especially Before the Dawn.

And before anyone comes to this post about how I'm "just a RWBY hater", don't. Just don't bother. RWBY is one of my favorite shows ever honestly. It got me into writing, and inspired me to want to write my own book. I absolutely love RWBY and the work Miles and Kerry and everyone else have put into it after Monty's passing. Don't use this post as a platform to spread hate. Use it to spread criticism if you have to do something with it, but not hate.

We know Robyn is one hell of a domme, but how would she show Jaune she cared?

Robyn would hold jaune close to her. Kiss his neck and tell him he did such a good job, call him a good boy.

Great as always, now I've got a sudden need to see Elm blushing in a wedding dress.

How about some Elm × Jaune?

(sure)

Elm Ederne was not a woman Jaune would have thought he ended up dating.

He didn’t mind at all, though.

Elm was a giant of a woman, strong as hell and quite feisty. She didn’t hesitate to ask him out when he caught her interest and then drag him into an unusual wrestling date.

Those who said not to have sex on the first date never met Elm, who went with the flow and simply snuck into the showers after the two of them getting sweaty.

Which was where jaune discovered something rather adorable of the usually tough woman.

Once in the afterglow, she became a cuddly teddy bear, desiring affection and kisses, turning any consequent rounds into a mellow, loving and slower affair.

Which brough them to now. Jaune had just finished turning Elm into her cuddle bug self, thoroughly enjoying her huge and soft body against his own. It was always a refreshing change whenever her Nora-esque demeanor gave way to this.

“ready for another round?” It was not really an ask; he knew she was up for it. Though, just as she rolled over, letting him be on top and greeting him with a loving smile, the door burst open.

“For fucks sake, you two!” Vine snarled. “It’s been two hours now! Get the fuck to sleep!”

~Haven~

Ruby: -and then he just started taking bites out of it!

Nora: Yeah he did! Bossman Jaune locking it down!

Weiss: That’s disgusting! Barbaric!

Ruby: I know right! He’d do it whenever he found a deer, and he’d always ask me if I wanted it first like that’s normal!

Nora: I always ate Ren’s deer hearts...

Yang: Is this just a thing now? Was Vomit-Boy that weird when we were at school?

Blake: Wait- Where did Jaune grow up again? Do you know?

Ruby: Uhhh...Ansel? East of Vale? He’d go camping out in Anima though so he knew where to-

Blake: Hmmmm.... *Locking eyes with a giddy Nora*

Ruby: What? Does that matter?

Blake: Well in many regions of rural Sanus the heart goes to the youngest in the group to help them grow stronger.-

Ruby: I’m barely younger! And I don’t need a heart to g-

Blake: But on Anima, it’s a romantic gesture.

Weiss: It WHAT!?

Yang: Wha-ha-ha-hat?

Blake: It’s a confession, or if you want to be more literal, ‘I am asking permission to romantically pursue you’ it’s actually how Valentine’s Day started.

Weiss: How could that be considered romant-

Ruby: I was supposed to eat it!?

Yang: D’aaaw... poor Jauney, had his poor gross deer heart broken again...

Nora: You wish~~~

Weiss:...Ruby you didn’t-

Ruby: I didn’t even touch it!

Nora: Tell ‘em Blakey!

Blake: *Sighs* A rejection would have been tossing it on the ground, or even passing it on to another person, Ruby, you said he could have it every time?

Ruby: Y-Yeah, but I didn’t know any-

Nora: *Hyperactive Squealing*

Weiss: QUIET! Blake! What does that mean?

Blake: *Fidgeting with pages, looking away* Well, it varies, but-

Yang: WHAT’S IT!?

Blake:...’I am already yours’...

Nora: *Cheering*

Weiss & Yang: *Angry Stammering*

Ruby: *Panicking Rose Noises*

random idea for my head cannon of jaune

walking through remnant was a long and drawn-out process. especially when you didn’t pack rations before you set out. ruby would argue that she had a lot to think about before leaving but she knew she’d screwed up. she was taught to fight not to plan a caravan. luckily jaune knew how to hunt and process his kills, sure it was sad to kill a cute bunny or a gentle deer but hey they had to eat law of nature. she only cried a little  the bad news was that jaune processed the kills while they were around. and seeing her crush bestie friend ripping the guts out of an animal before skinning it. she got a little sick to her stomach.  Jaune: “okay, ruby you want the heart?” *still got his hands covered in the deer* Ruby: *kinda scared* “what?” Nora: *gasps* “Renny it’s happening!” Ren: *pleasantly surprised* “ahead of schedule as well, congratulations ruby” Ruby: “why am I being congratulated? what’s going on” Jaune: “the hearts something that can be eaten raw, I wanted to know if you wanted it” Ruby: “okay funny guys, really funny. you almost had me” *looks around* “you’re joking, right?” Jaune: “as serious as a heart attack” Nora: *gasps* Ren: *smiles happily* Ruby: “I couldn’t” jaune: “I don’t mind, you should have it” Ren: *shakes his head, still smiling* Nora: *pantomimes eating* Ruby: *panicking*  “YOU EAT IT!” Nora: “ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” *grabs ren by the shirt and shakes him* “IT’S HAPPENING!” jaune: *shrugs and takes a bite out of the heart like an apple* Nora/Ren: *applauding* Ruby: *face pales* *softly to herself* “what the heck” ———————————————————————————————————– so fun fact about deer hearts they can be eaten raw. in vale the heart is traditionally given to the youngest member of the group to help them grow strong in minstral the heart is given to someone you care about and is seen as something romantic  in the kingdoms, proper no one eats deer heart  so three different things were happening during this story for Nora and ren, it was jaune giving a romantic gesture (a very major one) to ruby who then reciprocated (in a major way) basically announcing that they would be courting each other  jaune made a kill and as a skilled hunter offered the best part to ruby who was the youngest as a gesture to show he cared about her. but she didn’t like deer heart so he ate it for her ruby just watched her … jaune, kill an animal rip its guts out through its butt cut off its skin then eat the heart out of it still raw after offering it to her

I always preferred Armored Sundae.

Neo, finding out Jaune had a crush on Weiss Schnee their first semester at Beacon: *That was over a year ago, she clearly doesn't like him back... and if she tries anything I'll just fight her to the death. Win-win.*

Neo, finding out Jaune was in love with Pyrrha Nikos before she died during The Fall: *...fuck*

Faunus!Zwei is terrified of thunder, and wakes up just as a storm rolls in. The only other one(s) awake is Jaune (and Ruby?). Brotherly bonding time? (Not sure if Jaune is staying on Patch over some break, or if he comes over from Vale.)

A loud crack goes across the sky waking up the fanaus boy from his sleep, a loud Yelp coming out of his mouth. He looks around his room in fear. He thought about running to his sisters or his dad, but then frowned. He wasnt a baby. He was a big boy! And boys dont need sleep with other cause they were scared! To the second CRACK changed his mind and he ran into Ruby’s room and dive under the covers. Jaune open his eyes at the movement and lift the cover to see Zwei shaking like a leaf under it. Ruby snored, pretending to sleep at the moment. Jaune knew she wanted this to he a chance for him and Zwei to bond someway.

Jaune sighed and pulled up Zwei.

Jaune:Hey buddy. You okay?

Zwei:……

Jaune:Got scared of the thunder?

Zwei nods his head slightly.

Jaune:Hey it’s okay bud. You wanna stay in her with me and your sister?

Zwei look up Jaune, tears threatening to fall from his face.

Zwei:Can I?

Jaune:Sure.

Zwei began to smile before a another thunderclap and he clutched Jaune tightly. Jaune ruffled his hair telling him it was alright and Zwei began to fall alseep, light snoring coming from him. Jaune look toward Ruby to see her smiling at him.

Ruby:Good job Jaune.

She kissed him and cuddle up to him both slowly falling alseep.

Either Scarlet Knight or Lancaster, all three are the types who would tiptoe around for longest, so when they did finally take any given step they’d be starving for it.

which jaune ship in your opinion would have the most sexual tension?