Thesadpandagod - The Sad Panda God

Recovery from intensely restrictive and abusive upbringing is like: I’m comfortable with ambiguity, I’m comfortable with ambiguity, I’m comfortable with ambiguity, OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME THE RULES RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DIE. AM I ALLOWED TO DO THIS? WHAT DO YOU WANT??? AM I IN TROUBLE FOR ASKING??? TELL ME THE RULES, IM SO SCARED, nvm I’m comfortable with ambiguity, I’m comfortable with ambiguity, I’m okay, this is fine, I’m comfortable with ambiguity

People saying being gay is a choice and then show me characters like this:

You think anyone can choose to ignore her! Smh 😔

Pre-Pandemic

Now

Picrew

lillycrew

helloo :0) here is a picrew i made! it's pretty rad, so if you dig the art in this, feel free to follow my instagram @itslillyillustrates! (

Enemies to lovers but it's two people who go from being mormon and jw to exmormon and exjw

I'm at a full time internship and I've come to the conclusion I'm not career driven. As a witness who decided to go to a four year university I'm seen as nearly career obsessed because I've simply dedicated time to get a job. Its frankly sacrilegious that I'm working full time as a young adult. When I talk about what I study at all they are uncomfortable and push the conversation to how "Jehovah can use my talents". While people typically won't call me out they are always "concerned". They'll start treating me like a pet project they can 'fix'. This has led to my perception that I must love work, when really, I just dont want to hate my job like most witnesses.

You ever have someone message you on social media and think "what if I deleted my entire account?"

If you feel blocked, stuck, repressed, scared (also of trusting and letting go, of feeling vulnerable but safe with others)... it may have something to do with the environment in which you grew up. Your caregiver/s was/is probably someone with anger issues, that used to get even more easily angered when things didn't follow a specific plan that pleased them (any sudden change in the stability or habitual life felt too much to bear with for them), or if they felt even barely sick. Someone who may have had also light confidence issues and other fears. And you, in order to not have them yell against you for no real reason or the slight annoyance, learned to stay silent, and just do your job. You almost became a shadow whenever you happened to understand it was a wrong day for them. You probably always tried to make things better and please them and others too. To save yourself from the pain of yelling and feeling wrong or being accused of all that was going on when you had no fault. You may have also been controlled a lot by them or someone else. And you never felt free to express yourself cause they always had to comment on you, your decisions, your acts, your behaviour. To point out all you did. To give you their unsolicited and at times also rude opinion. You may have also realized they used to lie around (about you too), gaslight or guilt trip you, not just in those occasions but in others as well, especially when the fault was theirs.

All this ofc has been playing in the back of your head, no matter how many good days you could experience. Take time to understand you have no fault, you have no guilt, you can do whatever you want to do and even if others comment or judge you, it's only how they got used to act and think, and are probably only projecting onto you. I hope you can find the strenght to forgive yourself cause you did all you could and you did amazing. And that you can remind yourself of your real worth and find your way out of this cage. You don't deserve to stay there.

I can't do anything cool for Halloween as a pimo, so behold!

It's my cute jack o lantern self! Here's the link if you want to make one too!

Picrew

Spooky Cuties @gabbydarienzo

!! For PERSONAL & NON-COMMERCIAL use only !! A spooky Picrew just in time for Halloween 🎃 Check out my other Picrews: 🌙 Space Cuties: http

[shares 2 traits with a character] this is absolutely insane we are the same person