Hello lovely people, I’ve been working on a little cleagan project for a while and I wanted to share the first chapter, hope y’all enjoy!!! ^•^
It’s also on ao3:
John was dying, he was shot and now he’s dying on his horse who’s independently prowls up a path on a mountain he’s not familiar with. He’s slumped over his mare’s neck mumbling to himself in and out of consciousness.
You see it was supposed to be an easy job, get the information from his trusty inside man (Rosie) at the stagecoach station, stake out the carriage with the rich folks in it, ambush the carriage take everything they got and ride into the sunset, see easy!
Maybe that’s why everything went haywire. He’d done this so many times without complications that he threw every caution in the wind. But sooner than later he realized his mistake in a form of a personal guard at the driver’s box.
He stopped the carriage without a hiccup that’s the easiest part anyways. He pulled his bandanna up his nose and his hat real low. He rode out from the trees to the dirt road, pistol in his right, double barrel shotgun in the left hand firing them once-twice raising hell.
Oh the screams, the frightened shrieks were music to his ears. They meant the passengers will give anything for their lives.
But his happiness was short lived as a bullet pierced through the air and flew past his ear. The armed guard started to fire at him like hell, earning the money the rich bastards were paying him and after today John was sure he got a fat bonus too!
He quickly got off his horse and dodged behind a boulder frowning in surprise, listening where the guard might be and the gunslinging began.
****
The driver was dead, John shot him dead in the left eye. He tried to intervene but he was just in the way and got in the field of bullets. John killed too many people to count. That’s just the way he lives. He never claimed to be a good man alright? But that doesn’t mean he enjoys killing, there was a time when he did, a long-long time ago. He left those days in the back of his mind, now he only kills when he has to, but most of his robberies claim lives, someone always ends up dead.
He’s an outlaw goddamnit, that’s what he’s good at. What he likes and what he has to do to survive are two different things.
He doesn’t have too much time to dwell on moral issues though he’s still being shot at. John thought, finally his luck is turning and he’ll win this duel as well when he started to hear shouting and hoof beating the ground in the distance.
Lawman.
Even in a location so remote someone somehow alerted the sheriff. John only had a moment to process the news before bullets started to fly around him. The situation is dire he knows that, he whistles for his horse who comes crashing out of the woods and he makes a break for it.
He’s running like the wind when he feels it. Cold metal piercing his skin needling a way through muscles and tendons in his right shoulder. The second one comes from ahead hitting him on the left side of his abdomen, but it doesn’t feel like it went all the way through, although it’s not like John can feel much with the adrenaline running through his veins.
He can’t spare too much attention to his wounds as he still has to get away if he wants to stay alive. He runs to his horse grabs the horn of his saddle, hoist himself up with the stirrup and gallops away as fast and as far as he can.
He’d never been shot, John was always clever with his moves, always had Fortuna on his side. It’s not like how he imagined, it’s not immediate red-hot pain flaming his body ablaze flooding into his mind making room saying ‘I’m here and you’ll be suffering’. It’s creeping up on him, slowly making his way into his consciousness like sand in an hourglass.
For a good ten minutes as he tries to lose the lawman glued to his heels he can only feel a dull ache. Another ten minutes pass on and he successfully shakes off the blood thirsty man and slows his horse down to a trot. And as his heartbeat stabilizes the pain starts to increase, so much so that he had to halt his horse to catch his breath.
He took a moment to get himself under wraps and inspected the wounds.
His shoulder was relatively in a good shape as much as a gunshot wound can be. But his abdomen was another tale. He unbuttoned his vest then lifted his shirt and ripped his long-johns apart, he gagged at the sight.
Already bruised in angry shades of purple and blue, blood flowing everywhere from such a tiny hole. John tried to apply pressure on it but the pain was too great, he got lightheaded and threw up that small amount of food he had in his stomach. He had to get help fast or he’s a goner.
He tried to remember if there was a town nearby but the blood loss was making him dazed and confused. Soon after that he passed out and woke up in the woods on his horse’s back then passed out again.
And that’s how he ended up in the middle of the mountain he was not familiar with in and out of consciousness.
****
John was slowly coming to himself as he feels his horse piking up speed. He tilts his head up to see a little homestead built with logs nested between tall trees and evergreens, a sight he would sure marvel if he were in a better shape. John tries to stay awake until his horse makes the distance to the porch of the home but his brain is too foggy.
He hears a gasp coming from afar and legs hitting the ground in a rapid pattern. John wants to sit up to see who his savior might be but he’s too weak and slips off his saddle onto the ground. He gets startled awake again by someone dropping to their knees next to him and brushing the hair out of his face. Cold fingers turn his head toward the sun and he opens his eyes.
The person in front of John is a woman, a woman whose face is so blurry. Blurry because John can’t keep his eyes open. But as he forces himself to focus he becomes aware that the person is in fact not a woman but a young man with such soft edges and features that he has to be unreal.
John is so delirious from the blood loss that he thinks he’s seeing one of God’s angels. Although he doesn’t understand why would he go to heaven after all the things he has done. He wants to, no scratch that ,he needs to touch this angel of death with the soft looking golden hair and smooth sun tanned skin. He knows if he could just only caress the pad of his finger down this angel’s face he could take away all of his sins and he can die in peace.
He reaches out to hold his personal angel’s cheek, but before he can touch him everything goes back to black.
St.Kirk Hamster 🤘🏼
Still in progress 💀
After 6 months I finally got the urge to draw again, anyways here’s a quick one for ya ❤️
(Don’t look at the hands, I absolutely can’t draw them 💀)
Oh no… my heart… it’s broken 💔💔
Hi! I was listening to this song earlier today and felt the need to have my heart broken. I was wondering if you could write something from Josh’s perspective where he’s reminiscing about your past relationship after he sees you out with a new lover and kind of plays through his thoughts and emotions in the aftermath of seeing you. Thank you so much 💕
note: I'm sorry this took me a minute, but I hope you like it! And that literally my favorite Josh picture ever.
The house was cold. Despite him having the heat on, it was still cold. Josh had made his bed permantly on the couch, not being able to bring himself to sleep in the same bed you had once laid next to him in. The last time he laid in the bed was the night after you left. He couldn’t even sleep, he kept tossing and turning, trying to remember what it felt like to have your body next to him. Your peaceful breathing that would lull him to bed, or the feeling of your icy cold feet on his calf in the middle of the night. He wondered if you were sharing your bed with someone else. If you stole your new partners pillows in the middle of the night, or if you laid your head on your new partners chest to hear their heartbeat, or if they knew what to do when you had a nightmare or would sleep walk.
Nothing was bringing him comfort, and he was all out of tears to cry, so he moved to the couch. He spent his nights watching Hairspray, your favorite movie. He always thought it was cheesy, but would smile at how excited you would get at the same parts, or would sing every song, or how you had begged him for you guys to be Link and Tracy for halloween.
“He’s superficial,” Josh complained, “He was more obsessed with his image than fighting injustice, and then sings some stupid song about being in love with Tracy after she leaves him?”
“Yes but he gives up his image to be with her, that’s what the whole last song is about!” You said.
“That still doesn’t cover up the fact-“
“You can’t stop the beat, Josh!”
He hated crying, he hated the feeling of everything closing in on him before that release of tears. It had been 6 months since you two had last seen each other, 6 months since you had broken his heart for what you said “was best” but Josh was wondering for who. He had spent most of his time in the studio, trying to pound out this new album. The guys knew not the mention you around him, but it was simply a slip up on his younger brother’s part.
“I didn’t even know what to do,” Sam said to Danny, “She was crying and sounded so upset,”
“Y/N was crying?” Josh asked, having overheard the conversation. Sam wiped his head around to see his older brother, brown eyes rimmed with red from crying earlier.
“I-I”
“Is she okay?”
“I’m not sure, she said something about Alex, her boyfriend, and getting into a fight,” Sam said and Josh couldn’t hear anymore. He walked out of the studio and into the bathroom. He gripped the sides of the sink and did his best to fight back his tears, but it was no use. Every bad situation was running through his head, and he hated it. What if you were in trouble? What if it was your anxiety? What if this Alex dude did something to you? Did this Alex dude know how to help you through your panic attacks? Did he hold you while you cried and fought with your inner demons?
That stupid song he had thought he deleted from his phone came around to haunt him. He was never really a Prince fan, but you loved the song Purple Rain. You had dragged him to listen to the song as you guys danced in the back yard. Josh laughed as you twirled around the yard, singing at the tops of your lungs. He had grabbed his camera, and recorded you. But now, that song was like nails on the chalk board. He wanted to pick up the stupid record player and smash it to pieces, having enough of the party his brothers dragged him too. Had you overplayed the song for him? Did he get to see you let go and dance around like no one was watching? Was he doing the things that Josh used to?
It had been 14 months and 7 days. That’s how long it had been since Josh had heard or seen you. He had known you had moved on, it was clear on your social media. Pictures of your new life while the ones of your old life were gone. Fans had stopped asking him where you were, and stopped making assumptions of what had happened. It was clear to everyone, YOU had broken Josh’s heart. You were the enemy to the peaceful army, you were the one they should hate. When in reality, Josh blamed himself for what had happened between the two of you. He simply had too much love to give, and didn’t give you enough. He thought he made the right choice, pushing you away, forcing you to walk out to fulfill a life he didn’t think he could ever give you. And to seal the deal, he gave his body to someone else, just to make sure you were hurt enough to not fight to come back.
Josh had a small feeling that you would come to the show tonight. You had told him that your dream was always to go to a concert at the famous Troubadour, and here they were, playing in your city, at your favorite spot. It took him a while to find out where you had gone, you fled Nashville, your parents denied that you moved to back to Michigan, so that only meant you followed your heart to the coast. Jake had briefly mentioned you posted an instagram story of you outside the venue, your boyfriend’s smiling face in it too. Josh couldn’t help but try and scan the audience for you. You felt some guilt, you knew you shouldn’t have dragged your current boyfriend to your ex’s show. It was almost like a slap in the face to him, a ‘look what she used to have’ type of thing. Alex had expressed his feelings about going to the show, dragging his feet, but he would do anything to make you happy, cause deep down, he knew you weren’t in love with him, no, you were in love with the idea of being loved. The idea of having someone to warm the vacant side of the bed, someone to hold on the cold nights, someone to help you forget about the man who had torn your heart apart.
Josh couldn’t sleep, his eyes focused on the dark ceiling above him, and the loud sounds of Sam and whoever he had brought back to his hotel room, filtered through the wall. Josh’s mind couldn’t help but wonder if you let him touch you like he used to. You had given yourself to Josh, letting him be the first man to ever touch you in such an intimate way. You had let your guard down, and let Josh see all of you. He had worshiped your body, making you feel comfortable and loved. The feeling that he left your body was complete euphoria, something you couldn’t even describe in words. Josh wondered, was that what you felt now? Or did you fake it every time he touched you? Did you think of Josh’s body, his hands, his eyes, his mouth while your new partner touched you? Did you whisper the same words or make the same sounds for him? Josh wished it could’ve been him instead, him laying next to you, touching you, loving you.
It took all of Josh’s strength to slide on that call. But he did anyway. He felt like crying when he heard your voice come through the receiver. It was like hearing gold, hearing honey, melting away any tension that he had. You always had that effect on him, you still do have that effect on him.
“Y/N, hey, how are you?” He asked.
“I’m good, I was just wondering if you got the invite I sent for Sam’s surprise party,” You asked and Josh sighed. He had gotten the invite, he just didn’t know how to respond. He was waiting a couple of days, trying not to jump the gun and seem desperate to respond to your text.
“I did,” Josh answered, “Of course I’ll be there, I was just gonna ask if you needed help with anything?”
“If you’re willing,” He could basically hear your smile, “I want to apologize, Josh,”
“Why are you apologizing? I was the one who fucked up,” He said.
“I just left, without telling you. I just disappeared,”
“You didn’t leave without reason though,” He sighed, “Just tell me, does he do the things I used to?”
He could hear you pause and then take a deep breath. He heard you sniffle, he could tell you were crying, “He does, Josh, and-and more.”
“Jake heard from your dad he proposed, congrats,”
“He did,” You said, fiddling with the ring on your finger, “But he’s not you Josh. We might do the things you and I used to do, but it won’t ever be the same.” You paused and then sighed, “I gotta go Josh,” Josh nodded even though you couldn’t see him, “I love you, Josh. I always have.”
“I love you too, Y/N.”
That night as Josh laid in his bed, the images of him proposing to you, marrying you, having kids with you, and ultimately dying next to you, filled his head. He just wished he could do the things like you used to.
I woke up saw this and I fainted.
I’ll be spending the day in my enclosure reading this 🖤🖤
There is a coyote who follows John Egan through the scrublands of New Mexico. A pale-eyed, pale-furred, washed-out shape against the desert night. Limbs too long and paws dexterous as it lopes just out of sight. Sometimes it stood upright, mouth lolling open wet and pink and full of teeth. Sometimes it is a man too, still furred and broken-limbed but with a maw that could almost form words and hips that narrowed delicately.
It is never human, but sometimes it is a man. -- A spooky oooky ghosty Halloween fic. A larger trigger list will be contained inside!
80’s and 90’s Kirk Hammett is peak beauty, change my mind
(Not that I don’t like daddy Hammett.. just saying 😏🥵)
Pfff Chile….. I knew I had to see him without the 😸tickler <3
And now I don’t know how to feel 💀
I thought he’s gonna look a bit more like Jake. Who’s this?! He’s still my man tho 💁🏼♀️❤️🔥💍
[Original pic credit to owner]
have a life ruiner for your evening
Look me in the eyes and tell me that this man is not in love…
this is so disgustingly endearing I'm about to throw up in my mouth. I'm unfortunately dead serious about it too
Real
Release me from this torment
Hope you like it or whatever 🙃✨ @twentyonepilots @tylerrjoseph @joshuadun #cliqueart #cliqueartwork #trench (helyszín: Pomáz) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5U68f6FlKe/?igshid=khxfx3kki7lq
We shouldn’t be scared to be ourselves but we are. Just because society is fucked up and we’re stuck in the most judgmental world
73 posts