There's So Many Layers To This Whole Scene But This Exchange In Particular. When Experiencing The Story

There's So Many Layers To This Whole Scene But This Exchange In Particular. When Experiencing The Story
There's So Many Layers To This Whole Scene But This Exchange In Particular. When Experiencing The Story
There's So Many Layers To This Whole Scene But This Exchange In Particular. When Experiencing The Story

There's so many layers to this whole scene but this exchange in particular. When experiencing the story for the first time, it's obvious that the attention is going to be directed to the reveal of Dazai having been Akutagawa's mentor, a fact up to this point unknown to the audience. But on a second rewatch, and knowing everything we know about Akutagawa and Dazai's relationship… I feel like the thing that might have actually sent Akutagawa over the edge might be Dazai simply addressing Akutagawa as his former superior; Akutagawa being someone he doesn't recognize anymore. Whereas after all those years (and after this scene, too) Akutagawa has kept considering Dazai to be his one and only mentor still. Here, Dazai saying that he's his past mentor must have came as experiencing the trauma of abandonment all over again for Akutagawa. Which might explain why it's something that pushed Akutagawa's most hurting buttons so much, to the point he'd even retaliate by punching his beloved mentor and most respected person.

About that, i really like how physical Akutagawa's reaction is during this scene. He punches Dazai twice. And to me it really uses to express how conflictual and oxymoronic Akutagawa's state of mind is. He loves Dazai, but he's also enraged at him, feeling so betrayed for having been left alone without a word, all those years. He craves his recognition, but right here and now even that can't placate the relentless rage boiling inside him. The overwhelming feeling of frustration for himself before anyone else, because it's his fault for being so weak and incompetent that Dazai left him behind; and yet he can't help but take that frustration out on Dazai himself, symbolizing just how overbearing Akutagawa's emotions are, how he's not in control of them. I just think this scene is neat.

More Posts from Theghostinabadbook and Others

4 months ago

can we talk about the fact that shanks probably goes to elbaf so frequently because he misses gaban and wants to visit him? 🥺 and we know that he met with rayleigh at some point too a few years ago kajdkans he misses his dads so much 😭😭


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2 months ago

kunikida had the most wild time in dazai’s entrance exam like imagine being under the stress of working at a dangerous detective agency AND doing math tutoring at the tender sensitive age of 20 years old and suddenly your boss throws a guy at you who is the BIGGEST walking red flag and has no recorded background or history and just happened to meet a really important government guy at a bar and land a job at your workplace and is obsessed with suicide and tries to kill himself at work and has detailed knowledge of the human organ trafficking business and your boss is like “well, he’s your problem now, if he gives you bad vibes just shoot him in the head if not I want to know if you’d recommend him as our newest employee. okay bye”


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5 months ago

BSD ch. 121 spoilers undercut

BSD Ch. 121 Spoilers Undercut

The more Fyodor seems to very intentionally torture Atsushi the more certain I am that he's trying to push Atsushi into a certain psychological state of mind needed to act as the Bookmark. This one panel stood out to me cause it seemed like Fyodor was trying coax this specific reaction out of him. I don't think he's just taking immense pleasure from Atsushi's suffering for the fun of it, I think he wants him angry. He wants him broken. He wants...well something from Atsushi which is why he keeps pushing.

He's made sure that Atsushi bore witness to the deaths of everyone he cared about. He ripped up the hope of saving him right in his face. And in the very next scene he also commands Ame no Gozen to kill Akutagawa as well. He's very much trying to provoke something out of Atsushi. The tiger itself maybe?


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3 months ago

Can I talk about the fact Akutagawa doesn’t understand why Atsushi saved him, even though he did the exact same thing for Atsushi. Him using the word 'protect' rather than save is also so powerful to me because that's inherently what Akutagawa always has been- a protector. He was born with his ability and he protected his sister, the other kids in the slums with it. He sacrificed himself so Atsushi could leave the ship. And now, we've yet to see how Bram's wish will play out, but he was asked to protect Aya. Rashomon is shaped like knight armour on him at this exact moment.

And yet he can't understand why someone would do the same for him???? Absolutely INSANE. He's spent so long protecting others and then trying to better himself for approval, to be able to survive on his own by sheer violence that he can't fathom anyone doing the same for him. It was probably the same when Higuchi and the black lizards saved him when he was comatose.

And likely, he knows Atsushi views him as immoral and his actions as abhorrent, and is stuck on the fact Atsushi has had a sudden switch (sudden to him) in such a huge way that he'd die for him, since Atsushi has never been shy about telling Akutagawa just what he thinks of him. He can’t fathom Atsushi seeing his violence and hatred toward him and knowing him so deeply without understanding him and also choosing to save him.

Asagiri you're insane for this truly.


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4 months ago
Red Wine Supernovaaa ❤️🧡🤍🩷

red wine supernovaaa ❤️🧡🤍🩷


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5 months ago
All Blue 🐠🐟

All blue 🐠🐟


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4 months ago

Just saw a comment that said in that moment Akutugawa realised someone thought he deserved to live.

I’m done.

No because… because Akutugawa like Atsushi has always wanted that kind of approval.

And Atsushi may not have died but even he knew it was all a hunch at that point when he pushed Akutugawa aside.

He saved him.

Used his own words against him because back on the boat Akutugawa decided that Atsushi deserved to live.

And now Atsushi’s decided he should too.


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theghostinabadbook - Bsd altered my brain chemistry
Bsd altered my brain chemistry

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