Ways I Have Tricked People Into Thinking I Am Competent:

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

Ways I Have Tricked People Into Thinking I Am Competent:

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best

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thedudesareawake

5 years ago

So People Are Making Different Videos For You To Use In Uncomfortable Situations!

So people are making different videos for you to use in uncomfortable situations!

The majority of the Uber ones mention in some way that they have your location on. Some you would pretend are messages someone left on your phone. Some have a script for you to follow along to on screen! Some are specific to who are calling you!

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thedudesareawake

5 years ago

For the record while ATLA is an excellent show and Zukos redemption arc was perfectly paced, I would kill to have had Zuko join the Gaang at the end of book two, because the first half of book three would have been the funniest thing on the planet. Like. Just picture it. A bunch of unsupervised teenagers travelling undercover through enemy territory, trying to blend in… and the only people who have even been there before are 1. A guy who hasnt been there in a century, and 2. The former crown prince who has literally never spoken to a fire nation citizen who wasnt nobility, military, or one of his servants.

Like. Neither of them have any idea what they’re doing, or how normal fire nation citizens act, but they’re pretty sure the other one is wrong. Rest of the gaang knows even less. No adults. Zuko and Aang getting into a shouting debate over the finer points of fire nation culture is a nightly event. They are both so wrong, and so, so awkward

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thedudesareawake

5 years ago

“ & that’s why they mad” 😭😂

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thedudesareawake

2 years ago

The double standard in the fandom with blaming all sorts of shit on All Might and praising Aizawa for being the «best teacher ever» never falls to astound me.

How is being super apathetic, using manipulation tactics and lies on students, and being generally very uninterested in them so much better than All Might?

He doesn’t want the kids in the war any more than Aizawa does, and still all I see is «Aizawa never wanted the kids to fight and now he’d watching them die waaah» and «All Might really sent these kids to war huh???» from the same people like what

All Might spends a lot of time on Izuku ofc, but how is that different than what Aizawa does for Shinsou?

All Might is great at cheering on all the kids. He took the time to really see and understand Bakugo.

He tries to be there for Shouto with the family issues.

Your little fanon version of secretly supersoft Aizawa isn’t real, and neither is All Might the Terrible.

They’re both flawed characters who’s doing their best, but one of them is a stereotypical hot tired man, so nobody bats an eye at him.

also, don’t get me fucking started on the fact that Aizawa never seemed to notice anything is off about Shouto.

People always includes it in fics, but he never ever mentions it.

As a teacher, it should be pretty obvious that something was wrong, and even if he obviously couldn’t take Shouto out of Endevours house, he could have done SOMETHING.

Talked to him. Anything.

And I know he is traumatized. I get it. But so is All Might. And Present Mic. And Midnight.

Everyone handles trauma differently, but if your refusal to deal with it affects your ability to be compassionate and ignore your own prejudice (like how he treated Izuku vs Shinsou based on his own experience when he had no idea how hard Izuku worked or what he had been trough) maybe you should’t be a teacher.

Again, the fact that he didn’t react to how Izuku clearly had very little control over his quirk and how he kept hurting himself???

I just think he is a very flawed character, and not half as great a teacher as the fandom wants him to be.

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thedudesareawake

5 years ago