The Batkids As Rogues

How to Take Notes from a Textbook

I’m currently facing the dilemma of how to take notes from a textbook. It’s hard to know where to begin or what’s the best information I need to really understand the material I’m reading. I have gathered tips and resources to better decide the best method to use the textbook most effectively.

-Preview. Glance over charts or photos used on the pages. Read study questions or summaries that might be given at the end of the chunk of pages. It preps me for the type of reading I will do and to think about the questions as I read. 

-Read actively. Don’t take notes or highlight as you read. Read a short section before you stop to take notes and highlight. Your first step after you read the paragraph is to highlight a phrase or two that were the important parts that you’ll need to know for future reference. Also, go to the margins (or your post-its) and start writing a question or two for the paragraph. When you’re done with the entire section, go back and try to answer these questions without looking at the book. If you can answer it, you are doing well on recalling that paragraph. This is also a good time to make some notes for class.

-Review. At the end of the reading, write a summary (in your own words) of what you just read. It helps to understand what you retained from the reading and highlight parts you need to review. I also like to go back and try to answer those questions I made in the margin again. The BEST thing I like to do is to answer the comprehension at the end of the chapter. Each textbook has one. Answer those and, if you’re unsure of the answer, ask them during class!

Other tips:

-Try to keep your notes in your own words.

-If something is not making sense, try reading it out loud. That can often help you process the material in a new way.

-Multiply the number of pages you have to read by 5 minutes. That is the amount of time the average college student needs to spend on their reading assignment.

-Writing in the book itself is highly recommended, but if you have some reason for not doing that, you might also want post-its and use those on each page in place of writing in the book.

Resources:

Write Notes, Not Textbooks

How to Take Notes from a Textbook

Justine G. Feather- HOW I TAKE NOTES

How the Hashira view each other [Kimetsu no Yaiba Fanbook 2]

Dear Diary,

Today I cried for Susan Pevensie’s loss today.

Elizabeth: you’re so arrogant! I would never marry you.

Darcy, under his breath: enemies to lovers, slow burn, 300k words, angst to fluff—

EMAIL BOOK CLUBS MASTERLIST !!!

alright, there are a lot of email book clubs now, so here's ALL of them, in one convenient list

NOTE: IF YOU FIND MORE PLEASE SEND !!! put them in the notes, my ask box, dm them to me, just notify me in SOME way and i will edit this base post so they all remain in one place

without further ado:

Dracula Daily - dracula, the one that started it all || real time

may 3, 2022 - november 10, 2022

Whale Weekly - moby dick || real time

starting december 2022, continuing for 3 years

Frankenstein Weekly - frankenstein || wednesdays and sundays

begins february 1, 2023

Letters from Watson - sherlock holmes

begins january 1, 2023

What Manner of Man - a new original work by st john starling (its gay vampires click the link)

begins january 2023

Edgar Allen Poe Daily - the works of edgar allen poe || weekdays where dracula daily does not post

began may 13, 2022

The Penny Dreadful - penny dreadful

begins TBA

Ovid Daily - the works of p. ovidius naso (note: these are in latin but they contain a translation)

dates depend on the in-progress work (from what i can tell)

Werther Rewritten - the sorrows of young werther, slightly modernized || real time

may 4, 2022 - christmas 2023

The Sorrows Of Young Werther - the original of the above || you pick the dates

from what i can tell, it begins when you subscribe and you pick the frequency of emails

Carmilla Quarterly - carmilla, just click the link its lesbian vampires

begins TBA

Literary Letters - lesser known public domain works

begins november 12, 2022

Pride and Prejudice Weekly - working title, im doing pride and prejudice now || mondays and fridays

march 10, 2023 - october 6, 2023

The Woman In White Weekly - the woman in white || sundays

begins july 31, 2022

Musketeers Daily - the three musketeers

begins march 14, 2023

LOTR Newsletter - lord of the rings || real time (i think)

september 15, 2022 - march 2023

Rizal Weekly - jose rizal's works (these are in filipino, i don't see a full translation but please correct me if im wrong)

began may 26, 2022

Divine Comedy Weekly - dante's divine comedy || begins on good friday, then updates tuesdays and thursdays

april 7, 2023 - march 5, 2024

Austen Weekly - jane austen's works

find more info on the posting schedule here

The Case Files Of Sheridan Bell - new original fantasy detective novels from em rowene

begins may 29, 2022

Big Dalloway Energy - mrs. dalloway by virginia woolfe || commentary encouraged

begins june 1, 2022

Nightly Knights - excerpts from arthurian texts

posted at random

Samuel Pepys's Diary - daily entries from samuel pepys's diary

the site posts a new entry at the end of each day

Dangerous Liaisons Daily - dangerous liaisons || real time

august 3rd, 2022 - january 14, 2023

Les Chroniques de Choderlos - dangerous liaisons, but in the original french || real time

august 3rd, 2022 - january 14, 2023

Wilde Weekly - oscar wilde's works

begins june 12, 2022

Logbooks of the HE-631-CORDELIA - a new original sci-fi series about a pilot and her robot by loreley

begins july 21, 2022

Les Mis Letters - les misérables || daily

january 1, 2023 - december 31, 2023

The Worst Journey in the World - r.f. scott's diaries + supplemental readings from cherry-garrard’s the worst journey in the world and others’ diaries

intro began july 12, 2022. diary entries begin november 25, 2022, and end in march, 2024

Daily Kafka - franz kafka's letters

began august 31, 2022

I’ve got. All kinds of bad feelings about this. They literally put a kid on the front lines for the purpose of tanking a specific knock out weapon and I get it’s a good match up but also? He’s like 16? He’s a teenager and he’s terrified out of his mind.

You know what this reminds me of? The very first chapter when Bakugou was being attacked by the slime villain

Familiar isn’t it? We got to wait for the right quirk and let this kid fucking die in the mean time. Here they got the right quirk but it’s in a kid and he might die in the meantime.

Like I’ve been giving shit to the Villain Liberation Army about their fucked up ideals but I can’t deny it’s really just an extreme fast forward of what this society is already headed towards. And by extreme I mean kinda accelerated. This society will fucking fall apart without “the right quirks” and the heroes perpetuate it too, we’ve seen where it fails so many times now with Izuku’s quirklessness, with Shinsou, and fast forward to Kaminari here who couldn’t really say no since the entire plan hinged on a teenager absorbing the power of a fully grown, willing to kill zealot.

All this is knowing that taking too much electricity will literally fry his brain. (But that’s a gag right like All Might coughing up blood from an old injury that took out a fair amount of his organs is a gag too.)

But it’s okay because he gets his moment of badassery right? Every thing is fine as long as they look cool doing it and win (or lose making a grande finale and leave mourning in their wake cough Water Hose Duo and Koufa cough). That’s what All Might did too.

What really kills me is how through the entire chapter Kaminari keeps looking backwards at where his friends are in the “safe zone.” We get multiple panels where he’s looking around and all the heroes are charging forward and it’s so obvious that he’s scared and confused. He’s way in over his head, he’s been at hero school for less than a year and now he’s on the front lines supposed to be defending the very heroes he put his hope and trust in with his life.

Look at the composition of these two panels. Which side is the dialogue really addressing? What’s wrong with your society that a single disbeliever will bring it down? Who’s making children put their lives on the line to fight for an ideal they don’t really understand?

These are zealot words, fighting words, and smack dab in the middle is this kid who’s basically being raised in a military institution to become another soldier to die for them.

This is what being a hero means in this society.

Take this with you

Naruto's Great Shinobi Wars— aka, Masashi Kishimoto's fucked-up timeline

So. The Great Shinobi Wars are a mess and a half. 

Assuming that the ages given in the official databooks makes sense and that Kishimoto is consistent in his character design when it comes to indications of age (neither of which have proven to be reliable metrics but we gotta start SOMEWHERE), let’s work backwards.

It’s implied that the Third Great Shinobi War ends around the time that Minato became the Fourth Hokage, because of why Hiruzen stepped down: to take the blame of ending the unfruitful campaign and accepting the sunk cost rather than continuing to throw resources into pursuing the war further (which is what Danzo and presumably a fair number of people wanted). Therefore, the Third War had to have ended before Minato and Kushina died and  Naruto was born.

Okay, so Minato was probably the shortest-reigning Hokage of all time. Weird, but not that weird.

We also know that the Third Shinobi War only ended after Kirigakure kidnapped Rin and stuffed the Three-Tails inside her à la Trojan Horse, which occurs several months after the Kannabi Bridge mission featured in Kakashi Gaiden, which in turn takes place when Kakashi is 12. Considering he's listed as age 26 going on 27 in the events of Part One, this event must have happened about three years before Naruto was born.

But the war couldn't have ended before Itachi at age 4 was brought along by his father Fugaku to witness the carnage of a battlefield. Since he was 5 when Sasuke and Naruto were born, that means the Third Great Shinobi War didn’t end until after the 9th of June in the year before Naruto’s birth.

The real question is, how long did the war last?

With the new NARUTOP 99 one-shot, Naruto Gaiden: Whirlwind Within the Vortex, we get this one crucial panel.

Kakashi only met Gai once they enrolled into the Academy, and neither of these three kiddos have forehead protectors [hitai-ate] in this image. We know that Kakashi graduated from the Academy as a genin at the age of 5, and that Kakashi is 26 going on 27 in Part One of Naruto. Therefore, Whirlwind in the Vortex must take place around two decades before Part One.

That said, nowhere in this one-shot is it explicitly mentioned which war is being fought. We only know that the conflict involves Konoha and Iwa on opposite sides, which is true of the Third War, yes, but is by no means specifically unique to the Third War. Guess this scene needs to be tabled.

Okay, so what else happened during the Third War?

Ao steals a byakugan from a member of the Hyuga clan. Sasori was out there doing something— likely fighting a defensive front, going by his "Red Sands" [Akasuna] moniker. The Third Tsuchikage reluctantly accepts a peace treaty between Iwa and Konoha delivered by the senior Ino-Shika-Cho trio with the Fourth Kazekage supervising (because they're doing it along the border to the Land of Wind for some reason), with a major contributing factor to his decision being the retreat of a thousand Iwa-nin after Minato said "It's flashin' time" and Yellow-Flashed all over those guys a while before that. The Third Raikage was killed after fighting for three consecutive days in order to cover the retreat of his troops against a large force of an unknown nationality, but most likely either Konoha or Iwa, considering the geography and what little we know of political tensions between the villages. Some time before this, Minato encounters the then-future Fourth Raikage and Killer B and proves himself faster than the lightning cloak by out-speeding them using the Flying Thunder God.

Great. Fantastic. Doesn't tell us anything about when the Third War actually started. Does the wiki have anything?

Because of a decline in national power, the reign of the Five Great Shinobi Countries was crumbling. Along their borders, skirmishes with smaller nations broke out all the time. The prolonged conflicts gradually spread their flames far and wide, until at last it developed into an all-out war.

Fuck's sake, fine, let's also table that. What about the Second War?

Believe it or not, we actually have even less about this one. Sure, there are a lot of major players involved— the Ame orphans were found by the Legendary Sannin and eventually trained by Jiraiya, said Legendary Sannin got their moniker from fighting Hanzo, Hatake Sakumo probably earned his moniker as the "White Fang" and killed Sasori's parents during this time, Chiyo was having her poison-vs-cure production contest with Tsunade, Tsunade's lover Kato Dan died (likely fighting Iwa, based on the nature of his injury), and Tsunade's little brother Nawaki died. It's also highly likely that Kumo's attempt to kidnap Kushina happened around this time, seeing as Minato and Kushina were both Academy-age, aka no more than twelve years old.

And of course, we know fuck-all about everyone's ages at this time— except for Sasori.

This is Studio Pierrot's character reference sheet for the young Sasori that we see in the flashback after his parents have been killed. Now, I know this image isn't of great quality, but you know what his height is listed as? Either 115 cm or 118 cm. I'm willing to bet that Sasori was intended to be around 6 or 7 years old, here, i.e. 28 or 29 years before his appearance in Shippuden whereupon his age is listed as 35. Doing a bit of arithmetic reveals that this would have been 11 to 12 years before Naruto's birth. This lines up with Minato's age— he and Kushina were both still in the Academy when Kumo tried to kidnap Kushina, aka no more than 12 years old, and we know that Minato died when he was age 24.

Okay, so now we're getting somewhere! The Second Great Shinobi War ended at the earliest around a dozen years before Naruto's birth, and the Third Great Shinobi War ended about a year before that. How about the First War?

This is my favourite one to talk about, actually, because of the sheer chaos of it. This is the war in which the hidden villages realized they maybe shouldn't keep sending their leaders out onto the battlefield because you know what happened? So many fucking Kage died, and their militaries were left scrambling in the wake.

The Second Hokage, Senju Tobirama, is implied to have croaked last among all of the Kage who did die— killed by the Gold and Silver Brothers (or at least the platoon that the two were infamous for having led). Second Tsuchikage Muu assumes it was Tobirama who reanimated him and his three peers during that one scene during the Fourth Great Shinobi War, after all.

The Second Tsuchikage and Second Mizukage killed each other, which is weird if you consider how far away the Land of Earth and the Land of Water are from each other, but... eh.

The First Raikage died sometime before the failed attempt at a peace treaty between Kumo and Konoha, because it's the Second Raikage who's depicted next to Tobirama in this panel addressing that:

Likewise, the First Tsuchikage Ishikawa, First Mizukage Byakuren, and First Hokage Senju Hashirama must have all died prior to the above events. The only one who we don't know for sure died in this war is the First Kazekage Reto, but come on. Reto is listed to have been age 58 at the time of his death, and Kishimoto clearly drew him with those lines around his eyes that he tends to only give characters who are 30 or older. Considering all the other First Kage died in this war and the twenty years of peace that supposedly followed, I think we can say that Reto did as well.

The war's outbreak plunged the world into a chaos not seen since the end of the Warring States Period, for which reason there are very few records about the war. According to Ōnoki, the war was a result of countries and their hidden villages taking resources from other countries and other hidden villages; Madara Uchiha's demand that Iwagakure be subservient to Konohagakure is implied to be the first such example of this.

The first sentence from this excerpt implies that there was a period of peace following the founding of the hidden villages, before the First Great Shinobi War broke out.

Now we have our basic information! Wonderful! Let me toss together a basic timeline using this info and see what we can do about the gaps.

[Year 1]

Konohagakure is founded.

Because of course they were the first hidden village, right? At least, we're never given any indication that there was another before them that Madara and Hashirama were inspired by, so long as you ignore anime filler. The feudal lords [daimyo] of nearby nations would logically have felt threatened at this unity of what had once been splintered, scattered clans of shinobi, now working together for Fire's feudal lord and stronger for it, so the order for shinobi to unify is given out in other lands as well. It's very likely that the countries which ended up being part of the Five Great Nations were the first five to do so while the rest scrambled and lost land to this new, stronger system of fighting forces. We can also assume that Uzushio was another of the earlier ones, due to the formation of their allyship with Konoha under Uzumaki Ashina and Senju Hashirama's leaderships, respectively.

The Warring States era ends.

[Year 3]

The future Third Tsuchikage, Onoki, is born as the grandson of the First Tsuchikage, Ishikawa. His age is listed as 79 during Shippuden.

[Year 8]

[10] Chiyo (Sunagakure elder) is born. Her age is listed as 73 during Shippuden, but every single one of her appearances takes place before what would have been her birthday that year.

[Year 9]

[02] The future Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, is born to the Sarutobi clan head Sarutobi Sasuke.

[Year 10]

[01] Ebizo (Sunagakure elder and Chiyo's younger brother) is born. His age is listed as 72 during Shippuden.

[Year 15]

Uchiha Madara (somewhere in his 30s, going off of the lines under his eyes) travels to Iwa to proclaim Konoha's superiority.  The then-future Second Tsuchikage Muu and his student Onoki (who is drawn to look around the same age as the Rookie Nine when they first graduate, ergo 12 is a reasonable estimate of age) fight Madara. This is based on both Onoki's flashback and Madara's recognition of Onoki as an established shinobi with a moniker, "Fence-Sitter", during the Fourth Great Shinobi War.

Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama (both in their 30s, both with the age-lines around their eyes) clash, seemingly killing Madara and creating the Valley of the End.

[Year 16] 

The first Five Kage Summit is held.

In attendance are First Hokage Senju Hashirama and Senju Tobirama from Konoha, First Kazekage Reto and Shamon from Suna, First Tsuchikage Ishikawa and Muu from Iwa, First Raikage A and… A from Kumo, and First Mizukage Byakuren and the unnamed future Third Mizukage from Kiri.

As a gesture of goodwill, Konoha divides the captured tailed beasts to the other nations, based on how much they’re willing to pay: the Three-Tails and Six-Tails to Kiri, the Four-Tails and Five-Tails to Iwa, the Two-tails and Eight-Tails to Kumo. The Nine-Tails is kept within Konoha. It's unknown what happened to the Seven-Tails and when or how it ended up with Takigakure.

Due to Suna having already captured the Ichibi on their own, the First Kazekage demands a plot of fertile land and thirty percent of the monetary value from what the other nations would pay instead of a tailed beast. This enrages several of the other attendees to the point of threatening war, which is not followed through on immediately but gives rise to high tensions between the five major hidden villages. 

Sometime around this period, a shinobi from Takigakure named Kakazu (in his 20s) is ordered to assassinate Hashirama but fails. His age in Shippuden is given as 91. I assume this attempt takes place while Madara is out of the picture for whatever reason due to his utter lack of mentioning the Uchiha, because we all know that dramatic bastard wouldn't not fight Kakuzu given the circumstance.

[Year 16≥]

The First Great Shinobi War begins.

We can extrapolate that at the very least, Konoha was fighting Kumo and Iwa was fighting Kiri. Due to the wiki calling this a war over resources and Suna's prior statements during the Five Kage Summit, they were most probably also involved, but to what degree and against who I can't say.

The First Tsuchikage Ishikawa is killed; Muu is instated as the Second Tsuchikage.

The First Mizukage Yamashiro Byakuren is killed; Hozuki Gengetsu is instated as the Second Mizukage.

The First Raikage is killed; A (the First Raikage’s aide during the first Five Kage Summit) is instated as the Second Raikage.

First Kazekage Reto (58) is assassinated by an unknown party for unknown reasons. Shamon is instated as the Second Kazekage. During his reign, Shamon funnels considerable funding into expanding and improving the Puppet Brigade in order to decrease the casualties of Suna's flesh-and-blood shinobi.

[Year 27]

[08] The future Fifth Hokage, Senju Tsunade, is born as the granddaughter of First Hokage Senju Hashirama.

[10] Orochimaru is born.

[11] Jiraiya is born.

[Year 29≥]

First Hokage Senju Hashirama dies to causes that are never revealed in canon. Senju Tobirama is instated as the Second Hokage. 

Second Hokage Tobirama and Second Raikage A meet to discuss a peace treaty, but are interrupted by a rebel Kumo faction led by the Gold and Silver Brothers. It's possible that the Second Raikage died during this event— he's really never mentioned chronologically after this point. I assume this meeting took place after Hashirama's death because the Fourth Raikage refers to Tobirama by his Kage title when describing these events in chapter 527 of the manga, but it's also possible that A only did so out of respect and not because Tobirama was actually Hokage at the time. Stick this event wherever in the timeline, I guess.

The Second Tsuchikage Muu (30≥) and Second Mizukage Hozuki (30≥) Gengetsu kill each other in battle. Onoki (20s) and the First Mizukage's unnamed aide from the first Five Kage Summit are instated as the Third Tsuchikage and the Third Mizukage, respectively.

The future Third Kazekage is born.

Roshi, the Four-Tails' jinchuuriki, is probably also born around this time, considering he appears as an adult while fighting Jiraiya and Minato during Naruto Gaiden: Whirlwind in the Vortex.

Second Hokage Tobirama (late 40s, maybe?) is killed. Sarutobi Hiruzen (20s) is instated as the Third Hokage.

[Year 30≤]

The First Great Shinobi War ends.

The Five Great Nations sign an armistice. Note that the First and Second Great Shinobi Wars have been stated by the wiki to reflect the First and Second World Wars from real life, and so does this armistice, which allows for twenty years of peace in accordance to the irl armistice.

Second Kazekage Shamon researches Tailed Beasts with the intent to gain mastery over the Shukaku. It's likely that no perfect jinchuuriki exists at this point in time.

[Year 38]

[03] The future Fourth Kazekage, Rasa, is born.

It's also likely that Pakura of the Scorch Release was also born around this time.  

[Year 40] Akimichi Choza, Yamanaka Inoichi, and Nara Shikaku are born in Konohagakure.

[Year 41] [01] The future Fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato, is born.

[06] The future Fourth Raikage, A, is born as the oldest and only biological son of the Third Raikage, A.

[07] The eventual second jinchuuriki of the Nine-Tails, Uzumaki Kushina, is born.

[Year 43]

[05] Yashamaru is born. Here's a surprise: he and his sister Karura are canonically NOT twins, although it should be noted that he is the younger of the two.

[Year 45]

The Ame Orphans— Yahiko, Konan, and Uzumaki Nagato— are born. 

[Year 46] [05] The eventual jinchuuriki of the Eight-Tails, Killer B, is born.

[08] Namiashi Raidou is born.

[11] Sasori is born. Despite being listed as age 35 in Shippuden, his appearance occurs before his birthday that year, and so I have him as being born in Year 46 instead of Year 47.

Sometime between now and Kushina's succession of Mito as the Nine-Tails' jinchuuriki, Uzushiogakure falls. We know this because of Mito's dialogue with Kushina during a flashback from Naruto Gaiden: Whirlwind in the Vortex in which Mito says that the Uzumaki clan is scattered.

[Year 48]

[07] Shiranui Genma is born.

[Year 50]

The Second Great Shinobi War begins 

Many of the minor countries are ravaged as they become battlegrounds for the other Great Nations during this war. Uzushiogakure has already fallen at this point, even before the official beginning of this war, one of the inciting incidents.

We know that Suna and Konoha were fighting because of Chiyo and Tsunade's back-and-forth. By virtue of the country that Amegakure is located in being a major battleground, Suna and Konoha were also fighting Ame.

Konoha and Iwa were also implied to have been fighting, based on how fearfully those Iwa-nin were referring Konoha's White Fang, Hatake Sakumo, during the Kannabi Bridge Mission from the Third War. Presumably, Sakumo got that moniker during the Second War, seeing as he's likely around the same age as the Sannin and therefore would have been too young to fight in the First War.

The Ame Orphans become... well, orphans. Nagato's parents are specifically killed by Konoha-nin, who mistook them for combatants instead of civilians.

The Second Kazekage Shamon (50s) is assassinated sometime around this era. The unnamed Third Kazekage is instated.

[03] Ebisu is born.

[10] Sarutobi Asuma is born as one of the Third Hokage's two sons.

[11] The future second or third jinchuuriki of the Three-Tails, Nohara Rin, is born. Shizune is also born, as the niece of Tsunade's lover, Kato Dan.

[Year 51] 

[01] Maito Gai is born.

[02] Uchiha Obito is born.

[03] Morino Ibiki is born.

Namikaze Minato (10) graduates from the Shinobi Academy. Jiraiya becomes the jounin-sensei of Team 6, which is comprised of Minato, another male genin named Dekai, and a third ungendered and unnamed genin (who looks suspiciously like a member of the Uchiha clan).

[06] Yuhi Kurenai is born.

[05] The future Fifth Mizukage, Terumi Mei, is born.

[09] Hatake Kakashi is born as the son of the White Fang, Hatake Sakumo.

[Year 52]

Nagato (6) meets Yahiko and Konan (7).

Sasori's parents/Chiyo's son and daughter-in-law are killed by Hatake Sakumo.

[Year 53] 

Sasori (7) becomes a genin. 

Uzumaki Kushina (12) graduates from the Academy, and Kumogakure makes a failed attempt to kidnap Uzumaki Kushina. I'm putting this event here in the timeline because she has her forehead protector [hitai-ate] during this fiasco in the image below, and also because her shinobi identification number is #007310 compared to Minato's #006510, suggesting that she graduated after he did.

Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Jiraiya (25-26) gain their “Legendary Sannin” moniker through fighting— and being spared by— Hanzo of the Salamander in the minor country where Amegakure is located.

Nagato (7), Yahiko, and Konan (8) meet the Sannin. Jiraiya begins training them. I can only guess that Minato and the rest of Team 6 either got promoted to chunin and have thus officially disbanded or have been ditched for the time being??? We never get a chunin promotion age for Minato, but it isn't out of the realm of plausibility for a genius like him to have done so at or even before age 12. In fact, a lot of young Konoha-nin who have a record of wartime service got their chunin promotions very young (Genma at 13; Asuma at 12; Rin, Obito, and Gai at 11???).

[Year 54] 

Sasori (8) becomes a chunin. 

Maki, the eventual genin student of Pakura of the Scorch Release, is born.

[11] Gekko Hayate is born.

[Year 55]

[05] Umino Iruka is born.

[08] Yamato/Tenzo is born.

Jiraiya (28) leaves the country where Amegakure is located after three-ish years of covert ops and training Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan (10). The trio infiltrate Amagakure's shinobi system for further training and also networking to start creating Yahiko’s iteration of the Akatsuki, while Jiraiya returns to Konoha and reconnects with one of his old genin students, taking the future Fourth Hokage Namikaze Minato (14) as his apprentice. It's highly likely that Minato masters the Flying Thunder God technique around this time.

[Year 56]

[06] Utakata, the eventual jinchuuriki of the Six-Tails, is born.

The events of Naruto Gaiden: Whirlpool in the Vortex takes place. Told you we'd come back to this! Remember, Kakashi was born in Year 51, so by mid- to late-spring (considering the Japanese school year starts in the spring, not autumn), he should be familiar enough with Gai and Obito for this manga panel to be plausible.

Meaning Minato is 15 when he, Jiraiya, and the rest of Team 6 encounters Iwa's two jinchuuriki. Although they end up retreating, Minato becomes inspired by the Tailed Beast Bomb to create the Rasengan.

So now we know that this one-shot takes place during the Second War! But you know what's also implied to happen when Kakashi is age 5?

Yeah, Sakumo's thing.

Konoha's White Fang chooses to save his squad rather than complete a mission that he deems likely to fail, and upon his return, is ostracized for it. Sakumo commits seppuku in order to restore his (and by extension, Kakashi's) honor before his son even graduates from the Academy. And then—

The Second Great Shinobi War ends.

[Year 57] 

Hatake Kakashi (5, going on 6) graduates from the Academy in March.

[Year 58]

Kakashi (6, going on 7) gets promoted to chunin.

[Year 58≥] 

The Third Great Shinobi War begins. 

Essentially a continuation of the Second War, the Third seems almost like fighting for fighting’s sake. We once again have Konoha vs Iwa, Konoha vs Kumo, and Konoha vs Kiri. Sasori fighting a defensive front on his home soil (based off of his Red Sand moniker, i.e. enemy blood spilled on the sand) suggests conflict with either one of the minor countries, Iwa, and/or Konoha. I think there's a hint of Iwa vs Kumo, too, but I can't find a source for why my brain thinks that outside of speculation. If we go by an anime filler statement from Pakura during a flashback (episode 285), Suna was also fighting against Iwa and Kiri, which may explain how Suna and Konoha ended up as allies by the time of the events of Part One— the enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that.

According to said filler, this should also be around the time that...

Pakura was sent on a mission to stop Iwagakure's plans during their feud with Suna. She successfully accomplished the mission and was hailed as a hero by the village.

Also, Namikaze Minato has an encounter with the future Fourth Raikage, A, and the jinchuuriki of the Eight Tails, Killer B some time early on in this war, presumably before Minato gets his genin team based on their absence in this scene. Minato's Flying Thunder God proves to be faster than A's lightning cloak in combat.

[Year 60]

[02] Hozuki Mangetsu is born as the older brother of Hozuki Suigetsu. I chose to place this event here in the timeline after working backwards from Mangetsu's youthful teenage appearance in his reanimated form from the Fourth War, which doesn't look to be more than 17 or 18 years old. We know that he had to have died after a long enough time to master multiple of Kiri's legendary swords and gain some international renown, but also before Suigetsu ended up as one of Orochimaru's test subjects (because Suigetsu knows that his brother is dead when straight out the gate of his first appearance in Shippuden). Narratively speaking, it would be pretty cool for his reanimated self to be the same age as Suigetsu is during Shippuden, or for him and Suigetsu to have a similar age gap compared to Itachi and Sasuke.

Ebisu (10), Gai (9), Rin (9), Obito (9), Asuma (9), and Kurenai (9) graduate from the Academy, based off of the info found in the databooks. I have no idea what Kakashi (8) has been doing in the meantime (fanon likes to say that he got taken on as an apprentice by someone, usually Minato but sometimes another jounin like Aburame Shibi), but it's only now that this iteration of Team Seven is formed. As for the chunin exams... ugh. We'll get to that in a bit.

[06] Itachi Uchiha is born.

Danzo sabotages the first iteration of the Akatsuki. Yahiko (15) dies. Hanzo of the Salamander is killed by Uzumaki Nagato (15).

[Year -]

Some time between Year 60 and Year 62, a genin team comprised of Gai (10), Genma (12-13), and Ebisu (11) are cornered on a mission by the Seven Swordsmen of Kirigakure: Munashi Jinpachi’s predecessor, Hozuki Mangetsu’s predecessor, Jinin Akebino, Kushimaru Kuriarare, Raiga Kurosuki, Jūzō Biwa, and Fuguki Suikazan. Gai’s father, Might Dai, buys time for the genin to escape and kills all but the last three listed swordsmen using the Eight Gates (in the anime, that is— in the manga, it's implied that he kills all but Fuguki Suikazan, who is the only one that we see chronologically after this point in time during one of Kisame's flashbacks).

[Year 62] 

Assuming this first of two chunin exams (recall how chapter 39 of the manga mentions that Konoha holds the Chunin Exams twice a year) is held before the summer, Genma (13), Gai (11), Obito (11) and Rin (11, going on 12) are promoted to chunin. However, this is NOT the chunin exams depicted in the flashback where Kishimoto forgot about his timeline, threw in a bunch of minor characters into the background willy-nilly, and made Kakashi a chunin. In fact, you could argue that any or all of the above-mentioned promotions were doled out for excellent performance in the field rather than during an exam, even, aka a field promotion, and nothing would be contradicting you.

Sasori (15) defects from Sunagakure and becomes a rogue ninja. I'm putting this event here in the timeline because Kankuro mentions (in chapter 251 of the manga) that it's been over twenty years since Sasori left. Therefore, the Third Kazekage (30s, based on the age-lines that are drawn around his eyes) is assassinated around now as well. Rasa (24) is instated as the Fourth Kazekage. 

[08] Temari is born as the only daughter to the Fourth Kazekage, Rasa (24).

The events of Naruto Shippūden the Movie: The Lost Tower occur at this point in the timeline, since it's stated to be 20 years in the past from Shippuden. Of course, this is a non-canon movie, so it's whatever, but I thought I'd toss this in here for funsies. If you're writing a Suna-centric story like I am, roundabout now would be a fun time to have Sunagakure destroy Roran :D

[Year 63]

[05] Deidara is born, based on his listed age during Shippuden being 19.

[06] Kaguya Kimimaro is born, based on his listed age during Part One of Naruto being 15.

Team Ino-Shika-Cho (23) delivers a request for a peace treaty to Iwa shinobi on the border to the Land of Wind. Rasa (26) shows up with a large force to facilitate the exchange. 

Kakashi (12) is promoted to jounin, and the Kannabi Bridge mission takes place while Minato slaughters enough Iwa-nin for the remainder of the once thousand-strong force to retreat.

[Year -]

The Third Raikage dies from chakra exhaustion after three continuous days of fighting in order to give his troops time to retreat. His son, A, is instated as the Fourth Raikage.

Sometime in between the Kannabi Bridge mission and Minato's inauguration, Rin (13) is kidnapped by Kiri-nin, has the Three-Tails sealed inside of her, and commits suicide via Kakashi's chidori through her chest.

[Year 64]

[05] Kankuro is born as the son of Fourth Kazekage Rasa. 

[06] Itachi turns four and is led by his father Fugaku to see a battlefield.

Due to outcry from either withdrawing from the war or agreeing to terms of a peace treaty (likely the one with Iwa from earlier, but also possibly an alliance treaty with Suna that we see from OG Naruto— you'll see why Kumo's not an option here in a bit) that are viewed as unfavourable by the public, Third Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen voluntarily steps down from office. Namikaze Minato is instated as the Fourth Hokage.

[07] Hyuga Neji is born.

[11] Rock Lee is born.

The Third Great Shinobi War...

Well, it doesn't end so much as lose steam. This war was noted to be particularly bad in terms of casualties, so I wouldn't be surprised if there simply weren't enough able-bodied soldiers for a viable war effort at this point. However, it should be noted that Konoha and Kumo still have beef.

[Year 65]

[02] Hozuki Suigetsu is born.

[03] Ten Ten is born.

[05] Akimichi Chouji is born.

[06] Uzumaki Karin is born.

[07] Inuzuka Kiba and Uchiha Sasuke are born.

[09] Yamanaka Ino and Nara Shikamaru are born.

[10] Uzumaki Naruto is born. The Kyuubi is let loose on Konoha by a masked man. Fourth Hokage Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina die while sealing it away.

[12] Hyuga Hinata is born.

[Year 66]

[01] Gaara is born. His mother, Karura, dies. Aburame Shino is born.

[03] Sakura is born.

Sometime around this period, Fourth Kazekage Rasa sends Pakura of the Scorch Release to Kiri as an envoy for... reasons. It's implied that someone (Sunagakure's council, Wind Country's feudal lord, idk take your pick) isn't happy about the terms of the peace treaty that was signed between the Land of Wind and the Land of Water? Either way, Pakura is killed in an ambush by Kiri-nin and dies thinking that her village betrayed her. Suna promptly blames the death of their hero on Iwa, which could be one reason for the hostility in that one scene of a Suna-nin and Iwa-nin butting heads during the very start of the Fourth Great Shinobi War, just before Gaara gives his big speech.

Sorry, I know it's hard to tell here, but that's an Iwa-nin and Suna-nin talking smack here.

[Year 68]

[12] Neji receives the Caged Bird Seal on Hinata's third birthday. A peace treaty between Kumo and Konoha is also due to be signed that very night, only to give way to the events of the Hyuga Affair.

[Year 72]

Rasa orders Yashamaru (28-29) to test Gaara's control over the One-Tail. Gaara (6) accidentally contributes to his uncle's death, kinda? Suna seems like its economic situation takes a turn for the worse around this time (not that it was ever great), probably due in part to all the infrastructural damage caused by the One-Tail's rampaging.

[Year 78]

[03] The Rookie Nine graduate from the Academy (see: the Japanese school year ends in March).

[07] The first, second, and preliminary phases of the Chunin Exams take place.

[08] The final phase of the Chunin Exams takes place and is interrupted by Orochimaru's invasion of Konoha.

[Year 82]

Shippuden babyyyyy yeahhh (I am so done with this timeline).

“I have written a poem for a woman who rides a bus in New York City. She’s a maid, she has two shopping bags. When the bus stops abruptly, she laughs. If the bus stops slowly, she laughs. I thought, ‘Mmm, a-ha.’ Now, if you don’t know black features, you may think she’s laughing. But she wasn’t laughing. She was simply extending her lips and making a sound. I said, ‘Oh, I see.’ That’s that survival apparatus. Now, let me write about that to honor this woman who helps us to survive.” Maya Angelou: And Still I Rise (2016) dir. Rita Coburn & Bob Hercules

Me: 👌

Narrator: But things were not 👌