I Wish I Could Speak So Eloquently

I wish I could speak so eloquently

The insanity of maskers:

“Let's go out to eat, 2020 style...

1. Arrive at restaurant, fish three month old single-use surgical mask out of car's filthy cupholder (still slightly sticky from this morning's 84oz diet Pepsi).

2. Strap up with three month old single-use surgical mask.

*MAGICAL ANTI-GERM BARRIER ENGAGE!!!*

3. Proceed into restaurant, opening door with same handle grabbed by 200 people so far today.

4. Hostess has immediate seating for your woke party of three. Walk past entire restaurant of unmasked people. It's ok, they're sitting.

5. Sit down.

*SEATED ANTI-GERM FORCEFIELD ENGAGE!!!*

6. Safely within your anti-germ forcefield, remove mask. Browse menu while making relaxed inhales of the same recirculated AC air previously inside the lungs of the 200 people that also grabbed the door handle.

7. Waitress drops off drinks bare handed.

8. Grab drink with your bare hand. Sip leisurely, secure in knowing you're within your anti-germ forcefield of seatedness.

9. Too many drinks. Need to pee. Don the magical anti-germ barrier mask as you leave your anti-germ forcefield of seatedness.

10. Walk past 40 unmasked restaurant patrons. Open bathroom with same door knob grabbed by 100 other people so far today.

11. Return to table past same 40 unmasked restaurant patrons.

12. Remove mask. Once again safe in your anti-germ forcefield of seatedness. Waitress takes your sweaty drink glass with her bare hand, refills, hands back to you. You accept with your bare hand. Grab some bread and eat it. Same hand. Yum Yum.

13. Meal complete. Mask on. Walk past 40 unmasked patrons. Make full body contact with at least 4 people waiting at the hostess stand as you squeeze your way back to the door - no matter, they're all also wearing their magical anti-germ barriers.

14. Grab exit handle, which you are now the 220th person of the day to touch. Eating out successful.

15. Breathe a sigh of relief knowing that even after leaving the protection of your home and venturing out into the scary world of the public, you are essentially sterile thanks to your state approved methods of magical germ mitigation.”

More Posts from Thebadjew and Others

5 years ago
Pls Share

Pls share

5 years ago

I'm surprised they all haven't quit by now

In A Heartbeat! They Have The Toughest Damn Job! Hands Are Tied And Ridiculed By The Democratic Party

In a heartbeat! They have the toughest damn job! Hands are tied and ridiculed by the Democratic Party constantly. I am thankful to them.

5 years ago

I don't have many followers, but whoever you are, please read

We're losing the fight

People please please please spread this. Hong Kong is under attack. We used to be an amazing city, we still are. We served as the link between East and West, and had a relatively good relationship with Mainland China. We were technically a part of them, but we kept our own laws and government under the Basic Law (HK law agreed on by both China and England). We had freedom; freedom of speech, religion, protest, all that. We stood up for what's right.

Throughout Hong Kong's history, we've always had a great relationship with the police force. Just look at the Umbrella Revolution of 2014, it was pretty dang peaceful considering the number of people out on the streets. Sure there were isolated incidents, but overall? There was a mural agreement between protestor and police. We do what we have to do, we fight for what we believe is right, we try to minimalize casualties. That's not the case anymore

The city has turned into a battlefield. The police have become demons. They're ruthlessly beating innocent civilians and passerbys. They sprayed pepper spray into a crowded train compartment. They pepper sprayed a pregnant woman directly in the face several times before proceeding to pull her to the ground and beat her. They shot people in the chest, leg, and eye point black. A lot of us don't even think they are the police of Hong Kong anymore. We believe they are soldiers from the Mainland. They are tearing the city apart

I also feel the need to clear up some things. We are NOT fighting for independence. This started out as a protest against the extradition treaty that would strip Hong Kong of our right to free speech. It has evolved into a protest against police brutality and government negligence, and those two things have only gotten worse and worse. Again, this is not a fight for independence. We just want our city back, we just want One Country Two Systems (the agreement made between China and England. Hong Kong will be a part of China, but have a separate government and a separate justice and social system) back

PLEASE BOOST THIS. Not enough people know about the violence against the citizens. Outside media has painted the protesters as the villains when that is not the case. I'll come back to add photos and videos to this post, but as for right now, please just BOOST THE HECK OUT OF THIS

5 years ago
The Millionaire On The Left Is 77 With Dementia.The Marxist Communist Millionaire On The Right Is 78

The millionaire on the left is 77 with dementia.The Marxist communist millionaire on the right is 78 with cardiovascular disease. Both have never worked a day outside of politics. Both made their millions from politics, never from ideas, productivity, employment or innovation, but both are going to fix our Country 🤔

6 years ago

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

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thebadjew - Fecal Matter on Support Beam
Fecal Matter on Support Beam

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