The-writer-muse

Rating First Lines of My WIPs

There once was a very young filly named Mirabelle who lived on a lovely farm. She had a kind owner, and the horses who lived with her were very nice.

5/10

Major horse girl vibes

This might make a good children’s book, so it gets a couple extra points for reaching its target audience

I used to have a thing for writing stories from the POVs of animals, I think it was because I was a big fan of Erin Hunter books at the time

Author’s Note: This font I am typing in is Happy Monkey, for the story, and this is Handlee, which is my friend’s font. Remember, this font is mine and this font is hers. In this story, I am Ivy Keid, and my friend is Hailyn Keid. (My friend wishes to remain anonymous.) Got it? Cool. Let’s get on with the story. (Oh, and this may not make sense in some parts. So what? It’s a story. It doesn’t HAVE to make sense.

3/10

Younger me, I hate to break it to you, but a story does have to make some kind of sense

If it isn’t clear, I was going through a qUiRkY phase when I wrote this

I wrote this with my best friend, so I remember having fun writing it despite cringing at it now!

Heart racing, feet pounding the ground, Alara ran for her life, the monsters that would soon snuff out her life like a candle pursuing her relentlessly. She leaped over a fallen branch, and heard a series of loud thumps. She didn’t stop to check whether they’d fallen. She zigzagged through the streets and ran on into the darkness, where her people were hiding, where they had been chased out by the creatures of the darkness.”

7/10

Younger me was really trying to be hardcore huh

Actually I like this first line, but why is it so wordy, and what’s up with the confusing writing style?

This entire story was literally plagiarized from inspired by The City of Ember and I have fond memories of writing it

“You still reading that science fiction crap?”

A voice interrupted Joseph. He looked up from his copy of The Cyber War. It was Arnie, the class bully. He was one of those kids who never was caught when breaking the rules. The kids all complained about him, but the teachers never did anything because they never caught him. Make fun of his name, and he’d have you in a headlock giving you his infamous Sandpaper Noogie. No one ever sat in front of him. Kids would rather pull a desk to the other side of the room than sit near Arnie Jones.

6/10

Oh, look, a main character who likes books :) it gets a point just for that

This is unironically funny now, but I don’t think I was trying to be funny while writing this

Arnie Jones may be one of the best bully names I’ve ever come up with (for some reason, bullies featured prominently in my early stories--I wasn’t even bullied, so I have no idea why that was)

There’s nothing more awkward than being with four complete strangers and knowing that you might die with them.

6.5/10

If I want to know what I was reading at a point in my life, all I have to do is open up a WIP from that time, and I’ll immediately know what books I was liking at the time. This is one of those WIPs. In this case, it’s from my YA dystopia phase (yeah I had a lot of phases, don’t @ me)

From this first line alone, I’m getting huge Divergent vibes with some Percy Jackson flavor (it gets half a point solely for that)

I ended up abandoning this WIP after 4 pages, so I’m not really attached to it

“Halt!”

The soldier’s voice easily cut through the bustling plaza, as did its owner. Aydin pretended not to have heard and hurried on.

8/10

Points for the en media res, a point off for the second line being confusing

I wrote this around 7th-8th grade, which was when I started to get more serious about writing (although I abandoned it after 10 pages...in the middle of a sentence)

I might return to this one someday, I had a lot of fun with it!

Everyone says that time heals all wounds, but no amount of time could have prepared me for seeing my sister in her casket.

9/10

The intrigue? The hook? The mystery? Amazing, immaculate, we love to see it

Maybe I’m a little bit biased, but I think this is the best first line I’ve ever come up with!

This is from my current WIP, Pawn, btw ;)

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the-writer-muse

3 years ago

Bitches rant over cliffhangers in the books they read, and then turn around and cackle with Evil Writer Glee ™ every single time they put one in their own WIP

It's me, I'm bitches

How to put “wrote fan-fiction” on your résumé:

Leveraged an inventory of established fictional character and setting elements to generate a disruptive custom-curated narrative entertainment asset.

How to Write Rivals to Lovers

Credit: https://allwritealright.com/writing-from-enemies-to-lovers-creating-dynamic-relationships/

Intro

I would argue that rivals to lovers is superior over enemies to lovers because it’s less toxic and more satisfying. Typically, it results in a healthier relationship than most enemies-to-lovers relationships because it presents a less dark or drastic reason for them to dislike each other (like killing the other’s loved ones, etc). With rivals to lovers, you get jealousy, pining, banter, tension, and of course, a great payoff!

Establish the characters

First and foremost, you’re going to need to make sure that the rivals have the potential to get along. You need to be very strategic about how you design these characters, since this will determine whether or not the dynamic will work authentically. The characters should be unique individuals, obviously, but you need to build them in such a way that your readers will be able to identify their chemistry.

The two characters should have some similar or complementary traits. They should also have traits that make up for the other’s shortcomings, and they should have struggles and flaws that the other character could help them with--if they could only cooperate. These subtle parallels should give readers the sense that the characters would get along, if not for whatever obstacle warped their opinions of each other in the beginning.

Decide why they dislike each other

There are a number of different reasons that characters could have for disliking each other, but you need to be careful about how you approach this. The characters’ hatred should never be based on things that are unforgivable, and they shouldn’t be allowed to evolve as a result of abuse or trauma. Never romanticize bullying, abuse, or manipulation. With that said, here are plausible backstories for their rivalry:

Competition, also known as the main pillar of this trope. Competition can bring out the worst in people, so if your two characters are both vying for the same goal, they might clash as a result. The great thing about this type of hatred is that it might be accompanied by great respect for their rival, and it also gives you a good similarity between the characters that you can rely on to draw them closer together.

Desires. If these characters want the same thing, then the next thing they want is not to let the other get it. This is closely connected to competition. This sets up an interesting plotline as readers wonder who will achieve their prize first...or who might lose it. More on this later!

Conflict. Being on opposing sides of a conflict, such as a debate or dispute, positions characters to dislike each other regardless of their personalities. Their dislike for each other is based on their moral dedication to their country, faction, or clan, and not on their inherent qualities as people.

Society. They might dislike each other because of their parents, education, or class differences. If characters believe they dislike each other because they were taught to dislike each other, then they will have to work out their own internal struggles individually before they can get along together.

Actually falling in love

The biggest mistake that writers make with this trope is moving through the arc too quickly. Overcoming intense feelings for another person takes time, and it happens in distinct phases. First, the characters need to forgive each other and reconcile with their rivalry. Then, they will likely be friends before they can come anywhere close to falling in love. Rivals to lovers must be slowburn to be effective. Some methods of showing it are below:

Forced proximity/conversation

Reluctant partnership (a personal favorite!)

Physical, emotional, or sexual attraction

Banter or teasing

Staring

Flirting

Remembering small things about the other character

Coming to the thought that maybe the other person isn’t so bad / things might be different if they weren’t rivals

Letting the other person beat them in something

Let the characters evolve

If the characters are going to make things work between them, they cannot simply continue the way things have always been. They must acknowledge where they were wrong, and change themselves for the better. They must confront their beliefs and change their perspective, and above all else, they need to forgive themselves and each other for the time they spent disliking the other.

In many cases, characters will need to redeem themselves before their relationship will work. This is a great opportunity to write a redemption arc for one (or both) of the characters, which can make readers feel even more emotionally attached to the characters.

Climax and conflict

At the heart of every rivals-to-lovers story, there’s something that both characters want--otherwise they wouldn’t be rivals! It sets up a very interesting conflict, due to their changing feelings for each other. Who needs the prize more? Who wants it more? Will one of them yield for the other, or will they forge ahead with selfishness and guilt? Or will they both realize that what they need is something completely different from what they thought they wanted?

This is an excellent time to incorporate a betrayal or forgiveness trope. Rivals to lovers implies high stakes, because there is something that they are fighting for. Show those stakes, and you’ll have both an excellent story and an excellent romance!

Love confessions

Once the characters have overcome the obstacles in the way of their love and come to terms with how they feel, the next step is for them to admit those feelings to each other. How your character decides to approach this decision is going to depend on their personality and their existing relationship with the other person. Make sure the scene carries some emotional weight to it: you want readers to feel like the stakes are high.

Your characters aren’t likely to confess their love without feeling some shred of reciprocity. If they haven’t noticed any indication that the other person likes them back, then they’re probably going to sit on those feelings for a while. Both of the characters can even be doing this at the same time, without realizing that the other person feels the same way (which is both really frustrating and really gratifying for the reader!).

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the-writer-muse

3 years ago

the 7 deadly sins of being a writer

self-doubt

procrastination

sleep deprivation

jealousy

wailing (despair)

notebook lust

horrifying comma use

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the-writer-muse

2 years ago

“sorry i can’t talk right now i’m doing hot girl shit” (admiring the colors in autumn so bright just before they lose it all, leaving my scarf at your sister’s house, reminiscing the other day while having coffee all alone)

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