I Wish Shapeshifting Was Real

Saw a HUGE LIGHTNING BOLT and it made me so happy ehudduududj

"I should be in a tree right now" i say to myself despite knowing fully that i fucking suck at climbing.

This creature does not want to be around people in this school , it' s giving it a headache.. Arfuuvg

I am VERY shifty today :( the dog is not having fun. the dog would like to not be at school and instead nap time and play balls :(((((

Mom accidentally being affirming :3

Tinyyy lil vent

I can't fucking stand those who say " why don't you talk to them. It's not that hard "

Go fuck yourself. Lucky you, you know how to socialize and strike up a fucking conversation, and bam make a new friend right then and there.

I can't fucking do that. My mind races, and before you say "well they to calm down–

Mf what do you think I try to do??? Fuck you.

God every time they say "it's not that hard" or "You gotta get out of that" bitch easier said than done. You're extroverted. And you have the audacity to say "oh yeah I'm a Bit SocIaly Anxiousx" shut the fuck up. You'd understand what I'm going through if you did. You stupid fuck

And not only that, bit the constant " what if I'm weird. What if they think I'm a creep what if what if what the fuck if"

Shut the fuck ip

Saving this for later

TYTY!!!

nooo I don't want to clip my claws I use them to do stuff noooo :(((

15$ icons/headshots

i’m moving across the country and wanna make some extra money to buy a bed and food when we get there! 🤍

payment through kofi ☕️ ♥️

will be finished digitally in full color

WILL DRAW :

- furries, therian/kin types, ocs, animals, alters

WON’T DRAW :

- canon/fandom characters, ns/fw, mechs or machinery

even if you can’t support via $, a reblog and a like will help other folk see this 🤍 it would mean a lot

So real

👋 hello! This is my new account, I'm Freddy, AKA tontoemojis / animatronicthing / animatronicfreak on Discord. I just wanted to address all that has happened in the past month! Apologies if my english isn't good or my explanations aren't the best, I just wanted to share my thoughts & my side of the story now that I am in a better place to talk. First of all, I assume my private DMs have already been leaked, so I will leak some from my side too! Just to include proof, of course. Second, this will be a long long long post, careful!

I will go through all the points of the list of "things Freddy has done".

First point. If we remember, I am schizophrenic, this can lead into me having big delusions such as me believing I am a god, god of my own world. Now, I never forced anyone into treating me like a god / referring to me as a god! I believed Iggy & me had a dynamic of god / servant, but I never truly believed he was my literal servant, just a dynamic. & !!! my poor poor victim was calling me a god every time he could, drawing me as the god of the sun & practically worshiping me, as he said various times. I never forced this onto Iggy nor did I ever get upset if he didn't "worship" me because I didn't need anyone to worship me, as I had said before, "I was not the type of god that would like people worshiping me".

Second point. For this I have to remark that we are both 16yo teenagers, I would get it if I was like 5 years older than him, then the whole thing would be different, but we are less than 20 days apart. I can see how the dynamic of deity & worshiper can be unhealthy if handled wrong, or done by mentally ill minors (like us). I understand the mistake here & I am sorry for that.

Iggy seemed to really like our dynamic from what he told me almost every week though, so I thought I had green light to keep our dynamic goint.

Third point. Not true! We were in an old server called Bangerville that has now since been deleted, so I don't have any solid proof to this other than my words. I do have proof of our old conversation with Iggy's old account though. CW for sexual stuff ⬇. In this server, Iggy was showing off his new OC named Julius & I really liked him, I drew him & from what I remember; Iggy told the people to DM him if they wanted to know more facts about him, & I DMed him, & Iggy started with the NSFW, not me!

Partially not true. I did draw porn of Iggy & me, yes, but it was all with consent, while that doesn't make it less weird in your eyes, it was with consent. + Iggy really liked it from what he constantly told me everytime I drew him, with & without sexual intent.

Fifth. I couldn't find any proof that I ever said "I will hurt myself if you are not with me / leave me" in our DMs, so I will guess this is also false. I probably did imply in some of our conversations that I relied on Iggy for emotional support (because that is what partners do???? Help each other out & be there for emotional support?????), but not completely.

Sixth, while in the list it says "detailed bulge" K9 accused me of drawing my brother's Roblox avatar with an erection, an erection. The drawing & the references are here:

if you tell me THAT is an erection then you haven't seen a man in underwear or a bodybuilder in your life. Because that is not a fucking erection & y'all are acting crazy! It could be seen as a detailed bulge, yes, but I have said before to K9, I just copied the image. You guys are overreacting & acting as if I drew porn of my literal brother.

In the group chat K9 & the others made with me, they just told me how it seemed I was fetishizing fat people by drawing my fat OC in just sexual light (which is simply not true). They didn't tell me how they really felt about my OC.

This is the character we are talking about. His name is Bonnie & I've had him since 6th grade. He is a monster that uses his human appearance to lure men & then eat them alive. His nature is being an asshole, basically.

A) I genuinely cannot see how he is a "black caricature", I would like to hear how he is stereotypical / a caricature, because I simply cannot see it. B) Why can't my fat character be sexualized? Are fat people not allowed to be sexual just as much as skinny people? is it because I'm bodily skinny? & if that is the case, why can't skinny people have fat sexualized OCs? I don't get it. Also, the sexualization in question was me drawing Bonnie topless (apparently big tits are sexual now!) & that last drawing of him mentioning a vibrator, that was all the "sexualization" they are talking about.

again, the sexualized pieces were Bonnie topless & the drawing of him mentioning a vibrator. Yes, I should have put a higher age limit to my server due to various reasons other than these, that is very true & I appreciated that K9 & the others brought it up to me. I didn't appreciate that they raided my whole server while I was asleep, though.

While I apologized for this already, it got included in the list & I don't know why. But again, I apologize for it once more, I spoke over minorities & I understand my mistake.

ouch! I mean... I have narcissistic traits, which means I have a harder time taking criticism, I often think people are attacking me whenever they criticize me, & that's on me & me only, they are right. I will be better next time.

This is just false, like, blatantly false. I couldn't find a single message of me defending proshippers to Iggy in our DMs, nor do I remember ever doing that. This actually surprised me because when a proshipper joined my server I was the 1st one to go running to Iggy's DMs screaming "THEY'RE A PROSHIPPER!!!".

when all of this went down, I was in a bad mental state & Iggy knew this. When I get overwhelmed (& I did get overwhelmed in the situation) it is hard for me to understand some things. I don't see how having somebody else to explain the situation to me in a more simple way is bad. I felt attacked, true. & if you count saying "I love you" to someone as praising them, then yeah, I was constantly being "praised" by Iggy while this situation went down, but I promise you I would've lived without all of those "I love you"s.

Begging? begging. Also the people were asking for an Iggy appreciation channel, not a channel just for Iggy. Also also I would love to hear which other horrible behaviors I had because of my NPD!

I don't know if Iggy liked those jokes genuinely, or if when he said stuff like "LIKE DUDE WHEN YOU WERE CALLING ME A LAZY ASS I WAS LITERALLY LIKE (emoji of yellow guy in a puddle)" he was lying to me, but I guess he did lie. I would have never ever called him any of that if I knew he didn't like it, I went on with it because I thought he was genuinely comfortable with those jokes made about him because he told me that everytime I made a joke like that & thought he was mad at me, he was just "turned on" (his words, not mine).

I did ask him to be my "caregiver", yes, but in this situation I saw being a caregiver as being a normal partner; helping each other out when needed, understanding each other's needs & know how to fulfill them. I did tell Iggy whenever I felt bad & wanted to relapse, & I guess that's on me for thinking my partner could help me deal with hard thoughts I had regularly, because you know, partners are there to help each other out.

& what about you K9? do you not have a channel made just to shit talk the people in your server, where your staff has told repeatedly other people to "jump" or harm themselves? I've seen it, I've been staff in your server for a while, you know. That's all the list, sorry I couldn't add any more images; I reached the limit. They've also told the people how I "used Iggy sexually". Which just hurts me deep in my soul, because I loved him with my whole heart, & hearing how he tells everyone that I "used" him just shows me how he never really saw everything I did for him. I drew him almost everyday, I made him gifts, I helped him whenever he felt he was going to relapse, I gave him my money so he could pay his medicines, I WAS PLANNING TO GO TO SWEDEN JUST TO SEE HIM. It is true he sent me sexual content, but I sent him the same sexual content he sent me. I thought we were in an equal relationship, but I guess we weren't & he never told me anything he was thinking. I've done things wrong, yes, but I didn't deserve my private things to be thrown to the world like this. I don't hope bad things happen to neither Iggy or K9 & the server, I just hope the universe gives you what you deserve.

Whenever I hyperfixate on a character, I'll tend to sort of flicker/shift into them periodically until I stop fixating. I don't really know where the line between just wanting to be them and genuinely being them is, or if there's even a difference that matters. It varies from occurrence to occurrence. Sometimes it really does feel pretty real but even then it's sad because I know that when the fixation stops so does the shift. Not only does that make it feel less real, but it also would be nice to just stay as something for once, ya'know? Idk this identify shit it weird.