New Goal In Life

I CANNOT describe how happy James being an elder queer for Ash makes me<333

Ace Trainers

[All comics in order here]

do y'all even know how much i hate being an "elder queer" at 40? a whole goddamn generation before me was wiped out by a plague that politicians deemed not their problem bc it was killing the "right" people. like. this was OPENLY STATED. i spent a large chunk of my childhood going to funerals. nevermind the fact that killing queer people for being queer wasn't codified into law as a hate crime until i was a junior in high school.

i should NOT be an elder queer, i should be middle at most. i am a middle aged queer. most of the elder queers died.

when i was growing up i didn't go to pride parades, i went to pride marches. because that's 100% what they were in the 80s and 90s.

from the absolute bottom of my heart, LEARN OUR FUCKING HISTORY. a generation was nearly wiped out so you young queers could be here. don't let that have been in vain, please.

Honestly? My main piece of advice for writing well-rounded characters is to make them a little bit lame. No real living person is 100% cool and suave 100% of the time. Everyone's a little awkward sometimes, or gets too excited about something goofy, or has a silly fear, or laughs about stupid things. Being a bit of a loser is an incurable part of the human condition. Utilize that in your writing.

Does your therapist follow your blog?

imagine how good it must feel to press a gun to your temple after a bad day and just hold it there with your eyes closed for a few minutes before sighing and putting it away

twitter historically sucks but man this is a banger of a tweet

Sometimes I wonder if there's something to performers in difference to all other art. I wonder why there's that urge to spill all your emotions to a crowd. It's beautiful to see and, as someone who's done it, beautiful to do. But no other art is like that. Sure there's the exhibition to show visual arts or in the intricacies in craft arts but it's such a quiet emotion whose scream is a passive one. I wonder a lot about what drives us to be so public and communal about our messages and stories.

I wonder if we're a type. I grew up with dance girls and I can only remember one trait that united us all, we're all emotional. Not in the cry about every little thing way but we all had this urge to get all our emotions out and to others, maybe this is why gossip is so rampant in our circles. Even the stoic dancers were stoic in spite of their emotions, they even danced with this careful exhale of feeling. I remember us cloggers were definitely a type, we were all energetic and headstrong. I mean, reasons a dance style that's loud, fast, and rural would attract us.

I've been around a lot of theater kids growing up and I think a very similar thing is true. I can't speak as one of them but to a person the ones who performed had this hemorrhaging emotional quality. It was channeled differently and definitely had a different vibe but that feeling was there. I think band kids did this too, again with a completely different feel.

Maybe I'm just witnessing an all artist thing and understanding it as a performer thing but I think visual artists, writers, and other non performance arts don't have. That's not to denigrate those art forms, they do some things way better than us, but I think there's this special quality to us performers that unites us and informs how we are.

Teehee another poem, Wake at the End of the World:

There's a wake at the end of the world

And you're invited

We'll abandon our flesh at the end of the world

Aren't you excited?

Shadows of our bones will poke through our faces

There'll be no class, no sex, no races

For we left them with our mortal flesh

And we're all becoming one

We're rediscovering Eden at the end of the world

And you're invited

There'll be no pain and death at the end of the world

Aren't you excited?

Our ghostly figures can't build bombs anymore

And the guns will go cold and rust forevermore

When we've all lost life there's no more to take

And we're all becoming one

We'll lay our souls bare at the end of the world

And you're invited

Kindred souls will meet at the end of the world

Aren't you excited?

Our souls will light eternal night like neutron stars

And they'll shimmer like the beating of living hearts

And we'll be a mosaic in the vast empty

And we're all becoming one

I'll be there at the end of the world

And you're invited

And I'll love like no other at the end of the world

Aren't you excited?

And we'll build a new world of our own design

We'll watch over it for eternity we resign

We'll warm each other like braided flame

Where we'll both become one

We should've known Gee's character was trans in the mv when they refused to swim tbh

ILLI'S GRIPPERS ARE OUT GUYS

AHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH

OMGGGGG OMG OMG WE LOVE TO SEE IT

oh god it's happening

watch me be awkward on camera for like 30 min