Childe: Once I Master The Bow It’s Over For You Bitches

Chongyun: oh, auntie. you’re late

Shenhe: yes i’m sorry. i was doing… things

Xingqiu: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS

Xiao: i know you think my judgment is clouded because i like venti a little bit

Zhongli: you doodled your wedding invitations

Xiao: that’s our joint tombstone

Zhongli: my mistake

Belphegor: how do i put myself in a coma without killing myself or giving myself permanent brain damage? My life sucks and i want to die but i think i might want to wake up later, plus i have a twin brother who i don’t want to scar

Belphegor: update: lol i don’t want to die, i just want to go to sleep for like a month

Belphegor: update 2: to all you idiots incapable of literacy, i didn’t ask how to improve my current circumstances, i asked how to induce a coma

Judge: How do you plead?

Chat Noir: *looks at Ladybug*

Ladybug, mouthing: Not guilty.

Chat Noir: Hot milky

Ladybug: just lock him up

Kaeya: bigfoot, but fully shaved

Childe: mr. clean

Diluc: conversations like this are why i have anxiety

Mona: when’s your birthday?

Scaramouche: why? so you can look up my natal chart? so you can figure out my weaknesses? so you can destroy me? i don’t fucking think so

Paimon: do you think you could take Albedo?

Kaeya: fuck yeah…

Kaeya: oh you mean like in a fight?

MC: when i asked you to bring me something back from the beach, i meant like a conch shell

Mammon, struggling to hold a seagull: well you didn’t fucking say that

Varric: As your best friend-

Hawke: Fenris is my best friend

Varric:

As your best friend

Childe: barbecue time! i have steaks, chicken, beef patties, and sausage what do you want?

Ganyu: im vegan

Childe: try the guillotine