Me Thinking About Neil, Years After Reading The Series VS Me Seeing Neil Again While Rereading The Series

TGR SPOILERS

andrew “perfect gaydar” minyard you will always be famous

"My crows"

I love them your honor

Figured I'd share this older art here hehe enjoy <3

genuinely the most heartbreaking part in aftg like out of the whole series is at the end of the kings men when neil snaps and starts begging for his life

like his “please, just let me go, just let me go i’m not—” LIKE UGHHHH

to me it really emphasizes just how young he is…like he’s literally only 19 he’s a teenager!!! begging for his life!!!! (after trying so hard to save face in front of lola in the car it didn’t even matter in the end bc fuck i’m about to die)

and also just the parallel with andrew and his hatred in the word, that he also said please and it didn’t work

(and the fact that he probably also came to a point where he knew it wouldn’t work but he had to try and beg anyways bc there’s no way out he has no other options he has nothing to gain but nothing to lose either just please let me go—)

I think we as a community don't recognize how funny the first confrontation scene in The Foxhole Court is. Like we talk about how absolutely confused Kevin must have been and how the sudden language shift was wild and how Aaron and Nicky are just O.O over the quiet new kid losing his shit.

But Neil runs into the room (picking the lock with ease, mind you) guns blazing, threatens Kevin, calls him a slur and a "deadweight has-been", then turns and fucking runs. Like... doesn't even put up a pretense of a physical fight, just books it and slams the door closed like that's going to make a difference. The mental image of Neil Josten sprinting out the room like a thirteen year old who just pissed off his older sibling and is about to employ the kicking method is too good for us not to recognize.

The more I think about the differences between how the Trojans show affection vs how the Foxes do, the more I come to the conclusion that they unwittingly created the perfect environment for Jean and Neil’s arcs respectively.

Take for example the way Cat and Laila show Jean affection. The forehead kisses, the hugs, the endless reassurance and compassion. It may go without saying but Neil would’ve hated it if he ended up in that situation. He would’ve booked it faster than you can say Wesninski. But Jean? I mean sure he was baffled at first, but the way he grows to lean into it? The way he shows affection the same way back? Jean needed that brand of affection in a way Neil won’t ever. He needed to learn that he was deserving of such love; that there are people out there now who cared about him as deeply as he does them.

Neil on the other hand needed to learn a whole different set of lessons. The Foxes showing him that they care was less such obvious displays of love and more about patience in the face of his complications. More about their willingness to stick by him when the fabricated life he clung so hard to unraveled at the seams. Jean wouldn’t have flourished as much in that environment because he didn’t need understanding as much as he needed love. He didn’t need someone to help piece his life back together as much as he needed someone to love what was already there.

Neil is like an innocent looking stray cat that the foxes still kept even when they got bit; while Jean is like an abused show dog that the Trojans nurse back to health. And good lord do I love them both for it.

if you ever think about settling for less than you deserve just remember that andrew minyard quit smoking in fear his lungs wouldn't allow him to be fast enough to save the man he loves in case he needs it

(Tfc)

Dan: Welcome, fellow idiots

Neil: Hi, Dan

Dan: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Neil: You underestimate me

Doodle