“Play The Man, Master Ridley…”

This machine kills AI

i really needed this. it took me years to understand who i am, specifically because of awful men and experiences with men in my life who made me terrified of men and masculinity. i was scared to the point that i violently rejected myself every time i started to feel like maybe i wasn’t a girl because i was so scared of being a man and what that might mean for me as a person. it took meeting and becoming close with some wonderful trans men and a very wonderful and special cis guy for me to finally relax and realize that i didn’t have to be afraid. that being masc isn’t being evil or dangerous. that there are truly beautiful, lovely men out there, some trans and some cis. that despite how dangerous the men of the world can be, there’s good too. and i am fully capable of being part of that good. i’m still working on internalizing it. thank you op <3

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

trying to find active firefly fandom is like trying to find the secret second season of firefly

self-love/self-hate

Oh, and by the way, that Supreme Court ruling is where that Harry Potter money goes.

sometimes i doubt myself when i inform people that i have both adhd and autism. i have an adhd diagnosis, but i don’t have an autism diagnosis. i get this feeling like im lying. but multiple autistic people in my life have looked at me unprompted and been like “dude, im pretty sure you’re autistic.” who am i to argue with the rulings of the council?

Wednesday

    That night something crawled between my ribs and whispered to my heart until the blood in my veins was sullied with secrets.

Now when I scrape my knees the wounds never clot; they flow and seek and hunger.

To whom do I owe the bitter symbols etched upon my skin?

To whom do I owe the soil caked beneath my fingernails?

To whom do I owe the salt always layered on my teeth?

    The wind howls and it howls and I can’t help but wonder if it’s finally come for me.

Would things be so bad if it did?

    Point anywhere on the map and that’s where I am, I’m only solid here.

I could disappear like a magic trick if I truly and fully believed, but as with most things, even minute levels of doubt ground me to reality.

    If I decided to never sleep again I would spend my nights thinking of the sea and of colors and of all the music that will only be born long after I am buried.

Thinking of snake skins and the smell of Autumn and the feel of bone-deep hunger.

How easy it would be; to wake up one day for nothing to ever be the same again.

WELCOEM TO MY FUCK HOUSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA