Suica-channel - Just Su

"it's so fucking over" yeah dude it's 11pm it's the end of the day it's time for you to go to bed. and tomorrow you'll be so fucking back because you'll be awake. go tuck yourself in dude you'll be ok

well shit I reblogged to the wrong blog again. Oh well. Have fun with my raw vulnerability

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dear Reader,

I'm glad that I got to experience life as a girl. I really am. It brings me to tears just thinking about it. Sure, there are drawbacks, but so many positives. I mean...

For example, it was nice to play with the other girls because they never treated me roughly. I could feel safe with them. And it's so lovely to wear dresses and skirts and cute accessories with no one thinking it's odd. It's nice to not feel so self-conscious about expressing my emotions. It's comforting to be able to connect and commiserate with others who have experienced girlhood and/or are living as a woman.

But... as I continue to see my therapist, I become more aware of how my anxiety manifests, how I often feel trapped or unseen by the world, for seemingly no reason that I can discern. The feeling of being trapped keeps returning. I'm scared of what it might mean. Maybe it's not related to my gender at all. But I'm still scared of it. And yet I hope to unravel it one day.

Today I went to shower and saw my body in the mirror, and maybe I'm just tired, but I felt so wrong. Another thing I'm not able to explain. And earlier when I spoke with my father, I hated every word that came out of my mouth, not because I thought what I was saying was dumb or irrelevant, but because suddenly, my voice didn't sound like mine.

By the way, I'm not a boy. In case you're asking that, I want to make it clear. To call myself a boy or a man just doesn't feel quite right. But I am always a person, and I don't mind calling myself a woman... sometimes.

I wish this was easy. But I have a feeling this is what the Death card that came up in a recent tarot reading (I know, I'm silly) meant for me. I interpreted it as needing to really grieve something in order to keep moving forward with my life. And I don't know, it all feels connected somehow.

Maybe this is simply part of my path to becoming a woman? I wonder.

For now I just need to cry. Like Chihiro from Spirited Away. I still remember the message I took from the ending of the film, that filled me with such sadness.

"I can never return to my childhood."

Fremillei art study ☀️

Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

fandom nd ppl in general waaaaay overuse the word ‘twink’ for characters that term should definitely not apply to. johnny joestar is not one such case.

centre-t.com

Help transgender people in Russia

Center-T is looking for benefactors to provide psychological support to transgender people in difficult life situations

to those who want to help transgender people in Russia, please consider donating to centre-t; a bill has recently been passed that forbids medical transition and will have extreme consequences on quality of life that is already steadily declining

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Being autistic is like screaming through a megaphone “please don’t overwork me, i WILL explode” and everyone responds like haha well. You’ll get used to it over time :)

Genshin Impact | Ajaw & Kinich