One Of The Baristas At A Nearby Starbucks Makes Me Lose My Mind Every Time I’m Working There By Saying

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m working there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates appropriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

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Thank you so much for the tags, @stuff-of-pi and @lemon-astra, this was fun!!

What is the color of your hairbrush? Pink!

A food you never eat? Escargot🤮 I’ll only try it when I finally go to Paris, just to try it authentically, but odds are I probably won’t like it then either lol

Are you typically too hot or too cold? I get too hot easily, but my hands and feet are always cold. So, like @stuff-of-pi said, someone pls cuddle me, but like... in an air-conditioned environment?😂

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Watching The Witcher with my lil sis😊

What’s your favorite candy bar? Three Musketeers!

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? Yep, a few! Most notably a few Nats baseball games and a Packers football game.

What is the last thing you said out loud? “You good?” (I heard a thud in my sister’s room but she just tripped over nothing lol)

What is your favorite ice cream? Peanut butter and chocolate😋

What was the last thing you had to drink? Water, gotta stay hydrated!

Do you like your wallet? Yeah! I actually got a new one like a month ago, it’s small, black, and pretty compact, unlike my old one.

What was the last thing you ate? A fortune cookie🥠

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Tbh all the days sort of blend together during quarantine, so I can’t remember exactly when it was, but I bought a new pair of blue ripped mom jeans recently, and I love them sm

The latest sporting event you watched? Ngl, I can’t remember the last one I watched.

What’s your favorite popcorn flavor? If we’re talking classic popcorn flavors, just butter and salt🍿

Who was the last person you sent a text message to? My friend Kira

Ever go camping? Not outside of my backyard haha

Do you take vitamins? Yep, Flintstone Vitamins with iron, cuz ya girl’s borderline anemic. Thanks, periods.

Do you go to church every Sunday? Nope, I’m an atheist lol

Do you have a tan? No, and I usually don’t cuz I don’t tan very well

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Depends. If we’re talking the stereotypical, lower quality versions of each, I’d say Chinese food.

Do you drink your soda with a straw? No, I drink it straight out of the can/bottle, I’m not a heathen😂

What color socks do you usually wear? Black

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Usually a few over, yeah. Only 5 or more over on the interstate to keep up with traffic or when I’m in a big rush.

What terrifies you? Being unimportant, unloved, unsuccessful, and unhappy in life

Look to your left. What do you see? My room’s giant ass window to our front yard and the bottom of our cul de sac

What chore do you hate? Cleaning my sister and I’s bathroom vanity🤢

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Steve Irwin, one of the counselors from my international summer camp, and Brenton Thwaites lmao

What’s your favorite soda? Cream soda🍺

Do you go in a fast food place, or just hit the drive thru? Usually just the drive thru!

Favorite cut of beef? Filet mignon

Who’s the last person you talked to? My sister

Last song you listened to? “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher” from The Witcher (can you tell I’m obsessed?😂)

Last book you read? If we’re talking the last book I read in its entirety, that would be Red, White, and Royal Blue❤️ (another one of my obsessions - I’d highly recommend it)

Favorite day of the week? Saturdays are my personal day where I can do what I want, but I like Fridays because they’re exciting. I don’t think I can choose lol

Can you say the alphabet backwards? I mean, probably? But it would take some effort and it would be pretty slow.

How do you like your coffee? My regular daily coffee has cream and sugar, but when I get coffee while I’m out, I usually go for mocha of some sort, be it a frappuccino, iced coffee, latte, etc.

Favorite pair of shoes? My Doc Martens, ofc🖤

At what time do you normally go to bed? During quarantine and over the summer, 12:30-1. During the school year, 12ish.

At what time do you usually get up? During quarantine/over the summer, I usually get OUT of bed at 10:00ish. During the school year, around 7:30.

Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunrises🌅

How many blankets are on your bed? Three!

Describe your kitchen plates. Our usual ones are ceramic with various leaves, berries, and other fruit painted on them.

Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? As someone who is 17 and has consumed very little alcohol, I’m gonna have to say no, not yet lol

Do you play cards? Yeah, occasionally! Poker’s fun, but I also really love games like Caps and Spit.

What color is your car? White🤍

Can you change a tire? ...theoretically. In reality... probably not😂

What is your favorite state/providence? New York, baby!🏙

Favorite job you’ve ever had? None so far, cuz I don’t count my last “job” as a real job anyways. Who knows when I’ll find one now, with corona and all😬

How did you get your biggest scar? I tried to jump the curb with my bike while going pretty fast and didn’t pull it up high enough, so I flew off and tried to break my fall on my elbow lol.

What did you do today that made someone else happy? I think I’ve done well on my exams so far (I had my third one today), somehow including Calc, which I’m still kinda shook about lmao. I think it’s made my whole family happy just cuz I’ve been stressing over all of it for so long.

I nominate @ravenclaw-has-claws @asktheboywholived @sirussly @askyourlocalhufflepuff @ask-dromeda @prettylestrange @hannahsbadnailart and anybody else who wants to answer these random questions!!


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5 years ago

jshsksjks guys i got a new wig yesterday and i’m so excited cuz i can use it for several different characters (possibly even Marlene :D)

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