Suicide Of Talking

What Sweet Luck

Hair like black lace

A beautiful kind of tangled

I'm happy that I was once her case

Sophisticated

Yet humble

I'm intoxicated

On you

You hate chunky orange juice

I hate being away from you

So for now, you are my muse

You are becoming abstract thought

I find this interesting

My eyes searching but not

Getting caught

I'm high

On you and your missing presence

And yet you feel nearby

I'm reaching

For her extra crazy hope

That she’s superb at teaching

With her bad analogies

Her and her flawed

Perfectness

She was just the right kind of odd,

I'm like a spider with a web and she’s like a bug that’s stuck

She has no idea that she has been caught in my poetry

What sweet luck,

Because I miss you so

Solitary Confinement

It felt like solitary confinement

They have my finger print

All the windows had a tint

It was hard to see

Anything but all the problems wrong with me

Drowning in the unknowing sea

Been here so long I’ve got belly button lint

Can they take the silence as a hint?

May I have a breath mint?

Outside I can hear them talking

The secrets are shocking

That door I’m locking

The things I hide

Behind some deceptive lies

My heart dies

Inside here I have no control

Maybe he is secretly the troll

Trapped is my soul

My body is so tense

Just hop the fence

It sounds like I don’t make sense

Inside I’m dead

Heavy as lead

I don’t look fed

I wonder what they are saying

In here I’m slowly but surely decaying

The video cameras revealing everything, replaying

Somehow they forgot me

I long to be free

The new, changed world, I want to see

When is the last time I saw the bright shooting stars?

As I try to imagine mars,

Through the cold, rusty, thick, medal bars

At somebody getting in their car

I wonder what their life is like

Strike, strike,

Strike

I’ll get though this

No one has ever truly been here for me, there is no one I miss

No one is one the list

My only friend in here is a flickering light

I’m not done with this fight!

Will I be forced to stay another scary, rough night?

However this room is also bliss

As I reminisce

At least I’m finally away from the battles, the silence is a gentle kiss

In The Eye Of The Storm

I'm in the eye of the storm

It’s a nice break but I know it’s not over

The forecast shows another month of hell

In my brain that might not go over very well

It could become deformed

Rain will grow a green four leaf clover

Clear blue skies

And because of them, sometimes my heart dies

I don’t know the next time I’ll meet the sun again

I don’t care how long the storm is, I'm not going to stop

The odds I have to beat

It’s not easy at all stuck in the heat

The whispers of wind from way back when,

My jaw didn’t pop

When I could think freely without stress

Back when I didn’t know what made a mess

But it wasn’t great back then either

When my future comes I have to keep in mind that I can’t control what others think

Let them think whatever the hell they want

Let us be stupidly nonchalant

Dark clouds and rainstorms neither

Are the things that make you stink

Don’t believe in staying inside on rainy days

I don’t need the sun’s praise

I feel anxious for what my future could hold

I have grit

How will I make it much longer?

How much farther do I have to go?

I want to see books getting sold

Between a rock and a hard place I do not want to sit

I'm in the eye

And that gives me some time to think

Yellow Lines

Staring into the yellow lines

Trying to go with the flow

I cannot bring myself to look up at the pines

Delirious depression in this mechanical car is a light load Sitting next to one of my discombobulating demons

Unable to run or fight it

Inside I am scream'n

This makes me want to fuck shit Staring at the two yellow lines, I think...

About last year when I climbed the walls

I should take leaps for the fun of the falls

Onto the sun warmed tar I desire to sink Thinking about two people who give me hope

That is for whatever is next to come

I feel the slope,

That leads into my own personal slum

Two lines, two women who are fierce

How far will I get with the uneven yellows?

Bright yellow does pierce

Stuck like a baby in the backseat type of mellow What to do when I turn the stone of 18?

My enemy has me trapped and constantly, greedily coming back

I have to hold the slack

What do I even know? One thing is for certain

I will keep moving forwards

Hopefully I'll stick with my words

I will go wherever the yellow snakes take me, in order to see the man behind the curtain

You Should Be A Crime

You should be a crime

And I would love to watch you put your hands in the air and get caught

That’s not true, no,

I just want your time

I would like to watch you struggle to open locked doors

You’d fight and fail to maim the doorframe

No,

I just want to be yours

I hope you age like fine wine

Slow and always with such grace

Yes,

I just want you to stay, my silly valentine

I want to be with you while you shine

You’ll always shine; you're the shooting star of my life

Yes,

I just want you to be mine

This Place Is Whole

This place is whole

There are no sink holes to worry about

There’s a whole lot of good

And a whole lot of bad

A whole lot of heartache

And a whole lot of love to heal in

I'm whole in my imperfectness

And I'm whole in all of my mistakes

I will try to always be my whole self

There’s a whole lot of Eddie

And if he ever has a football, I will always be ready,

With a whole lot of this

And a whole lot of that

A whole place

To just be

To just exist

And be okay with just that

Words

People say that words can’t hurt you

But words can make you dangerously blue

They say that sticks and stones hurt more

But they don’t get that words aren’t a bore

Words have a lot of meaning

Stop the brain cleaning

Why do you think I write poems?

Poems are my home

Sticks and stones may break your bones but they can’t ever hurt your soul

Unless you let them slip through a little hole

Words have a way of sneaking around everyone’s hearts and minds

Too bad you don’t have to pay a fine

Some words hurt like knifes

Don’t let it ruin your life

Words can leave marks,

Scars and painful friction sparks

Other words are kind

Some can blind

You can’t only say I love you to me

You have to not just prove it but make me see

I now don’t trust easily at all

People who I used to trust have made me fall

Not only did they do that they made sure that I heard their laughter

After

I can still hear them in my head

When everyone else is in bed

Sleeping

While I lock myself in my room weeping

Their laughter always growing louder

Why must I cower?

I wish I was strong like everyone else

I just want to be my old self

Everyone says I'm strong but really I'm not

They don’t know I cry a lot

They say I'm strong

But they're wrong

They all think I'm fine

They say that while all they do is shine

I'm just the cloudy, dirty, run down, rusty

Musty…

No one ever wants me

I'm the third wheel all the time, you see

You always tell me someone is worse off than me

Why can’t you just flee?

The laughter is so loud that it is part of the beat of my drum

What have I become?

Why do you enjoy making me feel worthless?

You are careless

The stress

Of always trying to be the best

You’ve made me a mess

I just want to be me

You never hear my pleas

Of just let me be me

I beg you please

Just turn it off

And step off

And you wonder why I don’t tell you anything or even speak at all

I just don’t want to bawl

Stop looking at me with that stupid judging look

I gratefully have unhooked

From you

We’re not stuck like glue

I've lost faith in the human mind

You can’t even be somewhat kind

Words make up the human world

Sometimes they can be bold, twisted and curled

Words hurt more than physical pain

You have a box of permanent letters in your brain

Of all the mean,

Things ever said to you, you're fat, you should be more lean

Some of the letters are signed with your name

Yes you are that lame

You really are your worst enemy

Slowly killing yourself…

SOS

This captain is going down with his ship

Of course I have thought about ditching and abandoning

But I guess it’s seen as better if you just sink with your heart,

When you know you’ve failed

I am superman

I am a man of steel

I am a king

Of course I'm scared

But “Even if all you do is fail, then fail and fail again”

I'm climbing a ladder and I'm scared I won’t be able to get back down

Once I make it to the top I must brace myself for the dreaded fall

I am scared

I am not shore

I am crazy within my idiocy

I must do what floats my boat

My life is a sinking ship, not Noah’s Ark

And I can’t find the life boats

Or the flare

I am an iceberg

I am a rock

I am an island

I am sinking on the quicksand of confusion from the ship of Theseus

I should hold my breath

And put a message in a bottle

That won’t make it back to land in time

Dit dit dit

Da da da

Dit dit dit

Wild

Feelings seize

Behind my poker resting face

Thoughts radiating out of my pores

The moon attempts to pull my tears out

As they want to go back home

To the ocean

Instead this werewolf

Howls at the moon

Wanting to slaughter innocent sheep

A fierce

Beast

Yet skittish at the sight of any possible danger

Feeling the wild

Clashing around

Dragging its claws around the inside of me in protest

All the while the sheep

Have grown parasitic teeth

And now they are the wolves Blank eyes

Of a barbarian

Willing to do anything to survive

In the worst of moments

The the savage has been suppressed

With the good old remedy of lack of sleep

World and Politics

Why can’t we all be more like death?

Not giving a care

But taking all

Fighting those with a strong will to live, very unfair Bringing people back home to their center of magic earth

Stardust people

Why can’t we work together and fight this?

Is it because some believe it’s the end and not to mess with the steeple I guess to get a compromise they must argue themselves in circles

Two sides like an infinity sign

Adding onto ideas and holding ground back and forth

I think we the people need to rewind What are we actually trying to achieve?

Rather than spewing insults and points back and forth

We could keep the goal in mind, for us to save the world

The glaciers melting in the North We the people, never forget to shake hands at the end

That’s my favorite part

When we all come together,

We are all on this planet with similar problems; I hope we can live heart to heart