Can We Talk About How The Idea That STEM And The Humanities Are Mortal Enemies With No Overlap Is Actually

“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

'but why...' because i am pretentious, because i am filled with a morbid longing for the picturesque, because of the undiagnosed adhd, because i ran away from home three times as a child, because i've been an insomniac since i was nine

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

babe your suffering is not noble. your self destructive habits do not make you cool. your self loathing does not make you fun to be around. go for a walk. drink some water. wash your hair. i promise you can be happy and loved.

the unsent project

i like to browse the unsent projects messages, and make myself feel sad over all the lost love in the world

i search up my name over and over, obsessively

i search up your name over and over, obsessively

they say we reflect the love we are shown

and maybe there is something in that, because when i look up your name there are hundreds of messages

and when i look up mine

there are two

i sent some of the messages to you

and when i scroll through every dark green one catches my eye

and the really pathetic thing is that i don't remember which ones i sent

maybe what we had wasn't so special if i am mistaking others messages for mine

i dont know

but i do know that you probably never search for my name

and you have certainly never sent me a message

mood this week <3

the idea that your behind someone implies that you are going the same way, which is inherently wrong because no one is on the same path.

to use an orienteering metaphor (which y'all might not get bc my sport is a niche sport, so message if you want an explanation) if you reach a checkpoint and dib it, and your excited that you're halfway done, and someone else comes up behind you and is excited because this is their second last checkpoint, you aren't behind them, you are just running different courses. it might feel like you are going slower than them, but they are on a different route, they might have set of sooner, the route they are taking might be shorter.

but even if someone on the same course as you overtakes you, you aren't necessarily behind them. they might be better at running, or have more grippy shoes, or be more hydrated.

this also applies for passing others. you're not necessarily better than them, you might be more equipped, they might be lost, they might have taken a different route to avoid slopes because of an injury.

you don't know what help others are getting, you will never know their circumstances. so don't assume you are ever better/worse than anyone.

they hate me for my joy and whimsy. and also the fact that my music is super loud and i am dropping chocolate cookie crumbs on their notes. but mostly by charming and endearing aura. but also kind of the fact that i keep complaining that i'm bored and i want to go for a walk. but at the end of the day its because of the skip in my step, the sparkle in my eye, and the joy in my heart.

i bring a sort of...locked out... vibe to the study sesh that the haters (my very clever bsf who is going to study medicine and needs straight a's) hate

i hope you are haunted by every mention of me

i see your name everywhere

you surround me in inconsequential settings

the teacher asks me to read aloud from the article, and the authors name makes me choke

my friend talks excitedly about her new tennis coach, and i pathetically, desperately, think that somehow you have travelled 417.8 miles and learnt a new sport

your name is used in a maths problem and i think this is so daft he could run way faster than that, and i sit there like a fool in the exam hall surrounded by shame and silence and the echoes of you

the curse of having a niche name is that i know you will probably never hear mine

you will never stop dead at 11:24 on the train home because someone has just laughed my name into their phone

you will never read a book where my name is the name of a main character, and wonder if i have read this book too

you will never come across my name spray painted in accusing red, begging you not to forget me

but maybe this is a blessing in disguise

you will never become numb to me

whenever you do hear my name it will be brutal and raw and painful

i hope

your brother will say 'i heard she got a boyfriend' and your mum will say 'i called her the other day and she was worrying about her exams' and your grandmother will say 'she might come visit london this summer'

and you will stop dead in the bright lights of the kitchen and watch everyone turn around you

and you will picture me in my blue room with the purple pyjamas i wore that night i was twelve,

and you will know that i will always be a part of you