Cat

“I’m blessed that you’re mine.” is the kind of energy I deserve. No rooms for playing games.

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 29/01/24

dear diary,

fear is such a weird thing? why do i care about what other people are doing and if i see them or if they perceive me,, i really shouldn't be having such limiting thoughts, i want to conquer all my social fears this week, i'm going to make it my goal.

today was very all over the place but i think it fell in place beautifully? even if it's not what i wanted. i think these days theres just comfort thinking in the air, as in how my clothes feel against my body or how the wind flows outside, the sound of the train station every morning, the squelchy noise my boots make every time i step on the pavement.. like that, is there a word for that? is it mindful thinking? i also want to focus on the present a lot this week.

my train ticket ended up declining this morning and for a moment it felt so humiliating but i then realised that it wasn't, i just had to put more money into my account and just move on, i now want to live like that. if it doesn't serve me i just move on with it.

i had mentoring today and it was so freeing to finally be able to discuss with a teacher why i struggle in certain lessons and how i can combat them,, now i just have to actual put that in practice

i also finally submitted a poetry piece into a college comp and im pretty proud of the piece ♡ i hope i have a chance of winning it but i also know that if i believe in myself i'll get the outcome that is most ideal

today was slightly anxiety inducing but mainly due to my own fears and self esteem, gives me something to work on~ i hope tommorow is a better day for myself.

☆ 15/06/24

i got a lot of people who love me today,, and to realise that through a tiktok post is kinda insane but here we are~ my friend made a plan to get me close to one of her friends so i can get with him, im enjoying that mission

3d is not proof of anything

You can tell me that you have no money, and I will ask to you, "how do you know you don't have money?" and maybe you will tell me "I just checked my bank account, I have no money".

But are you checking your bank account right now? No, you are not. Then you are imagining it, assuming that you don't have it.

Knowing Imagination creates reality, and that what you assume and identify as real is reflected, why you sustain limitations and lack in your mind?

You can Imagine and assume anything that you want. Do you want to be poor? I bet you not. Then free yourself in your mind to FEEL what you WANT to feel. REMOVE THE OUTER WORLD CIRCUMSTANCES. You are not forced to unknowlegde what you see with your mortal eyes as real, you can ignore and rewrite the history as you want it to be.

Now let me tell you, the whole world is imagined. Nothing you see with your mortal eyes is a fixed fact.

"If I can make something, I can unmake it. Whatever I can create, I can uncreate." NG

How can I create and uncreate? I dismiss what my senses tell me and I decide to be aware of what I want, knowing it is mine, I experience it. I cannot fail.

Don't take your circumstances to the mind, they are not real. You don't need to fight circumstances, that's not your business, they will be removed as you assume the end.

So if you see something in your world that you don't like, leave the world alone and change Self. Self is everything you identify yourself as being or having!

The confirmation that you have what you believe you have is in your Imagination, it NEVER was in the outerworld. You were always assuming that you had things, now you just assume you have things that you WANT.

If you still believe in what the senses shows you, you are not yet conviced that Imagination creates reality, not the other way around. When you believe it, you will know you are the master of your fate.

Don't sleep again, never forget this truth.

“Didn’t you try to kill him?”

“The greatest thing we can do in life…”

“…is find the power to forgive.”

"A girl´s gotta do what a girl's gotta do", made in 1998, gun approx 25 x 13cm (10" x 5.2"), cotton yarn. (source)

A metal heart decorated with small springs that unfolds to reveal paper covered with hand-written prayers in Italian and a small image of the Virgin Mary.

☆ 21/06/24

today was batshit crazy i greened out for the first time, on a blunt with friends n i thought i wasn't in control of my body and tried to break out of it which only made me trip hard and then puke a bunch but then i had the nicest high ever after that ! and also half a tub of icecream ♡ literally no school lessons today all i did was get high