How To "make Space" For Your Feelings:

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 08/02/24

all is not lost and grief is needed in order to heal.

ive been trying to make myself all put together and healed up when i havent even done the first step yet which is grieving, ive been putting it off for so long but the reality is that healing does not come without intense emotional releases and i had no idea that i was damaging myself by not allowing myself to process it all, now that i did that today it is very much tiring but its so much more better than staying in an anxious and low state all the time. all is well !! and i believe i will get better and love myself more each and everyday

its really hard to admit that i let someone treat me like i was less than and believed it but also the fact that i saw myself as less deserving, i dont want to be hateful at my past self so all i can do is love and let go no matter how long it takes to do so,, i'll def be sleeping with a clear mind and come to the acceptance of that pain

but i also finished my kuromi lego set today !! look it >

☆ 23/06/24

my nephews left :( sad about it :(( no joke all i had was falafel today i swear i ate the entire box, today was very slow

grabbing every 13 yo girl by the arms and yelling "YOU LOOK FINE !!!!!!! DON'T SPEND UR ALLOWANCE ON CONCEALERS GO SEE A BAD MOVIE INSTEAD !!!!!!!!!!! BEAUTY IS POETRY AND SONGS AND LAUGHTER W FRIENDS AND COLORFUL LEAVES !!!!!!!!!! GO READ A MARY OLIVER POEM AND YOU'LL BE OK!!!!!!!!!"

i find it so surreal on how even the most forgetful things hold so much memories, to one person a pen might just be a necessity and to another it might just be the meaning of love in itself

it's so strange how you can detest olives when you're eight years old and suddenly like them at 26. how you can fall in love with someone only for them to turn around one day and reveal themselves as someone completely unrecognisable. how you can want something for so long and finally get it, only for it to not turn out how you thought it would. how you can come to find beauty in your hometown after years resenting it and trying to find yourself in a different city. how you can grow apart from people and find yourself among them again years down the line.

time will change you and how you fit into the world – what you want and how you define yourself, or not. it is so open-ended, always evolving, and I wish I could alleviate the pressure my younger self felt to find herself in this big world with so many possibilities for who she could become. sometimes things just need to take their course. sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and trust that what will happen will happen and there's time to figure things out, because it is not possible to completely control the direction of your life, and nothing – not your state of mind, nor your stage of life – is final.

30/04/24 ♡

im gonna keep my entries short now~ today was very chill i have a horrible sore throat and it really sucks to have but i enjoyed good fruit ! ive been living in my head today,, my mind is far better than anything else rn 😭

what ive been listening to:

‫دل کو مزید کھولو، تم قیدی نہیں ہو، تم خوابوں کی تلاش میں آسمان پر اڑتا ہوا پرندہ ہو‬

‏‫Open your heart more, you are not a prisoner, you are a bird flying in the sky in search of dreams."‬

‏Haruki Murakmi

No but I hate seeing young adults beat themselves up for not having it all at a certain age. Like the person with a career will hate themselves for not having a long education, while the person finishing their degree will hate themselves for not also working. And the person in a committed relationship will judge themselves for not also having a big friend group, while the person with lots of friends feels that they're failing because they're single. And in reality no life ever follows a set time line and it's unfair to expect anyone to have it all at once by 20 or 25 or 30 or literally any arbitrary deadline

it actually really doesn’t matter at all and everything will be okay forever