Guilty Or Innocent: Anafenza Ejinn

Conflux, Pt. 5

Anafenza stared up at the tree and shivered.  She pulled away from the Commander’s comforting embrace.  “I…I don’t know what else,” she began, shaking her head.

Stormy interrupted.  “You mentioned a curse.  The vines choking out your tree.  They’re red vines, bloodred vines; what is this curse?”

Ana shook her head.  “When I killed her – the other Jessika – I wasn’t in control of myself.  I was under the control of these…other mages that call themselves ‘Nemesis.’  I was trying to parley with them; I didn’t want more of my friends to get hurt, and so I approached them using an amulet of theirs we had confiscated.”

Stormy blinked in disbelief. “Nemesis.”  She shook her head.  “It’s always a Nemesis plot…”

The Commander looked over at her.  “You recognize the name?”

Stormy laughed once, humorless.  “Yeah,” was all she said, and left it at that.

Anafenza continued.  “I just wanted peace…and they rewarded me for my troubles by using magicks to gain control of my mind, convince me the only way to peace was to silence my friends, starting with Lyta.  I was attacking her when Jessika got in my way and I…”  Ana trailed off – they’d heard this part already.  “I was still trying to kill Lyta when Jessika expired; this cloud of dark aether erupted from her body and surrounded me, subduing me and breaking the magicks that were driving me.  I woke up later in the infirmary…I knew what had happened, I was aware of everything.”  She wiped her eyes – she hadn’t noticed she’d started to cry – and continued.  “I woke up with this scar on my body, the same scar Jessika had born.  Her ‘bloodvine,’ as it were.  Since then, I’ve…heard a strange song…I’ve seen her memories…I’ve begun to use strange abilities she could use…and I’d swear I could feel her presence with me.”

The Commander tilted her head.  “What is aether?”

Anafenza nodded towards the tree.  “That dark fog rolling off the tree?  That is aether.  It’s…what everything is made of.  Aether flows through everything, everyone.  It channels to us from the lifestream.”

The older Jessica furrowed her brow.  “That would explain the strange energy readings, then.  This aether, do you have your own signature of it?  A pool of aether that is unique to you?”

Anafenza nodded.  “That’s how I understand it.”

The other woman nodded. “Ana, this strange energy reading everywhere, this ‘aether.’  It is very similar to your own.  That makes sense; you likened the tree to your own life force.”  She pulled out her scanning device, waving it near Ana.  She held it over the girl’s scar; the steady beeping and whistling of the device suddenly increased in frequency.  “And the scar you ‘inherited,’ it’s practically leaking this aether into the chamber.”

Stormy snapped her fingers. “She inherited that bloodvine curse from her world’s Jessika!”

“Exactly.  And with it, it would seem, a very large chunk of that Jessika’s aether pool…which would then help anchor us all to this pocket dimension.”

Anafenza looked stunned. “You mean…I really have had a piece of her with me this entire time?  I thought I was going insane…”

“And it was that piece that allowed you to come here and join us,” Commander St. Peter continued. “Whatever this aether and lifestream are, they must have reached out to similar aetheric signatures and pulled us all together.”

Stormy shook her head. “Like the stars just aligned just right?”

The Commander shrugged. “Maybe?  But now…we know it’s that ambient aether signature that is sustaining this bubble.  Maybe we can use that to lock on to and get out of here…”

“But how do we get out? We’re somewhat limited on the resources available in here,” Stormy pointed out.

“We are, yes.  But I think I know a way.”  She tapped the arrowhead on her chest, and the small brooch chirped.  “St. Peter to Rafale, come in…”

There was static, before the three women began to just barely hear another sound cutting through. “…ter, this…have you…and unread…are you?”

The three women looked at one another, their faces immediately reflecting the same emotion: hope.

The Warrior of Light from Final Fantasy 14 is so funny. Like there's nothing inherently hilarious, it's pretty standard Fantasy Hero fare, but it's just the epitome of it, because it never ends.

Imagine being a normal person in this world and you see this catgirl living down the street going about her business. One day she's out getting groceries, another she's practicing archery, another she goes on a date with her wife. Then the next day she slays a dragon god summoned from beyond time or some shit. And the next day she's going fishing. And you're not even impressed anymore. Because this person has been single-handedly protecting the world for years. But there's nothing else special about her. She's normal. She's getting the same groceries you are. She raises racing birds in her spare time. She destroyed a giant robot by herself yesterday. She's wearing a new scarf.

Dream Journal 10

We are on our way to Ishgard now to find more on “Jessielle” and her house Vignesang.  Miss Sasani and Miss Sasari were…not extremely pleased to bring her up, and I can understand the pain behind it.  I think most of the caravan knew once Sasani returned for a few moons and…the elezen was nowhere to be seen.  Hearing more of her

Eh, probably for the best

Kiratai in his chair is a hard sight.  He is so proud, and I can see it bothers him to be…helpless?  Maybe that’s not how he feels, I don’t know.  But he is different now.  And I hate I cannot sit on his shoulder anymore

Still, he was a great comfort on the journey here.  Another dream (though I obviously didn’t immediately write it down).  I was younger, in the great river.  It was the day I was left behind – it’s not an easy to forget setting. But I was there, looking across the steppe…and I saw one of the women again.  It was the one with the arrowhead jewelry on her chest, the older one.  She saw me, and we locked eyes.  She immediately turned and hurried away into the rocks.  I followed as quickly as I could, but when I found her, she was disappearing in a swirl of lights and chimes.  Nothing remained of her there.  I searched a little longer, before realizing I needed to return to the river and my family. After that, the dream was the same as it has been before – I am searching for them, and they’ve left me alone.

🙋‍♀️

“We never believe we’re beautiful, no matter how many times we hear it. We never believe it until someone says it in the right way.”

— Francine Prose (via goodreadss)

sorry theres not a single person on this website id pay to follow idc if we’ve been mutuals for six years, if you put up a paywall we’re done

Conflux, Pt. 10

“A tavern…on the ship. I’m not sure the ships of Limsa have a dedicated area to drink.  Granted, pirates tend to just drink wherever…”

The Commander chuckled and took a sip of her drink.  “Do you always talk so much when you’re nervous?”

Stormy giggled, while Anafenza just tilted her head.  “I’m…I’m sorry?”

“You’re in an unknown place, drinking after your life was in danger, on the eve of your life either being in more danger or the threat of you being stranded.  It’s ok to be scared.”  She took another drink.  “We are too…”

Ana just shook her head. “I think I’m more just overwhelmed. I’d imagined other worlds, and I’ve heard stories but…this experience?  Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I’d meet other aspects of myself.  Or, rather…” She paused, frowning and looking away. “You’re not me.”

The women looked at each other with concerned expressions.  Stormy finally reached forward, putting a hand softly on Ana’s back. “I…don’t think that’s true.”

“I’m not Jessika. Jessielle.  Whatever her name was, she was the missing aspect of you, not me.” Anafenza shook her head.  “I feel…guilty that I denied you the opportunity to meet her.”

The Commander shook her head.  “That may be…but you’re you.  And you still have that piece of her inside you that connects you to us.  You’re one of us now.”

Stormy smiled and nodded, then wrapped her arms around the smaller auri and hugged her tight.  “And we’re going to miss you a lot.  I wish we could have gotten to know each other better.” She let go of Anafenza with a small giggle.  “Without the threat of looming erasure from existence hanging over our heads.”

Anafenza and the Commander rolled their eyes.  Ana continued.  “I’m serious though…”

“It happened a long time ago,” the Commander countered.  “And you weren’t in control.  It’s sad, and I won’t lie, we both didn’t want to trust you initially.  But, what you did?  The connection you have to us, to your Jessika?  It helped save us.”

Anafenza took a drink. “I wish I knew how to control it all better.”  She shook her head.  “She was a warrior.  She could use these powers.  And then the two of you.”  She nodded to the Commander.  “Captain of a…a ship in space.  A leader, in the middle of a war, protecting your people.  And you,” she put her hands on top of Stormy’s wrapped around her and squeezed.  “You can make it rain wherever you please.  You’re a hero, protecting the innocent.”  She shook her head.  “I bake sweets and cook breakfasts.  The last time I tried to pick up a sword, I no longer felt as if it were an extension of me. I feel off balance…”

“What, that large sword you were holding in the cave?”

Anafenza glanced over her shoulder at the blue woman.  “I beg your pardon?”

“When you allowed more aether to flow out of you,” the Commander continued for Stormy.  “A large sword appeared from nowhere in your hands. We assumed it was part of this aether you store, connected to your Jess.”

Anafenza shook her head. “If I did…I didn’t do it by trying. This is news to me.”

The other two women glanced at each other in some confusion.  Finally, Stormy gave the auri girl another quick squeeze, and Ana felt her plant a kiss on the back of her head.  “Maybe it’s this ‘bloodvine’ power you received?  Maybe that’s why normal weapons don’t feel right anymore; because you have a weapon inside you now instead.”  She let Anafenza go so the woman could sit back up, before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and bringing her into a side embrace.  “I’m sure you could learn to use that to help…”

The Commander nodded. “I didn’t exactly earn my command in a traditional sense; I was selfish, trying to protect another ship that had my friends on it.  The rest of the command crew was dead – they’d been killed by, well…it’s hard to explain what they are.”  She blushed apologetically.  “Unless you can imagine zombie-like creatures that are part man, part machine?”

Ana shook her head.  “Not really…”

“The Borg.  It’s not too important; what matters is that, when another ship was in danger, a ship I knew had my two closest friends on it, I risked my ship and the survivors on board to defend my friends.” She shook her head.  “It was stupid, and it went against all sound judgement…but I was rewarded for rescuing that ship.  And I was given the Rafale.”  She sighed. “Sometimes, when we don’t expect to or maybe for the worst of reasons…we find that we have that strength, that power, inside us.  I’m sure you have the same, Anafenza of the Ejinn.”  She smiled encouragingly, raising her glass.  Stormy did the same, and Ana joined after a moment.  “To your future adventures, Ana.  We know you’ll do amazing things.”

Anafenza smiled, grateful. The women tapped their glasses together and then downed the drinks.  Stormy giggled as she put her glass down, then tugged on Anafenza’s hands.  “Let’s go dance, c’mon!”

The Commander watched as they left the quiet confines of the Captain’s “VIP section” of the ship’s bar, otherwise known as “Hurricane Hal’s”. As the doors opened to let them out, the bass and high notes of the electronic music blared in from the outside bar, and she watched the two women join the small gathering of crew on the floor of the Category 7 club.

The shark-skin covered journal...

This book belon This is the story all about how my li

Anafenza Eji

Go Away

This is the journal of Anafen

This is the journal of Anafenza Tetheros, of the Ejinn.  I am a protector of the Ivory Tower.  My mission is to protect the lives of the wizards of the Tower.

I’ve already failed.  This is meant to fulfill one means of helping myself come to terms with this betrayal trauma.  I have some confidantes among my friends.  And I have purpose in my daily activities to help distract me.  But writing to this journal - to myself - is the final act Miss Kerin recomended to me.  I have no idea if this is what I’m supposed to do or I’m doing it right but I’m doing it because i hate feeling this way.  That I failed.  That I hurt a dear friend.  That I killed a stranger.  i was used as a weapon and i happily complied.

It wasn’t my fault, at least that’s what Lyta has told me.  Kerin told me.  Kurenai...blames me.  I’m sure others do, too.  I blame me, though I know I shouldn’t...not for the actions I was forced to do, though.  For taking the step and putting myself into that position.  No i didn’t deserve it, but niether did lyta or jessika.

i just wish I knew that this would fix everything

A hug, offered to a River Knight whose heart aches. Featuring @stormscream.

“You’ll always have a place here.”

“I want you to know that it is not always easy to love me. That sometimes my chest is a field full of landmines, and where you went last night, you can’t go tomorrow. There is no manual, there is no road map, no help line you can call; my body does not come with instructions, and sometimes even I don’t know what to do with it. This cannot be easy. But still, you touch me anyway.”

— Ivan E. Coyote (via quotemadness)

Hello! If you’re an active Final Fantasy XIV blog — roleplaying, aesthetic, etc. — could you please reblog this post? It’ll serve as a reference point for people who are looking for new blogs to follow to see who is active from April 1st (not a fool’s joke, I assure you!) and onward!