I Never Talk About These Things But I Can’t Remain Silent.

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HAPPY OCTOBER EVERYBODY

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when you missed your crush so much but you’re still in denial over how much you like him so you resort to teasing but he’s being a serious grump and you just end up being boo boo the fool bass boosted frustrated pining bi edition

RIP CUP (VOLTRON BROOKLYN 99 AU)

the accuracy of this I-

@usernamesarefornurdes

Dab o thehaters

https://www.instagram.com/p/BlNkyC6gWr7/

Also, can we talk about the fact that Lance’s grandparents aren’t anywhere? I’d like to think the Galra showed up and they were like “they can do whatever they want, I’m not moving from this house” and the Galra were like “can’t mess with those fuckers, noooppppee”

Too hot… Nope

Streaming with friends on camera and drinking if anyones bored enough to hop on in

https://mixer.com/Starktarg1111

The feeling of death

A prompt @bribsofvoltron gave me to cure my pain.

⛔️!!!Voltron season 6 spoilers!!!⛔️

Warnings: nightmare? (Do I really need to put this in the warnings? Whatever), bad grammar, Allurance.

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It was silence. No noise, no sound. Even if you tried to scream the waves of your voice would fade into the darknesses and you won’t be able to hear them.

And then, pain.

The headache came from the forehead and moved down to the shoulders. Then it spread to Lance’s whole body that he couldn’t feel moments ago. Everything hurts, he wanted to scream, he wanted to clutch to something and never let go,

But the pain stopped.

And he breathed again.

He could hear the explosions again, he could hear the shouts of his friends. He could hear the fire belt creeping by and he could feel his own fear of the battle they were in at the moment. He heard his heart beats, he felt the sweat dripping from his head, he felt his back aches and his tired hands that lay on the sides of his helpless body.

He saw eyes. Two big blue pinkish eyes staring at him. And a smile. A soft tired smile that said so much just from one look at it. Allura.

But no matter how soft her face was, or how gentle her eyes looked into his, it made Lance fear for his life. Fear for his life that could have been taken away that day.

He knew, he should be thankful to Allura for healing him from her own life’s source, not only that but shooting herself out from her lion just to save him! But he couldn’t take the look of her when he first opened his eyes after he was… after…

After he died.

He shouldn’t be afraid to look at her, he shouldn’t avoide her at all. But after they got back to the castle from that mission Lance couldn’t look at Allura’s face, into her eyes. He couldn’t.

And it’s not the only thing he couldn’t do. Lance also couldn’t sleep.

Everytime Lance has closed his eyes, the same feeling of being trapped in the void of nothingness came back to him. Every time he has closed his eyes he was thrown to that same place again, the dark, noiseless, empty space that surrounded him when he was… out.

And when he was able to sleep it wasn’t for too long. He always woke up- with cold sweat dripping down his face and the feeling of forcing his lungs to gasp for air which seemed to not get in to his mouth- from the nightmare of his team abandoning him, kicking him out of the red lion and leaving him to float in space forever, maybe until he’ll hit an asteroid or collapse to pieces of dust.

Lance couldn’t sleep.

Everytime he woke up from the nightmare, or wasn’t able to fall asleep at all, he found himself walking around the castle and exploring the hallways, from time to time discovering new rooms or accidentally entering his friends’ rooms. He wasn’t even sure where was he going every night, he was just so tired that he hoped to pass out or something.

And of course it effected his doings.

Lance trained in every free time he had, early in the morning and late in the night. Sometimes between the two when he wasn’t able to sleep because of his nightmares.

His punches were weak and it was hard to stay focused on the taget. He tried his hand at shooting, clearly missing the board and shooting the floor instead. He tried to train with his sword, getting thrown at the wall and knocked to the ground a few times in each round wasn’t fun. Lance was so so tired.

Then after his late night training when it was already morning, Lance walked quietly to his room, took a shower, and walked to the kitchen acting like these training sessions never happened.

He couldn’t tell the others. They will force him to end this late night walkings and won’t take him out on missions. They’ll think he’s weak.

Plus, he can’t let himself… die… again. He need to protect the team and himself at the same time. He just has to train a bit more.

“-acne?”

Lance shot his head up and straightened his back on the chair. His vision blurry from the quick movement and his head ached, but he tried to keep his face blank so it won’t be suspicious to anyone. “Hm? Yeah?” Lance waited for his eyes to focus on the person in front of him.

“I’ve been calling you for the past few minutes… Are you ok?” The voice of Hunk sounded in his ears and his heart stopped. Did he really was calling him for that long? It can’t be! Lance would probably hear it by then. “Lonce, you look a bit tired. Have you been sleeping?” Allura spoke from the side of him and Lance didn’t dare to turn his head to face her. “Oh- yeah! Yeah, I did. It’s just too early for me, had a rough night.” He chuckled and waved his hand in the air so they will get off the subject.

“We all had some pretty hard days lately, didn’t we?” Pudge yawned and scratched the top of her hand. Hunk started to talk again but Lance lost track and already was out of focus. He looked down at his food in disuse. He just wanted to sleep.

He put his right elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand, looking up to Shiro who was talking. His voice was just static in Lance’s mind, he couldn’t turn this into words. Lance blinked, blinked again, and at the third blink that was slow than the others Lance finally gave up and drifted off to sleep.

Oh no.

He shot his eyes open to wake up in a dark room. It wasn’t even a room, it looking like space but with no stars and no moons to lit the view. No suns and no castle of lions, empty. ‘Hello…’ he tried to call, but no sound was heard. He tried again, nothing.

He wanted to rub his eyes to see if something is wrong with them, but nothing came up to his vision. No hands, no arms. He looked down. His body was gone. ‘What?!’ He yelled in panic. Where did his body went? What happened to his hands and voice?! Where was he?!

Lance pulled his head, or whatever helped him able to see, and noticed that colors started to create around him to form familiar shapes and bodies.

“Guess we have nothing to do with that.”

Lance vision turned to see the red lion floating in space and Keith sitting in the hangar. A hole opened in the head of red and threw something out, then Keith moved the controllers and the lion flew away. Lance tried to ran over to the lion but his legs, or… whatever, didn’t move and made him frozen in place. The object that was thrown out of the lion float closer and closer to Lance, and finally, he was able to figure out what was it.

It was him.

His helpless body in his blue armor floated towards Lance’s vision and a burn mark covering his whole right side of the face. They got rid of him, they… they threw away his body!

Lance breaths got faster as his heart sunk into itself and his head hurt. N-no, they would never do that, Allura saved him, Allura saved him, he’s alive and well in the castle, he’s alright, he’s ok, he’s-

“Lover boy Lance…?” A voice giggled childishy.

His vision focused on the body again.

“What, did you thought they cared? How sad.”

Lance’s body that was no longer dead after all, seemed to get in control of itself and sat up like it had a floor right underneath him, opening eyes to reveal a yellow bright color shining out of them.

It laughed as the red bayard appeared in his hand, creating a sword. The evil body flew towards Lance and Lance tried to run away, but couldn’t. He was stuck.

It was now standing in front of Lance, angry expression on his face. “You got hit!” He screamed. “You got HIT!!” It screamed again, tasing the sword up. “YOU GOT HIT!!” The yell echoed in Lance’s ears.

“YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED, LANCE.”

Everything hurt and Lance screamed. He fell on something cold and could finally feel his legs, taking that opportunity to hug his knees up to his chest and crying for help.

“Make it stop make it stop make it stop!” He yelled in fear but in relief too of hearing his own voice again.

“-once! It’s just a dream!” A girl voice echoed in his ears.

Lance’s eyes were still closed, but his body slowly came in realization of his arms, legs, head, everything came back and Lance felt like his body was placed and built in those quiet moments. He stopped screaming and his breaths slowed down.

He opened his eyes.

“You see? Everything is ok! Good job Lonce.” The voice spoke again and Lance pulled his head up to search for the owner of it.

The soft smile and blue pinkish eyes.

He jumped and took his hands down from his ears (which he didn’t know were there) to use them to ouch himself backwards to the wall of the room. “S-stay away!!” He shouted as he made his way to the wall behind him. Allura stood up from her crouching position with a worry look on her face. “Lance? What’s… whats wrong?” She asked. Coran (the gorgeous man) ran forward over to Lance and slid down to his right side, putting a hand on his farther shoulder and pulling him into a hug. Lance hugged back.

“P-please… I-I don’t, I don’t want to d-die.” He sobbed into Coran’s chest as Coran pulled him closer by taking his head. “You are alright my boy. You’re back at the castle, breath.” Coran said softly and quietly, rubbing Lance’s back head as he let Lance cry and wet his blue shirt.

“Allura…?” Hunk turned his head from the view of his crying friend to the altean princess. Allura looked worriedly at Lance who was still crying into Coran and a thought crossed her mind. “I-I think it was from the time I relived him…” she said in hesitation.

“You… What?!” Pidge gasped.

“When we were on the mission for Lotor, putting the plates of the planet’s shield back together, Lonce took a hit for me.” She said and looked down to the floor, not daring to turn to th others. “I remember he wasn’t answering, but-but… did he DIED?!” Hunk panicked as Allura nodded slowly.

“But why is he afraid of you?” Shiro stopped closer and out a hand on Allura’s shoulder. She looked up to him with tears in her eyes. “I was the first thing he saw, I guess I remind him that time.” A sob escaped her mouth. How could she think that it will all be ok after this? Lance literally died and she brushed it off like it’s all going to be ok, like he won’t remember this is even happened.

Well it is going to be ok.

“Allura, it’s not your faul-“ Shiro started but Allura cut him off as she ran forward over to Lance and Coran. She crouched next to the two and put a hand on Lance’s shoulder. Lance froze. “Lonce, are you able to look at me?” She asked quietly, almost whispering. Lance shook his head and Allura sighed. “Lonce… I know it’s hard, and I’m s-sorry, for that you had to push me out of the way to take the hit instead of me, I should have-“

“D-Don’t, you dare to f-finish that sentence.” Lance sniffed and wiped the tears as he sat back from Coran’s hug. He looked down to the floor. “I decided it on my own, and it is not your fault at all.” He smiled sadly and chuckled. “Perhaps it should be me than you princess.” He didn’t look up to her.

“What? Lonce, please, look at me.” She took her hand down from his shoulder. Lance wiped another tear that slip down on cheek and closed his eyes, pulling his head up to Allura and slowly opening them again, facing Allura. “Thank you, Thank you so much.” She laughed as tear slid down now on her face. She threw herself into Lance’s arms and into a hug, Lance sitting there, face still looking forward while not returning the hug.

“You worth so much Lonce, never do that again.” She sobbed into his shoulder. Lance shook his head. “I can’t let you guys get hurt if I can stop it.” He said and Allura pulled away from the hug. She looked into his eyes with her hands still on his shoulders from before. “No, no! You can’t sacrifice yourself everytime someone is in danger.” She gave him a pity look. “We are fighting a war, Lonce. We are always in danger.” They both looked down tot he floor.

They sat in silent a few more ticks and then Allura spoke again. “I’m sorry.” She said. “It’s ok, I’ll get over it.” He respone. She nodded.

“We love you.” She said.

“I know…” he answered.

She hugged him again.

“I couldn’t ask for a better friend than you.”

Lance blinked and returned the hug. “Thanks.”