bucky barnes x fem!reader wordcount: 2.2k warnings: mentions of smutty behaviour. an: oh, a brooding bucky, how I've missed you.
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He’s staring at you—no smile, no smirk. He’s been doing it the entire time you’ve been pretending to ignore him. Because you’re annoying the absolute shit out of him, even if you're not doing a single thing.
Sometimes you do this. Push his buttons.
You used to do it with words, annoying him because it humoured you. Sam repeatedly tells him he’s an easy target, easy to wind up. The silence is worse.
Knowing he can’t leave, this one room is the place the two of you need to be.
A simple task, one he usually does alone, yet somehow, you're here. Even if he asks for you not to be, even if he requests anyone but you. It's still you. You who stares at him when you think he doesn't see; you who keeps crossing and uncrossing your leg, either through nerves or agitation—Bucky can't tell.
Because he's mad himself.
With you. At you. At himself.
The lines are all blurring together in an awful mix he can’t unravel.
Mad that you’re here and not safely back at the new HQ Sam and he built. That you're not stuck behind a desk like he’d wanted. You're here, fuming with him.
"Send her home, Sam." "We need her. She's good, talented. Hell, you even vouched for her." His face must have said it all. "Oh, but of course. How stupid of me. Now you don't want her there because she's your girlfriend." "She's... she's not my girlfriend." "Yeah. And I don't have wings."
He throws a stare. Only it doesn't land, not as you look surprised at something on your phone. You've been on it since the people you were keeping tabs on, left the room next door.
Having grown so used to hearing you, whether teasing, taunting or flirting with him, the silence is deafening. So the fact something has stolen your attention means he suddenly needs, and wants, to know what it is.
Jealous.
That's what his therapist said. He grows attachments and becomes jealous. Something to do with the fact he's never had a chance to have anything solid for years. Constantly worrying it'll be taken away.
His own version of fight or flight, or so she said. It makes him more stubborn, more arrogant, and more difficult.
And, because of that, he can't speak first.
He will not be broken by your silence.
Not when he's been subjected to so much worse.
So, he pretends not to notice. Trying not to show how much you’re bothering him, but he’s assuming you can tell. Because you're clever. Ridiculously intuitive. Emotional. All the things he usually finds tiresome, because he doesn't need a person trying to get him to think about how people feel.
Not when he feels so much, but can't let it out.
He doesn't need another person thinking two steps ahead when he's trying to wrap his head around the step they're already on. Because while you're clever, and great at finding a way out of tough spots, he's always the muscle. The one who will pull you from danger, deflect a bullet, knife or another weapon, because you're not strong.
You just pretend to be.
He assumed it was why you began taunting him a year ago. Picking him as an easy target to wind up, no one else in the new Cap team biting as much as him. Snapping back at you, wishing for silence he never gets. Until your comments, turned flirtatious, and all his hatred melted as quickly as your comments shifted.
Because even with his age, he knows when someone is flirting with him.
"Anyone tell you that you look good for a man almost one hundred and ten?" He'd rolled his eyes, secretly not complaining in the slightest. "Is the handsome man, computing?"
He's just grateful you couldn’t sleep that one night all those months ago. Coming down for coffee, all sleepy, hair all out of shape. A dopey smile and a shuffle of your feet before you slid onto the barstool at the kitchen counter.
It’s then he learnt you were softer, gentler than you showed him in the day. Behind those big eyes and a large smile, you were quite funny. The coffee and that conversation at three in the morning turned him from stoic to smiling.
That night, you’d shuffled back to the doorframe, eyes twinkling and smile a little more playful. ‘Maybe we’d sleep better with one another, Barnes?’ His heart having thumped louder in his ears, more violently in his chest. ‘Can’t be any worse than drinking shitty coffee at all hours of the morning. As friends, of course’.
It proved how smart you were, how cunning. Not that he would ever complain. He knew it wasn’t an accident when you curled up to him, even if you said it was; it wasn’t an accident when his lips found yours like he whispered it was.
Everything else after wasn’t an accident, either. When his fingers snaked into your shorts; the way your teeth left a mark on his neck. The way his body slotted against yours, the way you whimpered his name as he coated his fingers in your want.
"You, Barnes, are something else."
He wore that smirk all day, not even pushing his luck about going to your door the next night, instead of finding you in his sheets already. "I thought of trying to sleep alone, but it seemed more fun to be here." Bucky isn't sure he ever got his t-shirt off quick enough, needing your fingers to touch his sides, pulling him in, digging your nails to the point you leave half-moons in his skin.
And then it became a habit.
Then it bled into the day, him seeking you out to bring you a bottle of water, order food with you. Until he was asked whether you were his girlfriend and he froze.
"What are we?" "Oh." "Oh?" "C'mon, Barnes. You caught me off guard. I didn't really expect this from you." "Because I'm a robot?" "Because you've been through a lot, I didn't want to push. I'm not some cold-hearted bitch, Barnes. It's not like you've had ample amount of time to date with the three billion fights and wars you've had to partake in."
And then, he kissed you. Turning the light off, and sliding out of his clothes as he heard you do the same. He had your back to his chest, hair in a clump in his fist as he slid himself in and out, hearing you chant his name, teasing you for as long as he could handle it.
Wanting it never to end.
Having a feeling once it did, you'd end things. Tell him he's a quick fuck, a friend, or something else which would bruise him more than a bullet or fist ever would.
Instead, when your breathing catches back up with you and he's lying beside you, tracing circles with the index finger on his metal hand. You turn your face, trying to find him in the darkness. 'There's no one else for me, Barnes. Just you,' you had whispered. "Is there for you?"
And he said nothing.
Not even when you dressed and asked him to say something, not even as you yanked open his door, the light illuminating the tears on your cheek.
And he's said nothing since. Nothing outside of mission requirements, anyway.
“You got your wish, I'm being pulled.”
Your voice yanks him out of his thoughts. Eyes locking onto you as you roll your head on your neck, not looking up.
He throws a more intense glare, hoping it'll be enough to force you to meet his gaze. It's all he can do as he tries to stop himself from crossing the small space and dropping to his knees.
Because he's aware he fucked up.
He's aware of that, especially as he watches you stand, you padding around the small place as you retrieve the few things you pulled from your bag. Your head bent, hiding any expression with your hair.
And it's that which pulls him to his feet.
Fingers twitching by his side as he sighs, biting the inside of his mouth as he does so. Unsure what to do next. Only thinking about standing up, and making it right, but not sure how to.
“Gun,“ he says.
Watching you turn on your heels to meet his gaze for the first time in fifteen minutes, eyes narrowing. Unsure what he said, until he holds his hand out, waiting.
Even if he really doesn't want to take it.
Even if he wants to say something else.
Because it would be easy to tell you that you were it. That he was so over the cliff in love with you, he's had a ring in his top drawer. That he had meant to say all of that, he had meant to tell you how he fucking adored you weeks before people made comments around HQ.
But, he hadn't. Because he’s not honest. He can’t be honest. So afraid to have anything with meaning, just in case it comes undone all over again.
Placing your gun in his hand, the coolness of it against his flesh makes him swallow.
"You are a real piece of shit," you whisper, looking down before turning back to your bag. "And an asshole for letting me fall for you when you were going to ignore me the moment it got real."
And it's killing him.
Because you're not wrong. He is an asshole, a piece of shit.
But not for those reasons.
It all builds horribly, sitting on him, squashing him. That every moment outside of the ones he's been sharing with you since that night has been horrendous. It's been awful, lonely, and boring. That even when he's having a bad day, it isn't a terrible day when you're there.
That he wants you to marry him, even if he's ancient, even if he's stubborn and frustrating. Even if you have an issue with listening to him, even if he has to bail you out of things.
Instead of any of that, he rolls his jaw and licks his lips. "I know."
Two words, and the room stills.
He should have guessed it. Anything close to the truth does things to places, it makes room quiet, makes hearts thunder and people freeze. His comment, those two fucking words, doing the same.
"You matter to me."
Turning, you meet his stare, as he breathes in and out.
"But, you know that. You know that because I'm many things but I can't keep shit to myself, even if I can from everyone else," he says, checking the safety before throwing the gun on the bed. "I expected to lose you that night, for you to end it. So, when you didn't, I froze.
"Because, even if I brood, and stew, I also am very much in fucking love with you. So, hate me for being a piece of shit and an asshole, but don't think for a second I don't love you back."
You glare, but it’s softer, your jaw a little less tight and a touch slacker. You don't pull away when he moves closer, placing his hand on your cheek, rubbing a gentle circle against your skin.
“You let me walk out of your door because... what?”
He snorts, running his tongue over his teeth.
He thinks of lying.
Making up something like he'd been warned from hurting you, even if it wasn't a lie but rather something he'd chosen to ignore. He thought of admitting it was because he hasn't been close with someone, like this, since before he was shipped off to war.
But you know that.
Because you know him.
“I... don't know.”
You step closer, face still hard to read, as you glare into his eyes. "Hear me now, James. You ever do that again, and by that I mean let me leave a room thinking something that isn't true, and I'll learn how to remove your arm and shove it so far down your throat your fingers will make friends with your spleen."
Slowly, he smiles. It spreads over his face, meeting his eyes as your head tilts, a twitch occurring at the corners of your lips.
"You understand me?"
Nodding, he wraps a hand around your waist. "Loud and clear."
"Perfect," you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "I'll see you when you're back."
Frowning, momentarily forgetting all about you being called away, he reaches for your hand.
"Oh. I'm still needed elsewhere, but it's nice to know you've decided to act your age," you say, with a smirk, pulling your hand from his as you move to the door with your bag. "Enjoy the peace and quiet, Barnes."
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18+ hoes (rough shiii)
Dom Eddie has a special place in my heart. Rough Eddie. Mean Eddie. His hand gripping your jaw so fucking tight it hurts. His fingers hooking over your bottom lip forcing your mouth open so he can spit right in it and make you swallow. His ringed fingers squeezing your throat until you see stars. Forceful and strong. Handprints across your ass. Yanking your hair back as he pounds your pussy. Welts and little bruises litter your skin. Because he knows that’s how you like it. It’s what you beg him for. But my favorite part is picturing Eddie after your ‘rough’ times. Goofy Eddie, sweet Eddie, always making sure to clean you up and take care of you. Making sure you know how good you were for him. How much you mean to him. It’s like a character he plays. I picture it almost like a switch. One second he can be fucking you until you can’t see straight and then it’s like normal Eddie is there and he’s just like “Holy fuck, sweetheart. Who was that in there? That guy’s a fucking freak.” while pouring you both a glass of chocolate milk.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Things are complicated between you and James Barnes. For you, life doesn’t mean much when you never stay dead for very long. But it might just be an ex-soviet assassin that convinces you to start living again.
In Order of Publication // All work is 18+ // Please Read Warnings
Synopsis: So he pushed you in the mud, least you’re not dead.
Synopsis: A mission goes sideways and Bucky is triggered into Soldat leaving him with the consequences.
Synopsis: Dying is the easy part. It’s coming back that really fucks you up
Synopsis: A few little quips during a mission leads to a new chapter in the kink book.
Synopsis: The one and only time you ever heard Bucky say, “Kick his ass for me, doll.”
Synopsis: Bucky seeks to find himself after the events of the mission. Hard truths come to light and three little words just might make it all better.
Synopsis: It’s the Annual Stark Christmas Extravaganza and you hesitate to name what this thing is between you and Bucky. Maybe being spontaneous isn’t always such a good thing.
Synopsis: Enjoy a lazy morning in the sheets with Bucky.
Synopsis: The answer to that burning question, What happened in Moscow?
Synopsis: A little bit of teasing goes a long way.
Synopsis: You’re having a very bad day for no good reason. Bucky’s working and so are your usual gal pals, that calls for some chilling out with your newest bestie.
Synopsis: Your possessive streak is showing.
Synopsis: Bucky enjoys a relaxing day reading while you bake cookies its entirely domestic.
Synopsis: You crash the party and Bucky’s inside Op just for a chance to see him in a suit while Bucky does the oldest and noblest of Spy traditions. The Broom Closet Serenade.
Synopsis: You and Bucky go on vacation and after a little teasing Bucky shows you just how spontaneous he can be.
Confused about the timeline? Here’s a handy dandy list of the fics and when they happen in the Codename Lazarus timeline.
Catch Me If You Can - Ass-Kicking - Netflix and Chill - Emotional Support Assassin - The Daddy Look - Small Deaths - Novel Idea - Calm Before The Storm - From Moscow With Love - Better When Wet - Winter Soldier - Sowing The Seeds - Spontaneous - Easy A - The Broom Closet Serenade
best kept
[bucky barnes x baker!reader]
This is for Birdie's Birthday Bash Writing Challenge!! Happy happy birthday, @buckysbirdie ❤️❤️❤️. This was such a fun way to pull myself back into the creative roll! You're a gem and you deserve to have a beautiful birthday fest.
For my prompts, I chose:🍦 Waffle Cone: Bucky Barnes |🧁 Birthday Cake: Baker | 🍭 “You deserve pretty things.” | 🍑 Secretly dating | 🍓 Mutual pining
warnings: idiots in love, miscommunication, fluff, mention of sex. no body descriptions, no use of y/n.
--
She didn’t mean it the way it came out–you deserve pretty things–like a plea. She intended for the sentiment to land like an observation, based on their few-and-far-between conversations across the register, like the brew of the day is Breakfast Blend or it’s supposed to rain around three o’clock.
But damn him… he flushed. He didn’t smile, quite, but his eyes flicked away and he cleared the embarrassment from his throat, handing over a bill too large for the small black coffee and the intricately frosted cupcake which had nearly given up the whole gambit to his companions, who hung at his elbow with an urgency which could only come from a post-mission adrenaline rush.
He was expressly forbidden from dating anyone inside the compound. He had made that abundantly clear as he fished the buttons of her baking uniform through the holes in the storage closet the day that pull between them became too much to bear. He had still kissed her like he had all the time in the world, and every moment they squirreled away thereafter was precious, but the longer they had to hide in the shadows… the harder it became to keep her tongue from whetting his plush lips where anyone could see. Especially when he picked out a cupcake he knew she had agonized over that morning, thanks to the hastily sent photo he received from the kitchen in the wee hours.
The way lavender buttercream would taste in a forbidden kiss… she ached for it.
He did deserve pretty things. He deserved much more than that, too. But he wouldn’t let her say it. She tried, with her legs tangled in his, to tell him sincerely what he meant to her, how lucky she felt that he would even look her way–but he had shut her down with suffocating kisses and stole all coherent thought. He went another day without knowing she loved him, without her trying to make him listen to her say it.
Maybe that’s why the comment burst out. When she couldn’t say I love you, what could she say? You deserve pretty things, like the cupcake I created because all this love has no place to go, because chamomile is your favorite tea, because it’s one part of you that belongs only to me.
Bucky motioned for her to keep the generous change from his bill, and hastened to the far end of the caf to admire her work from a safe distance. She watched him walk away for only a split second, before turning her attention back to the red-headed woman with a cold brew addiction.
Just wait, his text said. The message had pinged from her back pocket while she ascertained whether or not Captain America wanted a savory scone, so she didn’t see it until he and his cohort departed from the caf.
Clutching her phone over the stove long after the other staff headed home, she stared at the two little words from ‘Jamie.’ No punctuation to hang a hope on, ever. He wasn’t one for soft sentiments. Bucky Barnes touched her with urgency, but he didn’t speak her name with the reverence of a lover. He barely spoke at all, except to coax pleasure from her. She was starting to feel less like a choice, and more akin to a tool he used to blow off steam. It clawed at her heart, making her skin crawl with longing for just one fraction of the effort she was devoting… to a man who had never hidden that he wasn’t supposed to be fucking her.
She couldn’t take much more of such an empty arrangement. How could someone so enmeshed with her bones leave her so devoid of affection, even in the slightest? How could she love someone who stumbled away from a tryst like he’d been stung?
He never showed up before the night shift cleaners did their rounds, but he always showed.
Wait, she did. She jumped when cold vibranium fingers wrapped around her elbow, swiping furiously at her reddened eyes.
“Christ,” she breathed. “You’re a fucking phantom.” She hazarded a glance at him, but his expression was hardened and unreadable. He was frozen at the sight of her persistent tears. She rolled her eyes and eased her arm out of his grip, putting the island between them. Despite the way every hair on her body stood on end in his presence, it was no use hiding the way his silence inspired more tears. She let them streak down her cheeks. When still he said nothing, anger stirred behind her ribs.
“How was your cupcake?” she whispered.
“Um. Good.” Bucky leaned against the counter and folded his arms. The wrinkle between his eyebrows deepened. “Chamomile?”
She nodded. “Your favorite. I, um. I sifted loose leaf tea in with the flour, I wasn’t sure how it would go.”
“It was good.”
“Good.” She gripped the butcher block countertop so hard, her fingers ached.
Bucky let an agonizing minute pass. “You’re crying,” he muttered. “Why?”
She snorted. “Tim’s wearing his big headphones while he does the floors tonight, if you want to risk it out here–if you can stand to fuck a woman while she’s sad.”
He was intelligent, she knew it. It hadn’t taken long to see how his mind whirred to strategize around every possible obstacle to the opportunity to take her in a dark corner, and she couldn’t dismiss the way his compatriots spoke about his work on assignment, even if she only overheard snippets of their conversations in the caf. It came as no surprise, then, when he scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed.
“You wanna be alone. I’ll get out of your hair,” he said tersely.
“No–god.” She laughed, but it stabbed. “I want you. Here. I thought I had made that abundantly clear by sticking my hand down your pants at every opportunity.”
He blinked. “You’re angry.”
“Yeah. Yes, I am. I’m–I don’t know how to say this,” she struggled. “We’re better at the not-talking part of this arrangement. But if I don’t get it out, I’m going to pop!”
Bucky, to his credit, made no move to leave, though every muscle in his body seemed to tense up with the need to flee. Instead, he braced his hands against the counter behind him and nodded for her to say whatever was on her mind. It was then that she noticed that his hair was damp; he never came to her smelling of motor oil, or blood, or sweat, or any hint of whatever duty had demanded of him during the day. It made her want to sob. He came to her clean.
She studied the way his jaw flexed anxiously, and it gave her enough comfort–knowing he was uncomfortable–to make some sort of explanation come out.
“I’m selfish,” she started. “I thought that I could just be content sneaking around, because I’ve been clinging to every bit of affection I can get from you. It was fine for a while. More than fine, Jamie–god, I’m addicted,” she said sheepishly. “But it’s not fun anymore, it’s like I need a fix of you, or I can’t function. I hate that I can’t kiss you where people can see. I hate that you don’t say anything to make me think you want me half as much as I want you. I invented a fucking cupcake based on your kiss after a cup of tea. I–fuck.” She looked up at the ceiling to hold back a new wave of emotion.
“You never promised me anything, so I have no right demanding more from you,” she said. “So. I don’t think I can continue with my part of this arrangement, given that–well, considering that you can’t even show interest in a person without creating a coup with Human Resources–”
“Hang on,” he said softly. “What do you mean a coup?”
“You’ll get in trouble. Especially for sleeping with the cupcake woman–”
“I’m not following,” he said. Then, it dawned on him. “Doll…” Bucky chuckled. From the depths of his chest, a warm and wooly sound that brought heat to her cheeks. He smiled even as he swiped a thumb across his bottom lip.
“I see what this is,” Bucky said. His blue eyes flicked up to meet her gaze and her stomach flipped. Gone was the frown from his expression, and instead, a strange and unfamiliar lightness took its place. “You should’ve told me.”
“What?” she breathed.
Bucky pushed off the counter and walked around the island slowly, until he caged her back against the wood. The scent of his soap–sandalwood and cedar–filled her nostrils. He tipped her chin up.
“You seem to be under the impression that I come here to get my rocks off, and not because I have a sweet tooth. And I’m kickin’ myself for not seeing it sooner. God help me, doll: when I’m around you, I lose all rational thought.”
She wound her fingers into the front of his sweatshirt, a soft and well-worn thing with a faded SHIELD logo over the left pec. “Pardon my French, but those are the most words in a row I’ve heard out of your fucking mouth, maybe ever.”
“‘M a shy guy,” he said.
“I have tried to talk to you about this for months–”
Bucky winced. “Shit.”
“Yeah! You shut me up every time! Hey–stop staring at my mouth.”
He raised an eyebrow as if to say well, go ahead. For good measure, he sat on the stool at the lip of the counter, and bracketed her between his knees. She sighed.
“I don’t know how long this can continue if it can never be more than a secret,” she admitted.
Bucky cleared his throat.“...Are you under the impression that SHIELD has a stake in my personal relationships?”
She blinked. “You said it did.”
“When?”
“Um. The first time. In the pantry.”
He frowned again and looked at the pantry door like it might project the exact conversation they had, amidst a feverish tryst. “I don’t think I did,” he said.
“‘They’ll grill me and everyone in the compound will know–’ You were pretty clear that nobody could know about us. You kept saying it. ‘They can’t know. They can’t know.’”
“I’m not sure I was thinking about anything but putting my head between your legs,” he said frankly, which made her shiver. “Nick Fury doesn’t care about interpersonal relationships as long as they don’t interfere with our work. The guys, however, already give me shit for how often I miss my mouth with coffee because I’m watching the cupcake woman and her damned smile. I was probably talking about them. But I don’t remember, and I’m sorry you’ve been losing sleep over it.”
“I haven’t been losing sleep,” she said bashfully, though her lip slipping into her mouth revealed what a lie that was.
“Don’t you see how messed up I am over you?” The question came out of his mouth like a blessing. She stared at him in astonishment, which made the tips of his ears turn pink. “I may be bad at sayin’ it, doll, but I’m acting up like a lovesick man.” Bucky tucked his fingers into the back pockets of her jeans to pull her closer. “You’ve been hurting. Haven’t you?” When she nodded, his face fell. He huffed. “That won’t do.”
“Tell me,” she asked. “Please, Jamie.”
“You really been thinkin’ about something I said in the heat of the moment… shit, a year ago?”
“Words are precious, where you’re concerned.”
Bucky looked up at her like the sentiment struck a raw nerve. He shook his head. “I’ll be better.”
“You’ve already tripled your usual output,” she teased, letting her hands slide to his jaw. “It’s no wonder you’re good at keeping secrets.”
“What would people say if they knew?”
“Stop. You’re trying to save me from compound gossip?”
He studied her well-loved shoes and the flour which adorned the toes like a deliberate style choice. “Am I a coward?”
“Yeah,” she said, but she brushed his cheek. “For the sake of clarity… SHIELD doesn’t care, but your friends will tease you, and people might gossip, so that’s why you’ve never actually taken me to your room, and why we’ve been sneaking around for the better part of a year?”
Bucky cringed. “In my defense, I thought you got off on it.”
“I did–I do. But I spend about thirteen hours a day on my feet in this damn kitchen. It would be nice to have sex horizontal for once, and not bent over the sink I wash dishes in! Maybe even laying down on a mattress, as crazy as that sounds.”
“You wild woman, you.” He laced his fingers behind her knees. “I’m sorry. All this because I’m afraid of people thinkin’--it doesn’t matter, right?”
“Oh, you’re just now realizing that?” She swatted him on the shoulder. “We should’ve had this conversation eleven months ago!”
He didn’t say anything for a while, but he leaned into her fingers where they dug at the knot in his shoulder while he pondered where they had gone wrong. He gripped her wrist so he could entwine their fingers and study the raised veins on the back of her hand with a curious thumb.
“I always buy whatever pastry you made special for the day,” Bucky said, as if it was a revelation he was making at that exact moment. “I tip you like Rockafeller. I can’t stand the thought of stinking in your presence, so some days I shower twice. I scan the personnel report every morning to make sure you’re on the premises. I check my phone seven hundred times an hour on the off chance you text me. I dream about you. I wake up smelling your perfume. I’m–I’m your damned satellite, woman.”
“Then why are you so worried about people knowing?” she asked it, but she gleaned the answer the moment it left her lips and she pressed her fingers to his to stop him from saying it. His lips pursed behind her hand. She shook her head. “No. You’ll break my heart.”
Bucky waited until she removed her hand before attempting to say a thing. “You don’t know what I’ve done, doll–”
“I’m sorry–you think I didn’t google you within an inch of your life, old man?”
He smiled, despite himself. “My mistake.”
“Please. I would be so proud if people knew”
“Of me?” he asked, incredulous. “Why?”
She leaned in and took the softest drag from his lips, eliciting something like a gasp of amazement from the man. “Doesn’t make a lick of sense, does it?” she murmured against his mouth.
Bucky growled. “If I could have you, I would shout it from the rooftops.”
“You like me.”
“You don’t know the half of it.” He stood, looming over her hungrily. “Could I, doll?”
She would have descended into tears again if her heart wasn’t bursting with happiness. “I would love that, Jamie.”
His eyes sparkle. “People will talk.”
“Good.”
“I’ll… I’ll kiss you over the counter!” He gestured to the very counter which separated them daily. “Other people will see me do it.”
She snickered. “I hope they do.”
“Sam will tell you about every time I’ve made a fool of myself watchin’ you–”
“I can’t wait.”
“You’re not ever gonna question me again, because I’m gonna just come right out and say things. All the time.” For the first time in her memory, Bucky fully smiled. Beamed, even. His eyes were lively with excitement and he reached for her hand. He laced their fingers once more.
“I’m going to walk outta here right now, holding your hand.” He backed slowly towards the door of the kitchen, tugging her with him. “Because I want to.”
“Okay,” she laughed. He was giddy, almost, at the prospect of getting to tell anyone who would listen that he was with her. Being seen together was a dream he didn’t know was within reach. It made her heart clench.
“Wait–” She held up a finger and released him so she could dash back into the pantry. When she emerged from the kitchen with the little pastry box in hand, Bucky raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
“Saved a cupcake for my personal pity party,” she said. “I blew through three dozen of these before noon.”
“Hmm… my cupcake is a best-seller, huh?” Bucky tucked her fingers in the crook of his elbow so he could draw her closer.
“Um. Every pastry I make is yours.” When he couldn’t speak in shock, she nodded. “You’re sort of my muse.”
“You’re jokin’.”
“God, it’s embarrassing–”
“No, no, no! It’s the sweetest thing I ever heard, doll, I promise you.” Bucky stopped in the vestibule where the hallway forked west to the parking garage (where her car was parked), and east to the residential wing of the compound.
“Well.” She shrugged. “I take how you’re making me feel, and I say it in flour and sugar. Everything I couldn’t tell you got baked into pastry. They all have names, too, but I’m not quite ready to mortify myself by admitting some of them.”
He cupped her cheek. “What’d you call it today?”
“Don’t laugh.”
“I won’t. Scout’s honor.”
“‘Jamie’s Best Kept Tea-cake.’” She braced herself for him to cringe, but he didn't.
Bucky looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. “I am an idiot. Never let me forget it.” He turned on his heel and hastened down the east hall. She had to practically skip to keep up.
“Do you hate it?” she panted.
“What–no!” He punched the up arrow to summon the elevator. “I love it.”
“I love you.” The sentiment flew from her tongue like it had been waiting for that very moment to spread its wings.
The elevator dinged to punctuate her admission, effectively squashing an otherwise perfect moment… made awkward by Sam Wilson on his way back from the gym, standing in the elevator and grinning. Bucky glanced between Sam and the woman who just admitted to loving him, and pulled her into the car.
“Sam,” Bucky acknowledged. “You remember–”
“The way you poured dark roast in your lap when she laughed? Sure do. Hi. How are you?”
“She loves me,” Bucky said. She nudged his ribcage. “What? You do. I’m in love with her, also.”
“I’ve gleaned that prior to now,” Sam said smugly.
Her cheeks were hot, but she leaned into Bucky’s side in disbelief. “Hi Sam. I’m embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. While we’re all sharing our feelings, he’s one of the best people I know, so. As far as I’m concerned, this is a fantastic development. Which I’m suspecting isn’t a new one.” Sam smirked as Bucky scratched his head guiltily.
“Wow. Thanks, man.”
“Whatcha got there?” Sam pointed at the little box in her hand.
“That’s ‘Jamie’s Best Kept Tea-cake,’” Bucky explained proudly.
She squeezed his elbow. “It’s chamomile with lavender buttercream.”
“Oh shit, the magic cupcake! He force-fed us all a bite at lunch. Five stars.”
“Thanks.” She shared a smile with Sam. The elevator arrived on Bucky’s desired floor. Sam said little else, but offered a sly salute to the retreating form of his giddy best friend and the woman he couldn’t stop talking about.
At Bucky’s door, he paused. “I didn’t–is this okay? Do you want to come in? You can use my on-suite shower. Water pressure is amazing. I have a very comfortable bed–”
She pressed up on her toes and kissed him quiet. “You love me,” she murmured, “so I’d like to go in.”
“I’m making a fool of myself right now, aren’t I,” he breathed.
“Nah. You’re just… chatty.”
“I don’t think I can stop.”
“It’s okay. 'S pretty cute.”
He smiled dreamily. “Cute is good. I can work with that.” He let them into the room, but the moment the door shut behind her, he tensed up again. “Um. This is it. I don’t have much.”
“Jamie,” she soothed. “I’m so happy to be here, but I’m exhausted. I’ll take you up on that shower, and we can talk more in the morning. Yeah?”
“Oh–of course, doll, there’s towels…” He babbled on, but she temporarily ignored him in favor of unwrapping the little box on his desk. She grabbed him mid-sentence by the front of the sweatshirt. Something had to be done to dissipate his adrenaline, which was hammering away full-throttle to force every little thought which crossed his brain to traverse his tongue, too.
“C’mere.” She held up the small cupcake and offered him the first bite. His lips grazed her thumb and forefinger, but her own chased them to capture the sugar of a kiss. He groaned into the flowery sweetness. She giggled when he dipped the tip of his finger into the frosting, only to drag it over her cupid’s bow. Warmth pooled between her thighs as he licked the purple sugar from her skin.
“Shit,” he breathed. “I’m. I–doll.”
She laughed. “That, James Barnes, is what you taste like after a cup of tea.”
“If I wasn’t already… I am, now.” He peered at her through half-lidded eyes, drunk on sugar and arousal.
“What?”
“In love.”
He said nothing else. Every sentiment which she inspired in him paled in comparison to the feeling of her. The alphabet of her body was language enough to describe the utter terror of exposing every chamber of his heart, and still come up short for the measure of awe. And as for her…
She had kept him locked away in a neighboring vein for so long, that letting the flow of Bucky Barnes through her senses overwhelmed her with the knowledge that yes, she loved him… and yet loved him more as he exposed his vulnerabilities–like his 3-in-1 shower gel, and his pleasant striped pajama pants with frayed cuffs. He would be best kept at her side, of that much she was sure. Not a dirty secret in the pantry, but softly snoring against her shoulder, with no question of whether or not he wanted her, and an abundance of pretty things… many of which came frosted.
--
Thanks for reading! :)
my masterlist - my bucky barnes masterlist
bucky tag list: @peterhollandkait @nahthanks @honeywithemoney @dracris33
Hello! I am aware that I am not the first person to think or write about this topic 😂 But I wrote this and I hope you like it ❄️
Warnings: anxiety / PTSD, Hydra memories
“Baby, I never thought I’d say this… but can you please go put on some more clothes?” Bucky sat on the couch huddled under a mountain of blankets, eyeing the scant outfit you wore. He donned multiple pairs of sweats when your building’s heat went out, adding more layers each day. But you didn’t follow suit. “Just a few more layers? Please? You’ve gotta be freezing.”
With a shrug, you gave your ensemble a quick once over: one of Bucky’s henleys, a pair of sweatpants, and some knit socks. It wasn’t enough to beat the cold, but you didn’t mind. You welcomed the crisp air. And your lack of warmth seemed to bother Bucky more than it bothered you.
“I’m fine, Buck- I like the cold!” you assured him, handing him a mug of hot tea. “I didn’t grow up with real winters- it never got colder than fifty degrees back home. So, I like to experience the chill,” you said with a laugh. “It’s way better than sweating year-round.”
“But this isn’t a ‘chill’, doll. We’re in the dead of a New York winter and our heat is out.” Bucky opened his blanket fortress, sacrificing a few moments of warmth to allow you inside. “If you’re not gonna put on more layers, at least come in here with me.”
The cold raced up his spine, sending him into a sharp shiver. How you shrugged off the freezing temperatures and lack of heating astounded him. And his instinct to take care of and protect you refused to relent.
An over the top, incredulous gasp filled your lungs, “You’re just trying to steal my body heat!”
Bucky gave you a laugh and a sly smile, “Yeah? So, what if I am, huh? What are you gonna do about it, sweetheart?”
With a roll of your eyes, you crawled into his warm embrace- as though you could ever say no to such an offer. He situated you in his lap and pulled you into his body with a satisfied sigh, “Finally. Sam had the right idea when he moved to Louisiana… we should’ve gone with him”.
Bucky was always taking such good care of you. Whether he was stitching you up after a mission or holding you while you cried over Titanic for the millionth time, all he ever wanted to do was help. So, if he was cold and in search of your body heat, returning the favor was the least you could do. And you’d never complain about getting up close and personal with him.
He was always warm, always smelled like leather and sandalwood. And the way he held you had you convinced that nothing could ever hurt you. His embrace was tight yet gentle, always perfectly toeing the line between cuddling and suffocating. He just loved you so deeply- he couldn’t stop himself. Not when he had the chance to hold the love of his life. He wasn’t sure how many of those chances he’d get, and he wasn’t going to take them for granted.
But Bucky’s behavior had been strange over the last few days. Nearly everything he did threw red flags into the air, warning you of trouble beneath his surface. “Woah, woah, slow down-” You watched Bucky down his tea in greedy gulps, “it’s hot, Buck. I just pulled the kettle off the stove. You’re gonna burn yourself.”
Bucky finished his drink with a pained grimace, the tea scalding his mouth and throat. “Don’t care. Too cold.” He set his mug on the sofa table and snaked his arm back under the blankets, pulling you closer to his body. You’d never seen him so bothered by something as inconsequential as weather.
“Well, I care,” you said, freeing your hands from the blankets and placing them on his cheeks, “I’m gonna need that mouth later…”
Bucky’s loud guffaw resounded through your small apartment. It wasn’t the polite laugh he put on in public- no, you pulled deep, loud belly laughs from him with ease. He’d never been so comfortable with anyone; not until you.
“Well, I’m a super soldier, doll. I’ll be healed and ready to go by the time you’re in the mood.” He pressed a deep kiss to your lips before removing your hands from his face and gently placing them back under the blanket. “But for now, I gotta keep you warm.”
“And I gotta do the same for you,” you threw him a wink. Truthfully, you’d use any excuse to get close to Bucky. The broken heater was an inconvenience, yes, but you secretly welcomed it. Regardless of your love for the cold, nothing could ever beat cozying up to Bucky under a metric ton of blankets.
“You know, I think I’m surprised that the cold affects you so much.”
Bucky cocked his head to the side, “What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve got the serum,” you said. “I guess I didn’t think you’d be so vulnerable to weather.”
“Oh, right. Well, it’s really more of a…” he shrugged, “a preference. I mean, if you and I went out in a blizzard- which we will not be doing-
“Lame-”
Bucky gave you an affection eye roll, “I know, I’m sorry, I just ruined your afternoon plans. Anyway, I wouldn’t get hypothermia or frost bite, but you would- well you wouldn’t, cause I wouldn’t let you. But you know what I mean.”
You pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Now that’s chivalry. Real men don’t let their partners get hypothermia-”
“Or frostbite,” Bucky added.
“Oh, my bad- real men don’t let their partners get hypothermia or frostbite.”
He gave you a satisfied nod. “So, it’s a preference. I just don’t like the cold.”
You once again freed your hands from the blankets, too excited by the frigid temperatures to keep yourself contained. The cold seeped in immediately. It found its way through Bucky’s layers and layers of clothing, and wiggled it’s way into his bones.
“But the cold is so fun! Crisp air, winter holidays, snow, ice skating, SOUP! It’s soup weather, Buck!”
“I think you can eat soup year-round, sweetheart” Bucky teased.
“Yeah, but it’s just not the same. I don’t wanna down a bowl of soup after a day at the beach, that’s just wrong.”
Bucky’s head fell back in a laugh. You were so passionate about the things you loved. Whether it was Bucky, your favorite tv show- or soup- you were all in. “Okay, I guess that’s fair,” he shrugged. “But not having heat when it’s only nineteen degrees out is a nightmare- no matter how much soup we eat.” He frowned at your exposed hands and tucked them back into the blanket before reaching for his phone. “I’m gonna call the landlord again, this is ridiculous. He’s so-”
“Buck, I just called like fifteen minutes ago. He said he won’t know anything till Monday.”
Bucky let out a groan, “that’s five days from now.” He ditched his phone and pulled his hand back under the blankets with a shiver. “I guess we’re just gonna sit here till it gets fixed.”
You threw an eyeroll his way, “right, like we’re not leaving the couch until Monday.”
Bucky shrugged.
“How about we go do something?” you said, your tone chipper. “We may not have heat here, but we could go somewhere that does! We could hit the museum or a movie theater- Oh! Or that Barcade on forty-second street! I’ve heard it’s really fun.”
Bucky flashed you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. It didn’t warm his face or lift his features. It was forced. Cold. “Yeah… um, we could do that. I’ll do anything you want, sweetheart. You know that.”
His performance was less than convincing.
You pulled your hands from the blankets and rested them on Bucky’s cold cheeks. “Baby, we don’t have to. I just want you to be a little more comfortable- you’re clearly not happy here. I thought we could just escape to somewhere a little warmer for a while.”
Bucky nodded, “No, I know. I- that’s smart. And really thoughtful. But I just- I don’t…” he paused. Every time he told you about one of his phobias or issues or anxieties, it added to his shame. He had so many problems, so many fears and worries. He always felt like such a high-maintenance partner. There were so many things he couldn’t do, things he prevented you from partaking in because of his PTSD.
And while he never ever barred you from doing the things you wanted, he knew you held back for him. He saw the way you canceled or changed your plans based on him and his baggage. And he hated it.
You could see him digging a deep, dark tunnel in his mind. He often vanished in his own psyche, thinking and overthinking until he got lost. But you brought him back to reality with a squeeze of his hand. “Hey, what’s going on with you?” You only ever wanted to help. But in order to give Bucky what he needed, you needed the truth.
Bucky rolled his eyes at himself, “I hate the cold. And even though it’s freezing in here and going somewhere with heat is a great idea, I don’t wanna leave.” He let out a sigh, one of frustration- not sadness. “I don’t wanna go outside- not even for a minute.”
“Okay, Buck, that’s fine,” you shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. We don’t have to- just know the offer is on the table in case you change your mind.”
“I won’t.” He was certain. Firm.
“Okay…” You chewed on the inside of your cheek, “are you sure you’re alright? It’s like, ever since the heat went out you’ve been extra tense.”
You didn’t plan on bringing it up. Asking Bucky about his taught muscles or clenched jaw only ever made him self-conscious. He preferred to come to you himself instead of having his anxious tendencies put in the spotlight. And he’d gotten so good at asking for help. He was working on himself, learning that he didn’t have to handle things alone. He’d made more progress than he thought possible.
But ever since the heating in your building failed, he was on edge. Every day, he seemed more uneasy. More uncomfortable. And every day, you waited for him to tell you why. But his grace period was over; you needed to know what had him so upset.
Again, he let out a huff, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Convincing.”
Bucky let a small laugh rumble out of his chest. He shot you a smile and found your hands with his under the pile of blankets. “Yeah, I know… I’m not exactly hiding it.”
“And you don’t have to,” you told him. “Just talk to me, baby.”
He wanted to be honest. But doing so required going back almost eighty years to the worst day of his life. It was a lot of mental and emotional effort that he wasn’t sure he had the energy for. Maintaining a mostly-sane façade over the last few days took more out of him than he thought. But he wanted to do his best to appear normal, to avoid adding yet another thing to the list of his issues. He wondered what would be the last straw for you. He feared that, any day now, you’d grow fed up with his countless problems.
As though you could read his mind, you spoke up. “Whatever it is- whatever’s going on in that brain of yours- you know I’m not gonna judge you. I’m not gonna think you’re high maintenance. I’ll never think you’re too much. Ever.”
It wasn’t fair of him to ever assume that you’d see him differently. That you’d think less of him for his issues. And truthfully, he didn’t believe those thoughts when they tried to poison his mind. But blaming his secrecy on fear that maybe- just maybe- your perception of him might change was easier than admitting the truth; the truth that he was simply embarrassed. He was a grown man afraid of the cold- what could be more humiliating?
“Well, like I said, I hate the cold… but it’s not necessarily a preference, like I told you earlier,” he said. “It’s more of a- a fear. Or, not a fear. It’s a…” He took pause, “it’s almost like a Pavlovian response, I guess.”
You simply nodded along and gave his hands a squeeze, assuring him that you were in this together.
“I didn’t always dislike the cold, but… I don’t know how long I laid in the snow after the um-”he cleared his throat, “the train.”
A shudder rocketed up your spine. The train- you hated the train. Bucky didn’t talk about it often. You tried not to think about it. That story always hurt in a deep, hopeless recess of your soul. Thinking about Bucky scared, alone, and bleeding made you want to die. He had nightmares about it sometimes. He’d wake up sobbing, talking about the red snow. The sharp wind. It gutted you every time.
“I thought I was gonna freeze to death,” he said. “I was there for… days. I think. Or maybe it just felt like days. I don’t know. But it hurt- and not just cause of my arm. I was so cold that it actually hurt.”
You never thought about it that way. And suddenly, you felt terrible for ever praising the winter weather. His right hand shook in yours, but no amount of warmth seemed to stop the tremors.
“And from then on- for eighty years- I was cold. I mean, they kept me in Siberia…” His eyes took on a hollow quality. “Everything was concrete. And metal. Nothing gave even the illusion of warmth. And my body tried to get used to being that cold- but I never did. I remember shivering. Constantly. My system was trying to stabilize, to regulate itself.”
“Oh, Buck…” You were already as close as physically possible but did everything in your power to give him any and every extra bit of your body heat. You tugged the blankets tighter around him, rubbed your hands against his chest to generate friction. Anything to make him more comfortable.
“And then they put me under cryo for the first time. And if I thought I was cold before, I was wrong.” He shook his head just slightly, trying to dispel the memories. “It always felt like it took way too long for me to go under, you know? Like I was just hoping to fall unconscious so I didn’t have to feel that cold anymore. But I just waited and waited- while ice crystalized on everything around me. It grew on my skin- I swore it formed inside my lungs. Breathing became painful. Impossible. And then they’d thaw me out the next time they needed me.”
He shrugged, “but it was never warm. Or comfortable. And it didn’t matter where they sent me- they never had to worry about me dying from exposure or hypothermia, you know? So, I never got anything to protect me from the elements, like a coat. Or a blanket.” He laughed at the thought of Hydra doing something kind for him, at the image of Pierce or Rumlow giving him a blanket.
“If I came back from a mission covered in blood, they’d hose me down with freezing water. If they decided to keep me out of cryo for a few back-to-back missions, they kept me in a cold cell. I mean, bitter. Subzero.” He took a deep breath, “Anyway, my point is… the cold elicits this weird response inside me. It gives me this sense of- I guess you could call it impending doom. It sets me on edge. Gives me anxiety. Like I’m waiting for something awful to happen. I start to expect pain.”
“Buck, baby, I’m-” you weren’t sure what to say. “I’m so sorry. We don’t have to go anywhere or do anything- how can I help?”
He didn’t give you an answer. He simply shot an apologetic look your way, “I know that it’s yet another thing you enjoy that I’ve ruined with my backstory. It seems like I have a real talent for making things dark, so I-”
You rested your forehead against his, silencing him. “You haven’t ruined anything for me. Knowing these things about you is important- thank you for telling me.” Once again, you did your best to get closer to Bucky. But nothing you did made him any warmer.
“Well, I appreciate you listening- I know it’s a little ridiculous. I mean, I know nothing bad is gonna happen. I know that I’m safe. But I can’t shake the dread, you know?”
You nodded. “It’s not ridiculous. Your body is reacting based on what it’s experienced- it’s just trying to protect you.”
Bucky shrugged, “regardless, thank you for being so understanding- I know you’re probably getting a little stir crazy.” He dotted a kiss to your nose, “And thanks for letting me steal all your body heat.”
You laughed, “I’m trying to give you more, I just can’t- Oh, I have an idea.” Much to Bucky’s dismay, you snaked a hand out of the blankets. He watched your fingers fly across your screen and wondered who you could be texting with such a determined look on your face. Only a few seconds passed until your phone buzzed with a reply and turned your look of determination to one of triumph.
“Nat borrowed my heating pad last month and hasn’t given it back- so I told her to bring it over ASAP. It gets really hot- you’re gonna love it,” you said. “She’s also gonna bring us soup from the place on Twelfth Street.”
Bucky pressed his lips to yours in a kiss so intense you forgot how to breathe. “Thank you, doll, that’s perfect. Now, if she could just get our landlord to do something about the heat-”
Your head fell back in a laugh that echoed against the walls. “Oh, if you think for a second that I didn’t sic her on his ass, you’re crazy.”
Bucky stared at you in disbelief, “wait, did you really?”
“Of course! He raises our rent every five seconds and refuses to fix anything in this shithole. He deserves to have a Black Widow scare him in the right direction!”
Once again, Bucky stole your breath with a kiss. “You’re an evil genius,” he laughed, “my evil genius.”
You gave him your most menacing laugh, “anything for you, Buck. Just want you to be comfortable.”
Your words eclipsed his joking mood. He softened suddenly and grew dead serious. “Really though, this means a lot to me. I can never thank you enough. I’m so grateful- not just because you listen to all my problems and get Nat to threaten the landlord. You’re just so… you’re understanding. You don’t judge, you don’t criticize. You’re so warm. So good.”
“Buck, this is just what you do people you love. No thanks necessary, okay? You don’t-”
The ringing of your phone stopped you in your tracks. And after only ten seconds, you hung up with a devious smile.
“That was Nat,” you said, “the heat will be back on tomorrow.”
———————————
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bucky who sleeps on the floor because even after all these years he still hasn't gotten used to sleeping on a soft mattress.
he lays next to you until you're asleep then slips off to sleep on his make shift bed on the hard wood floor in the living room.
one day you shift in bed and feel the emptiness besides you, waking you up so you get up and look for him, all sleepy, eyes barely even open, you don't even see him until you almost trip over his feet, "bucky.. what.." he wakes up immediately and you're both distraught at the sight of each other, "what are you doing here.. why aren't you in bed.."
he sits up, feeling bad that you're awake, out of bed and worried about him, "i.. some times i can't sleep in bed" he admits quietly as you sit next to him on the thin sheet he's put on the floor,
"how long have you been sneaking off and sleeping here?" you ask him, knowing bucky so you know this very likely definitely isn't the first time. he'd try to avoid your gaze but he knows you so he knows there's no escaping when you want to know something.
"longer than i'd like to admit" he'd try to joke but drops it when he sees your face, "always" he sighs, "i'm sorry doll, i know i shouldn't, it's just.. hard to shake off old habits when they're this deep in my bones"
with your hands on his tired face, you pull him down until you're both laying back onto the sheet-bed. "what are you.."
"shhh i'm sleepy" you mumble, burying your head into his bare chest, close to the chain of his dog-tags, his right arm underneath you and his metal arm draped over your body, it's heavy but it's comfortable. it's exactly what you need. "don't ever apologise or sneak out of bed without me ever again" you whisper before closing your eyes.
bucky can't help but smile, how did he get so lucky? he doesn't know, doesn't even think he deserves it but he'd be a fool if he lets it go. not to say he's not a fool currently and perpetually.
he kisses the top of your head, holding you close, keeping most of your body on his, technically, you're not even sleeping on the floor. "i'll owe you a massage tomorrow, won't i?"
"oh you absolutely will"
Summary: Journalism was supposed to be about the truth. Politics was supposed to be about power. Neither of you were supposed to be here. But when Bucky Barnes—former assassin, reluctant congressman—leaves you with more questions than answers, you find yourself caught in a different kind of story.
Parts: Part 2, Part 3
MCU Timeline Placement: Between The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Captain America: Brave New World.
Master List: Find my other stuff here!
Warnings: N/A
Word Count: 7.1k
Author’s Note: so, funny thing—i haven't written marvel fanfic in years. like, actual years. but then i saw captain america: brave new world the other day, along with the thunderbolts trailers, and suddenly I am back in it, staring at my bb bucky barnes on a screen and thinking: what the hell are they doing with you, man?
so here we are. this fic is my take on congressman!bucky, because let’s be real—the idea of the winter soldier navigating politics is insane.
welcome to my marvel era, round two. let’s do this.
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The ballroom smelled like money. That specific kind of wealth that clung to old wood paneling and overpriced cologne, where the champagne never ran dry and the canapés were just expensive air. A necessary evil, your editor had called it, but you weren’t sure if that was referring to the event itself or the man headlining it.
James Buchanan Barnes. Congressional candidate.
The podium at the front of the room bore his name in bold, sterile lettering, flanked by banners that screamed "A New Dawn for America", as if slapping a slogan over a former assassin could bleach away decades of bloodstains.
You stood at the back, notebook in hand, eyes tracking the room. The usual suspects filled the space—donors with deep pockets, political strategists sipping aged whiskey, journalists who had already drafted their headlines before the night began. You weren’t one of them. You weren’t here for soundbites or manufactured redemption arcs. You were here because none of it made sense.
You had seen a lot of men climb this kind of stage before. But Bucky Barnes wasn’t one of those men.
Your gaze found him at the edge of the room, standing near the stage but just shy of being part of the performance. He wasn’t shaking hands, wasn’t offering plastic smiles. Just watching. A wolf dropped into a herd of well-groomed sheep.
Valentina Allegra de Fontaine was at his side, speaking with the kind of low, clipped precision that made your skin crawl. She wasn’t here to campaign. She was here to control.
What’s your angle, lady?
The public saw a comeback story. Winter Soldier turned Congressman. A tale of redemption, carefully packaged and sold to an electorate eager for a hero. The public saw a man trying to move forward. You saw something else entirely.
The world didn’t hand men like Bucky Barnes clean slates. It repurposed them.
A tool being repurposed. A pawn moved across the board.
Your theories were running wild. Theories your editor wouldn’t print.
Was this a ploy to install someone useful in Congress? Was Bucky Barnes the distraction, while something worse lurked behind the curtain? What did Valentina get out of this?
Your thoughts were interrupted when the applause started. You turned in time to see Bucky stepping onto the stage. The microphone crackled. He looked at it like it might bite him.
He didn’t want to be here. That much was obvious. But he squared his shoulders, shoved his hands into the pockets of his perfectly tailored slacks—and, in true Bucky Barnes fashion, ignored every expectation of a congressional candidate by wearing a leather jacket instead of a suit. No tie. No crisp blazer.
"I won’t waste your time." He finally spoke.
A murmur of polite laughter rippled through the room. The speech in his hand—written by someone else, no doubt—remained untouched. He wasn’t even pretending to read it.
"I know what people think when they see me up here. And I don’t blame them," he continued, scanning the room. "I know the headlines. The speculation. The questions."
"I’m not a politician. I’m not a hero. I’m not gonna stand here and tell you that I can fix what’s broken, because I don’t believe one man can do that." His voice was steady, but not polished. Not rehearsed.
"I know some of you believe in second chances. And I know some of you don’t."
That got their attention. Small shifts in posture, the kind of barely-there movements that told you when someone was really listening.
"But I know what it means to be let down by the people in charge," Bucky went on, his voice even, steady. "I know what it’s like when the system fails you. When the people making decisions don’t have to live with the weight of them. I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t have a say in your own future."
He let those words hang for a moment, measured, careful.
"What I want—what I’m standing here asking for—is the chance to make sure that no one else has to feel that way."
The shift in the room was subtle. A few nods. Some furrowed brows.
Valentina remained still. Watching. Calculating.
"I won’t stand here and make promises I can’t keep," he continued. "I won’t tell you I have all the answers. But I know that real change doesn’t come from power alone—it comes from the people willing to fight for it. And I intend to be one of those people."
A silence stretched over the room. A well-oiled campaign machine wasn’t meant to have rough edges, and Bucky Barnes was all edges, sharp and unyielding.
You saw Valentina shift slightly at his side. Not nervous. Just calculating.
The applause came a beat too late. Measured. Mechanical.
Bucky left the podium before it even died down, moving through the crowd without stopping for handshakes or fake pleasantries. He was heading for the exit when you stepped into his path.
“Barnes.”
He stopped.
Up close, he looked like a man barely keeping his ribs from caving in under the weight of the performance. He didn’t sigh, didn’t roll his eyes, didn’t bolt—but you could tell he wanted to.
His eyes flicked over you in that sharp, assessing way of his, the kind that cataloged details too fast for most people to notice.
Then, his gaze settled, recognition slipping in like an unwanted guest.
“You’re with The Post, right?”
You blinked. That was unexpected. You had no name tag, no press badge. Nothing to mark you as anything other than another face in the room.
“Yeah,” you said slowly, watching him. “Surprised you remember.”
He shrugged, shifting his weight slightly. “You asked a question at the last panel. Something about the Sokovia Accords repeal.”
You hadn’t expected that, either. The event had been weeks ago, a polished press affair where he had been forced onto a stage with political veterans who spoke in curated soundbites. You’d been one of the only people in the room who had asked about something that wasn’t pre-approved fluff. He hadn’t answered you then. He had looked at the moderator instead, let them dismiss your question before it ever reached him.
Now, though—now he was looking at you like he remembered.
That spurred you on.
“I figured you wouldn’t answer me then,” you said, tilting your head. “Didn’t think you’d remember it, though.”
Something flickered behind his eyes—quick, unreadable. “I remember a lot of things.”
“Must be exhausting.”
He huffed something that might’ve been amusement. “You have no idea.”
Your pulse kicked up slightly, but you kept your expression even. The fact that he recognized you, that he acknowledged he remembered—it meant something. He could’ve brushed you off. Could’ve pretended not to know. But instead, he had given you that small crack in the door, and you weren’t about to let it close.
Maybe, just maybe, he’d—
“I don’t do interviews,” he said.
The frustration hit fast, like a door slamming shut in your face. “Then why are you running for office?”
That got his attention. Not in a that’s a great question way. More like a did-you-just-really-ask-me-that kind of way.
He huffed out something that wasn’t quite a laugh, but wasn’t entirely humorless either.
“You always lead with accusations?” he asked.
“Only when I already know the answer,” you shot back.
He held your gaze, unimpressed. “That right?”
You lifted your chin slightly, holding your ground. “You don’t talk like a politician.”
“Maybe I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like.”
“Then don’t.”
His jaw shifted, a flicker of something in his expression—annoyance? Amusement? It was hard to tell.
“Not that simple,” he muttered.
“Why not?”
He shook his head slightly, not in a frustrated way, but in a you-won’t-let-this-go-will-you way.
You tilted your head. “What’s in this for you?”
He scoffed softly. “You tell me.”
“I think you don’t care about power.”
“Good start.”
“I think you don’t really care about winning.”
The muscle in his jaw flexed slightly, but he didn’t speak.
“And I think if you were really in this because you truly wanted to be, you wouldn’t be standing here trying to figure out how fast you can get out of this room.”
Something flickered behind his eyes, something almost like recognition.
He shifted his weight slightly, exhaling through his nose. “And you figured all that out from what—watching me avoid shaking hands?”
“No,” you said. “I figured it out because I know a man being handled when I see one.”
That hit its mark.
The tension that passed over his expression was fast, but not fast enough. He turned away, heading for the exit.
You followed.
“You don’t strike me as someone who likes being told what to do,” you said, quickening your pace to keep up.
He let out a breath, not quite a sigh, but close.
“You don’t strike me as someone who knows when to quit,” he muttered.
“Not when something doesn’t add up.”
“Yeah?” He glanced at you. “And what doesn’t add up, journalist?”
You scanned his face, searching for the cracks in the armor.
“You.”
That finally made him stop.
The air between you thinned, charged with something neither of you had put a name to yet. But before either of you could break it, a new presence cut through the moment like a blade.
“James.”
Valentina.
She wasn’t impatient. She didn’t need to be.
Bucky’s shoulders stiffened just slightly. Just enough.
“Let’s go,” she said, her voice smooth, effortless. She wasn’t asking.
Bucky hesitated. Just for a second. Just long enough for you to see it.
Your pulse kicked up as you moved to follow him, but security was already intercepting, stepping into your path before you could get too close.
That was fine. You still had one shot.
“Is this what freedom looks like to you, Barnes?” you called after him.
He paused. Right at the SUV door.
Not long. Just enough for the moment to land.
Enough to make you think, for a fraction of a second, that he might turn back.
But Valentina was already ushering him inside. She said something under her breath—too low for you to hear. Whatever it was, he listened.
The SUV door slammed shut, sealing him away like a decision already made.
The tires rolled over damp pavement, red taillights cutting through the dark, and just like that—he was gone. Contained. Controlled. Removed from the equation before anything could spill over.
Your teeth pressed together. Something about it sat wrong. You exhaled sharply, jaw tight. It wasn’t frustration. Not entirely.
You shoved your hands into your coat pockets, fingers curling into fists before— something crinkled.
You stilled, pulse kicking up as you pulled it out, smoothing the creases with your thumb. It wasn’t a napkin. Not a business card. Just a torn scrap of something, the ink smudged like it had been written fast, in bad lighting, by someone who didn’t want to be seen doing it.
Hurriedly shoved into your pocket when? Before security cut you off? When he passed you? When you weren’t looking?
Your eyes scanned the writing—quick, small, just barely legible.
The one with the wolf in the name. 11:30. Tomorrow night. Try not to get followed.
Your pulse kicked up.
The meaning hit instantly. The Lone Wolf Hotel. A place tucked just outside the city’s main sprawl, the kind of overpriced boutique spot that catered to diplomats and corporate deals too dirty to happen in their own offices. The bar inside was upscale, quiet, not the kind of place anyone would expect him to be.
A slow exhale left you as you turned the note over between your fingers. Nothing else. No signature. No explanation. Just the bare minimum needed to make sure you’d know where to go.
And yet, it told you everything.
He couldn’t even write it down outright.
Not the full name of the hotel. Not a direct instruction. No “meet me here” or “I need to talk.” Instead, you got a riddle just obvious enough to be solved, just vague enough to pass unnoticed if the wrong person found it.
Which meant someone else might be watching.
The thought settled in the pit of your stomach, cold and unshakable. This wasn’t just hesitation. This was caution—the kind that didn’t come from paranoia but from experience, from knowing that loose ends had a habit of disappearing when they were left too visible.
A message written plainly could be intercepted. A phone call could be traced. But this? This was a test. A way to see if you were paying attention, if you were quick enough to put the pieces together.
And James Buchanan Barnes—a man who wasn’t supposed to be talking to you at all—had just handed you the first piece.
───────────────────────────────
The hotel bar smelled like old wood and burnt citrus, the kind of place where lobbyists whispered backroom deals over neat whiskey, where the ice in their glasses cracked like splintering bones. You’d spent enough nights in places like this to know the exact moment a conversation turned, the way a man’s posture shifted when he started to lie.
James Buchanan Barnes was leaning against the bar, staring into his drink like it held some answer he hadn’t found yet.
Your editor’s voice lurked at the edges of your mind—Get something real. Unfiltered. Dig into the cracks, find the angle, make him talk. That’s what they wanted. That’s what they always wanted. The headlines had painted him as a walking paradox: former assassin turned public servant, the ghost of wars past, now shaking hands with the same kind of men who once dictated his kill list. The entire campaign was a spectacle, a carefully curated image of redemption.
But you weren’t here for spectacle, weren’t here for an interview. He hadn’t even told you where to meet him outright. He’d left a riddle in your pocket, trusting you to figure it out. And that alone meant something.
You weren’t here as a journalist. Not entirely.
You sat beside him, not waiting for an invitation. He didn’t look at you right away, just exhaled slowly, like he already regretted letting you find him at all.
“You’re late,” he said.
You flagged down the bartender, ordering something simple, something forgettable. “I was giving you a chance to leave.”
His mouth twitched. Not quite a smirk, but close. “Generous of you.”
The bartender slid a glass across the polished wood. The condensation beaded under your fingertips, cold against warm skin. “About the fundraiser—sorry if I pushed too hard.” You paused, then added, “But you don’t exactly seem like the campaign trail type.”
Bucky let out a quiet, humorless laugh. “That obvious?”
“You showed up to a political fundraiser in a leather jacket.”
He shrugged, rolling his glass between his palms. “What can I say? Old habits.”
There it was. The quiet admission, the thing lurking under the surface. You leaned in slightly, lowering your voice just enough to push the air between you into something conspiratorial. “That why you’re doing this? A habit?”
For a moment, you thought he might not answer. He was good at that—silence as a weapon, a shield. But then he sighed, rubbing his thumb along the rim of his glass. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“The truth would be nice.”
His eyes flicked to yours, sharp and assessing. You wondered how many journalists had tried to pry this out of him already, how many had failed.
“I made a deal.”
It wasn’t an answer. Not really. But it was more than you expected.
“With who?” you asked.
His jaw tightened. That was confirmation enough.
“So, what?” You tilted your head. “She dresses you up, parade you around, call it a second chance? A redemption arc?”
He scoffed, low and bitter. “You think she’d let me have a redemption arc? No. She needed something. Someone. And I owed her.”
“Owed her what?”
His grip on the glass went white-knuckled before he forced himself to let go. He didn’t answer. You didn’t push. Not yet.
The bartender passed by, dropping a bowl of salted almonds between you. Neither of you touched them.
“You trust her?” you asked instead.
Bucky let out a breath, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t trust anyone who wants to put me in a suit.”
You glanced at him, amused. “Didn’t see you in one yesterday.”
“Exactly.”
There was something darkly funny about that, something distinctly him. The world was trying to put him into a mold he’d never fit, and he was resisting in the only ways he could. Small, insignificant rebellions. A leather jacket. A late arrival. A refusal to play along with the script they’d written for him.
“You could walk away,” you said, not as a challenge, but as a fact.
He exhaled sharply. “Could I?”
“You tell me.”
Bucky went quiet again, but this time it felt heavier, like he was weighing something, deciding how much to give you. His fingers drummed once against the bar before he spoke.
“I’ve spent most of my life being a weapon. First for the Army. Then for Hydra. Even after, I was something to be deployed when needed. Wakanda, missions, saving the world or whatever. And now this.” His eyes flicked to yours, something unreadable in them. “You think being a congressman is different?”
Your fingers curled around your glass. “No,” you admitted. “I think it’s just another kind of battlefield.”
“I don’t know how this ends,” he murmured. “Maybe I do the job. Maybe I screw it up. Maybe I disappear. Either way, it won’t matter.”
Your stomach twisted at that last part. It won’t matter. The way he said it, so certain, like he truly believed he was just another piece to be moved on the board until someone decided to remove him altogether.
“You matter,” you said before you could think better of it.
He blinked, as if surprised by the conviction in your voice. But he didn’t argue. Didn’t brush it off with sarcasm or shift the conversation. He just looked at you, really looked, like he was trying to decide if you meant it.
You held his gaze. You let him see that you did.
The silence stretched, thick with something unspoken. Then, finally, he pushed his glass away, the ice clinking against the sides. “I should go.”
The words hit harder than they should have. Your fingers twitched against your glass, but before you could stop yourself, you reached out.
Your hand caught his wrist—not tightly, not intentionally forceful, but enough. Enough that you felt the sharp contrast of cold metal beneath his jacket sleeve.
Bucky went still.
You loosened your grip, but didn’t let go.
"Why?" The word tumbled out before you could stop it, voice quieter than you intended, but steady. “Why tell me this? Why trust me at all?”
He didn’t answer.
Not at first.
His gaze flicked down to where your fingers rested against his wrist before lifting back to your face, unreadable. The pause stretched long enough that you thought he wouldn’t speak at all, but then—
“I don’t know.” A quiet admission. “Maybe I don’t.”
That should’ve been the end of it. He should’ve left. But you weren’t done.
“Then why keep me guessing?” you pressed. “Why give me just enough to chase but never enough to catch?”
He looked at you for a long moment. "Maybe I just like the way you ask questions."
You swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady. "That's not an answer."
"No," he said softly. "It's not."
The moment stretched between you until he finally stepped back, breaking the fragile thread that had formed.
You nodded, even though you wanted him to stay.
He hesitated for half a second. Then he reached into his jacket, pulled out a folded napkin, and slid it toward you. When you unfolded it, you found another puzzle scrawled in his careful handwriting. No name. No explanation.
He was giving you another meeting.
Bucky stood, adjusting his jacket, and for the first time that night, he looked like he’d made a choice of his own.
“See you around, journalist.”
Then he was gone, leaving nothing behind but an empty glass.
─────────────────────────────── The coffee shop was barely awake.
A handful of chairs scraped lazily against the pavement as early risers settled in, the quiet hum of conversation mixing with the hiss of steaming milk. The city felt muted at this hour, still rubbing the sleep from its eyes.
You pulled your jacket tighter against the morning chill and took another sip of your cappuccino.
It was too early for this.
You weren’t a morning person—never had been—and yet here you were, fighting off exhaustion at an hour that felt like an insult to anyone with a normal sleep cycle. Bucky’s time. Bucky’s place. And Bucky?
Late.
You sighed, resisting the urge to check your watch again. It had been a few days since the bar, since he had left you with another meeting and just enough to keep you waiting.
Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe you’d read too much into the napkin and the hesitation behind it. Maybe—
A shape moved in your periphery.
Bucky Barnes, as subtle as a gun under a jacket, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched against the morning light. Sunglasses. A baseball cap pulled low, the kind of look that made him more suspicious than if he’d just walked in with his face bared to the world.
You didn’t say anything as he approached, just watched as he slid into the chair across from you.
“You’re late,” you said, voice still rough from sleep.
Bucky huffed a small breath, more acknowledgment than apology. “You look like hell.”
You took another slow sip of your coffee. “I’m not a morning person.”
He pushed his sunglasses up slightly, just enough to scan the menu on the table between you, though it didn’t seem like he was actually reading it. You waited, watching the way his jaw ticked, the slight tension in his shoulders.
Then he moved to scoot his chair forward.
And winced.
Not much. A flicker of discomfort, a small hitch in his breath. But you caught it.
Your fingers curled around your cup. “You alright?”
Bucky stilled, like he was debating whether or not to brush it off. Then, finally, he sighed, shifting slightly in his chair.
“Ran into someone who didn’t like me very much,” he muttered.
“Gonna be more specific?”
“Nope.”
You arched a brow, waiting.
He didn’t elaborate.
Instead, he adjusted his sunglasses, fingers idly tapping against the ceramic sugar holder between you. His knuckles were scraped raw, barely scabbed over. Like he hadn’t let them heal before using them again.
You exhaled slowly, eyes flicking over him—the stiffness, the tension, the careful way he was sitting.
“You sure you don’t need a doctor?” you asked.
He smirked, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You offering?”
“No,” you said, setting your cup down. “But I know a guy who doesn’t ask questions.”
Bucky shook his head. “I’m good.”
He leaned back slightly, tipping his head toward the city around you, as if he were just now remembering that normal life still existed. The early commuters, the hum of traffic, the clinking of silverware. It all moved without him, without any of it touching him.
You could see it—the way he still felt like an intruder in a world that had kept going without him.
“You’re thinking too loud,” you said, watching him.
His lips twitched, almost amused, but the exhaustion beneath it was real.
“Habit.”
You took another sip of your coffee, letting the silence stretch. It was a quiet kind of waiting. Not prying. Just letting him get there on his own.
Bucky exhaled slowly, rolling his shoulders, like he was trying to shake something loose in his head. Then, finally—
“You ever have a moment that changes everything?”
Your fingers tightened around the ceramic of your cup.
“That’s a hell of a question for this early in the morning.”
A low huff of amusement. “Yeah.” He ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek, thinking. Then—"Why’d you become a journalist?"
The question caught you off guard. You blinked, fingers tightening slightly around your cup, the warmth bleeding into your skin. “That’s a hell of a pivot.”
He didn’t shrug, didn’t offer some deflective smirk like you half-expected. Just waited, watching you in that way he did—silent, assessing, giving nothing, expecting everything.
You exhaled slowly, tipping your head slightly. “I don’t know. Always wanted to. Always liked digging.”
Bucky huffed, something dry, almost amused. “Yeah, I noticed.”
You ignored that, rolling your cup between your hands.
The ceramic was warm, grounding, something to focus on as you considered what to say next. You didn’t have to tell him anything. That wasn’t how this worked—you asked the questions, you waited for the cracks to show, you pieced the truth together whether or not they wanted to give it to you.
But that wasn’t what this was anymore, was it?
He had already given you something—a glimpse, a fraction of whatever was going on behind that careful, guarded exterior. And if you wanted more, if you wanted him to trust you enough to give you anything real, then maybe… maybe you had to give him something first.
You exhaled slowly, tilting your head. “I think I just wanted the truth to mean something. Not just what people get fed in carefully packaged press releases, not the version of the world that fits neatly into headlines.” Your fingers curled against the cup, pressing lightly against the ceramic. “I wanted to find the stories that weren’t being told. The ones that actually mattered.”
Bucky watched you, silent, unreadable.
You glanced at him, tilting your head. “The kind of truth people like you usually keep quiet.”
His jaw tightened slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.
You exhaled sharply, shifting in your chair. This was a risk. Not a big one, not compared to the things you’d pried out of people before, but still—you were putting something on the table first. Maybe that was the only way this would work.
“I was there, you know.”
His brows pulled together slightly. “Where?”
“The GRC conference two years ago, after the Flag Smashers hit,” you said. “When Sam Wilson gave that speech.”
That got a reaction. Subtle, but it was there—the small shift in his posture, the slight tightening of his fingers. His expression didn’t change, but you saw the flicker of something behind his eyes, the quick flash of memory.
You took another sip of your coffee, remembering the way the air had felt that day—charged, raw, like the whole city was holding its breath. The sky had been overcast, thick with storm-heavy clouds that never quite broke, the wind carrying the lingering scent of fire, of rubber burned into pavement.
You had been standing behind the barricades, notebook in hand, the press section too stunned, too thrown off script to even pretend at neutrality.
You remembered the ripple of movement through the crowd when Sam Wilson had landed, when he had walked forward, the shield strapped to his back, his presence cutting through the lingering smoke like the weight of history itself.
You remembered the moment when the murmurs of confusion had sharpened into realization.
Not Walker. Not Rogers.
Captain America.
You remembered watching Bucky, too—just for a second.
Not up front. Not standing at Sam’s side. Just off to the right, past the line of cameras, near the edges of the crowd where the light didn’t quite reach. He had been watching, but not as a soldier waiting for orders, not as a man ready for another fight.
It had been something else entirely.
Not resignation.
Not relief.
Something in between.
"You were there," he repeated, voice lower now.
You nodded. “Not front row or anything. I remember thinking—” You stopped yourself, exhaling sharply through your nose. “Doesn’t matter.”
Bucky tilted his head slightly. “No. Go ahead.”
You studied him, watching the way he watched you. A strange tension stretched between you, something unspoken, unacknowledged. You sighed, looking away.
“I remember thinking that this guy—this new Captain America—was out of his mind.”
Bucky’s lips twitched slightly, but he didn’t speak.
“I mean, the whole thing was messy. The GRC was scrambling, the whole city was still shaking, and here comes Sam Wilson standing in the middle of it, telling these people—these politicians—that they had to do better.” You scoffed, shaking your head slightly. “Not a war. Not a battlefield. Just a man with a microphone telling the people who actually run the world that they were screwing everything up.”
You looked at him then, something settling in your ribs. “And I remember wondering—who the hell is actually listening?”
Bucky exhaled through his nose, shifting slightly in his chair. He didn’t speak, didn’t react right away.
But then he finally said it. “I was.”
You swallowed, heartbeat pressing against the inside of your throat. “I figured.”
Bucky’s fingers drummed lightly against the table. “And you? What, that speech change everything for you?”
You huffed, shaking your head. “No. I was already in it. Already reporting. Already writing. I just—I think that was the moment I realized that sometimes the truth actually lands.” You glanced at him. “Even if it takes a while.”
Bucky’s jaw twitched slightly, like he was chewing over something unspoken. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Even if it takes a while.”
Bucky shifted, rolling his shoulders again, like the weight of the conversation was pressing into him, setting into the spaces between his ribs. He let out a slow breath, fingers curling and uncurling against the edge of the table.
"That whole time, I kept thinking—this is the part where it’s supposed to end," he said, his voice low, measured. "Walker loses the shield. Sam takes it. I finish what I started with my list, make peace with what I can, and that’s it."
He exhaled through his nose, shaking his head slightly. "But then I’m standing there, watching him, listening to him say all that, and I realize—I have no fucking idea what comes next."
He tapped his fingers once against the tabletop, like it was an unconscious tic. “It was easier when there was a mission. When I had orders. Even when I was breaking them.” His jaw flexed. “Amends weren’t orders, but they were something. A list I could check off. Proof that I was trying.”
You didn’t speak.
Bucky’s fingers curled against the table, his shoulders going rigid. “And then I was done. Or at least, I was supposed to be. I’d done everything on my list. The shield wasn’t in the wrong hands anymore. Sam had it. He did the damn thing, stood there in front of the world and told them they had to do better.”
His mouth twitched slightly, but there was no humor in it. “And the worst part? I actually believed him.”
You felt something settle deep in your chest.
He ran a hand over his jaw, exhaling slowly. "I believed him, and that scared the hell out of me. Because it meant I still cared." His voice was quieter now, like the admission cost him something. "And if I still cared, it meant I had to do something about it."
You studied him, his sharp profile, the way he was always braced for impact, even when sitting still. “So, you decided to run for office?”
He scoffed, shaking his head. "No. I didn’t decide a damn thing."
You waited.
His hand curled into a fist against his thigh, his knuckles pressing against denim. “She called me two days after that speech,” he muttered. "Valentina."
Your stomach twisted slightly.
Bucky exhaled through his nose, his expression unreadable. "Said she was keeping an eye on me. That people were interested in what I was gonna do next." His fingers tapped once against the table, like a slow countdown. "And then she gave me a choice that wasn’t a choice at all."
You lifted your chin slightly. "Which was?"
He tilted his head slightly, watching you now, his gaze unreadable behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses. "The same thing it always is with people like her. Do this or let someone worse do it instead."
A cold weight settled in your ribs.
"So, what, you took the deal?" you asked carefully.
Bucky leaned back slightly, dragging his thumb along the edge of the table. "Yeah. I did."
Your fingers curled around your cup, the warmth of the coffee suddenly too thin against the cold creeping up your spine. "Because you wanted to? Or because she backed you into a corner?"
He let out a breath, slow and even. "Maybe both."
The weight of those words hit harder than you expected.
Bucky flexed his fingers against the tabletop, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t like politics. I don’t trust them. But I know how this works. Someone like me doesn’t get to disappear. Not really. They either use me, or they take me off the board completely."
Your stomach twisted slightly. "So, you let them use you instead."
His jaw twitched slightly, like he hated hearing it out loud. "I figured if someone was gonna be in the room, it might as well be someone who actually gave a shit."
You exhaled, watching him carefully. “And do you?”
He didn’t hesitate.
"Yeah," he muttered. "I do."
You sat back slightly, watching the way his shoulders squared like he was bracing for something. “That speech,” you murmured. “It gave you a new fight.”
Bucky scoffed slightly, shaking his head. "That speech gave me a headache."
You lifted a brow.
His lips twitched, but his voice was quieter when he continued. "It also made me realize I wasn’t done yet."
You turned his words over in your head, the slow unraveling of this whole thing finally clicking into place. The amends. The shield. The war he thought he was walking away from, only to find himself pulled into a new kind of battle.
One that wasn’t fought with fists or a gun.
One that wouldn’t end with blood on his hands.
Something settled between you, heavy but not suffocating. A quiet understanding.
Bucky flexed his fingers once more before gripping the edge of the table and pushing himself to his feet. He didn’t wince this time, but you knew it was a near thing.
"Anyway," he muttered, adjusting the cap on his head. "That’s your story. You gonna print it?"
You let the question sit, rolling it over in your mind, in your gut.
Then, finally—"No."
Bucky’s head tilted slightly at your answer, something unreadable passing through his expression. A flicker of something like curiosity, or maybe just mild disbelief.
“No?” he repeated.
You shook your head. “No.”
He exhaled through his nose, adjusting the cap on his head, his gaze flicking briefly to the street beyond the café. “Guess we both wasted our time, then.”
You pushed back your chair and stood with him, the scrape of metal against pavement sharp in the quiet morning air.
“Maybe,” you said, sliding a few bills under your half-empty cup. “Or maybe it was never about getting a story.”
That made him pause.
His hands stilled where they had just shoved into his pockets, and he turned his head just slightly, like he was measuring the weight of your words.
Your lips pressed together for a moment before you huffed softly, pulling your jacket on. “I don’t think you really wanted me to print it, anyway.”
His gaze flicked to yours, assessing, sharp, like he was trying to decide if you meant that or if you were just good at lying to yourself.
A beat passed. Then another.
"You always this bad at your job?"
You huffed a quiet laugh, glancing away. "Depends on who you ask."
He rolled his shoulders slightly, shifting like he was testing the stiffness in his muscles, seeing how much pain he could move through before it caught up to him. You could feel him watching you, like he was trying to decide if this conversation was actually over, or if you had more to pull from him.
But you didn’t. Not this time.
"You keep digging like this, someone’s gonna take that shovel from you," he muttered, tugging his cap lower over his brow.
You smirked, tilting your head. "Yeah? You volunteering?"
He scoffed, but there was something like amusement in it. "Nah. I got enough problems."
You eyed him for a second, then took the last sip of your coffee, grimacing slightly when it had gone cold. “Yeah, well. Speaking of problems, you could use a better speechwriter.”
Bucky snorted, shaking his head. “That bad?”
You shrugged. “I’ve heard worse. But you’re not a politician. You don’t talk like one, and the second you try, people smell the bullshit.”
He considered that, tapping his fingers against his crossed arms. “So, what? You offering?”
You let out a short laugh. “I already have a job, Barnes.”
He hummed, adjusting his jacket, hands settling into his pockets. “Didn’t say you had to quit.”
You narrowed your eyes slightly, searching his face for any indication of how serious he was. "Are you actually offering?"
Bucky scoffed, but his mouth twitched like he was fighting the urge to actually smile. “I don’t know. You got any experience making guys like me look good on paper?"
You clicked your tongue. "Not enough to work miracles, but I can fake it."
Bucky exhaled, shaking his head slightly, but there was something lighter in the motion, something that hadn’t been there before. "Think about it."
You huffed, watching him as he turned slightly, hands still shoved deep in his pockets.
Then he hesitated. Just for a second.
And without looking at you, he pulled one hand free, fingers curled around a small scrap of paper. He held it between two fingers, loose, like it didn’t really matter if you took it or not.
"Here," he muttered, voice gruff.
You glanced at the paper before taking it, your fingers brushing against his just briefly as you unfolded it. The handwriting was small, deliberate. A phone number.
You stared at it for a beat before looking back up at him.
“What, you’re not gonna make me solve another puzzle this time?”
He huffed, something like amusement flickering across his face. “Figured I’d make it easy. Just this once.”
You rolled your eyes, tucking the paper into your pocket before you could think better of it. “Generous.”
Bucky shifted his weight slightly, watching you, and for a second, neither of you spoke.
Something settled between you—not quite trust, not quite anything defined, but something real.
"Just promise me one thing," you said, before you even realized you were saying it.
He glanced at you, waiting.
"Don’t let them use you up," you murmured.
Something shifted in his expression, something heavy but not unkind. He watched you for a long moment, then exhaled slowly, dipping his chin in something like acknowledgment.
Then he turned, disappearing into the waking city.
You stood there for a second longer, rolling his words around in your head, the offer that wasn’t really an offer, the door he had left cracked open just enough to be stepped through.
You sighed, dragging a hand through your hair before stepping away from the table, shoving your hands deep into your coat pockets. Your fingers brushed against the folded paper he’d slid into your jacket at the fundraiser days ago—the first invitation, the first test.
And now?
Now, it wasn’t a test anymore.
You weren’t naive. You knew what Bucky Barnes was, what people like Valentina wanted him to be. He wasn’t the first man in power who didn’t belong there, who had been placed on a chessboard he never asked to play on. But the difference—the thing that had been picking at the back of your brain since the moment he left that scrap of paper in your pocket—was that he wasn’t running away from it.
He wasn’t a politician. He wasn’t a soldier anymore, either. So what did that make him?
You thought of his hesitation when he spoke about Valentina. The way his jaw twitched when he admitted she had given him a “choice.” The way he still spoke about Sam Wilson’s speech, like the words had sunk in too deep to shake loose.
Maybe Bucky Barnes was trying to make the world better. Maybe he didn’t believe he could, but he was trying anyway.
And in the end, wasn’t that why you were still here, too?
You exhaled, tilting your head up toward the slow-rising sun, watching the light burn away the last of the morning mist. A journalist and a congressman. Two people who had spent their entire lives watching the world be torn apart at the hands of people who claimed they wanted to fix it.
And now, both of you had walked into a different kind of war.
You had spent years pulling apart stories, digging into the rot behind the headlines, trying to carve out something real in a world that wanted everything neatly packaged. He had spent years tearing apart governments, leaving bloodstains on the very systems he was now trying to navigate from the inside.
Neither of you were supposed to be here.
Neither of you were supposed to want to be here.
But here you were.
You didn’t know what came next. Didn’t know if his “think about it” was serious or if this was just another moment that would unravel as soon as you tried to hold onto it.
But you had his number now. Had a conversation that wasn’t just a quote in a column.
And Bucky Barnes—whether he realized it or not—had just given you a reason to keep digging.
You smiled to yourself, shaking your head as you finally stepped away from the table.
Maybe he had a point.
Maybe you weren’t done yet, either.
Read part 2 here!
june baby [multi-chapter, 80k] if it barks [multi-chapter, 41k] is it getting too much? [2k] a thread of time [16k] our ghost [22k] project kiss me stupid [5k] a new campaign [3k] too much [3k] was that so hard? [3k] a quest for bed [3k] it's a date [4k] love bites [20k] long island iced tea [3k] dark matter [4k] something extra [9k] bruise of the year [3k] sick body, sick smile [5k] sick sounds [5k] something sweeter [2k]
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ untitled fics
Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ only. Fluff. Smut. Unprotected sex.
Summary: After Sam’s party, Bucky begins to navigate uncharted territory as he works to balance his growing feelings and lingering insecurities in his blooming relationship.
Word Count: 11k
notes: Follow-up of Roots and Branches.
Bucky stirred first, blinking against the pale light filtering through the curtains. It was a strange sensation, waking without the shadow of a dream, or worse, the weight of a memory. Instead, there was only the quiet of the room, the steady rhythm of her breathing, and the warmth of her body tucked into his side.
He shifted carefully, with slow and deliberate movements, unsure if he’d disturbed her. She murmured something unintelligible, with her face half-hidden against the crook of his arm, but she didn’t wake.
For a moment, he allowed himself to simply look at her. Something was soothing about seeing her this way, soft, peaceful, and completely at ease. Her fingers brushed faintly against his chest, the contact so light it felt almost subconscious, like even asleep, she couldn’t quite let go of him. He leaned his head back against the pillow, releasing a slow breath of contentment.
She stirred then, brushing her nose against his collarbone, and let out the smallest sigh. Her lashes fluttered, and her sleepy gaze lifted to meet his.
“Good morning,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep, and a soft smile tugging at her lips as she tucked herself closer.
“Morning,” he rumbled softly, and before he could second-guess, he bent to kiss her forehead. He hesitated just enough to wonder if he should’ve rinsed his mouth first, but her sleepy smile disarmed him completely.
Her hand reached up lazily, brushing the curve of his jaw. “You’re up early.”
“Didn’t want to miss this,” he said quietly, as if speaking too loudly might break the moment.
She hummed, nuzzling closer into his chest. “I could stay here forever.”
He wrapped his arms around her instinctively, tightening the space between them. “Nobody’s stopping us.”
And that was when the doorbell rang, three sharp chimes that shattered the peace.
Her body tensed briefly before she tilted her head back to look at him. He met her gaze with a scowl that was equal parts annoyance and resolve. “Ignore it.”
“But-”
He hugged her tighter, the words almost a growl in her ear. “Nobody’s home.”
The doorbell rang again, sharper this time, cutting through the morning like an unwelcome guest.
She froze, as the realization dawned upon her. “Oh no,” she murmured, sitting up abruptly.
“What?” Bucky’s voice was a gruff rumble, and his arms tightened briefly as if to pull her back before she escaped entirely.
Her face flushed with mild panic. “Sam! He’s supposed to fix the cabinets this morning.”
Bucky groaned, rolling onto his back, and shot her an exasperated look. “Really?” His hand raked through his hair, the messy strands falling into his eyes as he scowled at the ceiling.
She scrambled for her sweatpants, hopping slightly as she pulled them on. Despite the rush, she bit her lip to stifle a laugh when she glanced at him again. He looked like a picture of grumpiness, his brow furrowed and a tight jaw, the image of a man who wanted nothing more than to barricade the door and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.
“So, uh...” she ventured awkwardly, slipping a loose shirt over her head. “What do you want to do? Stay here in secrecy? I can sneak you some breakfast if you want.”
His gaze slid toward her, unamused.
“Or, I don’t know... sneak out the back door like some kind of criminal?” She half-grinned, watching for his reaction as she tugged the hem of her shirt into place.
Bucky grunted, leaning up on one elbow. “What are the other options?”
The doorbell rang a third time, louder and more insistent.
“None!” she hissed, darting toward the door, her bare feet padding against the floor. She paused briefly, shooting him an apologetic glance over her shoulder.
“I’ll be quiet,” he muttered with a resigned sigh, lying back and draping his arm over his face.
Suppressing a laugh, she opened the door with the best attempt at nonchalance. “Sorry, overslept,” she said, offering Sam a sheepish smile.
Sam raised an eyebrow, looking past her toward the faint creak of floorboards inside. “You sure about that?”
Her heart skipped a beat, but she kept her face composed, stepping slightly to the side to block his view. “Positive.”
As they entered the house, Sam glanced around and didn’t say anything, but his brow lifted ever so slightly before he turned back to her. “Didn’t see you stick around long at the grill last night,” he commented casually, taking a seat at the small kitchen table.
“Oh,” she began, busying herself with tidying up the counter. “I had a headache, so I didn’t want to overstay. Besides, you looked pretty engaged with those guys, and I didn’t want to interrupt.”
Sam leaned back in his chair, muttering, “Uh-huh...”
They made small talk, mostly about the cabinets and how long the repairs would take. He occasionally shot her a curious glance, but she managed to deflect most of his subtle prodding.
Bucky, meanwhile, slipped out of the bedroom and padded to the bathroom, his bare feet making the wooden floors creak faintly. Sam’s ears perked up slightly at the sound, but he didn’t let on, instead continuing the conversation about varnish options and hardware.
The bathroom door creaked open again, and Bucky’s steps echoed softly as he made his way back toward the room. Sam’s lips twitched with a smirk he barely managed to suppress.
“You know,” he said, leaning forward slightly, “it’s a shame you left early. There was someone I wanted to introduce you to last night.”
She quirked a brow, her curiosity piqued. “Oh?”
“Yeah,” Sam continued, tapping his fingers on the table. “Since you’re still alone and, y’know, apparently still with no prospects.” His grin widened, barely containing the mischief lighting up his expression.
She rolled her eyes, though the corners of her mouth twitched with amusement. “And who, exactly, were you going to introduce me to?”
“John Walker,” Sam said, drawing the name out like it was some grand revelation. “Another wood supplier of mine. He bought blueberry pie in your booth at the festival and chatted with you for a bit. Tall, blonde, lopsided grin?”
She tilted her head, vaguely recalling the man in question. “Oh, yes. I think I remember him.”
“Well,” he said, dripping his tone with exaggerated lament, “he asked me to introduce you, but you’d already left. Such a shame.”
The sound of Bucky’s steps abruptly halted somewhere across the hallway. John Fucking Walker? That asshole?
Sam, pretending to be oblivious, leaned back in his chair with a satisfied sigh. “But hey, no worries. This weekend, I’ll be grilling again. Maybe then-”
Before he could finish, heavy steps thudded purposefully down the hall. Bucky appeared in the doorway, his broad frame filling the space, wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. The look he gave Sam was pointed, sharp, and entirely unamused.
Sam, the traitorous weasel, had the decency to feign surprise, though the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth betrayed him. “Well, well,” he drawled, crossing his arms with exaggerated ease. “Seems like someone else caught that contagious headache last night.”
Her head whipped around to find Bucky, standing in all his glory. Heat rushed to her cheeks as her gaze flickered instinctively downward, then back up. The situation felt like a slow-motion car crash she couldn’t look away from.
There was a beat of awkward silence, her flustered reaction contrasting with Sam’s calm, almost unimpressed observation.
He arched a brow and leaned forward slightly, his tone casual but laced with mischief. “You know,” he said, “you two might’ve thought you slipped out unnoticed last night, but let me tell you, your absence didn’t exactly go under the radar.”
Bucky’s gaze narrowed, and his irritation mingled with the dawning realization that Sam wasn’t just here to fix cabinets. He’d fallen right into his childish trap. He’d exposed himself confirming exactly what he had been baiting him for.
She scrambled for words. “Well, you see...”
Sam, entirely unperturbed, waved her off. “The most exciting thing happening at that grill was the talk about the town festival, the weather messing up gardens, and the rock slide on the north road.” He leaned forward, his grin widening. “You didn’t think people would notice when the newest addition to the town and the hard-to-get collection figure of social events both disappeared at the same time?” Bucky’s eyes narrowed further, his annoyance deepening at Sam’s playful but undeniably pointed observation. “Oh, come on,” Sam added, gesturing broadly. “Small town, Buck. We’re starved for drama. Of course people noticed.”
She felt heat creep up her neck and settle in her cheeks. Meanwhile, Bucky grunted, his irritation simmering just beneath the surface. The thought of being a topic of conversation for the town sent a fresh wave of unease rolling through his body.
“It’s not that bad,” Sam said breezily, clearly enjoying himself. “I give your story a week before it gets old and a new topic arrives.” His gaze appraised Bucky, broadening his grin. “Speaking of which, aren’t you cold?” He gestured pointedly to his state of undress.
Bucky crossed his arms over his chest, his scarred arm brushing against his side as he gave Sam a deadpan stare. “Aren’t you supposed to be fixing those cabinets?”
Sam snorted, shaking his head. “Look at you,” he teased. “Already the man of the house, bossing people around. Real domestic.”
Bucky’s lips twitched, just a hint of a smirk threatening to break through his otherwise stoic expression. “Keep talking, Wilson, and you’re gonna find yourself out on the porch with your toolbox.”
“Relax, big guy,” Sam shot back, grabbing his toolbox with an exaggerated sigh. “I’ll leave you to play house in peace.”
“We’ll let you do your thing,” she called after him, with a light tone.
She placed a gentle hand on Bucky’s chest and gave him a little push out of the kitchen doorway. He went without resistance, though his brow remained furrowed. Without a word, she took his hand and led him down the hallway to the bedroom, closing the door softly behind them. When she turned, his expression hadn’t shifted. His jaw was tight, and his gaze lingered somewhere on the floor.
“Are you okay?” she asked, softly but tinged with concern.
“Yeah,” he replied, but the lack of conviction in his tone was unmistakable.
She stepped closer, brushing lightly his forearm with her hand. “Bucky,” she pressed gently, “you don’t sound okay. What’s on your mind?”
He exhaled sharply, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t like the idea of feeling... watched,” he admitted after a pause. “This whole thing with Sam stirring the pot... people noticing stuff, making it their business.”
Her heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice. She reached for his hand, lifting it to her lips and pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. “I get that. But I don’t think the people here would give you trouble. They’re probably just curious. It’ll pass.”
He glanced at her, hesitant. Then, with a slight shift of his shoulders, he added, “It’s not just that.”
Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
He hesitated again, looking anywhere but at her, with a palpable unease. “I just... I don’t know what you want people to know. About... us.” He cleared his throat, awkwardly running a hand through his hair. “Or if there even is an ‘us.’”
Her stomach flipped. “Bucky-”
“I mean, people say stuff in the heat of the moment,” he continued quickly, tumbling his words over each other. “Things feel... different in the light of day. And if you- if this-” He stopped, swallowing hard, still avoiding her gaze. “I don’t know if that’s what you want.”
His shyness was endearing and heartbreaking all at once, and it took her a moment to gather her thoughts.
“Wait,” she said, “You’re not saying you’re the one who wants a situationship, are you?”
His head snapped up, alarm flashing in his blue eyes. “No,” he said firmly, “That’s not- God, no.”
“Good,” she said softly, stepping closer until there was almost no space between them. “We’re on the same page then.”
He relaxed marginally, dropping his shoulders as he met her gaze. The corner of his mouth twitched, almost imperceptibly, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers with a tentative softness that quickly gave way as his uncertainty melted. The kiss deepened, and his hands slid to her waist, pressing her against him as hers wove into his hair. The heat between them grew, his grip got firmer as a soft sigh escaped her lips, drawn into the intensity of the moment… until the sharp, rhythmic crack of hammering shattered the haze like a stone tossed into still water.
Bucky groaned, pulling back just enough to press the back of his head against the bedroom door. He closed his eyes and tightened his jaw, as he opened them again to stare at the ceiling in frustration. “I hate him,” he muttered, growling the words.
She stifled a laugh, brushing her fingers lightly over his chest. “He’s just doing his job,” she replied softly.
Reluctantly, he let her go, running a hand through his hair. “I gotta go anyway,” he admitted with a resigned sigh. “Got a quota to fill. Need to deliver it by closing time.”
Her lips curved into a small pout. “You didn’t even have breakfast,” she pointed out, crossing her arms.
He shrugged, grabbing his jeans from the floor. “I’ll sort it out,” he said dismissively, but the way he avoided her gaze told her he didn’t have a plan.
She clicked her tongue in mild exasperation. “Yeah, no.” Before he could argue, she slipped out of the room, leaving him to dress while she headed to the kitchen.
In one swift motion, she grabbed a big tupperware from the cabinet and set it on the counter. Without hesitation, she got to work, spreading jam on slices of bread, stacking three sandwiches neatly inside. On the side, she crammed in four cookies and a few slices of freshly cut apple, tucking the lid into place with satisfaction.
Sam, hammer still in hand, peeked over from the corner of his eye and grinned. “Oh, you’re gonna spoil him rotten, aren’t ya?”
She quirked a brow, unbothered. “I intend to, yes.”
Sam laughed, leaning against the counter briefly. “Good,” he said with an approving nod. “Someone has to, baking queen. He deserves it.”
Her expression softened slightly, and she gave a small, conspiratorial smile before putting the tupperware in a cloth bag and heading back toward the hallway.
Bucky was buttoning his flannel shirt when she returned, with the bag in her hands. He glanced up at the sound of her footsteps, “What’s that?” he asked, nodding toward the flowery sack as he reached for his boots.
“Breakfast,” she said simply, holding it out to him.
He stared at it for a moment, then back at her, knitting his brows together. “I told you I’d figure it out.”
“And I decided I’d save you the trouble,” she countered, unfazed, stepping closer and pressing the container into his hands. “It’s just some jam sandwiches, cookies, and an apple. Nothing fancy.”
His fingers wrapped around the handles reluctantly, flicking his gaze down to it. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, and she wondered if she’d overstepped.
Then, with a small, almost imperceptible sigh, he muttered, “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know,” she said softly. “That’s why I did it.”
Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line, but his grip on the bag tightened slightly. “Thanks,” he said finally, low and a little rough.
Her smile widened, and she reached out to adjust the collar of his flannel. “Just eat it, okay? And no excuses about being too busy.”
He huffed a soft laugh, relaxing his shoulders as he shook his head. “Yes ma'am." he conceded. "You’re something else, you know that?”
“Good to know,” she replied with a playful smirk, giving his chest a gentle pat before stepping back.
As he turned to leave, he paused hesitantly in the doorway, furrowing his brow slightly as if caught in a thought. Then, without a word, he turned back and crossed the distance between them.
Before she could react, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. It was brief but gentle. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “Really.” He straightened and, without making eye contact, turned and exited the bedroom. The door clicked softly behind him, leaving her standing there with a flutter in her chest and a faint smile on her lips.
After Bucky left, she busied herself tidying up the kitchen and glanced at Sam, who was still diligently hammering away at the cabinets. “Want something to drink?” she offered casually.
Sam paused mid-swing and turned to her with a grateful smile. “Sure, whatever you’ve got.” She poured him a glass of orange juice, setting it on the counter where he could grab it easily before retreating to the living room.
-----
The morning light filtered through the curtains as she settled on the couch, with her laptop balancing on her knees. With a sigh, she opened the highlander’s document which made her roll her eyes every other sentence. She got through four chapters when Sam’s voice broke the quiet.
“All done for today,” he called from the kitchen doorway.
She glanced up, giving him a surprised smile. “That was quick.”
He grinned, wiping his hands on a rag as he stepped into the living room. “So, what’re you working on over here?”
Her stomach sank slightly. Oh no. Not this conversation again.
“Uh, just a manuscript,” she said vaguely, hoping he’d let it go.
But Sam, ever curious, tilted his head and leaned against the doorframe. “What kind of manuscript?”
“A romance novel,” she admitted reluctantly.
Sam’s grin widened. “Romance, huh? What kind? Cowboys? Pirates?”
She sighed, knowing resistance was futile. “It’s a Highlander one.”
That seemed to delight him even more. “Oh, like with the kilts and the swords and all that ‘My bonnie lass’ stuff?”
“Something like that,” she muttered.
Sam laughed, shaking his head. “My mom had a ton of those books, and my sister Sarah used to sneak them off the shelf when we were teenagers.” His grin turned devilish. “Boy, mom whipped her pervy ass when she found out. Thought she was scandalizing herself reading all those heaving bosom scenes.”
Despite herself, she let out a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. “Poor Sarah.”
“Poor Sarah, my ass,” Sam said with a chuckle. “She’s still a sucker for those books. Says it’s the ‘only time she has to herself.’” He made air quotes, clearly still amused by the memory.
She shook her head, laughing softly as she accompanied him to the door. “Well, let’s hope she never gets her hands on this one.”
------
By the time lunch rolled around, she had advanced a lot on her scheduled work for the day and couldn’t stop herself from glancing at her phone. She typed out a quick message to Bucky.
Hey, what are you up to?
Minutes passed with no response. Then, about an hour later, her phone buzzed in her hand, his name flashing across the screen. She picked up immediately.
“Hey,” she greeted warmly, leaning back on the couch.
“Hey,” he replied, with a gruffy tone. She could hear the faint hum of machinery in the background. “Sorry for not answering. Still working.”
“Yeah? How’s it going?”
A long sigh crackled through the line. “The chainsaw broke. Had to switch to one of the old ones. Slower, heavier, and louder. Pretty much the worst.”
Her brow furrowed at his tired voice.. “Sounds like a pain. Did you eat anything?”
“Yeah,” he muttered, though it didn’t sound convincing.
She hesitated, then offered, “I can bring you something. A sandwich or-”
“Nah, I’m good,” he said quickly, though his voice softened just enough to take the edge off the refusal. “Appreciate it, but I’ll figure it out.”
She frowned but didn’t push. “Okay... What time do you think you’ll be done?”
There was a brief pause as he considered. “About seven. Maybe a little after.”
Her lips quirked into a small smile as she decided to push just a little. “Mind if I come by your place when you’re done?”
The line went quiet, the faint buzz of the machinery and distant thudding the only sounds between them. She held her breath, wondering if she’d gone too far.
Finally, his voice came through, quieter and tinged with something shy. “Yeah, sure. If you want. Can’t promise I’ll be much of a host, though.”
Her smile widened, and warmth bloomed in her chest. “That’s okay. I’m not expecting a five-star experience. Just... you.”
His exhale was soft but audible as if her words had taken some weight off his shoulders. “All right,” he said simply. “See you then.”
“See you,” she replied, “and take care.” she added before the line clicked off.
She stared at the phone for a moment, with a lingering smile. No matter how grumpy or tired he sounded, he was still Bucky, the guy who cared enough to try.
He looked briefly at the old phone in his hand, before tucking it back into his pocket and exhaling sharply.
Rolling his shoulder for what felt like the hundredth time that day, he muttered a curse under his breath. The heavier chainsaw and the damp air weren’t doing his arm joints any favors. He flexed his fingers, trying to shake off the stiffness, but it did little to help. As he set the chainsaw down for a moment’s reprieve, his mind wandered back to her words. Mind if I come by your place?
He snorted softly, half-amused, half-bewildered. She wanted to come over after a day like this, to his place of all places. His gaze flicked toward the cabin in the distance, and the thought of her seeing it exactly as it was sent a twinge of discomfort through his system.
He started to mentally tick through the list of things he’d have to deal with before she arrived.
The plates in the sink. Take out the trash. Definitely need to dismantle the makeshift bed on the living room floor. His brow furrowed. Putting a few empty bottles of scotch out of sight wouldn’t hurt either.
The thought of her stepping into his world, even for a little while, made him pause. He couldn’t help to let the doubt creep in, the same gnawing thought that had been with him for as long as he could remember.
How someone like her could bother with someone like me?
He shook his head sharply, as if to dispel the thought, and grabbed the chainsaw again. He didn’t have time to dwell on it, not with the sun dipping lower and more work to finish.
----
The sound of her pen clicking filled the quiet room as she glanced at the clock and mentally sketched out her plan. Bucky was clearly having a rough day, and if he wasn’t going to let her help during the daytime, she’d make sure his evening was better.
Her eyes scanned the kitchen counter before settling on the tenderloin she’d defrosted earlier. Perfect. A baked tenderloin, creamed potatoes, and maybe a good wine, it was simple but comforting, exactly what he’d need after a day like this.
She pulled out her apron and got to work, trimming the meat, seasoning it with rosemary and garlic, and sliding it into the oven. While that baked, she started on the potatoes, peeling and boiling them before whipping them with cream and butter until they were perfectly smooth.
As she worked, her gaze drifted to the wine sitting on the counter, a thoughtful gift from a friend she hadn’t yet opened. Tonight’s the perfect occasion, she thought, setting it aside with a smile.
By the time everything was ready, the kitchen smelled warm and inviting, and she felt a sense of satisfaction at having put the plan together. With the tenderloin resting on a cutting board and the potatoes cooling in their pot, she finished her workload for the day and headed to shower.
Steam filled the bathroom as she rinsed away the day, her thoughts lingering on Bucky, on how tired he must be, on how much he tried to shoulder everything himself. She couldn’t erase the day’s frustrations, but she could lighten the load, even if only for a few hours.
After her shower, she picked through her closet, brushing her fingers over fabrics until they landed on a paneled skirt. It was soft and simple, and it paired well with a blouse she liked. Totally practical, she told herself. Absolutely no ulterior motives.
By the time the food was packed into containers and loaded into the trunk, the sun was beginning to set, painting the horizon in soft hues of pink and orange. She double-checked the tupperwares, the wine, and even threw in a small bag of cookies for good measure.
Satisfied, she slid into the driver’s seat with determination. Tonight, she was going to make sure Bucky felt better, even if he didn’t realize how much he needed it.
By the time she reached the cabin, the evening light was fading, casting long shadows through the trees that lined the narrow road. Her car bumped along the uneven path, the crunch of gravel under her tires breaking the quiet stillness of the woods.
As she pulled up, her headlights swept across the clearing in front of his cabin, illuminating a lone figure by the side of the house. There he was, hauling a bag of trash toward a bin, moving slower than usual.
Caught in the beam of her headlights, he froze momentarily, squinting against the brightness like a deer on the road. His workwear was rumpled, his shirt clinging to his broad frame from a long day’s labor. Dirt streaked his forearms and smudged his face, his hair slightly damp and pushed back haphazardly.
She turned off the engine and got out. His eyes flicked immediately to the bags in her arms, and he moved toward her with purposeful strides, leaving the trash bag forgotten by the bin.
Before she could say anything, he reached for the bags. “Here,” he muttered, brushing her fingers as he took them.
She tilted her head with a playful pout on her lips. “No kiss?”
He paused, slightly furrowing his brow, as though he were genuinely considering it. The truth was, he felt grimy and sweaty, dirt likely smudged across his face, while she looked effortlessly put together. The soft fabric of her skirt swayed gently in the evening breeze, and her fresh, clean scent drifted toward his nose, a stark contrast to his own disheveled state.
“I didn’t have time to… I don’t wanna stain you,” he admitted, as his gaze flicked down to the bags in his hands.
Her expression softened, and a warm smile curved her lips as she stepped closer. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his waist, ignoring the startled grunt he made at the contact. Rising onto her toes, she pressed a quick, tender kiss to his lips. She pulled back before he could fully react, with her eyes bright and affectionate.
“What kind of person would I be if I didn’t greet my man after a rough day at work?” she teased.
His grip on the bags tightened slightly as he registered the words, and a faint blush crept over his cheeks, visible even through the dirt smudged on his face. Her man. The thought settled warm in his chest, a sensation he didn’t know how to process.
He cleared his throat, darting his gaze away as he mumbled, “I guess you’re right.” Turning toward the cabin, he gestured for her to follow. “Come on in.”
As she stepped into the cabin, she paused to take it all in. The space was clean and warm, but undeniably spartan: bare walls, minimal furniture, and everything in its place. It was practical and functional, yet there was something distinctly Bucky about it.
Her gaze lingered on the small stack of books on the coffee table, a worn flannel jacket draped over the back of a chair, and a neatly folded blanket on the couch. Despite the lack of frills, it felt lived-in, quiet, and steady, just like him.
Bucky set the bags down on the small kitchen counter and turned to her, slightly furrowing his brows. “What’s all this?” he asked, gesturing at the containers with a slight tilt of his head.
“Dinner,” she replied, smiling as she stepped closer.
His eyebrows shot up, and he opened his mouth to respond, but before he could get a word out, she cut him off.
“What,” she interjected, playful but firm, “did you think I’d come all the way out here after the day you’ve had just for you to take care of me? Maybe I didn’t make myself clear.” She stepped closer, softening her voice as her gaze met his. “I came to take care of you.”
His lips parted slightly, but no words came out. Instead, he blinked at her, furrowing his brow again as though he wasn’t quite sure how to process what she’d said.
“Come on,” she coaxed gently, placing a hand lightly on his arm. “You’ve been working your ass off all day, and I thought you could use a little help. That’s okay, right?”
He looked down at her hand on his arm, tensing his muscles slightly under her touch before relaxing. After a moment, he exhaled, and the faintest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah,” he muttered, his voice quiet and a little rough. “Yeah, that’s... okay.”
Bucky stared at the bags on the counter. Of course she’d bring food. He slapped himself mentally for not anticipating it, given her nurturing nature. It wasn’t just something she did, it was who she was.
Still, a pang of guilt settled in his chest. He hadn’t asked for this, hadn’t even hinted at it, and yet here she was, going out of her way after what had probably been a long day for her, too. He felt, in some small way, like he was taking advantage of her kindness, even if unintentionally. Lost in thought, he barely registered her stepping closer until she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. His first instinct was to tense, the feel of her against his sweaty shirt making him self-conscious. But her warmth broke through the unease, and he found himself relaxing and reciprocating the embrace. Inhaling the faint, sweet scent of her hair, he felt something in him soften.
“A penny for your thoughts?” she asked gently, her voice muffled against his chest.
He hesitated for a moment, then bit his lip before murmuring, “Just... not used to being cared for like this.”
Her hold on him tightened slightly, and she leaned back just enough to look up at him with a soft smile. “Well, it’s better for you if you start getting used to it.”
He let out a soft, almost reluctant chuckle, as the tension eased further from his shoulders.
“Go wash your hands,” she ordered, stepping back and gesturing toward the small bathroom. “I’ll set the table if that’s okay with you.”
“Maybe I should take a shower first,” he muttered, glancing down at himself, but she waved him off.
“You look starved,” she replied matter-of-factly. “You can shower after. Go on, wash up.”
Bucky arched a brow at her. “What’s in the containers, anyway?”
“Baked tenderloin, creamed potatoes, and a little wine,” she said as she started unpacking the food.
After her words, his face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Tenderloin?”
She nodded, and her smile widened at his reaction.
“I’ll be right back,” he said quickly with unexpected excitement as he disappeared into the bathroom.
A little while later, Bucky reappeared, with his hands clean and his face freshly washed. His long damp locks were pushed back, though a few stubborn strands refused to stay in place, giving him a slightly tousled look. He’d clearly made an effort, even if it wasn’t much, and she smiled at the sight.
The table was already set, the food neatly arranged in the middle, with mismatched enamel plates waiting. As he stepped closer, his eyes widened slightly at the spread before him. The tenderloin, perfectly sliced, the creamy potatoes beside it, it all looked like something out of a dream after the rough day he’d had. The smell hit him next, warm and comforting, and his stomach growled loudly, reminding him of just how little he’d eaten that day.
“It’s still hot,” she said, breaking his awed silence with a smile. “I used insulating containers.”
He nodded, still a bit dazed, and took his seat as she filled his plate. The first bite hit like a revelation, the flavors melting in his mouth. For a moment, he just sat there, savoring it, before digging in with gusto.
She watched with amusement the way he seemed to focus entirely on his plate. When he finished the first serving, he hesitated, glancing at the platter but not quite making a move. “Go on, you know you want more,” she said with a playful shake of her head, adding another helping to his plate before he could protest.
Bucky grumbled something under his breath, though the small, grateful smile tugging at his lips gave him away. He didn’t hesitate with that second helping, and by the time that plate was empty, he finally gave in and asked for the third himself.
“All right,” she teased as she served him again, “better than dino mac and cheese?”
His fork paused mid-air, and a gruff and warm laugh escaped him. “By a mile,” he admitted, shaking his head. “No contest.” The meal continued with more appreciative noises from him, low hums of approval and muttered compliments that only grew as he polished off every bite.
When his plate was finally clean, he leaned back slightly in his chair, resting his hand on his stomach. “I could get used to this,” he said softly, almost to himself, before his eyes widened slightly, and his ears turned faintly pink. “I mean... if you, uh, want to do this again. Another day. No pressure.”
She bit back a laugh, leaning her chin on her hand as she looked at him. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she replied warmly.
Bucky glanced down, and his blush deepened, but the small smile lingering on his face betrayed how much her answer meant to him.
“So... how’s your arm?” she asked gently as she began clearing the plates, glancing at him with a mix of curiosity and concern. “You rotated your shoulder earlier, and you seemed a little stiff.”
Bucky froze, and his eyes snapped to hers. He hadn’t realized she’d been paying that much attention. His first instinct was to brush it off, to tell her he was fine, no big deal. The words hovered on the tip of his tongue… but he’d promised himself not to shut her out. With a sigh, he leaned on the table, running a hand through his hair. “Using the old chainsaw today didn’t help. Heavy as hell, and the weather’s been a pain. Humidity makes it worse. Arm’s been bitching all day.”
She nodded thoughtfully, setting the plates aside before returning to her seat. “How about a massage?”
The question caught him off guard, and he just stared at her. He didn’t quite know how to respond, so he fell silent, mulling it over. It wasn’t like he’d ever been the type to ask for -or accept- things like that. But the idea of her hands working out the knots in his shoulder and biceps sounded almost too good to pass up after the day he’d had. “That’d be... really good,” he finally admitted, “but I should take a bath first.”
She tilted her head, and her expression turned stubborn. “Nonsense.” His brow furrowed as he started to protest, but she cut him off with a shy smile. “I like how you smell, okay?”
He blinked at her, taken aback by her words. His gaze softened, and the tension in his shoulders eased just slightly. He didn’t know what to say to that, how could he argue when she looked at him like that?
“Okay,” he said finally, the corner of his mouth twitching into the faintest of smiles. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure,” she replied, with a warm tone. “Now, take off your shirt and go sit on that stool over there,” she instructed, nodding toward the wooden stool tucked near the fireplace in the living room.
Bucky arched a brow but complied, standing slowly and pulling his shirt over his head in one fluid motion. As the fabric cleared his torso, she couldn’t help but stare. His muscled frame was on full display, and the scars etched across his skin like unfinished stories. He hadn’t spoken of them yet, and she was determined to wait until he was ready to share those chapters himself. Her gaze lingered on the sharp cut of his shoulders, the way his muscles flexed with each subtle movement. Her hands twitched slightly at her sides, eager to touch him, to ease the tension she could see in every line of his body.
He turned and caught her staring, his lips quirked into a knowing smirk. “Did you plot this to take advantage of a tired and wounded man?” he teased dryly. “You stuff me full of food so I can’t move, and then you attack?”
She blinked and felt her cheeks warming up, but a mischievous grin spread across her face. “Maybe,” she admitted with a playful shrug, reaching into her purse and pulling out a small bottle of lotion.
His eyes narrowed slightly, though there was a glint of humor in his gaze. “You planned this, didn’t you?”
“Perhaps it was a little premeditated,” she conceded, shaking the bottle as she stepped toward him. “Now sit.”
Bucky chuckled softly, shaking his head as he lowered himself onto the stool. “Remind me never to underestimate you.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” she quipped, uncapping the bottle and squeezing a small amount into her hands, flickering her gaze briefly to his bare skin.
As she stepped behind him, her heart beat a little faster. She placed her hands on his shoulders, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her fingers, and began to work the lotion into the tight muscles.
The moment her hands touched his shoulders, Bucky tensed, his first thought was the sweat still clinging to his skin. As her fingers pressed firmly into the tight muscles at the top of his shoulders, the tension in his neck began to ease almost immediately, but his mind stubbornly clung to his unease. He shifted slightly, the thought of her hands on his clammy skin making him self-conscious.
She seemed to sense his hesitation, leaning closer until her lips brushed against his pulse point. The kiss was soft but deliberate, and he stilled completely at the unexpected touch. Her fingers pressed deeper into his shoulders as she murmured “I’m not feeling any relaxation, Buck.” Then, her lips trailed a warm, wet line to his earlobe, and he groaned, a deep, gravelly sound that rumbled in his chest. The tension in his body began to dissolve, his shoulders sagging as he exhaled a long breath.
“There we go,” she said softly, with a satisfied smile as her hands resumed their soothing rhythm.
She worked her thumbs firmly along the base of his neck, coaxing the tight knots free, before moving down to his shoulders. Her fingers dug into the thick muscles with just the right amount of pressure, and he let out a low hiss that melted into a sigh. His scarred arm caught her attention next, the touch becoming gentler as she kneaded the firm swell of his bicep. Her fingers traced over the ridges of the scars, not hesitating but mindfully.
Bucky didn’t say a word, but his body told the story, how his shoulders slumped further under her touch, how his breathing slowed, and how the stiffness in his arm seemed to melt away. With each stroke, he let go just a little more, slightly dipping his head forward, parting his lips as another sound escaped from them, a softer, more relieved groan this time, like unburdening himself of a long-held weight.
By the time she finished, moving her hands back up to smooth over his shoulders one last time, Bucky’s body was practically putty under her touch. The knots in his muscles had vanished, leaving him loose and blissfully relaxed. Yet, beneath the calm she’d so carefully drawn out, simmered a different tension. Her warm breath against his neck, the soft brush of her chest against his back, and the intimacy of her touch stirred something deeper, and despite his best efforts to stay still, a very interested part of him was paying close attention to her ministrations.
She stepped back slightly, wiping her palms on a towel she’d grabbed from her bag. “All done,” she announced lightly, “How are you feeling?”
Bucky straightened slightly, forcing himself to keep his breathing even as he glanced back at her. “So good,” he said honestly, in a low and husky tone. “Thank you.”
Before she could respond, he moved with intent, and his hands found her waist pulling her gently into his lap.
Her eyes widened as she settled sideways on his thighs, his hands holding her tightly in place as though she belonged there.
“What kind of host would I be,” he murmured, in a thick and velvety tone, sending a delicious shiver down her spine, “if I didn’t thank you properly?”
Then his lips were on hers, warm and insistent, and she let out a soft moan as she shifted in his lap, the movement drawing her attention to the unmistakable hardness pressing against her rear. Her breath hitched, and her heart pounded as the heat rushed through her body.
When they finally parted, her gaze met his, taking in the tired lines around his eyes. She quirked a brow, with a playful smile. “Weren’t you exhausted?”
Bucky leaned in, brushing his lips against her pulse point before nipping at it lightly. “Never for you,” he murmured.
“You know,” he continued, softly but teasing as his hand traveled under the hem of her skirt, brushing his rough fingers against her bare thigh, “last night I told you why I liked you in dresses and skirts.”
Her breath caught as his hand moved higher. “Oh, I took note,” she answered playfully, kissing his cheek as her fingers traced idle patterns over his chest. She held his gaze with a spark of anticipation. “What are you going to do about it?”
Bucky’s eyes darkened, and the corners of his mouth twitched as his hand slid higher, in a firm and coaxing grip. “Guess you’ll find out,” his voice was barely more than a growl as he kissed her again, deeper and more insistent this time. She gasped softly against his mouth, threading her fingers into his hair and pulling him closer.
His touch became more insistent, sliding one hand up her side, bunching the fabric of her blouse under his fingers. Without breaking the kiss, he unbuttoned it promptly and removed it in two smooth motions. He leaned back just enough to take her in, trailing his eyes over the curves of her body with open appreciation. His lips parted slightly, and a low, almost reverent hum rumbled from his chest. “You’re so damn beautiful,” he muttered, his voice rough with need as his hands moved to unhook her bra.
The straps fell away, and he cupped her breasts, brushing his thumbs over her sensitive nipples. She let out a soft whimper, slightly arching her body into his touch. “Perfect,” he murmured, leaning down to press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the swell of her breast. His lips trailed down, and when his mouth closed around her nipple, sucking gently, a sharp moan escaped from her lips. Her hand flew to his nape, tangling her fingers in his hair as she arched again, pressing him harder against her chest. The pressure of his mouth and the flick of his tongue were enough to send her mind spinning.
He growled softly against her skin, and his other hand slid down from her waist, hooking his arm under her knee, spreading her leg with ease, and angling her body to fit perfectly against his, with her back against his chest. His free hand trailed down, teasing the edge of her panties before pressing against the damp fabric. Her hips bucked instinctively at the contact, and a sharp gasp escaped her lips as he traced slow, deliberate circles over her clothed pussy.
“Today was a shitty day,” he said huskily as his fingers pressed a little harder, drawing another moan from her lips. He leaned forward, pressing his face into the crook of her neck. “I appreciate it a lot what you did here, sweetheart.”
His hand slipped under the waistband of her panties, his rough fingers finding her slick folds with ease. A strangled sound escaped her mouth, as her hand flew to the back of his neck.
“I’m not very good with words,” he murmured. As he spoke, he pushed two fingers inside her, slow and deliberate, the stretch sending a wave of pleasure through her entire body. “But I’m happy. Really.” His confession was soft, almost vulnerable, as his thumb began circling her clit.
Her head fell back, and a moan spilled from her lips as her body arched against him. “Well, I can’t argue,” she panted, words broken by pleasure, “this is a... a nice way of appreciation.”
His lips curved into a small smile against her neck as his fingers moved inside her with a slow, steady rhythm. Each motion drew soft gasps and moans from her lips. “Such a good girl,” he murmured, his lips brushing her skin. “You take care of me, and this is how I take care of you.” His voice was husky, laced with affection, and something darker, rougher.
Her breath hitched as he adjusted his angle slightly, curling his fingers inside her, hitting a spot that made her cry out. He chuckled softly, a low and rough sound in her ear. “There it is,” he growled, his pace quickening just enough to keep her teetering on the edge.
Her hands clutched at his thigh and neck, digging her nails slightly as her hips moved instinctively against his hand. “B-Bucky,” she panted, with a shaky voice, tipping back her head as she lost herself in the sensation.
When he shifted his arm slightly, he chuckled dryly. “Fuck, I smell,” he muttered, half to himself, his self-consciousness creeping back into his mind despite the situation
She turned her head sharply, meeting his gaze. “My God, James,” she said firmly, and her voice was a mix of exasperation and arousal. “I told you, I’m okay with it.”
His brow quirked, and his lips twitched into a faint smirk. “So I’m James when you scold me?” he teased, pushing his fingers deeper, harder, making her gasp and stutter.
“T-That’s right,” she managed, as his pace picked up. “I don’t mind you sweaty after a day of work... I think it’s hot, okay?” she confessed.
His hand stilled for just a second, his gaze lifting to hers in surprise before a wide, wicked grin spread across his face. “You think it’s hot,” he repeated, in a low, teasing drawl. “Well, sweetheart, I think you’re hot when you’re like this.”
Without another word, his fingers moved faster, curling and pressing in ways that made her moan loudly, her head fell back as the pressure built to an unbearable peak. He trailed open-mouthed kisses along her throat, his stubble scraping lightly against her skin as his pace became relentless.
“Maybe,” he murmured between kisses, his voice a husky whisper. “I could be Jamie when you cum. What do you say, darlin’?”
Her moans turned into breathless cries, her body trembling as his words pushed her closer to the edge. His thumb pressed harder against her clit, and with one final, precise movement, she shattered, the orgasm crashing over her in a wave of heat and pleasure.
She called out his name, and her body arched as her walls clenched around his fingers. He didn’t stop, coaxing her through every aftershock, brushing his lips on her ear as he whispered, “That’s it, good girl. Let go for me.”
When she finally slumped back against him with ragged breathing, he pulled his hand back, cradling her against his chest with a satisfied smirk. “So,” he said softly, but with playful arrogance, “Jamie it is, huh?”
She swatted his shoulder weakly, though the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her.
“And now,” he murmured between kisses at the back of her neck, “I’m going to show you exactly what I’m going to do about this skirt of yours,” he stated, his voice dark and laced with promise.
Before she could respond, his hands gripped her hips firmly as he shifted them both to the floor in one fluid motion. Her knees hit the soft rug beneath them, and he pressed himself against her back, slowly grinding his erection against her rear. One of his hands slid up to her waist, holding her firmly in place as his other hand moved to the nape of her neck, pressing her down gently but firmly against the coffee table.
The rough wood met her forearms as her body bent at just the right angle to have her completely at his mercy. Her breath hitched as she felt his hand leave her nape briefly, and the sound of his belt unbuckling and the zipper of his jeans being drawn down made her pulse race.
With one hand still firm on her hip, Bucky gathered the fabric of her skirt and lifted it, baring her ass to him. His large, rough palm cupped one cheek, squeezing it firmly. “Seems to me,” he said, his voice dripping with lust, “you came here intending to be taken advantage of.”
A low chuckle escaped her lips as she arched her back and parted her thighs slightly, lifting her hips toward him. “Can you blame me?” she teased, with a breathy voice, the words laced with anticipation.
His lips curled into a grin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and tugged them down in one swift motion, leaving them tangled around her knees. “Who am I,” he murmured, in a dark and teasing tone, “to deny you what you want, especially after you pampered me, hm?” His pupils were blown as he stared at her pussy, slick and glistening with arousal. A low groan rumbled from his chest as he wrapped a hand around his cock, thick and heavy, precum already beading at the tip. He ran the swollen head through her folds, spreading her wetness over his length. The sensation made her gasp, and press her hips back against him instinctively.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, savoring how wet and ready she was for him. Gripping her hip tightly, he lined himself up and began to press into her slowly, stretching her open inch by inch with the blunt head of his cock.
She mewled as he split her inner walls, the fullness of his cock making her fingers clutch the edge of the coffee table for support. As he slid deeper, a low moan spilled from her lips, as her body adjusted to take him to the hilt. He paused there, pressing his chest against her back as he leaned forward. “Are you alright, sweetheart?” he murmured roughly but tinged with genuine care, though he already knew the answer. The feel of her walls clenching around him, pulling him in even tighter, made it clear she was more than alright.
Her breath hitched again, and her body shuddered under him. She nodded quickly.
Satisfied, he let out a low, satisfied hum, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck before rolling his hips experimentally, drawing a sharp gasp from her lips.
Bucky pulled back almost completely before thrusting forward again, setting a slow but deliberate pace, letting her feel every inch of his cock stretching and filling her. The low, guttural groan that escaped his lips was unrestrained, a sound that vibrated deep in his chest as he rolled his hips again, savoring the way her pussy clenched around him.
It was like something unlocked inside him, the tension he carried in every interaction, every moment of his day, dissolving as he lost himself in her heat. Here, he didn’t have to hold back or second-guess. There was no space for hesitation, no room for what ifs, just her body arching beneath him and her soft moans urging him on.
“You feel so fucking good,” he muttered with a rough voice, the words falling from his lips without filter or pretense. He pulled back to watch the way his cock disappeared into her, tightening his grip as he snapped his hips harder, a sharp slap of skin meeting skin filling the air. “Made for me, aren’t you?”
Her whimper in response only spurred him on, and his hand slid up her back to press between her shoulder blades, bending her further over the coffee table as his thrusts picked up a relentless rhythm.
Her cries grew louder and her fingers clutched at the table for stability as she pushed back against him, meeting his movements with desperation. “Bucky!” she cried out, her voice breaking as his relentless thrusts sent waves of pleasure coursing through her body.
“That’s it,” he growled, brushing his lips against her shoulder as he drove into her harder, deeper. “Say it again, sweetheart.”
“Bucky,” she gasped, as his fingers worked her clit with precision with her body trembling beneath him.
A grin spread across his lips as he leaned closer, his voice rough and teasing. “What about… Jamie? Hmm? Can I be your Jamie when you fall apart for me?”
Her head tipped back, and a flush crept up her neck as the name fell from her lips, breathless and needy. “J-Jamie...”
His groan was low and guttural, and his hips stuttered for a moment before he caught his rhythm again. The way her voice carried his name sent a thrill through his body.
“Fuck,” he muttered, quickening his pace as his free hand slid up her back, holding her steady. “Say it again, darling. Let me hear it.”
“Jamie!” she cried with a trembling voice as the pressure in her pussy built to a breaking point.
“Good girl,” he murmured, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of her neck. “You’re so good for me. Taking all I give you.”
Her walls clenched around him, and she shuddered beneath his body, her voice breaking as she gasped his name.
That was his undoing. His thrusts became harder, more erratic as he chased his release, her pleasure pulling him closer to the edge. “That’s it,” he growled, strained but commanding. “Come for me, sweetheart. Come on my cock.”
She shattered, and her cries echoed through the room as her climax ripped through her body, arching and trembling under his hands.
Hearing her call his diminutive over and over as her body convulsed around him was enough to send him spiraling. With a guttural groan, he followed her over the edge, driving his hips into her one last time as he spilled inside her.
As the intensity ebbed, she slumped forward, over the coffee table, with ragging and shallow breathing. Bucky followed her, pressing his chest against her back as they both came down from the high with their bodies still connected.
For a moment, neither of them moved, and the only sound in the room was their uneven breaths. Then, with a soft grunt, Bucky wrapped his arms around her waist, firmly but gently as he pulled her upright. “C’mere,” he murmured. He shifted, sitting back on the thick rug, and dragged her with him, settling her in his lap. Her back rested against his broad chest, and his arms enveloped her in a warm, protective hug.
She melted into his embrace, tipping back her head to rest on his shoulder as his chin came to rest at her crown. One of his arms enveloped her below her breasts holding her securely against him, while the other traced slow, idle patterns on her thigh.
“You’re amazing,” she said softly, as she reached back with her hand and caressed his stubbed cheek.
Bucky stilled for a moment, her words catching him off guard. He swallowed hard, tightening his arms around her slightly. “I think that’s my line,” he muttered, brushing his lips against her hair. “You’re the one who...” He trailed off, shaking his head with a small, self-deprecating chuckle. “You’re just amazing.”
She turned her head slightly to look up at him, curving her lips into a tender smile. “I like this,” she said, full of affection.
“Hmm?” he tilted his head slightly to glance down at her.
“This,” she repeated, gesturing to the way his arms were wrapped around her. “You. Holding me like this. Feels like home.”
His breath hitched, and he kissed the top of her head gently, tightening his embrace even further. “You… feel like home too.” he admitted, with a softer voice.
After a few minutes of quiet, she broke the silence, “So,” she said, glancing up at him with a teasing smile, “Will I get this treatment every time I cook you a hearty meal?”
Bucky froze for a moment, as her question pulled him from the comfortable haze of their embrace. His body tensed slightly, and his usual awkwardness crept back in as his brain finally caught up with what she was saying.
“... maybe,” he mumbled, his voice barely audible as his fingers fidgeted against her waist.
She blinked, and her smile widened as she tried, and failed, not to laugh. “What was that?” she teased, twisting in his lap just enough to catch the faint pink creeping up his neck. “I didn’t hear you, Jamie.”
At the sound of the name, his eyes widened briefly, and a groan rumbled from his chest as he pressed his face into the crook of her neck, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Don’t...” he started, but she cut him off with a laugh, brushing her fingers through his hair.
“You are so cute, you know that?”
He let out a dry chuckle, tinged with disbelief as he leaned back slightly to meet her gaze. “I’ve been called a lot of things in my life,” he muttered with a wry tone, “but it’s a first time for cute.”
She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “Well, you are,” she said firmly, her eyes bright with affection. “And I dare anyone to say otherwise.”
His lips twitched, the faintest smile breaking through his usual reserve. “You’re something else,” he murmured, tightening his arms around her as he buried his face in her hair again.
He held her close for a moment longer, as her warmth made it harder to let go. Finally, he cleared his throat, breaking the comfortable silence. “You... wanna stay the night?” he asked, casually, but laced with a hint of hesitation.
Her lips curved into a soft smile as she leaned back just enough to meet his gaze. “I’d love to.”
“Good,” he said gruffly but filled with satisfaction. Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “And no one’s gonna be ringing the doorbell early in the morning here,” he grumped.
She chuckled, shaking her head. “Well, that is definitely a bonus.”
Her laughter eased some of the tension in his chest, but it crept back just as quickly. For a moment he froze, a flicker of doubt crossed his features as his mind wandered to his unused bed. Do I even have sheets on that thing? The memory hit him almost instantly: yes, he did. A week ago, he’d tossed a spare set on there after doing laundry, figuring it was better than leaving the mattress bare. He sighed with relief, and his lips curved into a small grin.
Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her effortlessly, standing with her in his arms as if she weighed nothing, getting out of his pants with a little work of his legs.
“Bucky!” she squealed, laughing as she grabbed onto his shoulders for balance.
“You said yes,” he replied with a smirk, adjusting his hold as he headed toward the bathroom. “Now, come on. We both need a good scrubbing.”
Her laughter bubbled out as her hands slid up to cup his face. “You’re full of surprises tonight, Jamie” she teased with a playful tone.
Bucky’s brow quirked, a smirk tugging at his lips even as a faint flush crept up his cheeks. Tightening his hold on her, he leaned in. “Oh, Jamie’s gonna teach you a lesson about poking bears,” he muttered, teasing.
Before she could fire back, his hand shifted, delivering a swift smack to her ass.
She gasped in surprise, jerking slightly, then bit her lip with a playful grin. “Is the big bad bear planning to plunder a honeypot tonight?” she asked with mock innocence.
Bucky’s eyes went wide for a moment, and his steps faltered. His ears turned bright red as he stammered, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “What do you read in those novels?” he muttered, avoiding her gaze as his grip on her tightened slightly.
She grinned wickedly, undeterred. “It’s not like you haven’t already-”
Before she could finish, his hand came down with another sharp slap to her ass, making her squeal. “Enough outta you,” he growled, though the pink on his ears deepened.
“Oh, you can dish it out, but you can’t take it?” she teased, still grinning as she tightened her arms around his shoulders.
He let out a low groan, shaking his head as he adjusted his grip, carrying her effortlessly into the bathroom. “You’re a menace,” he muttered.
“And you like it,” she countered, leaning in to kiss his cheek, brushing her lips against his flushed skin.
His stride slowed as he turned his head to look at her, his tired blue eyes with a softer glint now. “Yeah,” he admitted quietly, his voice low and raw. “I do.”
As they crossed into the bathroom, he leaned his forehead against hers. “You make it easy to forget everything else,” he murmured, his voice was barely audible but was weighed with a truth he rarely allowed himself to share.
Her arms tightened around him, as she pressed a kiss in the corner of his mouth. She could feel the unspoken weight behind his words, the burdens he carried in silence. But she didn’t push. She knew he would tell her when he was ready, about his struggles, his past, and the shadows that still lingered in his mind. “I’m glad Bucky, you deserve that.”
His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, tightening his arms around her as he held her close. For a moment, the world outside the bathroom, outside this cabin, ceased to exist. He dipped his head slightly, brushing her lips in a tender, unhurried kiss, filled with gratitude and unspoken promises, a glimpse of the feelings he couldn’t yet bring himself to express.
5 Times There Was Only One Bed (and the one time there were two beds) | Bucky x Reader | One Shot - 4.7k
Whether it's on a mission, a work event or a holiday, your sleeping arrangements never seem to work out as planned. It doesn't really bother you until...it does. Confronted with a night sleeping apart, you and Bucky finally talk.
Warnings: 18+ for language, suggestive situations and sexism (but not from our Bucky he would never). Also rated F for fluffy and S for snuggling.
Written for the @bucks-and-noble Valentrope event - "there was only on bed" the reigning champion of tropes!
Divider by @firefly-graphics & @reveriesources
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Fics
Your first mission with Bucky Barnes went really well, until it didn’t.
After successfully destroying an underground Hydra base you’d returned to your transport in a less than desirable state.
“Fuck, four flats.” You huffed, poking the tyre with the toe of your tactical boot.
“Fuel line’s been cut.” Bucky muttered from the front, “lucky they didn’t torch it.”
Bucky quietly rubbed a gloved hand over his face, before looking up at the admittedly stunning night sky, he seemed to study it for a moment before making a quarter turn to his left and climbing up a ridge of sandy rock. As if dazed you followed him. You could see for miles thanks to the glow of a full moon, the stars dense and glittering above you both. It was almost romantic, if you didn’t have blood on your cheek and an empty gun on your hip.
Bucky still looked like he could sweep you off your feet though, with his structured tactical vest making his broad shoulders look even wider, his wind swept hair giving him the look of a romantic hero on the front of a paperback, especially with one foot perched on the outcrop of rock above you.
“Let’s go.” He pointed towards a glow rising from beyond the horizon and you’d started walking, doing your best to keep up with his long strides. You could see the motel, how far could it really be.
As soon as you climbed down the motel vanished and the reality of your trek set in.
Around hour two Bucky slowed his pace to allow you to catch up. He didn’t speak much, just what was necessary, and sometimes a hello when he saw you around the compound. But he struck you as shy, rather than cruel or rude. He had checked on you after the mission brief two days ago to make sure you were happy with the plans and, when you were left at the drop off zone, had given you a few of his spare rounds.
You were starting to flag, your steps faltering in the dust and your fingers frozen. Without the sun the desert was so cold the tips of your ears felt like they’d fallen off. Bucky slowed too, cracking a heat pack and handing it over, swapping it for your pack.
“Thank you,” you whispered, teeth chattering.
He didn’t say anything, just gave you a tight smile and turned back towards the motel, growing closer with each step.
Three hours after you’d discovered the flat tyre, you fell through the door of the dingy motel room, exhausted, cold and starving, only to be met with the sight of one queen size bed and a single chair by the window.
“I’m gonna sleep,” you slurred, unable to manage more than zipping off your tactical vest. You fell onto your back and tried to toe off your boots but they were too tight. Your eyes slid shut and you felt the sensation of Bucky sitting on the other side of the thin mattress, making you roll towards him slightly. His weight shifted and settled, the warmth of his body behind yours comforting after everything you’d seen that evening.
He smelt nice too, despite the blood and sweat and gunpowder, he smelt like sandalwood and the desert air. It was all you could think of as you drifted into a deep sleep, how much you wanted to press your face into his back and breathe him in.
The next morning you woke to find Bucky already showered and dressed, pushing his damp hair back from his face and brushing his teeth while he called Torres for new exit plans.
Your boots and socks were off, arranged neatly by the door, a coffee steaming on the bedside table.
Despite all the changes a new team had brought, Bucky liked working with you. You were quiet too and didn’t mind when he was silent for almost a whole mission. You were efficient and skilled, but empathetic, always stopping during the fall out to ensure the team were together and protecting civilians whenever you could.
So it was no surprise to him when you offered to share the bed at the hotel. Sam and Joaquín had long since retired to their room, but you’d both stayed at the hotel bar, silently emptying a bottle of red wine while Bucky continued his 100 Books to Read Before You Die list and you scrolled through your phone, catching up on everything you’d missed during the five day - “phone’s off, and yes, I mean you Agent” - mission.
As soon as you retired to the room you knew there’d been a mistake.
“Ah, shit.” You’d dropped your bag to the floor by the door and Bucky had almost walked into your back, peering over your shoulder at the very neatly made double bed. The only bed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take the couch.” Bucky had sighed, resigned to a night of lumpy, uncomfortable sleep.
“There isn’t one.” You pushed your bag further into the room with your foot and Bucky brushed past to survey the space.
“The floor then.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor, the bed’s big enough for two, we can share.”
You’d said it with such easy grace that he’d felt almost insulted that his chivalrous offer was so easily deflected. Then you’d returned from the bathroom smelling like mint and almond oil, your loose pyjamas hanging off one shoulder and just like that, he gave in.
By the time he’d change and brushed his teeth you were already asleep, holding a pillow close to your chest with your leg well over onto his side of the bed. Carefully he moved you back to your side and slid under the cool sheet next to you.
He woke first the next morning to find you still attempting to occupy the majority of the bed, your face relaxed and mouth slightly open. Bucky indulged in a moment of quiet comfort before getting up. You wouldn’t want him staring at you, you’d be embarrassed that you were trying to cuddle him and it’d ruin the fragile bond you were forming with each mission.
By 9am you were both making fun of Joaquín’s terrible hotel bookings over pancakes and coffee.
“Why can’t we just ask for directions?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?”
“Yes?”
“Because we just crossed a border illegally, we have no papers, no passports, we’re lying low.”
“They’re hardly going to ask to see our passports, Bucky.” You sighed, hitching your bag higher on your back.
You’d been walking since 5am that morning, crossing through a forest trail to avoid borders and rendezvous with Torres in a village that should have been a few miles away so that you could evac together.
5am seemed a long time ago now that the sun was setting. You’d stopped briefly to heat up a can of beans, a “late lunch, early dinner” Bucky had called it, smiling at you over the steaming mess tin you were sharing.
The scalding heat had dissipated now though and you were tired. The memory of his hand touching yours as you ate still lingering.
“We’re not going to find him tonight, we should stop.” Bucky suggested, “I’ll find a good place to camp.”
Suddenly you were grateful that Mr Overprepared had packed a tent.
“Good idea.” You agreed, rubbing your hands together.
“Well, I will be, you didn’t bring a tent, did you?” He said, walking deeper into the woods, running his foot over the ground, looking for somewhere flat.
Your heart sank, he was right, you’d laughed at him when he’d attached it to his already full pack and he’d said you’d regret it, a teasing look in his eye. Well. You were regretting it. It had started raining a few minutes before, gentle rain drops that got heavy in each gap between the canopy. You had no doubt it’d be heavier soon though, and with the sun setting you didn’t relish the idea of being wet and cold out in the dark.
Bucky stopped and turned, lowering his pack to the floor between two large trunked trees and those twinkling eyes made butterflies take flight in the pit of your stomach. A boyish grin crossed his face as he got to work.
Ten minutes later and the tent was up, strung between the trees and extra protected with some fallen foliage.
Bucky unlaced his boots and placed them between the inner and outer tent before climbing in, when you didn’t follow he poked his head back around the flap of the tent, patting the unrolled sleeping bag next to him.
“C’mon, you really think I’d make you sleep out there?” He was almost laughing, and the sound was so welcome, so stupidly content despite your situation, you could barely stand it.
You squeezed in, using the inner fleece layer from your coat as a blanket. Bucky lifted the side of his sleeping bag.
“C’mon,” he mumbled, eyes already closed, when you hesitated he tugged you closer until you were tucked against his chest. He rearranged your coats on top of you both until you could feel your fingers again. “Warmer?”
“Yeah, thanks, Bucky.”
He didn’t respond, his breathing heavy and even, beneath his sweater you could hear the steady thump of his heart as it lulled you to sleep in his arms.
Bucky hated these stupid events, he’d only been persuaded to come because you’d done those big round puppy dog eyes and said it’d be no fun without him. Joaquín had asked too and, although Sam had joked that it’d be more fun without ‘Mr Grumpy’, Bucky knew he’d only been teasing.
But it was you that had convinced him. It was those eyes, the way your voice had gone up a little and you’d pouted in that silly way you did when Joaquín took the last doughnut at mission briefings. He couldn’t resist. And he had no idea what to do about it.
Behind him he could hear another team talking about you, how they didn't understand why you were always working with ‘that asshole Barnes’ so much.
In the anonymous dark they joked about you, about him, as if you were a reward for a guard dog. A babysitter for his more violent tendencies. Worse, disgusting, accusations about how you'd come by your place in the team. He suddenly missed his mother, she'd have washed their mouths out with soap.
He felt sick.
Bucky took a long swig from his beer and chased it with a shot of whisky, anything to stop his teeth from grinding.
They were wrong on so many counts. You were skilled and fearless, soft and fierce at all the right moments. But you didn't care about him, or Sam or Joaquín for that matter. Not in the vile, disrespectful way those men imagined. You didn’t men like them - him - messy, unpredictable, unstable. You didn’t really need anyone.
But Bucky - he took another swig, trying to stop the swirling feeling in his chest - he cared for you. He couldn't stop thinking about you. And as angry as he was at what he heard, he was equally ashamed for wishing that you did want him.
He’d been watching you dance with Joaquín and one of your other agent friends for more than an hour now. Your body swaying and rippling in time to the music, your dress ghosting over your hips in a way that made his mouth dry. It was one thing to work with you in army fatigues or go to meetings with you in your casual jeans - the stealth suit had been really pushing his patience recently so he didn't want to think about it - but he could at least keep himself under control while your skin was covered. Then you arrived wearing this dress. The neckline alone made him want to sink to his knees in front of you.
Joaquín danced away with your friend, you winked at the lieutenant and smacked his ass as he passed - you were definitely drunk.
Alone you swayed to the music, still in your own world.
“She’s so fucking drunk -”
“Absolute embarrassment -”
“Can’t believe they let her in -”
Bucky slammed his drink down on the bar top and grabbed his leather jacket, stalking across the dancefloor like a shadow, the lights skimming over him.
You were facing away from him and he couldn’t resist, his hands finding your waist so naturally, his body melting into yours, matching the slow roll of your hips so he could lean into your ear.
“I think it’s time to go,” he whisper-shouted above the pounding music.
“Bucky!” You exclaimed, completely ignoring his suggestion, “dance with me!”
You span in his hands, leaning up and into him, your hands around his neck, twisting into his hair. The little tug you gave sent pleasure shooting down his spine. God he was weak, his body moved without his say so, slipping a leg between yours and - fuck - you were grinding against him. He was lost.
The song ended, fading into the next as the lights flickered and he regained enough of his faculties to remember you were drunk, very drunk.
“C’mon, doll, let’s go, I’ll get you some water-”
“You still here, sweetheart? Don’t you think you’ve embarrassed yourself enough.”
Was he still here? Fucking asshole.
Bucky rounded on him, keeping you close with a hand around your waist.
“You boys having a good night?” You grinned, unable to hear their cruel words over the music.
You were just so - good, so kind, even when these pricks were trying to tear you down, your first instinct was to be friendly - he couldn’t stand it.
“I said -” the agent grinned, dipping down, placing his hands on his knees and levelling his face with yours, that patronising glint in his eyes, “are you still fucking here you stupid bitch?”
Bucky saw red, tucking you under his left arm, pushing you behind his back as he had so many times during missions, and smashing his right straight into the agent’s nose.
“Didn’t your Ma teach you to speak to ladies with respect?”
Blood dripped onto the dark dance floor, a circle forming as the other party goers backed away.
Bucky gave the man one last disapproving look and then his attention was solely focussed on you, leading you out past the crowd until you were outside in the freezing air. He draped his jacket around your shoulders and watched as you snuggled inside. Was he dreaming or did you inhale deeply when he did it?
“M’sorry, Buck.” You hiccupped, leaning into him, eyes half shut.
He took your weight gladly, “s’okay, you didn’t do anything wrong, it was those idiots in there.” With staggering steps you made it to the next street over and Bucky said nothing as he unlocked the door.
“Where are we?” You slurred, your ankles twisting in your heels with each step.
“My place, I thought you could sober up here while I call you a cab to get you back to your hotel.”
He settled you on the couch and tried to walk away, but there was a hand hooked in his belt loop.
“F’got you live in Neewww York,” you closed your eyes, resting your head against his hip as you continued to mumble about ‘the big apple’, he willed himself to breath deeply, he was struggling to keep his body under control.
“Yeah - what’s your hotel called?”
“You called me ‘doll’,” you giggled, your fingers closing around his belt.
“I did, sorry, it just slipped out. Your hotel?”
“Dun worry, I liked it - can I stay here? I sleep here.” You let go, only to curl up on the sofa, your dress sliding up your thighs.
“Sure.” He sighed.
Bucky scooped you up again and nudged the door to his bedroom open with his hip, the duvet was still rumpled from the night before. Another night of no sleep, at least it was because of you and not another nightmare. And now you were here, nose pressed into his chest, ready to sleep in his bed.
“Okay, I’ll be out here if you need me, g’night.”
“Stay.”
“I’ll be right outside if you need-”
“Stay.”
And it was those puppy dog eyes again, the pout, the voice, the hand on his belt.
Even though he knew you’d sleep like a log, hogging his duvet and encroaching on his space, even though he knew you’d be embarrassed in the morning, probably hungover as hell. Even though, come the morning, he was right. He still had the best nights sleep he’d ever had since he bought the place.
You hadn’t been this relaxed in a long time, you were sure if you stood up you’d simply melt into a puddle. Sun warm skin, the buzz of a few too many afternoon beers in your system and the sound of laughter as Sam, Joaquín and Bucky continued to try and catch a single fish had lulled you into a half sleep, dozing on the deck of the Paul & Darlene
“Hey, you want another beer, doll?”
Bucky’s voice drifted over to you and you cracked one eye open. He’d unbuttoned his shirt half way down his chest, the white cotton sticking to his sweaty, sunkissed skin. He hadn’t been able to drop the nickname since he'd had to rescue you at the gala. Although you'd done your best to keep yourself away. The way his eyes burned into you when he turned your way, the memory of his body imprinted into yours, his leg pressing against you, the shadow of a hardness that made your mouth water.
He'd been the perfect gentleman, of course. Had made sure you were safe and comfortable, even escorted you back to your hotel in the morning after a huge home cooked breakfast.
He was a gent. And you were an embarrassment. It ate away at you until you couldn't even look at him.
“Hmm?”
“Beer?” He asked again, holding out the bottle, the cap already popped off.
“Uh, yeah, thanks.”
He flopped down beside you on the deck, the last of the day fading beyond the horizon and leaving you bobbing in the inky abyss where the sky met the water.
“You feeling okay?” He took a swig and you watched the condensation on the bottle trickle over his fingers.
“Oh, yeah, fine.”
“You look dazed, that's all, don't want you getting sunstroke on us.”
Bucky looked genuinely concerned and you figured, from the sudden sick feeling inside, that maybe your heart had skipped a few beats or flipped over or something.
“Uh -” Fuck, did he have to leave his shirt open like that? He asked a question, what was it?
“Are you okay?” He used the back of his right hand and placed it against your forehead, “you feel really hot. Maybe you do have sun stroke.”
“I’m fine, honestly.” You shrugged him off, but went looking for a bottle of water anyway.
As the boat made its way back to the dock you watched the lights of Sarah’s house flicker on in the distance. Sam had invited the three of you to stay, taking up all of Sarah’s space and the room on the boat, while her and the boys went into the city for the night. It was a generous offer, one that you couldn’t say no to after months of hard work without a break.
In the pitch dark you all stumbled back up the driveway, only to find Sarah on the porch.
“Sarah -” Sam jogged to reach her first, concern written on his brow.
“I’m alright, Sam, don’t fuss. It’s just Cass, ate too many beignets and threw up so I thought we should come home. He’s upstairs with AJ. Sorry we messed up your plans.”
Bucky took the suitcase from her hands, “it’s your home Sarah, you haven’t messed up anything.”
She threw an arm around his shoulders and hugged him sideways, a familiar gesture you’d seen her make before, but for some reason your tummy twisted, jealousy stirring.
“Means we’ll need some rooms back though, I know I said you could all stay but-”
A chorus of voices filled the air, refusing to let Sarah apologise, before you started to get organised.
“Well Cass needs his own bed, that’s a given.” You said, worried that the young boy might be ill as well as over excited about his food.
“Of course,” Joaquín agreed. “Sarah, you’re obviously taking your room too. We wouldn’t ask you to give that up. I’ll go on the couch in the sitting room.” He smiled.
You looked between your other two colleagues, but Bucky spoke first.
“Well if Torres’ taking the couch I’m not going to argue, I’d rather be in a bed even if it is on a boat.” He ruffled Joaquín’s hair affectionately and the younger man shoved at him.
Sam looked at you, “you can take my bed, if you want, I can change the sheets -”
“I’ll sleep on other sofa -”
“You’ll share with me, right doll?”
The three of you spoke at once, and Sarah raised her eyebrows then her hands before opening the front door, “I’ll be in bed, you kids figure this out yourself.”
“Bucky -” Sam started.
“Sam - we’ve shared before,” there was a glimmer of hope that glowed inside of you when Bucky stepped closer, his shirt fluttering open again in the breeze, revealing his toned chest and that dusting of dark hair, creeping under the buckle of his jeans. “Besides, wouldn’t be the first time you’ve made us share, would it?” Bucky joked, nudging Sam as they went to collect more blankets and bedding, “what about that hotel-”
His voice faded until all you could hear were the crickets in the distance, you’d forgotten about Joaquín until he walked past, turning backwards at the last moment so he could see you again, “if you don’t want to share with Barnes…” he let the offer hang in the air and you were torn.
Really, you should protest and ask for your own space. But then you’d missed the sound of his steady breathing beside you, the weight and warmth of him when he turned over into your space. In fact you’d missed him completely, even if you’d been avoiding him on purpose.
Secretly you hoped the bedroom on the boat would be cooler now the sun had gone down, perhaps he’d hold you like he did while you were camping.
Sam let you back onto the boat, making sure you had enough blankets for two distinct sleeping arrangements if you wanted.
Bucky slid into the cool cotton sheets in only his boxers and, shyly, you followed. Expecting to sleep alone you’d packed shorts and a vest, revealing more than you really wanted to considering he clearly didn’t return your interest.
Bucky kept politely to his side of the bed, his arms awkwardly stiff at his side when he turned away from you. Unable to stop yourself you turned too, watching the strong line of his back relax as his breathing evened out.
The boat bobbed gently, lulling you to sleep. You were vaguely aware of a strong arm tugging you closer, the smell of Bucky’s shampoo and sun cream and the weight of a bed rising to meet you.
Everything went perfectly, again, until it didn’t.
Intelligence? Secured. Exit? Executed to perfection. Adrenaline fueled burger stop where Bucky wiped a drop of sauce from your lips exactly as you planned? Complete. Motel booking? Perfect?
You and Bucky stared at the two motel beds.
In the entire time you’d been working together you’d never really managed it. There were either no rooms, the room was wrong or there was no room at all, just whatever you could find. And now there were two beds and you felt sick and your head hurt and after everything you’d seen and done today the last thing you wanted to do was sleep alone.
“Doll?” Bucky placed a hand on the small of your back and reality came screeching to a halt around you.
“Sorry, Buck, I must be really tired, I’m going to shower and get in bed. Do you mind if I go first?” You were already half to the bathroom, the zip down on your tac suit, were you imagining Bucky’s eyes dropping down to where your skin was revealed?
“Of course, whatever you need, I’ll just be…here,”
After a perfunctory shower consisting of a dribble of hot water that quickly turned into a freezing cold torrent, you returned to the shared room.
Bucky hurried past, his body brushing against yours in the doorway, firm and muscular, yet you knew that being held by him was soft and warm. You tried not to feel too sad that there’d be no excuse for getting close to him again for the rest of your trip.
By the time he was finished you were tucked into bed, trying to read the paperback you’d found in the draw because the television signal was terrible.
He stood in the window, a shadow against the light filtering in through the thin material of the curtains, ruffling his wet hair with a towel, his sweatpants so at odds with the man who’d been by your side just a few hours before. This was a rare sight, one you were privileged to see.
Bucky tossed the towel onto the chair by the door and then sat on the end of the other bed, watching you read from the corner of his eye. You knew because the last three paragraphs had become a blur of words, your focus solely on Bucky.
“Maybe we should go to sleep, we’ve got a long drive tomorrow.”
“You’re right.”
You both slid down into bed, separately, and you’d never felt so alone.
In the darkness you could see the shape of him, facing the door with his hand tucked under his pillow, and somehow the darkness made you braver.
“Would it be weird if I said I missed you?” You whispered.
Bucky rolled over, but put his hand back under his pillow, no doubt he had something hidden under there, he usually did.
“I miss you too.”
You shuffled back, letting the sheets fall further down the bed, “I know you have your own space over there and you probably don’t want to be all cramped up with me, but if you wanted to share still -”
Bucky was out of his bed before you could finish, slipping under the sheets. He’d taken off his sweatpants before getting into bed, his legs bed warm against your own and you bit your lip, trying to focus on his face and not on his almost naked body just inches away.
“Hi.”
“Hi, doll.”
“You don’t have to keep calling me that.”
“What if I want to?”
He was so close, his breath minty when it ghosted over your lips, his nose touching yours, his long eyelashes making his crystal eyes look brighter.
“What if I missed you being in my bed? What if I always want to share with you?” He reached his hand out, cupping your cheek.
“You do?”
And then his lips were on yours, so soft, his tongue slipping past yours as you gasped. One cool metal hand and one callused, drawing you closer, a leg between your thighs, your bodies rolling together and - “oh, Bucky.” You sighed into his mouth, letting him tug you into him.
“I - I want that too -” you squeezed out between kisses, “I wanna always - always - be in your bed - I - I always hoped we had too.”
“You did?” He pulled back, stroking a thumb down your cheek and over your kiss bitten lips.
“Uh huh, I did,”
“You been sabotaging us this whole time, baby?” He laughed, his eyes sparkling.
“No,” you laughed too, turning your head to kiss the pad of his thumb, “maybe I should’ve though.”
“Maybe,” his hand left your face to cup the back of your neck, drawing you down for another languid kiss.
“How long?”
“How long, what?”
“How long have you wanted -” his question trailed off into another series of featherlight kisses.
“Since, ugh - Utah?” You offered shyly, embarrassed to admit that you’d been head over heels from the start.
With a groan he rolled you over, slipping his body between your open legs, his hips settling just right against your own. “Fuck,” he dropped his forehead to yours, “we could’ve been doing this the whole time.” He admitted, lifting his head to smile down at you.
“Well then I guess we have some making up to do,” you linked your hands behind his head, tangling your fingers in his hair.
“I guess we do, doll.”
I decided to make a separate post for this AU since I'll keep writing about them🤭
1. Roots and Branches (Fluff. Smut.)
Summary: Bucky has built a quiet life in the woods, content to keep the world at arm's length. But when a new neighbor moves to town, her presence ignites emotions he’s hesitant to face.
2. Heartwood (Fluff. Smut.)
Summary: After Sam’s party, Bucky begins to navigate uncharted territory as he works to balance his growing feelings and lingering insecurities in his blooming relationship.
3. Threads and Timber (Fluff. Smut.)
Summary: Bucky grapples with a questionable Christmas gift.
4. The Recipe for Us (Fluff. Smut.)
Summary: Bucky sets out to surprise his girlfriend with a simple yet meaningful gesture, but quickly learns that some things are easier said than done.
5. A Cabin for Two (Fluff. Smut)
Summary: Desperate for a break from the constant interruptions of their daily lives, Bucky plans a getaway to a secluded cabin deep in the woods. What begins as a peaceful escape soon tests their patience, sparks intimacy, and reveals the strength of their connection.
6. City Lights, Mountain Hearts (Fluff. Slight Angst. Smut)
Summary: Stuck in the city for Valentine’s week, Bucky grapples with old wounds, self-doubt, and the urge to escape. Luckily, even if he doesn’t know how to express it, he is not alone.
r, 25, a collection of fics I enjoyed - 18+ I follow from @spookysaturn
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