Laughed Way Too Hard

this is literally the best

If you ever think I’m a good role model, just know this: I took a poison ivy plant and rubbed it all over this girl’s car that I hated in high school. Horrifically that same day, she was carpooling 3 other girls that I didn’t like to the mall. The next day they came in covered in rashes and had to give the pe teacher a note because it had spread in unsavory places.

And so did 3 of the football players.

I have seen things no other man will see

Seductive Pepe, one of the rarest of Pepe’s to exist. Can seduce any species in any place, hence why it’s background changes colour to fit on your blog.

FUCKING HELL THAT IS TERRIFYING

when you see your friend at lunch

Holy fucking shit

Is it still me that makes you sweat

Damn

Today, I fucked up... by asking a kid why she wasn’t eating dinner

This just happened. I am visiting my parents and my 7 year old niece is her. Her friend Jasmine, also 7, came over to play and stayed for dinner. We made spaghetti and sat to eat. Jasmine had been really quiet and was picking at her food. I asked her if she liked spaghetti, or if she’d like something else. She said yes, she likes spaghetti. I asked if she just didn’t like this spaghetti. Was it the noodles? The sauce? The meat? She just said she didn’t like it. I asked if her mom makes spaghetti. She said yes, and I asked if she just likes the way her mom makes it. She got really quiet, and I turn to see my dad all red faced and shaking his head no.

Jasmine’s mother died a couple of months ago unexpectedly.

by blushing_brunhilda

Tumblr Code.

What

unfollowryanross:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

Dying

Hehehehe..... Hehe.... Nope nope nope.... Noooooooooooooooononononono. Nopenopenopenopenopenopenope

At first glance it looks like the fields have been blanketed with snow but this ghostly white landscape in Australia is the work of millions of spiders.

As flood waters raced past the town of Wagga Wagga, in New South Wales, the spiders were forced to clamber up trees and bushes, spinning their webs as they climbed. (Source)