Spamton-g-spamington - I Can Send Email

has anyone made this joke yet

HE'S HAD ENOUGH

I said I was gonna do it

Papyrus trips on his way down the stairs and very visibly shatters his ulna in three places. It’s excruciating, but he’s dead silent.

He slowly stands up, walks past a horrified Sans, who was dozing on the couch, roots in his pockets with his good hand, then carefully places a random assortment of bills into the jar.

He takes a deep breath.

“d-dude, we gotta get a doctor–”

“FUCKING PISSING SHITTING CUNTING FUCK LORD ALMIGHTY DOES THIS HURT GOODNESS FUCKING GRACIOUS ME I’VE GONE AND SNAPPED MYSELF IN HALF LIKE A TWIZZLER LEFT OUT IN THE SUN BOY OH BOY HAVE I REALLY FUCKING DONE IT THIS TIME WOWIE THIS IS QUITE THE INJURY–”

“i-i’m callin’ someone–”

“THAT’S VERY MUCH APPRECIATED THANK YOU SANS IF IT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE CAN YOU PLEASE PUT SOME MORE OF MY MONEY IN THE SWEAR JAR BECAUSE WE’RE BOTH GOING TO BE ABLE TO BUY BOATS AT THE END OF THIS ONE GOOD FUCKING GRAVY–”

And yes, that IS my actual Asgore voice narrating.

Imagine you get possessed and all it makes you do is be nice and kinda dorky. Imagine.

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXYYYYYYYYYY ILYSMMMMM

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE uwu ily

I WAS GONNA COMPLETE THIS BUT I RAN OUT OF TIME, BUT HERE’S MY CONTRIBUTION!! Papyrus is such a sweet boy, but I will stand up to people infantilizing him ANYDAY! HAPPY LETPAPYRUSSAYFUCKDAY!!

the queen fell for toriel bc all toriel’s searches are like “dear google.com, what is the best food for a growing human child? thank you, toriel” and queen’s like Finally Someone Treats Me With Respect

In case of emergency, please do not break my heart.

she only wants me for my highly specialized beak