The Sun Mourns In Vain For The White-throated Rail: A Comic About Disability And The Unwanted Able-bodied

i think everyone is lying how does it not hurt you to walk anywhere. i saw a website today describe a "short period of standing" as 30 minutes. I WOULD EXPLODE. EVERYONE IS LYING.

oh boy i wish someone would notice my cries for help! [someone actually notices] noooo i'm fine don't worry about me

is this common with people with adhd or anyone struggling with any sort of mental stuff, like when you're finally in a good mood. And by that it could be how you start to enjoy reading, painting or anything at all again. Or it can also be how you're not struggling too much with executive function. Basically brain feels pretty good. But since you feel good as if you have no problems at all.. do you just.. forget everything completely about all of your struggles as if none of that ever happened or exist at all. like if you read your own shits about YOUR OWN struggles a question pops out ' did I just made shit up to sound relatable cause I can't fucking remember ever feeling that way- ' even though you're not the sort of person who would do that, and at the same time you struggle to understand the things you wrote down about your feelings cause you simply forgor

I'm asking cause I'm starting therapy and im in a good mood, i can't remember shit. i dont want therapist to think im a liar,making a big deal out of nothing :(

a reminder of how executive dysfunction can also look like . You are NOT lazy

brain : Hey the new season of my favorite show is out!!! I've been waiting for so long I'm excited to see it!!

Executive dysfunction : no. impossible. no fucking way. too difficult. unattainable. blocked.

brain : but I want to see it, I want to do it .. badly :(

Executive dysfunction : fuck no. you will be experiencing new emotions, meaning that it will have to be processed. that's too difficult and very exhausting

brain : alright lets watch old shows then

Executive dysfunction : that will be a waste of time, you could've just watch new things you stupid fuck.

brain : ..u right .. but what else can I do?

Executive dysfunction : i have preaperd for you exactly two options. You can either wait for no reason orrr, rot in bed and doom scroll for hours while you feel absolutely shit with yourself from wasting all this precious time.. ill let you chill in distress, mkay? :3 btw have you noticed the feeling, that looming fear and utter discomfort that has been gnawing at your insides like youre being chased by something? Correct, there's nothing you can do about it.

brain : so you're just gonna let me get stuck?

Executive dysfunction : absolutely! :)

brain : Is there really nothing i do something about it?

Executive dysfunction : well.. You can always try.. I'll just never gonna let you do anything else you want or need :)

brain : ... but that wont do.. how abou-

Executive dysfunction : bitch no. you cant

Okay so I’m tired and bitchy and I’ve had a rough morning, and because of that I’m probably about to drop an unpopular opinion here, but I really dont care.

Narcissist is starting to become the new sociopath/psychopath/psycho, and I am really, really concerned with where this is heading.

It’s the exact same thing I’ve been seeing for years with my own diagnosis. You say you’re a sociopath, and immediately you’re now an asshole. I’ve had people actually ask me if I have ever hurt someone/wanted to hurt someone because I’m a sociopath, and I’ve had to explain over and over again that no, that’s not what that means, it just means empathy is not something that I can experience like everyone else. I can still be compassionate, I can still be a kind person, I can have no desire to hurt anyone ever, but I still get treated like a ticking time bomb. Even though my disorder actually helps me in a job that saves lives (I work in tissue donation, so not feeling empathy makes handling donor tissue from a 15 year old a lot easier), I still get asked by people at that same job about my “secret dark side” and if I ever did/do things like torture animals.

The same thing is happening to narcissists. You say you’re a narcissist, and now suddenly you’re an abuser. You want to paint someone as a bad person? Call them a narcissist, then everyone will understand how mean and evil they are. I am so sick and tired of seeing tiktoks, tweets, and Tumblr posts going on and on about how horrible narcissists are and how much people hate them. As if narcissists aren’t people! As if narcissists aren’t people experiencing a personality disorder! Y'all are all about “neurodivergent/mental illness solidarity uwu” until you bring in the “undesirable” mental illnesses and personality disorders, and then suddenly it’s “All x people are mean and evil and abusive blah blah blah they can’t get better/better themselves blah blah blah here’s how to argue with them except I’m not going to actually talk about that I’m actually going to just say how horrible they are and how they’re bad people blah blah blah” and it’s like shut up! Shut the fuck up! Those are people! Those are real people with real feelings and you’re just out here saying they’re inherently bad, and for what? For likes? For clout? Do you have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with a diagnosis like that when your view on it is so incredibly skewed, when you think you’re being assigned the Bad Person Disease™️ after you’ve tried so hard to be a kind person and uplift those around you? And now you’re left thinking it was all for nothing, because now you can never be a good person no matter how hard you try because you have Bad Person Disease? Do you have literally any idea how damaging that is, and how much that hurts? But hey, ableism isn’t ableism when it’s against the “bad” people, right?

Anyway, if you’re a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist, have bpd, are bipolar in the “wrong” way, are schizophrenic or psychotic, are the “wrong” type of autistic, or anything else, I see you and you’re doing amazing. Your diagnosis doesn’t dictate who you are and, even though some things are harder for us than they are for others, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

the struggle with having chronic pain when you do an activity and your body is going through hellish pain but you can't say anything because someone might just gonna brush it off with " you don't exercise enough " bullshit.

can there be ppl with adhd who don’t hyperfixate? i’m diagnosed but i can’t tell if it’s hyperfixation or if i’m just telling myself it is idk agsgshsh

Sent 30th July~

Every brain is different, and in the same way, every hyperfixation is. For one person, they can be very strong and take over all thought, and for others they can be weaker. Because ADHD is an inability to regulate attention, I think everyone does experience some sort of hyperfixation—we lack dopamine, so our brain clings to one thing we find that provides us with that dopamine.

But that doesn’t mean it has to be incredibly strong—it can be one interest that you feel especially drawn to for a period of more than a day. If there’s a book or show that you love and feel like you just have to keep reading/watching it because it’s so good, that can be a hyperfixation! You don’t have to be completely obsessed, just… not wanting stop, and wanting to carry on from where you left off when you have free time.