My Body Won't Hold Me There's Too Much Of Me For One, I'm More Than Just A Face Or Skin Changing, Never

A girl I am dating is reading my palm Tracing her finger Over my life line She furrows her brow

"Do you like evergreen trees?" she asks She doesn't look up and I nod "But you are deciduous," she meets my eyes

I shrug, pulling my hand back But she holds my wrist Firmly and keeps tracing I'm staring at her curiously

"You are nineteen?" it's currently January I nod again, February on the horizon "You will be nineteen for a very long time"

I don't like her reading I don't like her mysticism I break up with her later Then I meet you And I am nineteen for the rest of my life

Today is a gray day, endlessly cloudy One blanket across the sky The world is smaller now, with that barrier The haze shrouding the sun, the blue The earth is contained under the veil

Under the darkness of the clouds The sun does not beg for engagement We are pardoned of participation A nebula of clouds thrown over earth They say rest, you are allowed to

Ice covered ponds do not shimmer California poppies sleep in Beaches are spared their trodden sands Paint the sky gray and the world sighs Exhale, the day is small and so are we

The house spider in my window Is resting for the winter It is her second year here She might not make it to spring She is thin and fragile now I will watch to see if she revives From her gentle hibernation What an impact she has had on me No creature is undeserving of love And I have had so much to give

You are candlelight My yellow rose Every song I'll ever compose We are elegance And flowing words The freedom between Mated birds We've been thunder Pouring rain The healing after Endless pain I'm a soft brush With eternity Always painting You and me

What are the laws of nature? Can you tell me? I can only think of one That energy cannot be created Or destroyed That it can only reconstruct One form into another

So what makes a flower bloom? Did I give the blossom My energy? I assume it comes from somewhere Within the soil, the stem But let me believe I can transform Into a beautiful thing too

Even when you cannot taste Your favorite kind of tea It is still a soothing friend Tending to you in sickness Wrapping you up in its arms

Did you lay me down Or let me go? From fear or mercy I don't know And you are with me Even so

I feel you in rooms That feel like home See you on streets I drive alone Your serenity Inside my bones

Did you send a song Over a breeze? I can hear your Peaceful melody And I sing with you In harmony

This is not poetry It's just me Adding line breaks To a thought

Two kayakers come To a fork in a river Each one takes a side Each one nods to the other

Neither knows how The other is doing Paddle, paddle, drift... Each one wonders a little

One day we will wake up And we'll be older One will suddenly wake up Wondering why she feels colder One of us won't wake up at all A fallen soldier One day there will just be one of us A somber loner One day the second will wake up In a place the first will hold her One day we won't wake up We won't get older