Once I Believed That Everything And Everyone Drawn By Me Would Dissapear From My Life. But I Am Still

Li Lun, a villain I feel for (Pt. 3/4)

While no one remembers of Li Lun anymore, he is still here. His body is destroyed but he can possess other people, so he secretly possesses a little traitor from the main heroes’ camp. Little Traitor is ½ wood, so his body suits LL well (LL is a sophora, after all).

He dramatically reveals himself as Li Lun to the main heroes and says that he can destroy Little Traitor’s soul wholly and make this body his forever, but he doesn’t do it. If we think of it not as of another script flaw, he needs this body not to live happily ever after in his new healthy shell far far away from any dull exes, but to talk to ZYZ!

Poor Ao Ying, I like her, too! She is LL's mirror: death is the price of loyalty and not having your own private life.

He is hurt and angry, so he vents his anger on ZYZ’s new boyfriend (His behavior here is realistic!). The fight looks very raw and feral, and you can see LL’s feelings seeping through it.

He doesn’t really need to keep ZYZ’s boyfriend alive. You may say that ZYZ’s boyfriend is the only one who can kill ZYZ with his magical sword, and LL wants ZYZ dead, but he obviously doesn’t: he breaks the magical sword of ZYZ’s boyfriend by himself and doesn’t want it to be restored, in order to not to be expelled from Little Traitor’s body. What is the best way to leave that sword not restored ever again? Yeah, right, to kill its owner! LL has an opportunity, a lot of them, during this fight, but he wants to humiliate ZYZ’s boyfriend, not to kill him.

It’s very important for LL that other people can see his true self, so he lends Truth Eye to almost everyone except for ZYZ. Because ZYZ promised LL to see his heart with his own heart.

But the triumph of LL’s pettiness is short: the main heroes gather together to tell LL that he is stupid because he helped the killer of those dungeon demons with his own hands.

LL goes to dungeons to kill Big Bad in Mask, but the guy says that LL’s current body is poisoned and he will die if Big Bad in Mask dies. How Little Traitor’s body’s death relates to Big Bad in Mask’s death I don’t understand even now. But LL leaves his attempts to kill Big Bad in Mask, which is strange, and focuses fully on attempts to leave Little Traitor’s body for himself, although it’s dying from poison and of no much use anymore. OK, the main heroes don’t give a flying heck about Big Bad in Mask, his zombies and demon tortures, but LL? (But at least he tried to kill him, unlike ZYZ, who wholeheartedly didn’t give a damn).

Why wouldn’t he possess any other healthy body that could contain his fierce spirit? Maybe possessing this very boy is his twisted attempt to be a part of ZYZ’s life as far as he doesn’t understand what’s the difference between him and new ZYZ’s friends and why can’t he be a part of ZYZ’s life anymore. It’s pathetic, yet still understandable.

He tries to put the crimp into the main heroes’ attempts to restore the sword because he doesn’t want to lose Little Traitor’s body and die, but, at the same time, he actually helps ZYZ’s boyfriend to stay alive without the sword (there was so many variants whose inner core could be given to ZYZ's boyfriend for that...).

And then this dialog happens:

I was in such a GREAT PAIN. The worse of their conversations ever. ZYZ tells the person who was his boyfriend and was killed by him twice that he will kill him for the third time to save people he knows a couple of millenias less than him. And when LL brings on for the last time the topic of what’s the difference between him and them, ZYZ says that he is the only reason of everything what happened to him. It’s such a hypocrisy! Yes, LL should leave the body that isn’t his, it’s right thing to do, but ZYZ knows the way how to keep him alive if he does it! Yet he doesn’t say a word about it. Moreover, he is the main reason why LL doesn’t have his own body anymore. Yet he prefers to say something like “only your voluntary death can atone your sins, anyone’s life is more precious that yours”, which hurts af considering their previous relationship and the way ZYZ cut LL out of his life.

Meanwhile, the current ZYZ’s boyfriend, who used to be a demon hunter and killed demons, turns himself into one.

His ancestor was an ancient water dragon demon, so when his demon blood takes over him, he goes to sleep onto the bottom of the pool in his residence.

Now, as ZYZ's boyfriend became a demon, people who praised him when he was a demon hunter start hating him for his new race. LL comes to him after him being humiliated by humans he used to protect and asks him his question for the last time.

And this conversation is strange af. LL asks if ZYZ’s boyfriend feels anger because he was unfairly accused of crimes and beaten just because he is of other species now (read as: does he feel like LL felt when that dungeon situation happened), and ZYZ’s boyfriend answers that he chooses not to hold a grudge against humans, and his superior attitude will destroy such an evil and hopeless thing as LL is. And throws humiliated LL into the puddle of mud.

It supposes to be a turning point after which LL understands all his wrongs and moves towards his redemption-through-death arch, but in fact it doesn’t work! When I saw it for the first time, I had a gut feeling that something is wrong here, somethings doesn’t work for me. Then I rewatched it to write this post and finally found out what is exactly wrong.

Originally, I thought that it doesn’t work because GJM takes two topics for redemption development and fails to work with them as far as they are intertwined and interfere with each other, but now I see that there is no redemption development topics at all! Let me explain.

Redemption should be driven not by external circumstances, but by inner processes inside a character with the help of external circumstances. For example, if the main problem of LL’s character were his prejudice against humans, his redemption arch could start like this: LL meets a human who is honest and treats demons nice, maybe does something selfless for LL (does all this stuff that LL thought impossible for humans); LL sees it, proceeds it inside himself and changes his mind. Or, if the main problem of LL were his obsession with ZYZ… Oh, it’s harder than the previous one. LL could release his obsession with ZYZ if ZYZ had an understandable reason why he ghosted LL (he, obviously, hasn’t) and they would talk about this reason in a proper way. Or if there were a reason why he is so obsessed with ZYZ, and some another person would show him that it’s possible to cover his needs without ZYZ (but it’s not a topic of a villain character development in a xianxia drama at all, as far as it’s used for the most part in modern romantic stories).

But here LL looks like an abuser’s wife: he literally asks new ZYZ’s boyfriend why ZYZ dumped him, and ZYZ’s boyfriend answers that LL was a bad wife and didn’t behave as ZYZ pleased. Does LL understand what exactly was wrong with his attitude towards humans? No, not at all. The only thing he understands now is that he needs to behave as ZYZ pleases if he wants his boyfriend back. He didn’t change his believes after this conversation. He didn’t overcome his obsession neither (otherwise, why would this absolutely stupid conversation work on him?). Because you can’t bring someone towards redemption by constantly humiliating him and gaslighting him into believing that he is all alone. He isn’t! He has got all the demons of Great Wilderness, he has got Ao Ying, he has got plenty of demons who share his believes. It’s just that he unhealthy obsessed with a guy who doesn’t care about him and can’t see any other good things around him.

Throughout all this scene I expected there to be some gesture of empathy from ZYZ’s boyfriend (because see the first redemption scheme I described), but it never happened. Li Lun also waits for something like that, as we can see in this scene with Ao Ying and an umbrella. The main heroes constantly talk about importance of patience and kindness towards those who don’t deserve it but never show it to LL with their own example.

LL is upset that this gesture of kindness (an umbrella) isn't from any of ZYZ’s squad, and here I feel sad for Ao Ying, too, because she is obsessed with serving LL the same way LL is obsessed with ZYZ, and an obsessed person has no value in the eyes of the object of their obsession. Just like in real life. Sad but true.

The only thing that changes in LL’s character during the story is his stage of acceptance.

Here is Part 1 Here is Part 2 Here is Part 4

This is one of my favourite moments where I adore the voice actor who has dubbed Wang Hedi. I'm in love with iconic Qingcang's "Leeeeet's gooooo"! I can do nothing with myself, just rewatch this scene like hundred times to hear it once more. The second favourite thing of mine is "Dooon't cryyyy" in episode with burnt flower soup.

Happy B'day, Felix!

Tag navigation in this blog

Longreads, meta-analyses, recaps, lists: #SDaboutLBFAD - about c-drama "Love Between Fairy and Devil" #SDaboutMJTY - about c-drama "My Journey to You" #SDaboutFoF - about c-drama "Fangs of Fortune" #SDabout100dmp - about k-drama "100 Days My Prince" #SDaboutMM - about c-drama "Moonlight Mystique" #SDabouttropes - about tropes, favorite types of characters etc. #SDaboutFilms - about Western (non-Asian) movies and series Impressions of stuff: #SDaboutSpirealm - about c-drama "The Spirealm" #SDaboutBlossom - about c-drama "Blossom" #SDaboutTTEOTM - about c-drama "Till the End of the Moon" #SDaboutDerailment - about с-drama "Derailment" #SDaboutONHCT - about tw-drama "Oh no! Here comes trouble" #SDaboutSL - about c-drama "The Legend of Shen Li" #SDaboutDark - about German Netflix series "Dark" #SDaboutSW - about "Star Wars" Reblogs and picspam: #SDaboutpicspam - picspam, collected by me for no fandom topic #SDaboutSKZ - about Stray Kids K-pop band (mostly Lee Felix) #SDaboutMLC - about c-drama "Mysterious Lotus Casebook" #SDaboutMDZS - about c-drama "the Untamed"

My art and handmade stuff: #SDaboutstuff - my handmade, arts and poems #SDaboutTGCF - about "Heaven Official's Blessing" #SDaboutTolkien - about J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Silmarillion"

Thoughts on Blossom

Well… It was good. Was it well-made? Yes, absolutely. Did it meet my expectations? No, not at all. The screenwriting was thoughtfully made, not overly fairytail-ish as it usually is in c-dramas. And even not the main heroine was the most Mary Sue among three transmigrators into the past, which is nice. But at the other hand, this drama is mostly about gen intrigues, not about romance, despite description.

"I'm just a dying man who gave his loyalty to unworthy people." "Yes, we both are."

I always complain about a love interest being only a function in a romantic story, not really a character with their own desires and life, and Blossom shows very well that if both heroes of the romantic story ARE characters with their own plot arch, it is not a romantic story anymore. I was starving for love plot during Blossom, because a gen plot overshadowed any love so hard that I decided in the end not to wait for something romantic anymore and to watch it as gen.

Another thing is that healthy relationship is boring. There was a guy who was wronged and forced to choose a dark path of no return, then a girl said “I can fix him” and, because he was a normal guy in difficult circumstances, she indeed fixed him. And her friend tried the same, but her guy was unfixable, so she killed him as soon as she understood her attempts were in vain. So healthy! No emotional swings! It’s not what I watch c-dramas for.

I was glad to watch a good in terms of plot drama, but I doubt I'll add it to my “favorites” list.

Derailment thoughts

The first 2/3 of Derailment were marvelous. I truly enjoyed the part when Qi Lian couldn`t understand why Jiang Xiaoyuan treated him like a stranger and attempted to be just friends with her:

And the next coil of a spiral, when he learned she was a transmigrator who possessed the body of his teenage sweetheart. It`s a very interesting question: who are we if we are stripped of our memories? Are we still the same person or another one? What if your lover is gone and replaced by other personality, but this other personality has the same appearance, temper, habits and gestures? Could you fall in love with this new personality again as you previously did? This topic started to unfold when Qi Lian came the whole path back from being scary and mean to her to mutual pining, but never was unfolded till the final point, because screenwriters went to other topics (and came to nothing at the end).

The last point I liked here was a drama inside a drama about their relationships at school. There is my second favorite trope "us vs the world" so I naturally enjoyed it and would like to watch the whole drama about it (but obligatorily with Lin Yi as a main):

Do you think I don't know what's on your mind?

The end of drama was ill-conceived though, so I can`t say that I like it as a whole thing.

“New moon, lay your mercy on me tonight...” (с) Swallow the Sun I wanted to draw this a long time. The font is designed by Taras Makar. 

BROTHER...WAKE UP...

E23 : My Journey to You | 云之羽 (2023) dir.Edward Guo

Fun facts about MJTY

The surnames of those who are in the Back Hill build together an idiom 风花雪月, «four opposites of love». Although hieroglyph 锋 in word "Wufeng" is different from one in this idiom (​风), they are homophones that equally sound fēng (and as we all remember, Wufeng is the mastermind of the last three saber techniques out of twelve used by the Back Hill, sooooo...🐱‍👤).

2. The names of Wufeng ranks build together an idiom 魑魅魍魉, «demons and monsters of the Martial World». These hieroglyphs actually mean three types of mythological Chinese monsters, not four: chī, mèi, and wǎngliǎng. In the last word a syllable wǎng (魍) sounds like wáng (王), which means "prince", so there are four princes of cardinal directions in Wufeng. The hieroglyph 魉 (liǎng) includes the phonetic key 两 (liǎng) as one of its elements, which means "a pair". And, as we know, Wufeng has got two bosses of the highest rank 🐱‍👤.

3. The names of those who live in the Front Hill are 宫商角徵羽, the pre-Tang dynasty names of tones in the pentatonic musical scale. The pentatonic scale is famous among musicians as something good for improvisation because all of these tones sound harmonically in any combination. Also, in the Confucian tradition these five tones were credited with a magical effect on society, at which gōng corresponded to the emperor, shāng - to ministers, jué - to the people, zhǐ - to affairs, and yǔ to material resources.

Maybe it all supposed to have a deep meaning and to symbolize something. Maybe it didn`t. Anyway, there are just fun facts.

Swooning over a secondary character (again), Pt. 1/3

This is Moo-yeon, the best assassin of the wicked vice-prime minister Kim Cha-eon, the most powerful man in Joseon. He is VERY good at archery.

And not really good at anything else.

His servitude for Kim Cha-eon has a very heartbreaking background, though. Originally he was of a noble bloodline and was named Yoon Seok-ha. He and his younger sister Yoon Yi-seo were children of an official. But once there was a take-over and their father was accused of treason felony. The official and the whole his family were sentenced to be executed. The children managed to escape, but they were being cruelly hunted down as animals.

In the end Seok-ha hid his sister and led the chase away from her. Tired, scared and desperate, he sneaked into the residence of the murderer of his father, Kim Cha-eon, and tried to threaten him, promising he would kill off Kim Cha-eon's daughter, Kim So-hye, if that evil guy would continue to hunt down Seok-ha's sister.

Spoiler: there was a love from the first blade pressed to one's throat. Mmmmm, delicious. And no, I`m not about Seok-ha and a vise-prime minister 😄 Naturally, Seok-ha failed because Kim Cha-eon had no heart and his daughter was not really of value for him, so there's nothing left to do for Seok-ha but to beg for death for himself and for mercy for his sister. But Kim Cha-eon had other plans for this stupidly brave boy. He made a deal with the boy and forced him to do everything Kim Cha-eon wanted him to do in trade for sister‘s life and freedom.

So here he is, professionally doing disgusting and honourless stuff for the murderer of his father. Here is Part 2 Here is Part 3