When Donna Tartt In The Secret History Said “even More Terrible, As We Grow Older, To Learn That No

[AFTER REVEALING VERY TELLING PERSONAL INFO] But don’t read into that. let’s move along

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

“There’s a legend about a Chinese painter who was asked by the emperor to paint a landscape so pristine that the emperor can enter it. He didn’t do a good job, so the emperor was preparing to assassinate him. But because it was his painting, legend goes, he stepped inside and vanished, saving himself. I always loved that little allegory as an artist. Even when it is not enough for others, if it is enough for you, you can live inside it.”

— Ocean Vuong, from an interview with Zoë Hitzig in Prac Crit (via indeskidgepoetry (via hedgehog-moss)

i hate paying the ultimate price

This season of arcane is about switching roles.

It's about growing up to the be the thing you hate, the thing you feared, the thing you worshipped, the thing that would save you, and it's about the roles of people being repeated, reversed, flipped, and it is fascinating.

The most obvious one is Vi, who finds herself in a situation where the choice she makes - and it doesn't feel like much of a choice, but remember there is always a choice - is to become an inforcer. Even if it's only temporary, even if it's only to track down Jinx, she does it. She puts on the uniform and the badge and raids the arcade hideout, just like the inforcers did when she was younger, and this time Jinx has no one to turn too, this time she is scared of Vi. Vi has become the monsters that hunted them.

And then there's Caitlyn, who stares down at the city, who was willing to shoot even though she might hit a child, who is mad with grief and rage and who understands now why it is so easy to hate them - and she puts on the coat, and she looks like Silco. Because she is drowning, because she feels afraid, and hateful and angry and destroyed, and she is willing to lead the forces against the other side, no matter the cost.

What really gets me though, is the parallel of Viktor and Jayce's transformations. Jayce has become Viktor, has slept in the lab, has become obsessed with hextech and Viktor's equations and notes and finding something to help him. He wants to quit the council, he wants to spend all his time with Viktor in the lab. Jayce has become what Viktor needed to save him. And Viktor, in turn, now looks like the mage that saved Jayce as a child, with his cane as a staff and his blue cloak, Viktor has become the magic Jayce has always been looking to create.

This show makes me INSANE

sometimes the moral of the story really is just "you cannot go back and what happened to you is going to be with you for the rest of your life. but it's still going to be okay" huh

you're just mad that my presence is haunting and offputting and yours isn't

““For the first time in his celestial existence, Castiel understood the story of Adam and Eve. The moment of biting into the forbidden fruit and having their eyes opened as if newborn babes. Castiel did not bite into the fruit, he plucked it from the fires of hell and branded it with his grace. With that singular touch, that claim he had no command to lay, something in him cracked.””

— Heaven and Hell, SPN Series 4 Book 10 by Carver Edlund (via yes-acdc-rules)

snoopy of the day

sighs wishfully. i wish I was abusing substances right now