Ive Never Not Been Embarrassing. It’s Exhausting

keeping sirius alive in my fic just to make him a fucking wreck in the bg core✨

yes yes yes yes yes gimme draco "no sense of personal space" malfoy

I don’t choose ships. They choose me, and then destroy my life.

AU where Regulus’ karma is having a son who happens to be the carbon copy of Sirius.

social interaction is a game to ron and 9/10ths of the time he's winning, he's being a goddamn sleuth, he's having the absolute time of his life

social interaction is a game to draco and it stresses him tf out--if he makes one wrong move he keels over and dies

for the asks: 🍄🍄

🍄 Mushroom: What is a quote you find comfort in?

here’s three omg im too mentally ill for one not gonna lie <3 

“sleep heavily and know that i am here with you. the past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. and while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first, and settles in as the gentle present. this now, this us, we can cope with that. we can do this together you and i.”- cecil baldwin

“she peels an orange, separates it in perfect halves, and gives one of them to me. if i could wear it like a friendship bracelet, i would. instead i swallow it section by section and tell myself it means even more this way. to chew and to swallow in silence with her. to taste the same thing in the same moment.” - nina lacour

“meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting — over and over announcing your place in the family of things.” - mary oliver

thank you so much my love :) have a wonderful day/night <33

Must be so so hard to be a professional writer and write something with just BANGER narrative architecture like just incredible symbolism and foils and parallels and thematic consistency and dramatic irony and then just silently release this into the world and hope the audience Gets It.

I learned recently, while researching gaslighting, that there is a second type called ‘Emotional gaslighting’. This is when your abusers deny the reality of your feelings. 'You’re too sensitive’, 'It wasn’t that bad’, 'You’re just faking it for attention’, 'Stop acting like you’re hurt’ 'Come on, it didn’t hurt you’ 'You’re overreacting!’ 'You’re fine, stop exaggerating’, these phrases deny your own feelings to you. They communicate to you that not only the abuser doesn’t believe you’re experiencing pain, they’re demanding you to pretend that you aren’t. They’re asking you to deny your reality and to pretend it’s not real.

This will make you feel like you’re not allowed to feel your own emotions, and you’ll end up questioning if any of your emotion is real or are you faking it? Are you justified in feeling what you do? Are your feelings of pain and terror really just an exaggeration that doesn’t have a basis in reality? Are you making up your own suffering? Is all this pain in your head only?

This, again, will cause you to feel like you’re going insane, and doubt your every reaction to any event, you’ll try to see if thru someone else’s eyes you would be perceived as 'reasonable’ for having a reaction that you do, and it will drive you insane trying to figure out what are the 'correct’ responses while all you feel is shame, anxiety, pain and desperation.

This illusion falls apart when you realize that all 'correct’ responses are only those convenient to your abuser, and that somehow, your every positive and obedient reaction to them is 'correct’, while justified upset and pain at their abuse is 'wrong and forbidden’. So somehow you’ve been reacting to everything right, except the abuse. Somehow, your every thought and feeling needs to be convenient to them or it’s wrong. That’s how you know it’s only a self-serving game they’re playing, and all your emotions were correct all along, as there’s no way for you to 'feel’ wrong. All your pain is still their fault, and not your fault for 'feeling it’, and things are exactly as bad as you feel them. Your feelings are a reflection of reality that is happening to you, if there was no cause of you feeling upset and pained, you would not be feeling it.  

current wip chapter has got me a lil mentally ill ngl

katsuki wrapped his hand in a vice-like grip around the lower half of the losernerd's face to shut him up. he looked good like this, good as in right, with his fingers digging divots into his cheek, tears pricking at his eyes, with his hand heated up just enough to be uncomfortable. katsuki had always been the cruel muzzle to deku's yappy little dog, the choking collar to his too-short leash, the steel-toed boot to a vulnerable side.